


Serendipity

by Mordinette



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-05
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 01:42:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 98,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/555483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordinette/pseuds/Mordinette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Horizon... Destroyer of hopes and dreams. Instead of enjoying a happy reunion with Kaidan, Shepard is now hurt and angry. She decides to move on with Garrus, thinking that one day Kaidan will come crawling back to her. But will she really want him back? Or will his betrayal turn out to be a blessing in disguise? Rated E for adult content.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back to Life

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is a fill for a prompt at the ME kink meme. The prompt was:
> 
> "So... I want to see a story, in which Shepard was so pissed and hurt about what happened on Horizon, and she decided to have some payback. She cheated on Kaidan with Garrus. Some part of her brain was screaming that it's not right, and she's ruining her friendship, but at that point she did not care.
> 
> And Shepard thinks, that one day that bastard will understand and crawl back to beg her forgive him. And she will...
> 
> Time passes. She is not so angry any more. And Garrus is always close to her, always watching her six, always cares about her. But he's not an idiot and he knows that he is... replacement. And it didn't stop him, because, you know, he always had a crush on her.
> 
> And when she is in custody, it's Garrus she's thinking about, not Kaidan.
> 
> And when Shepard meets Kaidan again before the attack... It's nothing. No feelings. No pain. No regret - because... because she understands that there is someone out there, who she really cares about. And if Kaidan wouldn't walk from her, she would never knew.
> 
> Turns out, even revenge can bring something good..."
> 
> Big thanks to The Red Celt for beta reading and for her very helpful suggestions.
> 
> Disclaimer: BioWare owns Mass Effect and its characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

 

It was bad enough to wake up on a cold and hard operating table in some unknown lab, wincing from pain as she listened to the disembodied voice of a woman barking instructions at her to fight through the station without knowing anything about where she was or how she got there. But to find out that she'd died and spent most of the last two years in that lab being rebuilt and brought back to life by Cerberus, as if she was a robot that just needed booting up to be used again and again while her friends had scattered all over the galaxy—it was almost too much. She tried not to think about the pain, both physical and emotional, that this whole situation left her with, but instead concentrate on the present and the undeniably important task of finding out why humans were abducted on distant colonies and by whom.

This plan worked during the day when she was busy finding allies to fill her team with, undertaking missions the Illusive Man sent her on and fighting mercs, mechs, gangs—whoever was in her way. But the nights were an altogether different matter. Lying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, the memories of Kaidan—his smile, his touch, his kiss—flooded her mind and set shivers down her spine in hopeless waves of desire. She had no idea where he was and whether he even knew that she was alive. She didn't think so; it wasn't as though Cerberus had broadcasted the fact—at least, as far as she knew.

She'd bumped into Tali on her first mission when they'd gone to investigate a recent attack on Freedom's Progress. Shepard had been glad to see her young friend and hoped that she could convince her to join her team again, but Tali had other responsibilities now. So, once they'd talked to Veetor and found out as much as they could about the Collectors, Shepard was forced to return to the _Normandy_ without her, and she felt even more alone than before. Her old squad had moved on with their lives and there was nothing she could do about it.

She was glad to at least have Joker and Dr. Chakwas aboard; it was nice to have familiar faces on the ship. But the darkness that had enveloped her new life only really started to lift once she found Garrus.

She felt as if a little piece of her heart was given back to her when Archangel, the mysterious vigilante they were looking for, took off his helmet and Garrus's face came into view.

"Shepard," he said, his exhaustion almost palpable in his voice, "I thought you were dead."

"Garrus!" She flashed him a happy smile and opened her arms wide as if she was about to give him the biggest hug of his life. If turians even hugged—she wasn't quite sure about that, so she lowered her arms back down and simply asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Just some target practice with these idiots." He nodded towards the bridge as he rested the butt of his rifle on the ground, holding onto the barrel as he sat down on the back of a couch with a sigh.

"Are you okay?"

"Been better, but I'm glad you're here."

And just like that, he simply accepted the fact that she was alive. No questions, no accusations—it was as if it had only been a couple of days since they'd last seen each other.

Fighting alongside him again was the most normal thing that had happened to her ever since she'd woken up in that lab. They'd always worked well together, and this time was no different. Having him by her side, joking and strategizing with him: it was just like old times.

Then that damned gunship came and nearly killed him. She knelt by his side, willing him to hold on despite the blood gurgling in his throat with every desperate breath he tried to take and the light in his eyes fading with every second. The thought of losing Garrus right after she'd just found him felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest again. She ordered Jacob to radio Joker to get them out of there and have Dr. Chakwas prepare for their arrival.

Once they were back on the ship they rushed him to the medical bay and he spent hours in surgery, attended to by both Dr. Chakwas and Professor Solus. Shepard paced up and down the briefing room the whole time, waiting for some news about the outcome of the operation and hoping that, even if he was not going to be able to join her team to fight the Collectors, at least he was going to pull through and survive the rocket that had torn through the right side of his face.

When Jacob finally came in and said, "Commander. We've done everything we could for Garrus, but the damage was too extensive," her heart sank. She had to hold on to the edge of the table to control her shaking hands.

"Mordin and Dr. Chakwas repaired his injuries with surgery and some cybernetics," Jacob continued. "We think he'll have full functionality, but—"

He was interrupted by Garrus striding into the room. Shepard let out a relieved sigh and finally let go of the table as a smile spread across her face.

"Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?" he asked, and at that moment she knew that everything was going to be all right. He was back, alive and—other than his face being scarred and bandaged— he was doing well, and she couldn't resist the temptation to tease him a little.

"Hell, Garrus, you were always ugly. Slap some face-paint on there and no one will even notice." she quipped with a smirk, folding her arms across her chest and leaning back on one leg.

"Hah... oh, don't make me laugh," he chuckled, then winced in pain. "My face is barely holding together as it is—though maybe that's a blessing in disguise. Some women find facial scars attractive. Of course, most of those women are krogan..."

Jacob shook his head, impressed by the indestructible turian, then saluted Shepard and left the room. As soon as he was gone, Garrus's voice turned serious.

"Actually, I'm more worried about you. Cerberus? Really? You remember all those terrible things they did?"

"Yeah, I know. But the Collectors have been abducting whole human colonies and nobody else cares. Cerberus has the will and the resources to try to stop it. So I'm working with them—but not for them," she explained. "That's one reason I'm glad you're here, Garrus," she added. "I need somebody I can trust at my side; somebody to watch my back as I walk into hell. Again."

"Just like old times." His mandibles flared in a cocky smile, but he soon continued in a more serious tone, "The docs would tell you otherwise, but don't believe them. I'm fit for duty whenever you need me. Until then, I'll see what I can do at the forward batteries."

He turned around and left, and for the first time since she'd woken up and found herself in this impossible situation, she felt like she was finally not alone. It was good to have him back. Just like old times.

 

* * *

 

Garrus had just finished entering some firing algorithms when the door opened and Shepard walked in. He'd been settling in, familiarizing himself with the ship and the weapons systems and pondering the events of the last couple of days. He'd been fighting off wave after wave of mercs at his hideout, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could have made it on his own. He was vastly outnumbered, and—though he'd managed to foil the mercs' various attempts at killing him, funneling them onto the bridge and picking them off one by one—he knew that there was no way out and he couldn't have held them off forever.

Then he spotted Shepard in his rifle's scope and everything changed. He recognized her right away; there was a distinct way in which she moved and directed her team, and once she got closer, he could see her face and he knew that it was really her. To say that he was shocked to see her would have been a tremendous understatement. After all, she had been declared dead two years before—he'd attended her memorial service, along with the surviving crew of the _Normandy_ , solemn and heart-broken. But her body had never been found, so when she suddenly appeared at his base, fighting through those damn mercs and closing in on his position, he simply accepted the fact that the Spirits had finally decided to stop torturing him.

And now here he was, on her ship again, and even though he hated Cerberus, he was willing to work with them—as long as he could fight alongside her again.

"Shepard. Need me for something?" he asked, turning towards her.

"Have you got a minute?" She stopped at the railing and her gaze fell on his face, her expression full of concern as she examined the scars and the bandages.

"Sure. Just checking the weapons systems." He made a wide gesture towards the console behind him that he'd been working on for the last couple of hours. "I can't believe Cerberus rebuilt the _Normandy_ —and they even added a few really nice upgrades. We should have teamed up with them sooner," he drawled, flaring his mandibles out in a toothy grin.

"How are you getting along with the crew?"

"Reasonably well. They are as friendly as Cerberus people can be towards a turian." He shrugged, then looked at her and hesitated a bit before he continued, "How did you end up with them?"

"I'm... not sure. The last thing I remember is abandoning the _Normandy_. I managed to get Joker's ass into an escape pod, but I couldn't quite make it. I got sucked out into space, and my suit was damaged. I... couldn't breathe." Her heart began to beat a little faster and her throat went dry as she recalled those terrible seconds when she was gasping for air while she desperately tried to stop the leak. She shivered, but managed to repress the slight panic that threatened to resurface at those memories, and went on. "The next thing I knew I woke up in a lab. Cerberus had managed to rebuild my body. Don't ask me how," she smirked. Those details were still not clear to her, but it didn't really matter; the end result was the same. She was alive, thrown back into the fight to save humanity—and the whole galaxy—once again.

"Damn. I'm sorry. I mean, I'm sorry about the dying part, uh, that is, the not being able to breathe thing, ah, you know," he coughed, trying to dig himself out of the hole he suddenly found himself in. "But... I'm really glad to have you back."

"Thanks, Garrus." She smiled at him and patted his arm. "I'm glad to have you here, too. Do you have any information about the rest of the crew?"

"Not really. After you, ah, died, we just drifted apart. Tali went back to the Fleet and, as far as I know, Wrex returned to Tuchanka. I'm not sure about the Alliance people."

"And what about you? How did you end up on Omega?"

"After the _Normandy_ was destroyed I trained to become a Spectre, but it just didn't work out. Got tired of all the political bullshit and red tape on the Citadel. Omega, on the other hand..." His voice drifted off and he started to pace up and down as he recalled the outrage and disgust he'd felt when he'd first arrived at that hellhole and witnessed the atrocities the different gangs committed without any repercussions. "Omega was filled with criminals and nobody gave a damn," he ground out. "There had to be someone to stand up to the local thugs. Someone people could believe in."

Shepard nodded at that, then crossed her arms and leaned back against the railing as she watched him move around in the small space. "And how did you end up with a team?

"I wasn't the only one who wanted to do something about the situation. A lot of people had been affected by those thugs' activities. Some of them were willing to step up to the plate—especially when they saw that I could get things done." He stopped and stared off into the distance as the faces of his crew flashed up in his mind. "There were humans, turians, even a salarian and a batarian. They all lost somebody to the mercs, or did things themselves they wanted to atone for. _I_ gave them hope. And now they're dead. Shows what I know." He shook his head as he stared at the floor.

"What happened?"

"There were twelve of us, including me. I thought they were all loyal; I thought we all wanted the same thing. Apparently, I was wrong. One of them betrayed me: Sidonis," he spat out his name as if it was poison and his eyes narrowed in rage. "He lured me away from the base and while I was gone, the mercs attacked. So now everyone except me is dead—all because of him. And because I didn't suspect anything."

"Are you sure he betrayed you? Maybe they killed him first."

"No. I did some investigating, checked with old contacts. He booked transport off Omega just before the attack, then withdrew all his credits from his private accounts before he left. He sold me and everybody else on the team out and ran. They were all good men, and now they're gone while he's somewhere out there, living off his blood money. But one day I'll find him... and fix that."

There was a menacing growl mixed with bitterness in his voice, and Shepard knew that eventually he'd make good on his promise. She wasn't sure if that was the right thing to do—revenge might be sweet in the heat of the moment, but sometimes it just made things worse in the end. It wasn't like him to kill someone in cold blood and she was afraid that the ramifications of doing something like that would be worse for him than the satisfaction he would get out of it, but she let it go for now; she decided that they'd cross that bridge when they came to it. So she just nodded her head again and hummed emphatically as she watched him turn back to his console.

"Thanks for coming by, Shepard. I have some work to do," he said, his voice still strained with anger, and she knew that her time was up. As much as she wanted to be there for him, he needed his space at that moment.

She turned around and left, her heart aching for him, determined to help him through this—no matter what it would take. After all, he was her friend . . . her only friend left in this universe.

 


	2. Back to Reality

Now that she had Garrus back, she took him on every mission she could. It felt good to have him near; there was nobody she trusted more and she knew that he felt the same way about her. They fell into their old routine of working together as a well-oiled machine, fighting enemies and watching each other's backs, joking and laughing when things eased up a little, and creeping behind cover silently when necessary.

Her team started to fill out with new members, too: they recruited Zaeed, a ruthless mercenary; fought through Purgatory, the prison ship, and succeeded in convincing Jack, who—much to her surprise—turned out to be a young woman (crazy biotic bitch, according to Zaeed) to join them despite her hatred of Cerberus. They even managed to snag a perfect, tank-born krogan. He wasn't Wrex, but he had potential, despite his youth and inexperience.

The ship started to feel a little bit more like home and, though she still missed some of her old friends from the first _Normandy_ , she began to develop a certain familiarity with her new crew. Whenever she was done checking and answering her mail, studying the parameters of the next mission, writing her reports, and doing all that boring administrative stuff she always hated, she went around the ship and talked to whoever wasn't in the middle of some important task. She enjoyed spending time with Mordin and finding out about his days with the STG, listened to Zaeed's tall tales of survival, tried to guide Grunt, the young krogan, along the path to adulthood, and even had a poker game with Gabby and Ken in engineering. Garrus was glued to his console, calibrating the guns, so she had to catch him whenever he was having a meal in the mess hall if she wanted to have a chat with him. He was still upset about Sidonis and his dead squad members, and it hurt her to see him like this, but he slowly started to loosen up a bit.

She didn't like to spend much time in her cabin; it felt cold and empty and utterly impersonal. She'd lost all her belongings in the crash of her first ship, and even her omni-tool had been damaged when she'd entered Alchera's atmosphere; she had to be issued a new one by Cerberus. Her model ships, her books, her holos—all gone in the blink of an eye. She did find a turian cruiser and a geth ship model in one of the shops on Omega and, after much deliberation, she decided to spend the credits on them. She placed them on a shelf above her workplace—her first two items of decoration that she'd chosen herself, if you could even call them that. Most people would have adorned their lodgings with paintings, small sculptures or maybe a plant here and there, but she appreciated the sleek lines of a well designed ship much more than any artistic value those other, useless things might have offered.

After some searching, she found an official picture of Kaidan on the extranet, and she downloaded it to her omni-tool. From then on, every night, as she lay in her bed, alone and lonely, she'd bring up that picture on the screen and stare at him, drinking in the warmth of his brown eyes, the slight curve of his lips and the curls in his hair. Then she'd say good-night to him, turn off the screen and the lights and try to go to sleep. If she was tired enough, she'd fall into an exhausted, dreamless state of unconsciousness, but most of the time she'd toss and turn around, wishing that he was there to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be all right: they were going to get through this—together.

 

* * *

 

When they docked at the Citadel to pick up Kasumi Goto, the best thief in the galaxy and a highly skilled tech expert (at least according to the Illusive Man's dossier), Shepard decided to grab the opportunity to do some shopping, both for upgrades and for her own quarters.

Garrus and Grunt had no trouble getting through the newly established security checkpoint, but the scanner insisted that she was dead—which had practically been true, at least until a few months ago, when her cells had slowly started to regenerate. It was a grim reminder both to herself and to Garrus just how far she'd gone down the path of no return before she was brought back into the land of the living by an organization that she'd never thought she'd ever work with.

She still wasn't sure how she felt about the whole thing. She was glad to be alive, even if the life she was given consisted of fighting enemies, getting injured, then being patched up in the med bay almost every day. But the whole idea of dying, her body broken and useless, then being rebuilt cell by cell, tissue by tissue in a lab—she wasn't exactly comfortable with that thought. But that's how it was, and she tried not to dwell on it. So she simply told the guard that she'd been missing in action, talked to Captain Bailey in C-Sec and got re-entered into the system. Being a hero sometimes had its advantages.

Garrus watched the scene unfold in front of him and couldn't help but think about the moment when she'd come back into his life. He didn't care how it happened, not even that it was done by Cerberus. All that mattered was that she was alive. He'd mourned her, grieved for her; he'd blamed himself for not being there to protect her. As soon as he'd rejoined her crew he'd made a solemn vow that he would never make that same mistake again. Dealing with the Citadel's bureaucracy, however, was an altogether different matter; it wasn't as though he could point his rifle at the C-Sec officers and demand that they let her through. So when the captain reinstated her without any difficulty and they could finally stroll into Zakera Ward, he released the breath he'd been holding and followed right behind her. Just like he would follow her into hell or anywhere else her path would take them.

 

* * *

 

Since their funds were limited, they went to Rodam Expeditions, Saronis Applications and the Sirta Foundation first to purchase all the upgrades they could afford before Shepard could even think about looking at any other shops to browse for some other items. It never ceased to amaze and annoy her that after Cerberus had spent four billion credits on bringing her back from the cold clutches of death, not to mention the resources they'd spent on rebuilding the _Normandy_ , they still had to scavenge for heat sinks and power cells and hack every safe she could find for credits on their missions, and could never afford everything she wanted to outfit her squad (and herself) with to give them the best possible odds against the enemy.

She did get a nice sniper rifle mod for Garrus, which almost made him purr with joy, and got some foodstuffs, both dextro and levo, at Zakera Café.

Thankfully she still had some money left, so she led her team to Citadel Souvenirs next. She'd noticed the little store on their way to Rodam Expeditions and was anxious to browse its offerings. Not like she expected the shop to provide any useful items for the mission, but she hoped that she could find some decorations for her cabin to make it a little more personal and home-like.

Garrus and Grunt had to pick up the pace to keep up with her as she rushed over to the store. When they arrived, they almost bumped into her as she suddenly stopped in her tracks, staring at the model ships on the shelves, the colorful fish gliding around gracefully in a big aquarium, and a few old fashioned picture frames in the corner, gathering dust and seemingly forgotten. Not many people used those anymore; holos were much more popular these days.

"What are we getting here?" Grunt rumbled, looking around. He was getting tired of all this shopping. He did like to explore new places, and the Citadel was interesting for the first ten minutes, but his patience was wearing thin by now. He hoped that this was going to be the first and last shopping trip Shepard ever took him on; he'd much rather rush into blood-pumping battle with her than follow her around on a stupid space station.

"Some model ships. And some fish. Definitely some fish," she said, her eyes sparkling with the joy of a child on Christmas morning.

"Why are we getting fish?" Grunt shook his head in bewilderment, but then he remembered something. They'd overheard a krogan whine about wanting to eat some fish earlier; maybe it really was some delicacy and they were going to have Gardner prepare it for dinner. Or just eat it raw. Raw would be good, too, he was sure of that. "Are we going to eat it?" He smacked his lips as his stomach growled; he hadn't even realized until now how hungry all this running around had made him.

"No!" Shepard exclaimed, horrified, staring at her "baby krogan", as Kelly had called him when she had first brought him on board. "I have a huge aquarium in my quarters. All it's missing is some fish, so I'm going to get some."

"And who's going to feed them?" Garrus interjected with a grin. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you sometimes forget to feed even yourself?"

"I... won't forget," she said defiantly, crossing her arms in front of her chest and glaring at the smirking turian. "It's not up for debate; I'm getting some, and that's all there is to it."

"It's your choice. But I won't be surprised if one day you find them floating upside down in the tank. Dead," he added helpfully. His voice rumbled with all the seriousness such an important matter deserved, but his eyes glinted with mischief.

"Can I eat them then?" Grunt asked hopefully, and Shepard couldn't help but laugh at his eagerness.

"Fine." She shrugged her shoulders, then turned to the kiosk to start placing her order. "But I don't think that will ever happen. I'll keep them alive."

"We'll see about that," Garrus drawled as he watched her punch the numbers in.

She also bought two ship models, and when the purchase was cleared, she turned to the saleswoman behind the counter.

"Umm... Can I take a look at one of those picture frames?"

"Of course. Which one?" The asari smiled pleasantly as she regarded the armored human with the strange companions.

"The black and silver one."

The clerk went over to the corner and picked the frame up. She dusted if off with her hands as she returned to the counter.

"I have a picture on my omni-tool. Can you make a print of it to put in this frame?" Shepard asked with some hesitation. She wasn't sure if these kinds of shops still did that; they used to, but that was a long time ago.

"Yes, just open up your omni-tool so I can upload the picture to our printer," the asari replied matter-of-factly, and Shepard had to fight to urge to jump over the counter and hug her.

She outstretched her arm, twisting it so that the screen faced the clerk, and brought up Kaidan's holo. The next moment the sound of a faint sigh demanded her attention, and she turned her head to look back at her team behind her. Grunt was still staring at the fish in the tank with hunger in his eyes, but Garrus seemed to be watching her with sadness, his mandibles pulled in tightly to his face.

"Are you okay?" she asked, unsure if she'd interpreted his facial expression correctly.

"I'm fine," he replied, but he didn't sound like it. He turned away and pretended to watch the passersby in the surrounding area.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the clerk, telling her that the print was ready. They put the picture in the frame, then she paid and took the bag with her treasure inside as she instructed the asari to have the fish and the ship models delivered to the _Normandy_ as soon as possible.

They went back to the docking bay in silence, and were about to enter the elevator to go to their respective floors when Kelly called out to her.

"Commander, the Illusive Man wishes to speak with you."

Shepard stopped in her tracks with a sigh. "I'll be right there." She signaled Garrus and Grunt to take the elevator without her.

She strode into the conference room and put the bag down before she stepped into the circle to initiate the connection.

"Shepard," the Illusive Man said as he came into view, exhaling a puff of smoke and swirling his drink in a glass.

_'He's going to die of lung cancer or liver failure. Or both,'_ she thought. Not that she cared; he could die of the most horrible disease as far as she was concerned, and she wouldn't spare him a thought— as long as it happened after they'd dealt with the Collectors and whoever was moving the strings behind them.

"Horizon—one of our colonies in the Terminus Systems—has just gone silent. I think it's the Collectors. They are either there right now, or soon will be. This would be a perfect opportunity to catch them in the act. Has Mordin been able to develop the countermeasure against their seeker swarms?"

"Not yet," she said, her mind already racing ahead, putting the team roster, attack plans, and other mission specifics together.

"There's something else you should know," the Illusive Man continued. "Kaidan Alenko is on Horizon."

"Why? What is he doing there?" Her stomach fluttered at the mention of his name and the possibility of meeting up with him.

"Officially it's an outreach program from the Alliance. But there must be some other reason. The Alliance wouldn't send one of its most decorated soldiers to a faraway colony just for a PR stunt. But you'll have to ask him about it yourself—I don't have any other information than what I've already told you."

"All right. Send the coordinates to Joker and we'll head right there."

She barely heard his "Good luck" as she hurried out the door, picking up the bag on her way out.

_'Kaidan. Hold on; I'm coming,'_ was all she could think about as she hurried to the tech lab to talk to Mordin and get ready.


	3. Horizon

"We really need those defenses against the seeker swarms, Mordin," Shepard said as she strode into the lab with resolute purpose. "Have you made any progress on them?"

Mordin looked up from his workstation, his fingers stopping their dance over the display he'd been working on, and nodded with a confident smile. "Yes. Observe."

He pushed a button on his console and ran the simulation he'd just finished: a modified armor in the middle of those pesky bugs, seemingly ignored and untouched by their paralyzing venom. The hologram seemed convincing enough, and she started to breathe a little easier.

"Excellent." Her shoulders relaxed a bit, but her voice remained intent. "We must implement this right away. We're heading to a colony that might be under the Collectors' attack."

"Need squad's armor for adaptation."

"I'm taking Garrus and Grunt. We'll come in as soon as we're suited up," Shepard said as she headed out the door. "I hope your modifications will do the trick, Mordin," she added absentmindedly, almost as an afterthought. After all, Mordin Solus wasn't considered a genius for nothing. If anybody could pull this off, it was him.

"Upgrade should make team invisible to seeker swarms. In theory," he replied casually, then he turned his attention back to the panel in front of him.

She was almost out the door, her mind already occupied with the next steps she needed to take before they embarked on their mission, but her feet froze to the ground at the salarian's words, and she slowly turned around. Her eyebrows pulled into a frown as she glared at him. "In theory?"

"Upgrade technology experimental," Mordin shrugged. "Need testing in field. Will be interesting to see if you'll survive."

Shepard let out an aggravated grunt as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned back on one leg. "If _we'll_ survive. You're coming, too. There's plenty of room for all of us in the shuttle."

"Hmm... Testing in person." Mordin took in a sharp breath and his eyelids fluttered closed for a second as he considered the possibilities. "Should be exciting."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes, and the corner of her lips curved into a half smile as she lowered her arms and turned around to exit the lab. Good old Mordin. Exasperating and lovable at the same time.

 

* * *

 

"Kelly, have all the shipments arrived from the Citadel?" she asked the yeoman as she walked into the CIC.

"Yes, Commander. The provisions were delivered to Gardner and the items from Citadel Souvenirs were taken to your quarters as per your instructions."

Shepard nodded her head in acknowledgement and tapped on her communicator while she entered the elevator to go to her cabin.

"Joker, plot a course for Horizon."

"Aye aye, Commander."

 

* * *

 

She found the model ships in their boxes and the fish in a clear container, filled with water, on her coffee table. There was no time to enjoy her purchases now, but she made sure to release the fish into the aquarium, and she pushed the button to give them some food—she was not going to lose the little guys the very first day she got them, especially not after Garrus's dire predictions of her starving them to death.

The picture frame with Kaidan's photo found a new home on her desk, and she couldn't resist spending a few moments running her fingers over his face, stroking the glass lightly as her chest tightened with worry. The Collectors had taken all the residents of Freedom's Progress and she had no doubt that if it was really them who were responsible for Horizon's silence, they were planning to do the same thing over there, too. Mordin had succeeded in developing a countermeasure for the seeker swarms (and she sincerely hoped that it was going to work), but what about the Alliance? Were they even aware of the danger?

Her stomach trembled and she felt sick at the thought of Kaidan and all those people being taken away for who knew what purpose. She clenched her jaw, determined to do everything in her power to prevent that from happening.

She changed into her heavy armor, installed the few upgrades she'd been able to purchase on the Citadel, then headed down to tell Garrus and Grunt to suit up and get their weapons ready.

 

* * *

 

They landed on the outskirts of Horizon. The lack of any kind of communication from the settlement's headquarters did nothing but add to their sense of dread and reinforce their suspicions that something was wrong—very wrong.

The colony was eerily quiet and empty but for the occasional buzzing of the seekers, flying around in dense clouds and searching for new victims. They seemed to be ignoring their little group, though, and Shepard let out a small sigh of relief as she pushed on.

Mordin brought up his omni-tool to take some readings. "Countermeasure seems to be working. Test successful. So far."

"Test?" Garrus stopped in his tracks to gape at the salarian. "You weren't sure that this would work?"

"That's why I ordered him to join us." Shepard waved a hand at the road leading into the settlement. "Let's go. Everybody, stay sharp. If there are seekers here, the Collectors can't be far behind."

Indeed, they found the first pack of Collectors soon after. They managed to take them by surprise, taking cover behind some crates and walls surrounding a small clearing as they unleashed a hail of bullets on them until not one guardian or assassin or drone was standing and all was quiet again.

They searched every building, but the only thing they could find were the remnants of the colonists' lives, suddenly interrupted by a terrible force—just like on Freedom's Progress. The knot in Shepard's stomach grew bigger and bigger, and when they came upon a row of pods, ready to be filled with the paralyzed victims, she couldn't help but wonder if one of them was waiting for Kaidan's frozen body—if he hadn't been transported aboard already.

Her thoughts were soon interrupted by a fresh group of enemies, and she threw herself into the fight with renewed purpose. Her team worked beautifully together; Garrus made good use of his upgraded sniper rifle, Grunt rushed into battle with unbridled enthusiasm, and Mordin moved around, dodging, fighting, and setting enemies on fire or freezing them with the same confidence and efficiency that he always exhibited, whether on the battlefield or in his lab back on the ship.

They swept through each area they found and fought wave after wave of Collectors and husks. After a while they found some colonists, though all of them were frozen as they were, paralyzed by those damned bugs, waiting to be harvested and taken away. Mordin took some scans and determined that they were in some kind of stasis-like state—unable to move, but still alive.

"Are they going to stay like this forever?" Grunt asked, the thought of immobility not at all appealing to him.

"Not likely. Paralysis probably temporary until taken aboard. Makes it easier to harvest organics," Mordin replied matter-of-factly, as if he was discussing the latest scientific paper on the crop gathering methods of an agricultural society.

"So they'll come out of it eventually if they are left alone?" Shepard barked out. When Mordin nodded, she signaled her team to move on.

She searched through the buildings, desperately hoping to find Kaidan in one of the rooms, but he was nowhere. Her heart sank, but they pressed on, and soon they found a mechanic, the only person who had succeeded in hiding from the attack. He directed them to the defense tower, and they took up positions to defend it from the enemy closing in on them while EDI calibrated the firing algorithms so that the laser cannons could be deployed to defend the colony.

It was a brutal fight, and she couldn't have been happier that she had brought Mordin along. While Garrus and herself moved from cover to cover to deal with the enemies, Grunt kept charging around with reckless excitement, and Mordin had to apply medi-gel to the fallen krogan several times—while keeping the husks and Collectors at bay with his own guns and tech powers.

The cannons finally came online and started their assault on the Collector ship. It didn't take much more than that for the Collectors to withdraw and blast off from the planet.

Shepard's hands curled into fists as she stared up at the receding ship, its exhaust streaking a bright light across the blue sky. "Dammit! Half the colonists are still on board!"

Garrus stepped behind her and clapped her on the shoulder in sympathy. "We did what we could, Shepard."

She hung her head, fighting back the tears, when she heard somebody else call her name. For a moment she thought she was hallucinating: it sounded like... Kaidan. She glanced up, and there he was, walking towards her, his lips quirking in that cute little smile she'd been dreaming of every night for the past few weeks. He came to a stop and looked into her face, examining every little detail, as if to make sure that it was actually her. When he put his arms around her and pulled her close, her brain finally accepted the fact that this was really happening; his smell, his touch, his embrace—it was all real, he was here, alive and well, and she let out the breath she'd been holding as she basked in his warmth.

"Shepard. I thought you were dead," he said as he broke the embrace and took a step back.

"Are you okay?" she asked, searching his face and his armor for any signs of injuries. If he'd been conscious this whole time, she expected that he would have been fighting the Collectors—but she didn't see any blood or burn marks on him, so she wondered if he'd been paralyzed, like the rest of the colonists, until now.

"Is that all you have to say to me? After two years you suddenly show up and act like nothing's happened? How could you do this to me?" His words burst out like fiery rocks from an erupting volcano, relentlessly pummeling her soul and burning an aching hole in her heart. "I mourned you! I loved you, Shepard. I was a broken shell after you'd died—or, rather, after I thought you'd died. Why didn't you contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?"

"I _did_ die, Kaidan," she said, astounded by the intensity of his glare and the rage in his voice. This wasn't exactly the way she'd imagined their reunion. But he did deserve an explanation, so she went on, "I was clinically dead and spent the last two years in a coma while Cerberus rebuilt me."

"You're with Cerberus now..." He took another step back, as if recoiling in disgust at the thought. "There were rumors that you were alive and working with Cerberus. I hoped that the rumors were true about you being alive, but I never would have expected you to work with the enemy!"

"Entire human colonies are disappearing and Cerberus is the only organization that's willing to do something about it." She waved a hand, as if trying to swat away his accusations. "So I'm working with them, but that doesn't mean that I answer to them."

"Do you really believe that? Or is that what Cerberus wants you to think?" He narrowed his eyes as he stared at her, his voice thick with anger. "You turned your back on everything we believed in. You betrayed the Alliance. You betrayed _me_."

Garrus let out a warning growl, barely audible to human ears, but Grunt picked up on it immediately. He glanced at the turian, his interest piqued by the hard glare in Garrus's eyes as he glowered at this annoying human.

"Come on, Kaidan, you know me." Shepard did her best to remain calm in spite of the annoyance starting to build up inside her as she tried to reason with her former crewman and lover. "You know I wouldn't do this if it wasn't necessary. You saw it yourself—the Collectors are targeting human colonies. And they're working with the Reapers."

"I want to believe you, Shepard. But I don't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of the Reapers to manipulate you. What if they're behind the abductions? What it they're working with the Collectors?"

That was it; Garrus couldn't stand it any longer. He clenched his fists as he rumbled, his mandibles flaring in anger, "Dammit Kaidan, why don't you pull your head out of your ass for a moment? You're letting your hatred for Cerberus blind you to the facts and to the real threat."

"You know this jerk?" Grunt looked at Garrus as he tilted his head in Kaidan's direction.

"Yeah. We used to work together with Shepard a few years ago. I thought we all trusted her and would follow her no matter what," he replied as he shot a pointed look at his old comrade.

"Hmm... Trust and common sense overridden by paranoia and stubborn loyalty to employer organization. Fascinating," Mordin muttered under his breath, tapping a long finger against his chin as he mentally filed away the information under the heading of illogical human behavior in his brain.

Shepard turned around with a raised hand and glared at her teammates, putting an end to the tide of comments, then turned her attention back to Kaidan.

"You're letting how you feel about their history get in the way of the facts," she said, trying one last time to appeal to his senses.

"Maybe. Or maybe you feel you owe Cerberus because they saved you. Maybe you're the one who's not thinking straight," he hissed. Shepard was fairly sure that she could see his biotics beginning to flare with his distrust and rage.

"Do you really think I'm that stupid and naive? I thought you knew me better than that," she spat, hurt and bitterness edging her voice. Her lips tightened into a straight line and she folded her arms in front of her chest, effectively putting up a wall between them.

"All I know is that you've changed. But I still know where my loyalties lie. I'm an Alliance soldier. Always will be," he declared proudly, then he turned around and started to walk away from her—and out of her life. "I've gotta report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not."

"My _story_?" She shook her head and let out an aggravated sigh. What, she was a liar now? "Yeah. We all know how that's gonna work out."

"Goodbye Shepard. And be careful," he added, then he was gone.

With nothing left to say or do here, Shepard tapped her communicator and raised the _Normandy_. "Joker. Get us out of here. I've had enough of this colony."


	4. You're My Best Friend

They went back to the ship in awkward silence, the pain of the encounter with Kaidan still hanging in the air around them, and Shepard retreated to her quarters as soon as they got on board. Garrus wished that he could go after her and say something, anything, to make her feel better, but he wasn't sure if she'd want his company right then. He was pacing up and down the battery, wondering what to do, when the intercom came on and Shepard announced that they were going to go to the Citadel for some shore leave.

They arrived soon after, and he decided to invite her out for drinks and try to cheer her up. When he finally walked into her cabin, however, he found it empty. An enquiry to EDI informed him that she'd already left the ship and gone out to the station. He followed suit, looking for her, not sure where to start, but guessing that she might have had the same idea as he did, he went to the Dark Star Lounge.

The place was more crowded than usual, and it seemed like half the _Normandy_ crew had decided to stake a claim to a spot at the bar, talking and drinking, enjoying the short reprieve from their duties and the ever present danger of their mission, but there was no sign of the commander.

Undeterred, he tapped his communicator as he strode out of the bar, and raised EDI on the comm channel.

"EDI, do you have Shepard's location?"

"Commander Shepard has left strict instructions to contact her only if there is an emergency."

"This _is_ an emergency. I need to talk to her. Where is she?"

"According to my scans, she is in an establishment called 'The Drunken Krogan' in Zakera Ward."

"Thanks, EDI."

He vaguely remembered the place: a small and seedy watering hole mainly frequented by krogans and turians. He'd had to break up a few fights there during his C-Sec days and he sincerely hoped that Shepard wasn't going to start one of those this evening. He wouldn't have put it past her considering the mood she was in.

His fears turned out to be unwarranted, however, since he found her sitting alone at the bar with several empty glasses and a half-consumed bottle of ryncol in front of her. One of her elbows was resting on the counter, the palm of her hand cradling her face, and her other hand was clutching the bottle with a death grip, as if she was afraid that somebody was going to take it away from her. She seemed to be muttering something to an invisible companion. The seats next to her were empty; the barflies had probably come to the conclusion that she was out of her mind and decided to leave her alone.

"Shepard," he said as he came to a stop beside her. He reached out to catch her when she twirled around and almost fell off the bar stool.

"Garrrush!" she yelled, her eyes bleary and her speech slurred. "Whatcha doin' h-here?"

"I came looking for you." Once he was satisfied that she was relatively stable on her stool again, he took a seat next to her.

"That's nice..." Her voice trailed off as she stared at the bottom of her glass, then she suddenly turned towards him and grabbed his arm. "Gar... Garrush. Were you h-happy to sssee me on... Amoeba... Omira.. uh... Omega?"

_'You have no idea how much,'_ he thought, but he simply answered, "Yes."

"I don't th-think that Kaidannn... was 'appy that... I'm alive-uh. He ssseemed... angry 'bout it."

She looked at him with so much sadness in her eyes that it almost broke his heart. It was fortunate that Kaidan wasn't there at that moment, for Garrus wasn't sure that he would have been able to hold back his anger. He couldn't believe that somebody—especially somebody she loved and who supposedly loved her back—could do this to her. If only she'd been his... He quickly chased that thought away, like he always did, and swallowed hard before he put a hand on her shoulder and murmured, "I'm sorry."

"H-he... shtabbed me in the... h-heart, Garrush," she whispered as a fat teardrop rolled down her cheek. "H-he... called m-me a traituh... traituh... traiturrr. H-he turned his back... on me."

"He didn't deserve you," he growled, his grip tightening on her shoulder before he caught himself and let go.

"Damn right!" she exclaimed, her face slowly hardening into that determined look that he was so familiar with. "B-but... one day... he'll come crawl'n b-back to me." She poured herself another drink, sent it down her throat with one gulp, then slammed the cup on the counter with so much force that the bottle and all the empty glasses around it shook and clinked together.

The krogan bartender snapped his head towards her with a glare. "Hey! You break them, you pay for them!" he yelled over the crowd, then he turned back to the turian in front of him.

"Maybe we should leave. You need some rest," Garrus said, prying her fingers off the glass and the bottle and pulling her off the stool.

She let him lead her out of the bar, one of his arms wrapped around her waist to hold her up and guide her on their way back to the ship, while she drawled to him the whole time about how Kaidan was going to come back one day and beg for her forgiveness and how she was going to make him suffer.

Fortunately the _Normandy_ was deserted, the only crew members unlucky enough to be on duty at this hour absorbed in their work at their consoles, so he managed to drag her into the elevator unnoticed. Once they were in her quarters, he steered her to her bed and she plopped down as she was, sprawled out diagonally across the mattress. She seemed to be ready to fall asleep.

"Umm... You should take your armor off before you go to sleep," Garrus offered helpfully. He hoped that she wasn't too far gone yet to be able to accomplish that task.

"Mmm..." she mumbled and made a half-hearted attempt at releasing one of the seals, her fingers unsteady and unfocused. She failed miserably. "H-help me, Garrush," she groaned, eyes closed, as her hand flopped down beside her, incompetent and limp.

He took a tentative step towards her and bent down over her body, reaching out with a shaky hand to push the catch on her right shoulder guard. It released its hold with a hiss. He looked into her face to search for a reaction, but she already seemed to be drifting off to sleep. He turned back to the task at hand and continued removing her armor piece by piece, putting all the parts in a neat pile by the foot of her bed.

He took off the shoulder, arm, and leg guards first. When it was time to remove the chest piece, he pulled her up into a sitting position, kneeling on the floor in front of her and leaning her upper body against his torso as he reached behind her back to push a button.

She moaned and threw her arms around him. Burying her face in his neck, she whispered, "You're my b-best fr-friend, Garrush". She pulled back a little and planted a wet and sloppy kiss on the unscarred side of his face, then laid her head back down on his shoulder.

He froze, wide-eyed, and stared into the darkness, his heart suddenly in his throat and his plates loosened by the lingering sensation of her soft lips on his skin. He swallowed hard and forced his plates to stay closed, trying not to think about how much he wanted to feel that kiss again, how much he wanted to hold her, make love to her—but no, he couldn't think about that; it wasn't right. She was drunk, she was his friend, and... she was a human, while, well, he was not. This last part didn't really matter to him (not anymore), but he had no idea how she felt about inter-species relationships. As for him, he had never been attracted to a member of another species before—until he met her. She was strong, independent, smart, steadfast—everything he'd ever wanted in a mate.

Her alienness had ceased to matter a long time ago, replaced by his admiration of her sparkling green eyes, delicate features and curvy waist. But he knew that she didn't feel the same way about him; he'd seen how she'd looked at Kaidan and how he'd looked at her when they were still working together. He could feel the electricity in the air when those two were in the same room, and, no matter how much he wished that it was him who held her at night, he'd accepted the fact that that was never going to happen. Though, maybe now that Kaidan was probably out of the picture... But no, it was better not to get his hopes up. He took a deep breath to calm his beating heart and peeled off the rest of her armor, revealing the tight black undersuit covering her slim form. His breathing hitched for a second when he accidentally brushed the swell of her breast with his hand as he got up from the floor, picked her up and laid her down in a more comfortable position. He rested her head on her pillow and pulled her arms closer to her body.

A lock of hair fell over her face and he reached for it, gingerly pushing it aside, and he wondered how it would feel to touch her with his bare hands. He considered taking off his gloves for a moment, just for a little while, and graze a finger over her jawline and her hair—she wouldn't mind, would she? He stood there, bent over her sleeping form, his heart racing, unable to decide what to do. He finally determined that it just wasn't right—not while she was unconscious and had no say in the matter. What good would it do, anyway? Better to leave things alone.

He sighed and she murmured something, as if in reply, then she rolled onto her side, her breathing slower and heavier, and he straightened up to head towards the door. His gaze fell on her aquarium as he turned around, and he noticed the colorful fish gliding gracefully in the soothing blue water. He didn't know if she'd fed them yet; so many things had happened in the last few hours that he wouldn't have been surprised if she'd forgotten. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel guilty about some dead fish, so he walked over to the plaque with the feeding button and pushed it, then watched for a while as the fish hurried over to gobble up the food.

He started towards the door again, but before he'd leave, he cast one last look in the direction of her bed and listened for any sign of discomfort. When he was reasonably sure that she was peacefully asleep, he turned around to walk out, but his attention was caught by something in her work area: Kaidan's picture was standing on her desk, looking straight at him, seemingly smirking at the futility of his feelings towards his best friend and commanding officer. Garrus growled, tightening his hands into fists, then he tore his glare away from Kaidan and marched through the door.

Once he was back in the main battery, he slowly peeled off his own armor and collapsed on his cot, resting his elbows on his knees and burying his head in his hands. He sat like that for a while, thinking about her, then he let out a wistful sigh and lay down, staring up at the ceiling. In spite of his racing thoughts, sleep almost claimed him after a while, until his omni-tool went off with an urgent ping.

He brought up the interface to check his messages, and the next moment he sat up with a growl. He stared at the screen, reading the message over and over, then he turned his omni-tool off and lay back down. Sleep didn't come this time, however, for his mind kept chanting the text he'd just received:

_'Garrus,_

_I have a lead on Sidonis. Call me tomorrow morning._

_Lyris'_


	5. Headaches

Her alarm went off at 0600 hours, as usual, and Shepard turned over with a groan to shut the annoyingly loud buzzer off. She reached blindly for the clock, unwilling to open her eyes just yet, and slapped around her nightstand until she finally managed to hit the little button just in the right spot to silence the damn thing. She was exhausted and drained, as if she'd been sparring with a group of krogan the whole night, and it took her a while to muster enough energy to hoist herself up into a sitting position. She immediately regretted the sudden movement, for her head exploded with so much pain that she had to grit her teeth and clutch at her sheets until it subsided enough to let her breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut as she rubbed her temples, but she knew that nothing but a high dose of painkillers and the biggest cup of hot coffee she could find would get rid of the pounding in her head.

She finally opened her eyes to leave the warmth of her bed and take on the day, but she froze as she was when her gaze fell on her arms and legs, which were still clad in the thick black fabric of her undersuit. As she sat there, trying to remember why she had not changed into her shorts and tank top the night before, the memories of the previous day's events slowly flooded back into her aching brain. Her chest swelled with anger at Kaidan, and then constricted again with embarrassment as she remembered getting drunk and Garrus having to escort her back to the ship.

She got up with a moan and headed to the shower, planning to talk to Garrus as soon as she could, but she didn't even get as far as the bathroom door before EDI interrupted her thoughts. Her voice, while quite pleasant under normal circumstances, vibrated loudly in her sensitive brain.

"Commander, Officer Vakarian asked me to let you know that he'd like to speak to you as soon as possible."

"Thanks, EDI," she grumbled, hoping that whatever it was that he wanted to talk about did not involve her having said or done something stupid last night.

She opened the bathroom door and left it ajar, letting the dim light from the rest of her quarters filter in and give her enough illumination without having to turn on any lights, then peeled off her undersuit, threw it in the corner and turned on the shower. She stood under the streaming water, holding on to the cool tile wall, letting the warmth envelop her body and the hot sprays pound her skin and relax her muscles.

She felt a little better after her shower, but her head was still hurting like hell, so she went to the med bay as soon as she was dressed.

"Commander, are you all right?" Dr. Chakwas asked in a concerned voice when she walked in.

She knew she had to look like hell warmed over as she squinted at the doctor, trying to block out the harshness of the med bay lights. "Hangover," she said with a grimace as she trudged over to the nearest bed and lowered herself gingerly onto it. Dr. Chakwas shook her head and went fishing around in the medicine cabinet before producing a bottle of small, white pills. Shepard took the pills from the doctor's outstretched hand and swallowed them dry—a habit she'd picked up in basic training, when sometimes she had to take painkillers while out on the field. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, waiting for the pain to dissipate.

"That should start working in a few minutes," Dr. Chakwas said, placing a gentle hand on Shepard's shoulder. "I heard you met Kaidan on Horizon. How did that go?"

She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. She really didn't want to think about Kaidan right now; she had enough pain to deal with at the moment. But Karin deserved an answer, so she swallowed past the lump in her throat and said, "Not very well. He accused me of being a traitor."

"What?" Chakwas looked genuinely shocked. "Why? Because you're working with Cerberus now?" When Shepard nodded, the doctor shook her head in disappointment. "I never would have expected him to say something like that to you. He should know better—he should know _you_ better! But," she added, "I suppose that makes Joker and I also traitors in his mind, then." She patted Shepard's arm in a motherly gesture, and suddenly her head seemed to hurt a little less. "Don't you worry about what he thinks; all of us are with you, every step of the way. You're not alone in this, Commander."

"Thanks, doc," she said as she slid off the bed and walked to the door, blinking away the tears threatening to erupt from her eyes. "For everything."

 

* * *

 

Now that her headache was almost all gone and she started to feel human again, she strolled into the mess hall and headed straight for the coffee pot. "Mornin'," she mumbled as she passed Joker and Zaeed, who were sitting at one of the tables. Zaeed was regaling Joker with his tales of heroics and survival over breakfast and the pilot was doing his best to look impressed.

"No offense, but you look like shit, Commander," Joker noted, taking the opportunity to interrupt Zaeed as he looked up and watched Shepard pour herself a cup of the blackest coffee she'd ever seen. She was never happier than now that she'd purchased some real beans back on the Citadel during their shopping trip; she shivered at the thought of having to drink the light brown slosh Gardner used to serve. "I heard about Kaidan," Joker continued. "You know, I can volunteer Grunt or Zaeed to punch him in the face next time we see him." He smirked at his own joke, then quickly added, "Not that you couldn't handle him. Of course, I'd be happy to do it, too, but then... it would be a little hard to fly the ship with a broken hand."

"Thanks, Joker, you're a real pal." Shepard rolled her eyes at him as she turned around and started towards the battery, inhaling the enticing aroma of the steaming liquid in her cup as she walked.

"Any time!" Joker yelled after her.

"Who's Kaidan?" Zaeed asked.

Joker shrugged. "Somebody we used to know and who turned from a friend into an asshole."

Shepard stopped for a moment in mid-stride, then continued on. She couldn't have agreed more with Joker's assessment.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, Garrus," Shepard said as she entered. He was standing by his console, plugging some numbers into an equation. She tried to decipher the expression on his face when he turned around to look at her. He seemed to be disturbed, and her stomach jumped into her throat as she started, "Sorry about last night. I was upset and—"

"No need to apologize," he interrupted her words, waving his hand dismissively. "I understand. I would have punched him if I had been in your shoes. Actually, I almost did," he smirked. "How do you feel now?"

"Other than having awakened feeling like a herd of elephants were stomping on my brain, I'm fine. So... EDI said you wanted to talk about something?" She walked over to the railing and leaned against it, sipping her coffee, relieved that she hadn't said or done something to endanger their friendship.

"Yeah. Remember Sidonis? The turian who betrayed me and my team? I've got a lead on him."

"You did?" She let out a disappointed sigh, her headache coming back in full force. This was not her lucky day. She'd hoped that Sidonis had managed to disappear forever and Garrus would eventually stop looking for him, giving up on his desire for revenge. But now here he was, pacing up and down like a caged animal, ready to bolt and track down his victim and tear him to shreds at the first opportunity he had. She didn't like to see him this way; this was not how she'd remembered him from their days together on the first _Normandy_. Omega and the events of the last two years had changed him, and she would have given anything to turn back the wheels of time. If she'd gotten to Joker faster... if she hadn't paused to look at the Reaper ship coming in for another attack... if she hadn't died... maybe none of this would have happened. But there was no time to dwell on the past at this moment; Garrus needed her now more than ever, so she listened to him rage about Lantar's betrayal and his need for justice. "What do you plan to do?" she finally asked, even though she knew what his answer was going to be.

"We'll find him, and I'll kill him," he said plainly. The lack of emotion in his voice scared her more than anything.

"Are you sure that that's what you want? It's not like you to kill somebody in cold blood."

"I'm sure. I've waited for this for a long time; he deserves to die." He stopped his pacing to look at her, and his heart clenched for a moment when he saw deep sadness and anxiety in her eyes. He knew she didn't approve of his plans; he could see it in her face and hear it in her voice. The thought that he might lose her respect and friendship tore him up inside, but this was something he had to do no matter the consequences. He sighed, hoping that there would still be enough of a bond left between them by the time this was all over, and went on, "Look, I don't need you to agree with me; just help me lure him out, and I'll deal with him."

"All right." She nodded in resignation then headed for the door. "Get ready and meet me at the dock in half an hour."

He watched her leave with a heavy heart. His blood was pumping with excitement over the prospect of finally extracting his revenge, but his stomach tightened into a hard knot at the thought of disappointing her and possibly losing her trust and friendship over this whole situation. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and calm his nerves, then went to his locker to retrieve his weapons.

 

* * *

 

As it turned out, they happened to be at the right place at the right time, for Sidonis had been given a new identity on the Citadel by Fade—their old "friend" Harkin's alias now that he ran a racketeering business. A couple of hours and dozens of dead mercs and destroyed mechs later they finally cornered Harkin and forced him to arrange a rendezvous with Sidonis.

They drove a cab to the designated place and Garrus took up position on the balcony.

"Are you sure about this, Garrus?" Shepard asked again in a last-ditch effort to change his mind. She couldn't bear the thought of letting him make a terrible mistake that would haunt him for the rest of his life. "Killing somebody in cold blood... is final; once it's done, you can't take it back."

"Who else will make this right?" he replied, more sharply than he'd intended. "Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else cares. My team is dead because of him, and the thought that he might walk away from this unscathed makes me sick."

"Okay." She sighed, finally realizing that there was nothing she could say or do to talk him out of this. She and Mordin took the car to the lower level, got out and started to walk towards the rendezvous point.

"Going to let Vakarian kill him?" Mordin asked in his typical detached way.

"I'm not sure. I want to talk to him first—find out about his side of the story," she replied as she scanned the area. She soon noticed a turian sitting on a bench who looked like he was nervously waiting for someone, and when he glanced in their direction, she waved him over. He quickly got up and hurried to their side, his posture tense and his eyes anxiously darting around, as if he was ready to bolt at any moment.

"Sidonis?" she asked.

"Don't ever say that name aloud," he whispered, looking around in a panic for anyone who might have heard.

_"You're in my shot. Move to the side,"_ Garrus's voice came rumbling over her headset, but she ignored him for now.

"I'm here to help you. I'm a friend of Garrus's," she said to Sidonis. "He wants to kill you, but I'm hoping we can avoid that."

_"Damn it, Shepard, what are you doing_?" Garrus growled in her ear, but she didn't answer.

"Garrus? Is this some kind of joke?" Sidonis searched her face, trying to determine if she was telling the truth. The last thing he'd expected when he'd agreed to meet Fade's contact was an ambush by his old comrade. Of course, there was a reason he was in hiding; he should have known (and, deep inside, he did) that one day Garrus would find him and collect on his debt. He just didn't expect it to be this day. The expression on this human woman's face was deadly serious, and it began to dawn on him that this was all too real and. He needed to get away from here immediately. He'd need a new name, a new identity, a new place to hide.

"Screw this," he said, "I'm out of here."

He turned around and started to walk away, but Shepard reached out and grabbed his arm before he could take a step. She knew that Garrus had them in his sight; she could feel his angry stare through the scope of his rifle, burning a hole in her skull right through to Sidonis's forehead. She was confident that he would not pull the trigger as long as she was blocking his shot, but still, she could only hope that he would not get an itchy trigger finger.

"Don't move unless you want to die," she hissed. "I'm the only thing between you and a bullet in your head."

"Fuck." Sidonis stopped and shook his head. "Look... I didn't want to do it, but I didn't have a choice. The mercs... they said they'd kill me if I didn't give them Archangel."

"So you saved your own skin and let your friends be slaughtered?" She didn't like what she was hearing; there was no real excuse for saving your own life at the expense of sacrificing everybody else's. For a second, she considered stepping aside and letting Garrus have his revenge, but decided against it. She still worried about what it would do to her friend down the road, so she kept steady and let Sidonis talk.

"I know what I did. I have to live with it for the rest of my life." He walked to the railing and leaned over it, as if he found it hard to hold himself up anymore without some kind of support. She followed him, still blocking Garrus's shot. "I can't eat, can't sleep—I see their faces every time I close my eyes. They're always staring at me, accusing me," he confessed, staring off into the distance, the faces of the dead floating across his vision. "I'm already a dead man. Some days I just want all this to be over."

_"Just give me the chance,"_ Garrus ground out through gritted teeth.

"You've got to let it go, Garrus. This isn't life; there's nothing left of him to kill. Look at him," Shepard gestured towards Sidonis, "he's already paying for his crime."

"Tell Garrus that I'm sorry. I know this doesn't make up for it, but I am... I am so sorry." He hung his head and sighed. "I wish I could change what happened; I wish I could go back and undo everything."

There was a long silence as she waited for Garrus to say something. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest, every second feeling like an hour until he finally grunted, choking out the words as if it took him all his strength to force out the sounds, _"Just... go. Tell him to go."_

"He's giving you a second chance, Sidonis. Don't waste it," she said.

He straightened up, the expression on his face a mixture of surprise and relief. "I'll try. I'll make it up to you, Garrus," he said out loud so that his old boss could hear it through the comm link. "Thank you for talking to him," he added in a voice meant just for her, looking gratefully into Shepard's eyes with a relieved tip of his head.

She nodded and watched him leave.

"Nice work," Mordin remarked as they headed back to the car. "Revenge never a good solution. Brings more problems later. Guilt, regret—emptiness."

"I hope Garrus will agree with you," she said, climbing into the driver's seat.

"Unlikely. Vakarian still sounded angry."

"That's not what I wanted to hear," she grunted as she waited for him to get in.

"Just stating the obvious. Better be prepared than go in with false expectations," Mordin shrugged as he leaned back in his seat, his gaze fixed ahead.

"Thanks a lot, Mordin," she glared at him then she shook her head and started up the car, bracing herself for her friend's wrath.

 

* * *

 

"I know you want to talk about this, but I don't. Not yet," Garrus said, his voice thick with suppressed anger, when they rejoined him on the balcony.

"I know this isn't how you planned it, but I think it's for the best."

"I'm not so sure." He had planned this for so long. He'd imagined the scenario every night for weeks, and now that he'd let Sidonis go, it felt like his one shot at justice had been stolen away. "I wanted to do right by my men; they deserve to be avenged."

"Killing Sidonis wouldn't have changed anything. As for justice, he's making his own life a living hell—even death would be better than to live like that. And," she put a hand on his arm, forcing him to look into her eyes, "I don't want you to end up like that. You might have had some satisfaction from killing him today, but down the road... I just don't want guilt to rip you apart, Garrus."

He stared at her, the warmth from her hand radiating through his armor right down to his bones, or so he imagined, and his breath got caught in his throat as he realized what she'd done for him—and how much she cared.

"Yeah," he finally said, swallowing hard, trying not to twitch a muscle in fear of losing that warm grip on his arm. "Thanks, Shepard. At least he didn't sell us out for money," he added, remembering Lantar's words. Things weren't as black and white as he'd thought, and he never would have found out his real reason for betraying him if not for Shepard's stubborn insistence on talking to him. "And there's still some good in him. I could see it."

"Maybe he'll do something with it in the future. Something to atone for what he's done."

"I hope so. Thanks, Shepard. For everything."

"Any time, Garrus," she smiled and lightly patted his arm before she removed her hand. "That's what friends are for."

His heart ached at the loss of her touch, but the brightness of her smile filled his chest with so much joy that he forgot about his pain in a second. "Let's get out of here," he grunted then he picked up his rifle and headed for the car. Mordin and Shepard followed him close behind, the salarian casting a knowing look at her and nodding his head in acknowledgement before he climbed in and settled down on the back seat.

They took the cab back to the Normandy, and when they arrived and got out, even their steps seemed to be lighter. Well, at least as far as Shepard and Garrus were concerned; Mordin was his old self, oblivious to his surroundings as he hurried off to his lab to bury himself in his research.

 


	6. I Will Survive

"You hungry?" Shepard glanced up at Garrus as they approached the elevator in the CIC. The tension between them was almost completely gone by now. All they needed was some food and a friendly chat and everything would be back to normal—at least, so she hoped.

"Yeah. I was so wound up about Sidonis that I couldn't eat in the morning," he replied with a drawl. He could definitely eat something now; the adrenaline had worn off and his stomach was starting to complain about him having skipped breakfast. "You?"

"I'm starving. Let's go grab a bite. Hopefully Gardner made something edible for lunch."

Of course, she should have known better; the day was not over and she hadn't suffered enough yet. "Commander, you've received some new messages," Kelly called after her just as she was about to push the elevator's call button.

Her shoulders sagged and she hung her head in defeat. This was definitely not her day. "Go on ahead. I'll join you in a minute," she said to Garrus, then she turned around and walked over to her terminal.

The Illusive Man had sent along the dossiers of a drell assassin and an asari justicar as two more possible team members to recruit. She wondered what the hell a justicar was and how exactly an assassin could help her fight the Collectors, but, if these two candidates were as good with their weapons and biotics as their folders suggested, then she would certainly welcome them on board. The information Cerberus had gathered suggested that both were on Illium at the moment, so she gave an order to Joker to head to Nos Astra as soon as they got clearance for departure from the Citadel.

According to what the Illusive Man had told her, Liara was on Illium as well, and—even though she was supposed to be working for the Shadow Broker now—Shepard was looking forward to meeting her old friend. Maybe she could convince her to join their cause. It would be nice to have one more friendly face on board—one more person she could trust.

She'd also received a number of requests for help from Cerberus (as if she didn't have enough to do already) and some correspondence from people they'd encountered during the last few weeks. She answered a couple of the messages until the loud growling of her stomach reminded her to finally pay a visit to the mess hall.

Though it was well after lunch time, a few people were still sitting at the tables. There was no sign of Garrus, however, so she asked Gardner if Vakarian had eaten yet. When he said no, she went to the fridge and picked out a levo and a dextro nutrition bar and two bottles of water, then headed to the main battery.

"I thought you were hungry," she said when she entered the room and found Garrus at his console as usual.

"I wanted to run some firing algorithms first." He shrugged his shoulders, punched in a few more numbers to let the computer start the calculations, then turned around to face her. Actually, he'd been waiting for her to finish dealing with her mail. He preferred having their meals together in the mess hall while they chatted—those quiet moments were something he looked forward to every day.

"Well, it's time for a break. I've brought some provisions," she said with a grin. She sat down on a crate by the wall, held up the nutrition bars and the water as incentives and motioned to the empty space next to her.

He walked over and settled down by her side, his shoulder slightly brushing against hers, then he took the food and drink from her gratefully. They sat in companionable silence for a while, munching on the bars and gulping down the cold liquid.

"So, do you feel better now?" she finally asked, casting a sideways glance at him as she took another sip of water.

"Yeah. Thank you for your help with Sidonis. Now I can finally put all that behind me." His voice was much calmer now; he was still unsure whether letting Sidonis go was the right thing to do, but the fact that his old friend hadn't betrayed them for money like he'd thought was enough of a relief to put his mind at ease and let him concentrate on other things from now on.

"Not that there will be no more stress—I'm sure that there's gonna be plenty of that on this mission," he continued, taking a bite of his Nutrino Bar. He never really liked these things, but they were quite convenient, especially when he didn't want to waste time on sitting down for a full meal. Considering Gardner's cooking skills, it wasn't a big loss anyway. His thoughts wandered off for a while, then he shrugged his shoulders and added, "Of course, if it was a turian ship it would be easier to deal with all the tension."

"Why, how do you deal with stress on turian ships?"

"With sparring, mostly. I remember there was this one mission–very risky. Nerves were frayed, and this recon scout and I had been at each other's throats for quite a while. She finally suggested that we settle it in the ring—supervised, of course."

"Did you kick her butt?" she asked with a smirk.

Her eyes glinted warmly in the soft lighting of the room. It was nice to see him peaceful and relaxed after everything he'd gone through. He seemed to have finally released the pent-up anger that he'd been holding in for such a long time, and she started to see the old Garrus emerge from behind the hardened shell that had formed around him in the last two years.

He chuckled and shook his head. "No, actually we had a tie. Both she and I were the top-ranked hand-to-hand specialists on the ship; I had reach, but she had flexibility. So after nine brutal rounds the judge called it a draw."

"Oh." She pondered his words for a while, trying to imagine the fight. It was hard to believe that somebody, even another top-ranked fighter, could survive nine rounds with him: she'd seen him in action on the battlefield and knew that he was as deadly with his fists as he was with his sniper rifle. Both he and that scout must have been exhausted by the end; maybe this whole sparring thing was a really good idea—get all that angry energy out and clear the air.

She nodded as she filed the information away in her brain, then asked, curious to find out how effective this strategy really was, "And did the sparring help?"

"Not really, but something else did. We ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters," he explained, then added with a smirk as he finished his drink, "There's more than one way to blow off stress."

There was a moment of silence and he glanced at her, trying to gauge her reaction. He wasn't sure why he'd told her this story; it had been a long time since he'd last thought about that night. Maybe the pressures of Omega, Sidonis, and this mission were starting to get to him. Maybe he wished humans ran their ships the same way as turians did. At least... in this regard. Her proximity, as they were sitting together on the crate, certainly didn't help. Every time her arm brushed against his he felt a jolt of electricity surge through his veins and he had to make a conscious effort to quiet his racing heart and convince his plates to stay closed.

She looked back at him, a bit surprised, not sure if he was pulling her leg, but when their eyes met, his intense blue boring into her sparkling green, she realized that he'd meant every word.

She couldn't even remember when it was that she'd stopped thinking of him as a member of another species—he'd become a trusted comrade and a friend a long time ago—but she'd never really thought about the fact that he was also a man, with desires and needs just like anybody else. Her gaze raked over his body from his head to his toes and she had to admit that he was one of the best looking members of his species she'd ever met; even with the scarring of the right side of his face he was quite handsome. She'd never considered an inter-species relationship before, but she wondered now how it would feel to be touched by his strong three-fingered hands not for the sake of administering some medi-gel or adjusting the clasps of her armor, but to caress her skin and pull her into his embrace.

She lifted her eyes and, much to her embarrassment, found that he was watching her intently, and she had to bite the inside of her cheeks in a futile attempt to stop the blood from rushing to her face to paint it red.

She swallowed hard and was about to say something witty to deflect the attention from her burning cheeks, hoping that his damn visor wasn't betraying her elevated heart rate and body temperature, when Joker's voice broke in over the intercom.

"Commander, you might want to check on Jack and Miranda. There are plates and bowls flying in the mess hall."

She was half relieved, half annoyed at the interruption, and she cast an apologetic look at Garrus as she answered the pilot, "I'll be right there."

"Damnit. I swear, dealing with those two is like herding cats." She got up and patted him on his shoulder. "Don't work too late."

He nodded and watched her leave, wondering whether their little talk had anything to do with her vitals suddenly being off the charts, then slowly stood up and threw the empty bottle in the trash chute.

 

* * *

 

After breaking up the fight between the two raging lunatics and ordering them to stay the hell away from each other, she had a nice chat with Mordin, then she went back to the CIC and was just about to start studying the galaxy map to plan their next run of planet-scanning for resources when the yeoman informed her that she'd received a personal message at her private terminal.

She took the elevator to her cabin, sat down at her desk and turned on her computer.

Her heart skipped a beat when she saw that the message had come from Kaidan; she imagined that he was going to apologize for his behavior on Horizon. As she started to read his missive, however, the smile on her face soon evaporated and gave way to a frown, then a scowl, and by the time she reached the end of the letter she was positively fuming.

She scanned the note one more time in the foolish hope that she'd read it all wrong, but the words still burnt just as much as the first time.

_...I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy._

_...I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know?_

_... I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me... maybe it meant as much to you._

_...When things settle down a little... maybe... I don't know..._

She stared at the screen, her cheeks flushed and her jaws clenched in anger, and she had to take a few deep breaths to try to calm herself. As she sat in her chair, her nails digging into the palms of her hands, a sudden, nagging feeling came over her; it was as though somebody was watching her. She looked around her room and noticed Kaidan's picture in the corner, glaring at her, accusing her, taunting her. She jumped up, hurried over to the desk she had placed the picture on, picked up the frame, and slammed it face-down.

Feeling somewhat better, she sat back down at her computer, let out a frustrated sigh and started to type.

_Kaidan,_

_I'm sorry that seeing me alive on Horizon was such a shock, but how do you think it was for me? I_ ** _died_** , _Kaidan. I didn't spend the last two years cooling my heels in a tropical resort. I did not ask to be brought back to life. But now that I'm back, I can't just ignore the desperate situation of the colonists and the fact that the Collectors are working with the Reapers. Something has to be done, and if Cerberus is the only organization willing to step up to the plate then damn right I'll work with them._

_How can you ask me if I remember the night before Ilos? How dare you question how much it meant to me? You say you're sorry about the things you said on Horizon, but then you go on and insult me again._

_So you moved on. Fine, I understand. But then don't drag the carrot in front of my nose, hinting at the possibility of getting together again... maybe. If I'm a good girl._

_But since you've moved on, I'm sure you won't mind if I do the same._

_Shepard_

She sat there, her finger hovering over the _Send_ button. Her heart kept telling her to go ahead and push it, but her brain wouldn't let her. What good would it do? It was clear that he would not listen to reason, and she really didn't want to get into an ongoing argument about all this. If he was not willing to trust her, then what was the point? His mind seemed to be already made up and she didn't need another message from him telling her what a traitor and liar she was.

She shook her head and deleted his message along with her response. One day, they'd discuss this—in person. And if he was half the man she'd thought he was, then he'd finally understand and come to regret those words. One day.

Until then, it really _was_ time to look for someone with whom she could move on instead of wasting time and energy on somebody who didn't think twice about plunging a knife in her heart and twisting it hard for good measure. She needed someone who knew her better than to think that she could ever betray the Alliance or her friends (not to mention her own morals and beliefs); someone who trusted her, believed in her and who would stand by her side no matter what. Someone... like Garrus.


	7. I Can't Stop Thinking About You

Illium was still a couple of hours away, so she tried to occupy herself with studying the latest planetary survey data from their scans and working on some mission reports, but her mind kept wandering off. After the tenth time of reading the same line over and over again without any of the words actually registering in her brain she finally gave up and pushed the datapad aside.

She stood up, stretched her back, and slowly strolled over to the fish tank. She hoped that the graceful movements of her silent pets would have the same calming effect on her furiously racing mind as they always did, but this time not even the soothing blue of the water and the delicate ballet of translucent fins and tails could distract her from her obsessive thoughts about a certain charming turian.

After a few minutes of aimlessly staring at, but not really seeing, the delightful scene in front of her, she finally admitted defeat. She began to pace along the aquarium, as if mimicking the persistent patrol of her colorful fish on the other side of the glass, and decided to concentrate her thoughts on the topic that had ruthlessly pushed every other issue aside. She liked Garrus. She liked him a lot. He was honest, loyal, trustworthy, with a wicked sense of humor, and she knew that she could always count on him. There was just something about him that drew her in and made her seek him out as often as she could for companionship, advice, or a laugh. And now, after his little story about blowing off steam, she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Pictures of Garrus making passionate love to the turian scout kept flashing up in her mind, no matter how hard she tried to suppress those thoughts, and she realized (as irrational as it was) that she felt a pang of jealousy towards that woman. It was crazy, she knew it, but she couldn't help it, and she wondered whether he had ever had a non-turian lover (an asari, maybe), and... if he would be interested in other inter-species relationships. Maybe... with a human.

 _'I must be out of my mind. I don't even know if that would work between us,'_ she thought, coming to an abrupt stop as she rubbed her forehead in exasperation. Turian anatomy and mating customs weren't something she'd paid much attention to in the past, but she couldn't help speculating now how they might look underneath all that fabric and metal that always seemed to cover their bodies. For a brief moment she contemplated doing an extranet search on the topic (she should know more about the physiology of her teammates _,_ she tried to justify the idea to herself), but she felt like a damn Peeping Tom for even considering doing something like that.

Eventually, she decided that she just couldn't have these kinds of thoughts about her friend and subordinate, and gave a strict order to herself to stop obsessing about this whole thing. Just in case her mind refused to cooperate (she'd always been a rebel, after all), she left her quarters and took her rounds around the ship, requesting progress reports from the crew and making small talk with a few of them in an effort to knock some sense back into her distracted brain.

She'd never been this anxious to get off the ship and shoot someone and she wished that, instead of visiting a supposedly civilized place like Nos Astra, they could go on a mission on some godforsaken planet to fight some bloody mercs or even some geth. Still, it was a relief when they finally landed on Illium and she had to concentrate on making some preparations to get ready for their trip to the city. She decided to take Jack and Garrus with her; after the fight in the mess hall she wanted to keep a close eye on Jack, not trusting that she wouldn't do something stupid while they were gone, and figured that Garrus would like to see Liara—his presence might even be helpful in convincing her to join them on board.

When they arrived in Nos Astra, she was pleasantly surprised to find that Liara was already waiting for them. Their meeting, however, didn't exactly go as planned, no matter how glad Liara was to see them. It was nice to catch up with their old friend, though the fact that she'd changed so much during the last two years was yet another painful reminder of how much more Shepard had lost than her life when the first _Normandy_ had gone down over Alchera. There was a new kind of hardness and self-confidence to the young asari which she hadn't seen before and could have really used on their mission but, just like Tali, Liara had other commitments now, and declined to join their crew. She did, however, give them some useful information about Thane and Samara and it was nice to know that, contrary to what the Illusive Man had said, they could still trust her.

They found out that both Thane Krios and Samara were indeed on Illium, Samara having registered with Tracking Officer Dara, and Krios having contacted a woman called Seryna in the cargo transfer levels.

"The assassin might be targeting a corporate executive called Nassana Dantius," Liara offered without hesitation when asked about the drell.

"How do you know all this?" Shepard drew her eyebrows into a puzzled frown. It was unlikely that Krios would advertise the fact that he was after someone, let alone who the target was.

"Shepard, I'm an information broker—a very good one at that."

"No kidding." The commander shook her head in amazed acknowledgement; no wonder Liara had done so well in this new business of hers. "Well, thanks for your help." She got up, disappointed that her old friend wasn't going to join them, but grateful for the intel nonetheless. "It was good to see you."

"Good to see you too, Shepard. And you, Garrus," Liara smiled at the turian. He nodded his head in return. "Come back whenever you can."

 

* * *

 

They took a rapid transit cab to the cargo transfer area and found a young asari sitting at a computer in the shipping office, absorbed in typing up some contract—no doubt with a myriad of carefully disguised clauses that only a highly trained corporate lawyer could decipher.

"Seryna?" Shepard asked as they stopped on the other side of her desk.

The clerk glanced up, then returned her attention to her work. "No. She's already gone home; she'll be back in the morning."

"Damn. I didn't realize it was that late," Shepard groaned as she brought up her omni-tool's interface to check the local time. "I guess we'll have to come back tomorrow then. Let's get back to the ship," she said, turning to her teammates. "I wouldn't mind having some dinner right now."

"As long as we're here, could we go and get some real food in a local joint instead? I'm really not in the mood for Gardner's grub," Jack grumbled, trying to put on her best puppy-eyed look. She hoped that Shepard had forgotten about the little incident in the mess hall earlier in the day (or at least she wasn't mad enough about it to deny her this small perk that sometimes came with docking at an actual city or space station instead of some merc-infested hellhole).

"Fine." Shepard shrugged and searched for a map on her omni-tool that would list the locations of the restaurants that served both dextro and levo meals. "Seems like there's an "Orana's" pretty close by. It says here that it caters to many different species on Illium. I could go for a burger, to be honest. I hope they have something like that."

"What's a burger?" Garrus asked as they headed to the restaurant.

"It's a juicy grilled meat between two pieces of a bun with lettuce and tomatoes and—"

"Shut up, Shepard, you're making me hungry," Jack growled.

"Isn't that why we're going to get something to eat?"

"Yeah, but if they only have some stupid, tasteless crap after you've put me in the mood for a burger, I'll kill you."

 

* * *

 

Orana's turned out to be a pretty decent place after all; they did serve burgers and seret, a turian dish with chunks of meat and some colorful vegetables.

They got a booth in a corner. Shepard and Garrus took a seat on one side of the table and Jack on the other, and when the waiter put their plates, piled high with their mouth-watering fare in front of them, they attacked their food enthusiastically.

"What the hell's that disgusting thing?" Garrus asked, nodding towards the ketchup Shepard had just dunked one of her fries in while he skewered a piece of meat on his fork and stuffed it in his mouth. "It looks like congealed human blood."

"Eww! Thanks for ruining a great meal, Vakarian!" Jack glared at him, but Shepard just chuckled.

"Ketchup. It's a sauce made out of tomatoes and some other stuff. I'm sure it tastes much better than that... _thing_ you're having." She flashed him an innocent grin. "Want some?"

"No, thanks. I'd like to get out of here alive."

Shepard laughed as she reached for her glass to take a sip of her water at the same time as Garrus grabbed the bottle of hot sauce in front of his plate, and their arms brushed against each other for a moment. She glanced at him with a blush, wondering if he'd noticed the brief contact, then quickly diverted her gaze back to her drink and brought the glass to her lips with a shaky hand.

Garrus seemed to stiffen in his seat for a second, but he quickly recovered and shook the bottle upside down over his plate, trying to pour the seasoning on his food. Nothing came out of it, however, and he looked around with an aggravated sigh, trying to find a waiter to flag down. The place was nearly deserted, though, with no server in sight (apparently they'd chosen an off-hours time to have their meal—which was just fine with them), so he got up with a grumble and went in search of another bottle.

Shepard watched him move around the room with his usual predatory precision and confidence. She couldn't resist raking her eyes over his body, lingering on his broad shoulders and slim waist, mesmerized by the sight and all but forgetting about Jack—until she heard her snort.

"Oh. My. God," Jack said, leaning forward with a huge grin on her face. "You've got the hots for him!"

"What?!" Shepard's head snapped back, her eyebrows knitting into an indignant frown as she glowered at the annoying young woman. "You're crazy."

"Right," Jack rolled her eyes. "That's why I saw you checking out his ass."

"No, I wasn't! I was just... looking around."

"Whatever. Not like I give a shit. Besides, he's not bad looking for a turian. And I think he likes you, too."

"You think?" Shepard's features instantly softened at this bit of information and she cast a hopeful look in Garrus's direction.

"Yeah," Jack shrugged as she took a bite of her burger. "So why don't you invite him up to your cabin for some good fu—"

"Jack!" Shepard barked at her, but it was too late. Garrus was already back.

He stopped at the table with his prize in his hand, looking from one woman to the other. He wondered why Jack was grinning at him with a self-satisfied look on her face while Shepard sat there, almost as red as that disgusting thing—ketchup, or whatever she'd called it— avoiding his eyes and staring at her plate. And who the hell was she supposed to invite up to her cabin? Was it Jacob, or maybe Donnelly from engineering? He was pretty sure it wasn't Joker—he'd never seen any sign of romantic interest between the two of them. Joking and teasing, yes, but flirting? He didn't think so. Of course, what did he know? It wasn't like he was an expert on human mating rituals.

His racing thoughts put him in a worse and worse mood. By the time he sat back down, he was positively brooding. He poured some of his arduously acquired hot sauce on his seret, then just about slammed the bottle down on the table.

"What the fuck's your problem?" Jack raised her eyebrows at him then proceeded to shove some fries in her mouth.

"Nothing," he grunted.

"You okay?" Shepard asked, casting a concerned glance at him. She wondered what the hell had happened to make him so mad.

"I'm fine," he said as he stabbed a piece of vegetable on his plate with barely contained anger.

They finished their meal in silence, then took the shuttle back to the _Normandy_.

 

* * *

 

By the time they got back to the ship, it was getting late, so they all decided to turn in for the night. Jack went down to engineering, Garrus retreated to the main battery and Shepard took the elevator up to her cabin.

After a hot shower, she climbed into bed in her sleep shorts and tank top, turned off the lights, and collapsed on her pillow with an exhausted sigh. It had been a hard day and she hoped that sleep would claim her quickly, but as soon as her body started to relax and her breathing began to get slower, her obsessive thoughts about Garrus, which she had managed to relegate to the deepest recesses of her brain during the last couple of hours, escaped their confinement and resurfaced again.

Her stomach trembled as she remembered their arms brushing against each other over dinner and she wondered if Jack was right. Did he really like her? Of course, she knew he liked her as a friend, but did he ever think about her the way she was thinking about him now?

 _'Probably not,'_ she murmured to herself, almost dejected at his imaginary rejection. She turned onto her side, took a few deep breaths, and tried to chase away these distracting thoughts and keep them out of her mind long enough to allow her to go to sleep.

The darkness and the silence of her room enveloped her body and soul, but it didn't help: she kept seeing his piercing blue eyes behind her closed eyelids and could hear his rich voice and rumbling laughter as if he was right there with her. In fact, she wished he was; she longed for him to touch her, caress her, make her feel alive.

She reached out and grabbed the extra pillow from the other side of the bed and pulled it close to her body, cradling it in her arms, but it was no substitute for the real, skin-tingling physical contact she was craving so much at this moment, and her thoughts drifted off to Garrus again.

 _'God_ , _I could really use some of that... 'blowing off steam' thing he talked about. Maybe I should ask him if he'd like to try that with me.'_ She snorted at the mental picture of Garrus's stunned expression as she propositioned him, standing in front of him with her hand resting on her hip jutting out seductively, batting her eyelashes and trying to look as alluring and desirable as she could possibly manage.

 _'He'd probably think I was out of my mind.'_ She rolled her eyes and shook her head at the stupidity of her obsession, then turned on her other side with a sigh.

Maybe if she thought about something else to divert her attention from these useless ideas, she would finally be able to get to sleep. She started to mentally list the names of her instructors from the Academy, the mindless chanting slowly numbing her brain and relaxing her breathing.

 _'Winthrop, Johnson, Kusinov, Marquez, Horvath... What if Jack was right, and he actually likes me "that way"? What if he_ 's _actually interested?—Oh dammit. Here I go again.'_ She looked at the clock on her nightstand with a groan. It was well past midnight. This was not working; nothing seemed to get Garrus out of her mind, and she finally realized that she needed to do something about it.

She sat up with an exasperated sigh, shook her head in quiet irritation at herself, then got out of bed and began to search for her sweatpants in the dark. There was no escape: she needed to talk to Garrus right now.


	8. You and Me

Everything was dark and quiet in the battery when the doors closed behind her with a hiss and she took a tentative step forward, letting her eyes adjust to the low level of light. The place was strangely empty and cold without Garrus standing there at his usual spot, fiddling with the calibration of the ship's cannons—a never-ending project, it seemed.

He was most likely asleep by now; what the hell was she thinking? She mentally berated herself for being so impulsive, and was about to turn around and slink out when her well-trained ears picked up the faint noise of a gun being cocked somewhere in the far corner of the room. Did Garrus think that somebody was here to murder him? On _her_ ship? Of course, this being a Cerberus operation, he probably had every right to be suspicious-or maybe his time on Omega had made him a little more jumpy than he used to be.

Either way, she didn't fancy getting shot in the dark, so she called out, "Garrus? Are you awake?" _'No, he's getting ready to shoot someone in his sleep,'_ she silently groaned at herself. She slowly crept closer, hoping that he was awake _enough_ to control his trigger finger.

"Shepard?" He uncocked the gun and put it back under his cot, relieved that it was her, but confused by her sudden appearance at this hour. "Are you okay?" He raised himself up on an elbow into a half-sitting position as he watched her carefully approach his sleeping area in the dark.

"I'm fine. Sorry if I woke you up," she replied in a low voice, almost a whisper, as she stopped in front of his cot.

"No, I wasn't asleep yet." After a restless night followed by a physically and emotionally exhausting day, he should have gone to sleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow, but he'd been lying there in his bed the whole time, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about her. The last twenty-four hours had been like one of those roller coaster rides humans seemed to like so much. Just when he'd started to finally relax and have some fun with her, hoping that maybe now that Kaidan was out of the picture, he would finally have a chance (once he'd mustered up enough courage) to tell her how he felt, Jack just had to go and ruin it all with her comment about that mystery man. Her words kept ringing in his head, and he'd been obsessively trying to figure out who the tattooed lunatic could have referred to during their dinner on Nos Astra. The thought of Shepard in somebody else's arms made his blood boil and his stomach tie into a hard knot, but now that she was here, in his room, he hoped that maybe it wasn't too late; maybe there was still a chance—

"Can we talk?" she asked, interrupting his thoughts. He scooted closer to the wall to make room for her on his wide bed to sit down, gesturing at an empty spot in silent invitation.

She settled down on the edge, cast a sideways glance at him, then turned her head away, avoiding his eyes, and began the speech she knew she should have practiced before even setting foot in his lair.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, but—I've been thinking... and I couldn't sleep, and, ah, you know, wanted to talk—"

He'd never seen her like this before; even in the face of certain death she'd always been cool and confident, almost to the point of cockiness, and he couldn't even begin to imagine (or rather, he didn't want to) what could have happened to make her so nervous that her voice would tremble and her hands would fiddle with the hem of her shirt like that. Panic flooded every inch of his body, and he burst out, ready to jump up and kill whoever did something to her to make her feel this way, "Is something wrong? Did somebody hurt you?"

"What?" Her head snapped back to him and her eyes went wide for a moment, then she shook her head emphatically. "No! There's nothing wrong. Not really... Please, Garrus," she pleaded, turning away again and dipping her head, her voice dropping so low that even his sensitive ears had a bit of a trouble picking out her words, "just... don't say anything, okay? Let me talk, or else... I might lose my nerve."

He nodded, following her directions to keep silent, and waited for her to continue.

"Remember when you told me about, umm, blowing off steam with that scout?—Of course you remember; it was just a few hours ago," she added in a fast mumble, irritated with herself beyond belief. _'Real smooth, Shepard. Real smooth.'_ She sighed, then took a deep breath and went on. "Well, I've been thinking... you know... there's so much stress with this mission, and I wondered... how you'd feel about, umm, we could try, you and I, I don't know if it would work, but maybe... we could ease tension... together." By the time she finished, her voice was almost as shaky as her hands, and she swallowed hard, all of a sudden acutely aware of the stunned silence around her. She bit her lower lip and squeezed her eyes shut for a second, wishing that she could just disappear right now, then stood up in a hurry and quickly headed for the door in a desperate attempt to save the last shreds of her dignity.

"You're probably not interested. I'm sorry I've bothered you, Garrus. Please... just forget what I've said."

"Shepard." His deep, silky voice reached after her, wrapping her in a warm cocoon and holding her tight, and she slowly turned around to look at him. He lifted the blanket and held it open, then uttered the most beautiful words she'd ever heard, "I'm interested."

She stared at him for a few seconds, afraid that he was just pulling her leg and would lower his arm with a teasing laugh at any second, but he kept still. Even in the dim light she could see his eyes boring into hers, beckoning her and pulling her in. Her heart thudded loudly in her chest, and she took a few shaky steps, as if in a trance, until she was standing by the side of his bed. Her gaze fell on his form, softly illuminated by the dim orange glow emanating from the middle of the room, and she realized that for the first time since she'd known him, he was not wearing his armor or his undersuit—in fact, it seemed like he was not wearing anything at all.

There was suddenly a lump in her throat she had to swallow past as her eyes wandered along his upper body, taking in his wiry muscles and the hardened plates protecting his vital organs.

"You're overdressed, Shepard," his voice rumbled warmly in encouragement. She chuckled nervously, then she removed her shoes and started to pull her sweatpants off.

She stopped when she was down to her sleep shorts and tank top and glanced at him, wondering if he was wearing anything under the blanket, and whether she would seem too anxious if she stripped all the way down.

He had removed his visor before he'd gone to bed, but even without it he could see her hesitation, so he purred, his subharmonics vibrating seductively, "Take everything off."

Her blood rushed to her face and her knees almost buckled at the promise of what those three simple words entailed, and she slipped out of the rest of her clothes then quickly slid under the blanket, which he was still holding open for her. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, covering both of them with the soft fabric, and he gently pressed his forehead against hers. She was finally here with him, in his arms, and nobody in the world could take this away from him.

He pulled back a little, just enough to be able to look into her face and touch it, and ran a shaky thumb over her cheekbone and jaw line. Her skin felt incredibly smooth and soft; it made him wonder if it was like that everywhere on her body or if she had some rougher patches here and there. He moved his hand down her throat and her clavicle (he really liked this part; he could feel the hard bones under his fingertips, reminding him of turians' cowls, though in a much smaller version), then he continued on to her shoulder and her back. Wherever his hand traveled, he could feel hard bones and tight muscles under her silky skin, but he encountered no rough spots. He wondered how her species had survived without some kind of natural protection, but when he reached the wonderful dip in her waist and the curve of her hip he couldn't care less anymore.

She explored his body with the same attention to detail, running her inquisitive fingers over his carapace and muscular arms as she traced the edges of his plates and lingered over the soft and leathery skin between them. Her breathing hitched when his strong hand slid down to her backside and squeezed her flesh; he seemed to like it a lot, for he released his hold and squeezed again and again, each squeeze a little longer and harder than the last one.

They were on their sides, facing each other, but she pushed him over now and climbed on top of him, straddling his waist, and leaned down to press her mouth to his. She traced his mouth plates with her tongue, and whispered, "Open your mouth a little." When he did, she pushed in, mindful of his teeth, in search of his tongue.

His eyes went wide for a second, then closed, just like hers, as he gave himself over to this new sensation. He'd always wondered why humans did this, but now he could fully understand how intimate and amazingly warm this gesture was. He reciprocated the kiss as much as he could, putting his arms around her, pulling her closer as his tongue slid against hers.

Their lips separated and she trailed that wonderful, soft, moist mouth of hers over his cheek plates and mandibles with hot little kisses, and when her tongue started to drag over the skin of his neck and trace the valleys between his hard plates, his chest began to rumble and his shaft slid free of its confinement.

She almost forgot to breathe for a moment when she felt his erection against her body; she sat up and braced herself on his cowl, then commenced to rock back and forth, rubbing her groin against his plates. She couldn't have been happier with his reaction: he groaned and bucked his hips up into hers as he grabbed her waist and squeezed it tightly. She liked that, but she wanted more, so she took his hands in her own, guided them to her breasts and showed him how to cup and massage them. _'Squishy—but nice,'_ he thought as he gently squeezed her flesh, and was surprised to find two little buds in their center that seemed to harden when he drew his talons over them. She shivered and threw her head back in the most delightful way at that, letting out a wonderfully lustful moan, and he decided that he really loved this part of her anatomy.

He suddenly flipped them over and now she was on her back, waiting with bated breath for his next move. He didn't disappoint: he bent down and slowly dragged his tongue over her breast. Her skin prickled with goose bumps when he grazed it with his teeth; she knew he could do serious damage if he wasn't careful, but he didn't even nick her, and the thought of his carefully restrained power turned her on with so much force that she had to squeeze her legs tight to control the throbbing in her groin.

As if he'd noticed her predicament and wanted to push her even further down the path of losing her self-control, he reached down and parted her legs to palm the junction between them, then pressed a finger in between her folds. She couldn't hold back the moan that loudly escaped her throat, and the purring sound that he emitted proved that he liked that— liked that quite a lot. He nibbled her ear and neck while he explored her, dipping his finger into her wetness and spreading it around in circles, brushing against the little nub that he found. He relished the way her body shuddered and her breathing rose and fell with every stroke.

"I want you, Garrus," she groaned, almost regretting her words when he stopped his ministrations and removed his finger. The next moment, however, he was above her, his large body looming over her own as he held himself up on his elbows and settled down between her legs. She could feel his hard shaft pressing against her seam; her heart raced and her stomach clenched in a nervous quiver as she prepared for what was about to happen. So far everything went well, much better in fact than she'd hoped, but she had no idea if they were compatible... in that department. When he pressed in, however, all her doubts disappeared in a second; despite their physical differences, he filled her completely, and in fact, he filled her better than anybody else she'd ever been with. As he slowly withdrew almost all the way then pushed back in, again and again, she could feel some ridges along his length, brushing against all the right spots inside her, building up the heat in her lower belly so fast that, if he kept this up, he would take her over the edge in no time.

He must have felt the same, because he moaned with each push, muttering little things in her ear that her translator could barely pick up.

Even if this had turned out to be the most unsatisfying sex of his whole life, he still would have been happy to be with _her_ , but this... this was nothing short of amazing. She felt absolutely wonderful, her hot, tight channel clamping down on him and drawing him in with every push, her nimble little fingers running up and down his back, raking a path between his plates, and her moist lips trailing hot kisses along his mandibles, his cowl, his neck—anywhere she could reach. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, nuzzling her ear and nipping at her shoulder as he moved in and out in a fluid motion, trying to make it last as long as he could.

She rolled her hips against his, and they soon picked up the pace, rocking and pumping harder and harder, until she couldn't see or feel anything else but him and his shaft inside her, and soon her world exploded into a white, hot flash of stars as her inner muscles started to convulse around him. He kept pistoning in and out, helping her ride out her orgasm, and when she finally went limp, he slowed his movements down a bit, only to gradually increase his tempo again. The insistent rubbing of his plate ridges at his base against her clitoris sent incredible sparks of electricity throughout her body, branching out from her groin to her stomach and beyond, and she could feel that sweet ache in her lower belly start to build up again. He'd speed up only to slow down, he'd thrust in harder only to ease up again, pushing her closer and closer to the precipice but pulling her back before she'd reach it. The tension in her groin was getting more and more intense and her breathing got more and more ragged with each change of his rhythm and each swapping of his strokes.

Her fingers raked over the back of his neck, eliciting a deep rumble in his chest, then traveled down his strong arms and his back, and came to rest on his slim waist. She dug her nails in the sensitive skin she found there, and he pumped harder for a while, but slowed down again before she could go over the edge.

When she finally whimpered his name, her voice desperate with need, he grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist, then started to push and slam and pound into her until she came with a cry, her whole body shaking and her inner muscles spasming around his shaft in the biggest, most forceful orgasm of her life, and he soon followed her with a loud groan and a few more erratic pumps, spilling his seed inside her in a hot rush.

He collapsed on his elbows over her, careful not to crush her with his heavy weight, and waited, panting, until his heart calmed down and his shaft receded.

She stared up into his eyes and reached up to stroke his fringe, then lifted her head to plant a happy kiss on his mouth.

"That was... incredible," she whispered, not quite trusting her voice just yet.

"Yes, it was," he purred and rolled off her, pulling her into his side as he settled back down on his pillow.

They lay together in a limp tangle of arms and legs, her head on his shoulder, while she traced little circles on the plates of his carapace and he stroked her arm with his free hand.

"I could really go to sleep right now," she said, and added with a wistful sigh, "but I should get back to my cabin soon."

"Mmm," he murmured, getting sleepy himself, "Too bad. I wish you could stay."

"Me, too." They were quiet for a while, only their slow breathing filling the silence of the room, until she drawled, "Am I there yet?"

"I don't think so," he chuckled as he affectionately rubbed his chin against the top of her head.

"Next time, _you_ come to _my_ place," she said contentedly, fighting the urge to doze off before she could muster enough energy to get dressed and drag herself back up to her room and collapse on her own bed. She was certain she would go to sleep in an instant now.

_'Next time. She said next time.'_ The thought that she wanted to repeat this filled his chest with so much joy that he could barely contain it. He took a deep breath to control his voice, then replied, as casually as he could, "Deal."


	9. Morning Jitters

It was almost 2:00 in the morning by the time Shepard got back to her quarters. She'd tried to leave the battery earlier, even though it wasn't easy to give up the warm comfort of Garrus's embrace, but he'd pulled her back for another round, and then one more "for the road".

She couldn't stop smiling as she cleaned herself up in the bathroom then climbed into bed, remembering how, despite his hard plates and sharp lines, she'd found that she could snuggle in close enough to press herself against his soft, leathery hide and soak up the heat radiating from his body, and how he'd held her in his arms, stroking her hair, her back, her side, his hand returning to the curve of her waist over and over again. He'd made her feel beautiful and desirable in spite of the scars still left over from her brush with death and Miranda's rebuilding efforts; he didn't treat her like a freak, or worse, a puppet whose only purpose for living was to do the bidding of a terrorist organization—and for that alone she was eternally grateful.

She closed her eyes with a contented sigh and fell asleep instantly, and for the first time since she'd awoken in that cold and sterile lab and come on board to save humanity (and the whole galaxy, for that matter) once again, she slept soundly, without waking up every hour in a cold sweat, gasping for air in the lonely darkness of her room.

It was the incessant buzzing of her alarm clock that woke her up the next morning. As she reached over to slap the button and reclaim the peaceful quiet around her, she realized, with a bit of a mild shock, that she'd actually slept through the night (or rather, what was left of it after her little escapade with Garrus). She couldn't even remember the last time that she'd slept so well; it was probably when she was still a child, and certainly before she'd ever enlisted in the military.

_'This 'blowing off steam with Garrus' thing was the best idea I've ever had,'_ she thought with a happy little chuckle as the memories of the previous night's events resurfaced in her mind. She wasn't really sure what exactly it was that she'd expected when she'd gone down to talk to him in the battery, but it certainly wasn't anything nearly as wonderful as what had actually transpired after her little speech. She'd had no idea that they would be so compatible, or that he would be so passionate and gentle at the same time. Just thinking about his touch made her groin throb with delicious heat, and she wished—

"Commander? Do you need medical assistance?" EDI's disembodied voice shattered the pleasant silence of the room, startling Shepard out of her thoughts and the bliss she'd been floating in as she lay in her bed, curled up under the blanket.

"EDI?" she groaned, wishing (not for the first time, and surely not for the last either) that, if Cerberus absolutely had to install an AI on board the _Normandy_ , it was a less intrusive one. "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"Your alarm clock went off five minutes ago, but you have not arisen. My analysis of the situation, compounded by the elevated readings of your life signs, indicated that the probable cause was a medical emergency."

"Everything's fine. I'm just... a little late today. No need to worry."

"Of course, Commander. Logging you out."

"Wait. EDI?" Shepard suddenly sat up as a troubling thought popped up in her brain.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Umm... Do you have any readings or recordings or whatever about, uh, the goings on in the main battery last night?"

"Do you mean your private activities with Officer Vakarian?"

"Yeah. That." Shepard moaned, burying her flushed face in her hands.

"Yes, Commander. Do you wish to add the files to the official records?"

"No! Absolutely not! Delete them immediately—I don't want any trace of them left, not even in your own memory banks. Is that understood?"

"As you wish, Commander. Anything else?"

"That will be all. No, wait!" She rubbed her temples in exasperation as another disturbing thought occurred to her. What about Zaeed and the surveillance monitor in his room? Or, even worse, Joker? "Has anybody seen the... umm... data?"

"No. Personal files connected to the captain of the ship are restricted and cannot be accessed without the captain's explicit permission. Your time with Officer Vakarian seemed to fall under this category, so I scrambled the video feed on all available channels except the one used for recording classified data."

"Good." Maybe EDI wasn't so bad after all; she could certainly hug her now if she was a human. "That will be all."

"Logging you out."

Shepard shook her head, making a mental note to find a way to turn off those damn bugs and surveillance cameras, then she threw her legs over the edge of her bed and finally got up. She stretched, loosening the stiff muscles in her shoulders and back ( _'A small price to pay for having slept like a log,'_ she thought to herself with a satisfied smirk), then headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

 

* * *

 

It took a while for Garrus to fall asleep after Shepard had left, for he couldn't stop thinking about her, but once he'd dozed off he was dead to the world and didn't wake up until his omni-tool sounded its usual early morning alarm. As soon as he opened his eyes and sat up on his cot, she was on his mind again, and he couldn't hold back the happy grin that spread across his face when the memories of the previous night flooded his brain.

He loved her smooth skin, the dip of her waist, those squishy things on her chest that seemed so sensitive to his touch, her sweet kiss—everything about her was so much better than he ever could have imagined. Despite their physical differences they fit together amazingly well, and if the little moaning sounds she'd made while he was making love to her were anything to go by, she must have enjoyed their time together as much as he did.

He wondered now if he should have told her about the many sleepless nights he'd spent thinking about her; he'd almost let it slip a couple of times while he was holding her in his arms, but every time he opened his mouth, the words got stuck in his throat. He was ecstatic that she'd found his little story about the turian way of blowing off steam inspiring and that she'd chosen _him_ , but he had no illusions about the nature of their relationship. Sure, they'd pushed past the boundaries of pure friendship, but this new thing... it wasn't about anything more than helping each other relieve stress, at least at this point, no matter how much he wished that it went beyond that.

Still, it was a first step, and he decided that he wasn't going to screw his chance up. At least, not intentionally. He got up and started to pace up and down the battery, wondering what he should do next. If she was a turian and they were on a turian ship, he would demonstrate his intentions by moving his gear next to hers, but they were on a human vessel, and she was his commanding officer; he couldn't just grab his stuff and haul it up to her cabin. No, it had to be done some other way...

Then it finally came to him: they always had breakfast together, and she always had some of that black stuff—coffee, he vaguely remembered it was called— in her favorite cup. The thing was big and blue, with a chipped and cracked finish, but for some reason she was convinced that it brought her luck, so nobody else was allowed to touch it. Gardner kept it on a separate shelf, away from all the others to prevent anybody else from taking it by mistake. He'd just have to convince the mess sergeant to relinquish it to him and then he could place it right next to his own mug. If things went well, she would understand the meaning behind his gesture. And if she didn't, or worse, if she'd get angry about his assumptions, then, well... he'd just have to deal with her wrath as best as he could.

 

* * *

 

After she'd washed herself and brushed her unruly locks, Shepard stripped out of her tank top and threw it into the laundry chute with one efficient move. Pulling her shorts down, however, set the skin on her inner thighs on fire, so she bent down to examine her legs. It was only then that she realized that they were a little red and tender from their vigorous contact with Garrus's hide and plates the night before. Fortunately her cybernetics were already working on re-knitting her skin weave to repair the damage, but even if she didn't have the help of those upgrades (which, she had to admit to herself, sometimes did come in handy), she wouldn't have cared about the pain; as far as she was concerned, the pleasure Garrus had given her was totally worth it. Still, she hoped that the discomfort would go away soon enough to not be a distraction during their planned recruitment of the assassin and the justicar.

She could probably ask for some analgesic or some kind of ointment from Dr. Chakwas, but what would she say? _'I've had sex with Garrus, and apparently human skin and turian plates don't go so well together, so could you give me something for this chafing?'_ She shook her head with a chortle and decided to ignore the mild burning sensation—it was getting better every minute anyway.

Once she'd gotten dressed, she strolled over to her desk to check for new messages before going down for breakfast and was happy to find a letter from the Illusive Man which let her know that Tali was on Haestrom. There was no information about what her old friend was doing on that planet, but it didn't matter. She decided to go there right after they'd finished everything they needed to do on Illium and see if this time she would be willing to join them. She sincerely hoped so; it would be nice to have someone else on her team that she knew she could trust with her life.

Her stomach growled loudly, reminding her that it was time to go and have something to eat, so she turned her computer off and got up to leave when her gaze fell on the black and silver picture frame, still upside down on her desk.

_'I wonder what Kaidan would think if he knew that I've slept with Garrus,'_ she thought, almost in a panic, as guilt and shame gripped her heart and squeezed it hard for a moment—until she remembered Horizon and the letter he'd sent her afterwards. She picked up the picture and glared at his smiling face, gritting her teeth as she hissed, as if he was right there in the room with her, "You don't get to judge. You're the one who stabbed me in the heart and turned your back on me."

She opened the bottom drawer and tossed his picture inside, then slammed the drawer shut with a most satisfying bang; he was not welcome in her space and in her life anymore, at least not now. Not until he realized what he'd done and apologized. _Sincerely_ apologized—she didn't want to hear that "I'm sorry but you're still a traitor" bullshit ever again.

_'Out of sight, out of mind,´_ she thought with a determined nod of her head, then smoothed her shirt down, straightened her back, and walked out of her cabin with her head held high to call up the elevator and go down to the mess hall.

The ride took forever, as usual, and, as she got closer and closer to her destination, she found that her stomach got more and more unsettled—and it was not because of hunger gnawing at her insides. In fact, her appetite seemed to be suddenly gone as she realized, for the first time since she'd awoken, happy and content, that in a few minutes she was going to have to face Garrus.

She'd never considered, until now, how their relationship might change after the previous night's events, but at this moment that was all she could think about. Would he think any less of her for having propositioned him? He certainly didn't seem to mind when they were making love, and he was so gentle and loving afterwards that she could barely convince herself to leave the battery. She would have given anything to be able to stay like that forever: her head on his shoulder, her arm across his waist, and his hand traveling up and down her body with a gentle stroke.

The door finally opened and she reluctantly stepped out of the elevator, the racing of her heart speeding up to an almost unbearable pace as she approached the mess hall.

_'This 'blowing off steam with Garrus' thing was the worst idea of my life,'_ she groaned to herself, trying to take a few deep breaths in the hope that it would distract her stomach enough for it to stop doing those flip-flops that were threatening to send her to the bathroom in a hurry.

_'I can stare down a thresher maw on foot; I can certainly look my best friend in the eye,'_ she tried to remind herself, but when her brain added, _'One I've slept with,'_ she almost turned around. But, she was Commander Fucking Shepard, so she trudged on with a sigh and before she knew it (certainly before she wanted to), she was already there.

She didn't dare to glance at the table they usually ate at but, as she headed to the shelf to grab her cup, she could see from the corner of her eye that he was already sitting there, together with a few other members of her crew.

She hurried by, her gaze set on the shelves behind Gardner, but she forgot all about her worries when she realized that the spot where he kept her beloved cup was strangely empty.

"Where's my cup?" she demanded in her most serious Commander voice he'd ever heard. If she'd been in a better mood she might have taken pity on the panic-stricken man, but right now she couldn't care less if he shitted himself silly, as long as he produced her lucky mug.

"Officer Vakarian threatened me with bodily harm if I didn't surrender it," he answered apologetically, nodding his head towards the table where her team was sitting. "I believe his exact words were, 'I'll rip your fucking head off'," he continued in an indignant tone as he glowered at the turian.

"Garrus? What the hell—" Shepard growled, turning towards him, but the words froze on her lips when she saw her beat-up cup sitting right next to his, their sides touching, like two best friends huddling together in a storm.

Her eyes met his, and she couldn't stop her heart from melting into a puddle of goo as his mandibles spread wide in a toothy grin and his blue eyes glinted with sheepish mischief.

"I... got it ready for you," he purred, his subharmonics vibrating with the same kind of warmth that he'd wrapped her in last night, and all the worry and tension drained out of her in an instant.

"Umm... thanks," she said with an awkward smile. She picked up her cup to fill it with the steaming black liquid that she seemed to live on, and gave Gardner her breakfast order on the way to the pot (not that he didn't know it already; after all, she always ate the same thing every morning).

Once everything she wanted was on her tray, she walked back to the table with it and sat down on the seat closest to Garrus. The first thing she'd always do was to have a sip of her coffee, and she did the same thing now, savoring the strong flavor with closed eyes, then she carefully deposited her cup right next to Garrus's mug, making them touch, just like she'd found them this morning.

The grin on Garrus's face got even bigger, no matter how impossible that may have seemed, and she could swear that she heard a low rumble emanating from his chest.

"So...," she started, digging into the omelet on her plate, "how did you sleep?"

"Like a rock," he replied, taking a bite out of his morning meal, which looked like some kind of sausage with some orange eggs and dark brown biscuits. He cleared his throat, and added, in a lower voice, just for her, "It was the best night of my life."

The fork stopped and trembled in her hand and she knew her face was suddenly painted red. She looked around to see if anybody had noticed anything, but fortunately they all seemed to be occupied with their own thing. Zaeed was talking to Kasumi, trying to elicit a chuckle from her with his outrageous stories, but she was hardly paying him any attention. Instead, she was watching Jacob stuff piece after piece of his toast into his mouth as if it was his mission to eliminate the enemy from his plate, and damned if he wasn't going to do it fast and right.

Jack had just stumbled into the mess hall and was heading to the kitchen to grab something to eat, looking like she was still half asleep (she was not exactly a morning person, to put it mildly), and Mordin's eyes were glued to his datapad, as usual. Even so, he never missed the green slug-looking things on his plate that he kept skewering on his fork and putting into his mouth while he was reading; it was quite fascinating to watch him do so many things at once without taking his eyes off the text he was studying so ardently (some scientific paper, no doubt).

"And you?" Garrus asked, startling Shepard out of her thoughts. She blushed even deeper as she answered, "Same here. On both counts."

His leg brushed hers for a moment, setting off a rush of electric sparks in her veins. It took her a few seconds to calm down enough to be able to chew and swallow again.

"Oh," she turned to him as she remembered the message she'd received that morning, "guess what? I got a letter about Tali; apparently she's on Haestrom. Once we're done on Illium, I'll want to take the _Normandy_ there and see if she could join us."

"That would be nice. What's she doing there?"

"No idea. I guess we'll just have to find out. I can't wait to be done here so we can go and catch up with her. Shouldn't take too long. We'll just have to talk to Thane Krios and the asari justicar, then we can leave."

"Yeah, right. 'Cause things are always so easy for us," Garrus smirked, shaking his head.

"Come on, what could possibly go wrong?" She waved a dismissive hand, but she knew he was right; something bad _always_ had to happen.

"Everything," he drawled with feigned dread, then added in a serious voice, "But that's why I'm here. I'll be right behind you—whatever happens."

"Thanks," was all she could squeeze out over the lump in her throat as she laid her hand over his.

Of all her decisions and of everything she'd ever done, getting him on her team was definitely the best idea she'd ever had.


	10. Illium

When they docked on Nos Astra an hour later, Shepard burst out the door and charged through the crowds like a maniac, anxious to get their recruiting mission done so that they could leave for Haestrom as soon as possible. Garrus and Mordin could barely keep up with her, and they almost knocked her over when she suddenly stopped in front of a young asari sitting behind one of the desks in the shipping office.

"Seryna?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest and tilting her head to the side in her usual "don't mess with me" posture. She'd recognized the other asari from the night before, sitting a few feet from them at her workstation and, since there were no other people in the office, she hoped that she was finally talking to the right person here.

"Who's asking?" the young woman glanced up at her with an indifferent look in her eyes, apparently unimpressed by the armored human and her little group.

_'Somebody who could send you flying through that window right now,'_ Shepard thought with irritation, but decided to try another, more diplomatic approach first. "My name's Commander Shepard. I'm looking for Thane Krios and was told that you have some information about him."

The expression on Seryna's face didn't change, but she got up and asked her co-worker to cover for her. She signaled the group to follow her to a private corner of the room.

Shepard's shoulders relaxed somewhat; they were going to get the intelligence they needed, meet up with Krios, then find Samara and talk to her, too. If everything went well, all of this shouldn't take more than a couple of hours—she was sure of that.

Of course, she should have known better. Like Garrus had said, things could never be that easy for them. As it turned out, Thane was on a mission (on whose order, they did not know) to kill Nassana Dantius—a ruthless businesswoman Seryna had worked for.

"Nassana Dantius..." Shepard narrowed her eyes as she searched her memory; it seemed like she'd heard that name before, and not just from Liara. "Sounds familiar for some reason."

"She used to be a representative on the Citadel," Seryna offered helpfully, and _that_ immediately cleared the haze from Shepard's mind.

"Of course. I remember now. She had me kill her sister."

"Oh, yeah, that was a load of fun," Garrus groaned behind her.

"Well, you know then what she's capable of, and she has even more power on Nos Astra now. She has also surrounded herself with Eclipse mercs. They are highly trained, well equipped, and they don't care who they kill as long as they get paid for it. I told Thane all about this, but he didn't seem worried. I think he's planning on making his move tonight, after the workers have cleared out of her headquarters."

"All right." Shepard rubbed her forehead with a sigh. So much for talking to him quickly and getting out of here. "So, where do I find him?"

"Nassana is in Dantius Tower 1, on the Penthouse Level. There's another tower under construction that connects to it with a bridge; he'll probably get in from there. I can get you in tonight, but you'd better be ready."

"Oh, we'll be ready, don't worry."

They made arrangements to meet up in the evening, then Shepard and her team headed to the transportation hub to talk to Tracking Officer Dara, like Liara had suggested, and ask about Samara.

When the officer jumped up in panic at the mention of the justicar's name, demanding to know if she'd already killed someone, Shepard wondered if Samara was just another assassin—and why the Illusive Man had thought that she would need two of those on this mission. She herself had doubts about using even one. But, as it turned out, justicars were actually similar to warrior monks back in Earth's history, traveling around and meting out justice in the name of their sacred code. She didn't quite understand this code-thing and why apparently they could kill anybody they thought deserved to die without any repercussions, but it didn't really matter. All she wanted to know was where to find her, so when they were told that Samara had gone on to the commercial space port, they followed suit and took a cab there.

However, when they arrived, they found the place under lockdown. The police were investigating a murder and refused to let Shepard and her team in.

Utterly frustrated, she stormed into the police station to talk to the detective in charge.

The detective glanced up, unfazed, when the Commander took a seat on the other side of her desk. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for an asari justicar called Samara. She's supposed to be at the space port, but your people won't let me in."

"We have a crime scene there at the moment. Nobody is allowed to enter or leave," the detective replied in an even voice, taking stock of the group and their obviously high-grade weapons. "What do you want from the justicar? If it's about trying to settle a score with her, take it somewhere else. I have enough trouble in my district right now, especially with her being here."

"I need to recruit Samara for my mission. Then we'll be on our way."

"You can't just hire a justicar for some personal errands," the detective started to say with a dismissive shake of her head, but it seemed like she had suddenly hit on another thought. She went on with a hopeful look in her eyes, "Unless... it's an important, just, and preferably impossible cause."

"We've got all those covered," Garrus interjected. "Especially that last one."

"Perfect match," Mordin nodded approvingly, his large eyes carefully watching the detective—Anaya, according to the name plaque on her desk.

"Well," the asari almost smiled, but caught herself just in time, "if that's the case, then I'll get you to her right away. She's at the crime scene."

"Just like that?" Shepard narrowed her eyes. People usually didn't relent so quickly unless they wanted something in return.

"Yeah. I'll even kiss you goodbye if you get her out of my district."

"Why are you so anxious to see her go?" This was getting more and more suspicious; everybody seemed to be so wary of this Samara that Shepard started to have doubts whether she would really fit in with her team.

"My superiors want me to detain her to avoid some cross-species incident. Not every race approves of their citizens getting killed because they've cheated on their tax forms." Anaya shrugged her shoulders. "But her justicar code will require that she resist—which means she'll have to kill me. I have no interest in that, so if you can lure her away with some noble cause, I'll be more than happy to help. I'll let my people know that you can go in. Just be careful; the back alleys are teeming with Eclipse mercs."

"Thanks for the warning." Shepard's lips curled into a smirk as she got up and headed to the door. She was actually itching for some action right now; somebody had to pay for the direction this day had taken, and what better way to accomplish that than to pump some assholes full of lead?

 

* * *

 

Anaya was right: they'd encountered the first group of mercs soon after they'd entered the area. The fight was over before they knew it, and they pushed on until they rounded the corner and heard a loud crack as an asari, her body glowing blue, twisted her foot on the neck of a mercenary that was lying defeated and helpless on the floor.

"Ouch," Garrus let out an unconscious groan. Shepard couldn't help but agree with his assessment of the situation. She winced at the sound and stopped in her tracks as she watched the victor turn around and head in their direction.

"Efficient." Mordin nodded his head with respect; breaking the spinal column with nothing more than your bare hands or feet was a skill he could appreciate—it was something they'd trained for in the STG, though he preferred other, slightly more elegant and satisfying methods.

"My name is Samara. I am a servant of the justicar code. My dispute is with the Eclipse Sisters," the asari announced in a measured voice, casting her cold eyes at the armored and well-equipped human and her team standing in front of her. "Are we friends or foes?"

Shepard decided to ignore the fact for now that Samara had just killed an unarmed and defeated enemy in cold blood. "I am Commander Shepard. I'm on a dangerous but very important mission and I need the best people for my team. I was hoping that you would be willing to join us."

"I sense that you are telling the truth," the justicar said after a few seconds of contemplation, "but I'm on an important mission of my own. I seek an incredibly dangerous fugitive, but the Eclipse Sisters have smuggled her off world. I must find out the name of the ship she's left on before the trail goes cold."

"That won't be possible right now," Detective Anaya reluctantly announced as she approached the group. "I've been ordered to take you into custody if you won't leave."

"By the justicar's code, I am obligated to cooperate with you for one day, but after that I must return to my investigation."

"I won't be able to release you that quickly." Anaya sighed; she knew what she'd signed up for when she'd joined the force, but this wasn't exactly how she'd expected her days to end—at the hand of a justicar, caught between that damned code and her superiors' stupidity.

"Which means?" Shepard interrupted her thoughts, but before the detective could answer, Samara started to speak.

"I'll have to kill anyone who would stand in my way to break out. Unless..." Her eyes drifted off for a second before they focused on Shepard again. "Unless you find me the information I seek while I am in custody. If you do that, I will join your crew."

"All right; if that's what it takes, we'll do it. Any leads to help point us in the right direction?"

"Talk to Pitne For—the volus merchant. He may know a way into the Eclipse base."

"Well, I have to get back to my station," Anaya spoke up, her voice low and wary, "and I guess I have to take you with me."

"Thank you, Shepard," Samara said coolly. She turned around to follow the detective, who looked back at the group with nearly pleading eyes before they disappeared around the corner.

 

* * *

 

The talk with Pitne For turned out to be rather fruitful, as it produced a pass card that allowed them to enter the Eclipse base. After that it was just a matter of fighting through hordes of mercs and mechs, not to mention a gunship, while doing their best to avoid lethal clouds of Minagen X3 emanating from the destroyed crates that were scattered all over the place, courtesy of Pitne and his cohorts. They found some interesting information along the way, which Shepard pocketed for safekeeping, and bumped into Niftu Cal, Pitne's surviving partner in crime, high on the drugs the volus team had supplied to the Sisters, who'd been so kind as to share enough with him to make him feel like the greatest biotic alive. Shepard was tempted to let him take the lead in their final assault, but he was so cute strutting around, basking in his newfound awesomeness, that she just couldn't do it. She convinced him to go take a nap while they burst into the last room in the building and showed Wasea, the Eclipse leader, what a Spectre, an ex-STG operative and the deadliest vigilante in Omega's entire history could do.

By the time they were finished with their demonstration, Wasea and her lackeys were dead and the room was in ruins, and all that was left to do was to find the information they were looking for. Fortunately, that didn't take too long (apparently Wasea had never expected someone else to read her personal notes) so, satisfied with the results of their investigation, they headed back to the police station.

They found Detective Anaya sitting at her desk and Samara perched on the half wall behind her.

"I have the name of the ship. Your fugitive has been taken off world on the AML Demeter two days ago," Shepard said as she stopped in front of the justicar.

Samara's pale, cool eyes opened wide for a moment in mild surprise. "Thank you, Shepard. You've kept up your end of the bargain, and so will I." She got off the wall and turned to Anaya. "I will leave immediately if that is all right with your superiors."

"You're free to leave, justicar," Anaya answered. "It's been an honor having you on my station—and you not killing me was a bonus."

The next moment Samara did something that impressed even the unflappable detective: she knelt down in front of the commander and swore an oath to her.

"By the Code, I will serve you, Shepard. Your choices are my choices, your morals are my morals. Your wishes are my code."

Shepard cast a sideways glance at Garrus to see his reaction, but he was too busy staring at the glowing biotic to notice. This oath... this code...it was something that he could understand—it was the exact same way he'd felt about Shepard ever since he'd joined her first crew more than two years ago. In fact, he was tempted to follow the asari's example now and repeat her words—on his knees, if he had to. But, instead of making a spectacle out of himself, he kept his silence and stood with a straight back as he watched the scene in front of him, mesmerized by the solemn ritual, unaware of the sudden pang of jealous uncertainty that stabbed at Shepard's heart at the sight of his unwavering attention so intimately focused on the shapely justicar.

When Garrus finally met her eyes with a grin, Shepard couldn't hold back a relieved smile of her own. She was brought back to the present, however, as Samara stood up and announced, "If you make me do anything extremely dishonorable, I may need to kill you when I am released from my oath."

"Duly noted," the commander replied with a nod, then she turned to the detective. "I have some information for you, too. Here, read this—it proves that Eclipse killed the volus merchant."

Anaya took the datapad from her to study the entry. It confirmed that a new recruit called Elnora had done the deed as an initiation kill for her membership in the Eclipse group. "Interesting. I'll issue a warrant for this Elnora."

"Don't bother. She was stupid enough to pull a gun on Shepard," Garrus interjected with a disapproving growl. "She's been... dealt with."

"Well, I guess she won't be a problem in the future then—I can't say I'm sorry to hear that."

"There's one more thing," Shepard said as she pulled out another datapad. "I have proof that Pitne For smuggled in red sand and illegal weapons tech."

"I knew there was something fishy about him, but I didn't have any evidence. Thank you, Shepard. This is a big help. I'll send some officers to arrest him and his cohorts."

"No problem." The commander nodded her head, then she turned to Samara. "We still have another mission to do here. You could board the _Normandy_ now or stay—" She swallowed her words as she caught sight of Anaya's desperate head-shaking from the corner of her eye. Trying to suppress her laughter, she went on, "You know what? Just go to the _Normandy_ and get settled in. It's docked in the space port by the main trading floor. I'll notify my XO about your arrival and she'll be waiting for you."

"Thank you, Shepard."

Samara started to leave, but Shepard had another thought. "Do either of you want to take a break and go back with her?" she asked, turning to Garrus and Mordin. "I could get somebody else to join me if you've had enough for today."

"Come on, Shepard," Garrus purred, his eyes glinting with mischief. "Haven't you heard about turian stamina? I could go for another round... of fighting, I mean."

Shepard was sure that her face was turning deep red, and she had to bite into her lower lip to suppress the flustered giggle that desperately wanted to erupt from her throat. She knew Garrus was grinning, but she tried to avoid looking at him directly. Instead, she glanced at Mordin and raised an eyebrow as she waited for his answer.

"No need to return to ship yet; tests won't be done till the evening. Would prefer keeping busy with mission," Mordin said matter-of-factly. If he'd noticed anything about the overtones of the little interlude between Shepard and Garrus, he didn't show it.

"All right. We'll see you on board later this evening, then," she said to Samara, and with that, the justicar was gone.

They said goodbye to Anaya, who seemed to be relieved to see them all go, then she radioed EDI and ordered her to let Miranda know about the situation.

They still had a few hours left before their rendezvous with Seryna, so they headed to a multi-species restaurant to grab a bite—the way this day was going, they would probably need the energy for their mission to find Thane Krios.


	11. Nice to Meet You, Mr. Krios

They found a pleasant little restaurant and settled down in a quiet corner. It was nice to have a small break after their frantic morning, and they enjoyed the calm as much as the food that the server brought to their table.

Most of her energy had been drained by fighting the mercs, so Shepard ate in silence for a while, savoring the strong flavors of her stew. Once her body had stopped complaining about the lack of resources, she decided that it was time for some payback and have a little fun teasing Garrus.

She shot him a lopsided smirk. "You're sure you don't want to go back to the ship and calibrate your guns instead of coming with us to find the assassin?" She almost choked on her food when Garrus leaned back in his seat and leveled his gaze at her as he drawled, his sub-vocals vibrating with a suggestive twang, "Oh, my guns are calibrated just fine."

She took a sip of her water to wash down the piece of meat that had almost gotten caught in her throat before she muttered, "Indeed." The memories of the night before came back like a flashflood in her brain, warming her insides and sending her blood pooling in areas she really didn't want to think about right now. She took a few deep breaths, then she cast a deceptively innocent look at him and casually remarked, "Maybe I'll inspect them when we're back on board—just to be sure."

He began to cough uncontrollably at that, the skin on his neck turning a dark bluish tint. It took him a while before he could draw enough air into his lungs to answer. "I, uh, am... looking forward to that." He pretended to turn his attention back to his plate as he added, keeping an eye on her reaction, "My guns and I are always at your service."

"That's nice to know," she stammered, desperately trying to hold back the flustered grin that was threatening to spread across her face. She glanced at Mordin and asked, hoping to divert the attention from the sparks flying between her and Garrus, "So, you're running some tests right now?"

"Yes," Mordin replied enthusiastically, seemingly oblivious to the electricity in the air. "Trying to enhance protection against seeker swarms. Expect to have results this evening."

"The better the barrier you can erect for us, the better our chances," Shepard remarked thoughtfully, her voice turning serious at the mention of the Collectors. "I hope you'll succeed."

They finished their lunch in a somber mood. Since they still had some time before they needed to leave for their meeting with Seryna, they decided to check out the stores and purchase as many upgrades as their funds allowed.

Illium was not exactly the cheapest place in the galaxy, but Shepard managed to snag some discounts. She bought some star charts, weapon and armor mods, and even had some money left over to pick up an Alliance cruiser model for her collection and another fish for her aquarium. Whatever they couldn't install right away she had the stores deliver to the _Normandy_ , and by the time they were done with all the shopping, it was late enough to meet with Seryna.

The asari picked them up in a skycar and flew them over to Dantius Tower 2. While in the air, she debriefed them about the security forces they were most likely to encounter, and she set the car down on an empty spot in the landing zone by the side of the building.

"Shepard," she turned to the commander as the group climbed out of the vehicle, "what do you plan to do? Are you going to try to stop Thane?"

"No. I'm not here for Nassana. I just want to talk to Krios. I'll do my best to make sure that he survives to make that possible. Whatever happens to _her_ in the process is not my concern."

The asari hummed in acknowledgement, the emotionless expression on her face belying the relief she felt at the commander's words. She had sincerely hoped that she wasn't making a huge mistake by helping Shepard and her people find the assassin—after all, she would have hated to stop her old boss from getting what she so richly deserved. "Good luck, Shepard," she said with a tip of her head, then she took off and left the team behind.

"All right, let's find en entry," Shepard barked out as they approached the first floor and scanned for a door they could sneak in through.

Her plans for getting in undetected evaporated, however, when they noticed a wall of glass showcasing a well-lit lobby, its peace and quiet suddenly turning into a nightmare as a group of mechs and dogs appeared out of nowhere and attacked the few salarian workers that were still lingering around.

"Son of a bitch," Shepard growled. Her eyes narrowed in rage at the sickening sight of defenseless innocents running for their lives, only to be shot in the back by their merciless tormentors. She instinctively reached for her pistol to give those bastards some medicine of their own.

Her team followed suit. Their bullets shattered the glass into a thousand tiny pieces, and in less than a minute there was nothing left but smoking metal and twitching mechanical limbs where Nassana's security detail used to be.

They entered the tower through the newly created opening and searched for survivors, but found only one. He was slumped by a wall, his face and clothing splattered with the green blood of his comrades and his own, his breathing labored and fading as he begged them for help.

"I can't feel my legs... and my chest is killing me," he moaned, trying to lift his head and hold on to the last flicker of light his eyes were still able to perceive. His vision was getting blurry and he could feel his life slip away, but he couldn't give up—not when his contract was almost coming to an end and he could finally get away from this miserable place and the absolute worst boss he had ever had the misfortune to work for.

"What happened here?" Shepard asked as Mordin knelt down and brought up his omni-tool to examine the salarian's injuries.

"My name's Chel. I'm one of the night workers," he started, his voice weak and strained, "but Nassana wanted us out of the way. We didn't know! We only found out when the mechs started shooting."

He began to cough, every spasm of his chest feeling like his lungs were being stabbed by a knife dipped in flames, and he couldn't hold himself up any longer. He collapsed on the floor, wheezing, and hoped that if this was the end after all, it was going to be quick and merciful.

"Multiple gunshot wounds to the back and shoulder. Going into shock," Mordin stated calmly as he looked up from his scans. "Needs medical attention—medi-gel necessary to make it to hospital."

"Do it," the commander ordered and watched with relief as the salarian slowly stood up once Mordin had administered the medication.

"Thank you," Chel said. His voice sounded a little stronger, but his posture was still bent and his legs were unsteady. "I feel better now."

"Why would Nassana want to kill her own workers?" Shepard's eyebrows pulled into a frown; this didn't make sense at all.

"She wanted us gone right away, and to her we are expendable—just numbers on her spreadsheets. The mechs said there was no time." He shook his head, his anger rising as he remembered his friends and co-workers desperately trying to get away from the bullets and the dogs—most of them unsuccessfully. "There was blood everywhere... They might still be slaughtering the others right now!" His heart clenched in fear at the possibility that the massacre was still going on somewhere else in the building. "Please, you have to help them!"

"I'll do my best." She nodded and reached out to help him regain his balance as his knees buckled for a moment. "I need to get up to the penthouse. Any suggestions?"

"Take the service elevator to the upper floors, then cross over on the bridge. It's not finished yet, so you'll have to be careful. And watch out for the mercs. They are everywhere." 'He felt the weakness slowly return to his limbs, so he decided that it was time to leave; he needed to make it to the hospital before he collapsed again. Before he rounded the corner, he turned back and gave them a grateful little bow. "Thank you again. I'll never forget this." Then he was gone.

 

* * *

 

They took the elevator as far up as it would go, hoping that it would let them out close to their destination, but when they arrived, all they could see was an empty corridor. They headed down its length, only the thudding noise of their footsteps echoing in the eerily quiet passageway, but the calm didn't last long. The next room they found was crawling with mercs, so they ducked behind cover and began the slow process of picking off Nassana's men and the LOKI mechs one by one.

The dogs were a bit more frustrating, however, since they ran faster than their short legs and round bodies should have made possible. One of them had managed to get within a few feet of Shepard's location before Garrus realized what was happening. Just as he aimed his gun to blast the darned thing to hell, she lifted her right leg and snapped it out in a powerful side kick, sending the dog flying across the room. It landed in a broken and smoldering heap, but even before it had stopped twitching, Shepard's attention was already back on a trooper that was encroaching on their position. She whittled down his shields with her disruptor ammo, and was just about to switch to her sniper rifle to take him out when Garrus blew his head off with a well placed shot.

"I was _getting_ there," she glared at him in feigned irritation. She quickly sent a bullet to the forehead of another merc, right between his eyes, and when he collapsed without so much as a yelp, she glanced over at Garrus with a triumphant wink. "Now we're even."

"I don't think so. I'm leading by at least two," he yelled over the cacophony of the renewed barrage of bullets whizzing through the air when a few more mercs entered the room. He ran forward and dove behind a column only to peek out again and spray them with his Mattock.

"Don't see reason to keep count," Mordin chimed in as he jumped over a crate and emptied his gun into a mech. "But... have set several groups on fire already."

"Are you saying that you're ahead?" Shepard shouted over the noise, crouching behind a low wall to let her shields regenerate.

"Yes," Mordin simply stated as the last LOKI collapsed, his final words, _'Excuse me'_ , still hanging in the air.

"You know what I like about these mechs?" Shepard asked as she got up to survey the aftermath of their little skirmish and make sure that all the enemies were indeed properly dead.

"That they sparkle so nicely when they explode?" Garrus smirked. He picked up a few heat sinks and distributed them to his squad mates.

"That they are so damn polite." Shepard grinned as she reloaded her gun. "But yeah, the sparks are nice, too."

 

* * *

 

They continued their search, fighting dozens of guards on the way, but the only indication of Thane being in the building was the nervous conversation they overheard between two of Nassana's security people about his whereabouts, then the broken and lifeless body of one of them dropping down through a vent.

They encountered the first group of night workers soon after that. They'd been locked up in a room and were scared out of their minds at the sight of Shepard's team suddenly opening the door and pointing their guns at them.

"I'm looking for someone—he's not a member of the security detail," the commander said as she lowered her pistol.

"There was somebody here who locked us in and sealed the door, but all I could see was that he wasn't a salarian," one of the workers replied. His heart rate was gradually getting back to normal and his color started to return to its usual shade. When the door had opened he was sure that their days of working for Nassana were over—and not in the way they had hoped.

"Locked you in?" Garrus shook his head in surprise. "Sounds like the assassin wanted to keep them safe—wasn't even worried about leaving witnesses behind."

"Assassin?" The salarian's eyes grew even wider than usual for a second, but then it all made sense. "Here for Nassana, I bet."

"Good!" another worker chimed in. "I hope she gets what she deserves. She works us long hours, doesn't pay overtime, and then this is what we get: hunted down by her people just because we were in the way."

"Why don't you just quit?" Shepard asked. "If conditions are so miserable, why do you keep working for her?"

"We're bound by our contracts. Not to mention that anybody who tries to leave early tends to disappear."

Shepard's eyebrows knotted into a frown; she slowly began to put the picture together. Liara had warned them about the insidious contracts on Illium; these poor workers definitely wouldn't have the help of some savvy lawyer to guide them through the traps of the documents they were about to sign. She didn't like it, but there was nothing she could do, so she turned her attention back to the issue at hand. "Which way to the penthouse?"

"Take the cargo elevator to the top floor, then cross over on the bridge. Just be careful of the wind and the mercs."

"All right, you should all leave now. The lower floors are safe, but I wouldn't linger. Get out as quickly as you can," Shepard said and watched the workers file out of the room and disappear around the corner.

"Should have killed Nassana instead of sister," Mordin remarked.

"Her sister wasn't that much better," Shepard grumbled then she nodded towards the elevator. "Okay, let's go."

 

* * *

 

It took another round of gunfire to take control of the lift, since, when it arrived it spat out a krogan and two Eclipse engineers, but once they'd been dealt with, they could finally enter the cabin and take a ride to the top floor. They exited with their guns drawn, ready for another battle, but found only one merc in the room. He seemed to be oblivious to their presence as he was immersed in a conversation with someone on his radio, assuring this invisible person that everything was all right and his team was going to take care of the situation.

"Turn around very slowly, and don't be stupid," Shepard growled. Once he did, he found himself face to face with three guns, each of them pointing right at his head.

"Shit," he muttered, then pulled himself together and took up a defiant pose. "Who are you?"

"That's not your concern. Have you seen the assassin?"

"Even if I knew where he was, I wouldn't tell _you._ "

"Wrong answer," Shepard said as she pressed the barrel of her pistol against his forehead. "But I'll give you one more chance, because I'm such a nice person. Isn't that right, guys?" Her lips pulled into a wicked grin, while her eyes, hard and cold, never left the man's own, boring into his soul and chilling his heart until he felt like it was going to stop beating at any second.

"I wouldn't want to piss her off," Garrus deadpanned, pulling his mandibles tightly to his face in mock fear.

"Not if you want to stay alive," Mordin nodded in agreement.

"Is Nassana really worth dying for?" the commander continued with a sneer. "Isn't a little information worth your life? If you tell me what you know I'll let you walk out of here with your skin intact."

His eyes darted nervously between the three of them for a few seconds, then he swallowed hard and took a deep breath before he answered. He definitely didn't fancy ending his life like this—especially not for somebody like Nassana. "Okay, look," he finally started, "nobody really knows where he is. He seems to be moving around in the vents. But the team on the bridge thinks they might have spotted him."

"All right." She pulled back her gun, but kept it pointed at him—just in case he still tried to be a hero. "Get out of here. And find another job."

"Don't worry, I will," he said, trying to hide his relief. He hurried to the elevator and disappeared behind its doors.

Mordin shook his head. "Very generous. Others wouldn't have let him go. Might return with reinforcements, though."

"I don't think so." Shepard shrugged and rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. "He can only go down from here, and all the floors below us have been cleared out. But if he does come back, we'll just have to deal with him, won't we?"

 

* * *

 

The next room they entered seemed like a huge storage area, with crates and boxes scattered all over. There were a couple of mechs stationed here and there, folded up in their stand-by position, and a few mercs were loitering in the back, apparently distracted by Nassana. She was checking up on their progress over the radio, her shrill voice barking orders that nobody dared to question.

"We're not sure where he is. There are reports of him all over the place. We think he's moving through the ducts," one of the Eclipse said.

"I'm not paying you to think! Just find him already!" Nassana screeched, then she angrily cut off the transmission.

Shepard's squad managed to sneak in without being noticed and took up position behind some crates, spread out in different directions in an effort to flank the enemy. She switched to her Incisor, signaled Garrus to get ready to take out the mech on the left, then she lined up her own shot. "Now," she whispered. The next moment the mechs exploded into balls of flame and electrical sparks—and then all hell broke loose.

The mercs didn't waste any time pummeling them with their weapons fire, but they were no match for Garrus's and Shepard's headshots or Mordin's Carnifex, and it didn't take more than a few minutes for everything to go quiet again.

They went around the room, picking up some fresh heat sinks, and found another sealed door. There was no encrypted lock in the galaxy that Shepard could ever resist hacking into, so she set to work, and in a few seconds the door opened with a satisfying swoosh—only to reveal a few more salarian workers, one of whom was pointing a gun at them with a shaky hand.

"Stand back! Or I'll shoot!" he yelled, trying to be as scary as he could manage.

"Relax. We're not here to hurt you. We're just looking for someone." Shepard tried to speak as calmly as she could, carefully choosing her words-as if she was talking to a young child.

It worked: the salarian lowered the gun, then pushed it into her hand. "All right. I didn't really want to do it anyway." He sighed, then he complained about not feeling well, and promptly collapsed on the floor.

"Telon!" One of the other workers rushed to his side to check on him, then he looked up at the group. "He's my brother. He didn't mean to hurt anybody. Were you the ones who shot the merc?"

Shepard looked in the direction he was gesturing and noticed a dead Eclipse on the floor. "It wasn't me. Your brother didn't shoot him?"

"No. We were standing around here. The merc kept shouting at us, but we panicked; we thought he was going to kill us. But suddenly his head just... exploded."

"Impressive. Precise headshot without any collateral damage," Garrus said.

Shepard nodded in agreement, then she turned back to the salarian. "Is there a way to the bridge from here?"

"There's a ramp around the corner that will take you to the top. The bridge won't be far from there."

"You should leave; the lower floors are safe for now," she suggested. The workers didn't argue; Telon got up with the help of his brother and the group left with grateful thanks.

The team returned to the large room and started in the direction the salarian had indicated when Nassana's irritating voice came on the intercom again.

"What's going on? Where is everybody?" she demanded.

"I think you're right," Shepard groaned, glancing at Mordin. "I should have killed _her_ instead of her sister."

She strolled over to the console in the corner and picked up the radio. "Your men can't help you now. Nobody can."

"Dammit! Who are you?"

"Your worst nightmare," Shepard hissed, her voice as deep and threatening as she could manage without laughing, then she turned off the transmission.

Garrus chuckled, shaking his head, but Mordin nodded in approval. "Psychological warfare. Can be very effective."

Shepard flashed him a smile then she pointed towards the ramp around the corner. "All right. Let's go people; chop-chop!"

"Chop-chop?" Mordin mouthed the words at Garrus, his eyes wide and his head tilted in confusion, but Garrus just shrugged and followed the commander.

 

* * *

 

The bridge was windy and full of mercs, just like they'd been told. It took them quite a while to clear the space out, especially with the two drones the Eclipse had set up at the far end to blast them with their damned rockets. Shepard and Garrus concentrated on the turrets with their rifles while Mordin kept the mercs at bay with his own weapons.

"Garrus! Remind you of something?" Shepard snickered as the last drone exploded.

"What?"

"Omega? The bridge?"

"Oh yeah," he groaned. He dove behind a crate then popped up to overload a trooper's shields. "Not so much fun from this side."

"Well, now you know how it is. We had to get through to you first, remember?"

"Hey! _Those_ were only concussive shots!"

"Riiight."

They moved forward, shooting and incinerating and freezing the enemy on the way, but when they finally made it to the other side, Nassana's irritating voice came on the radio and ordered in some more reinforcements. Shepard's patience was wearing thin by now; just how many troops did one person need? They had killed dozens already, but apparently Nassana had quite an army.

The room erupted in a hail of bullets and biotic powers, but the mercs didn't really have a chance; in a few minutes there was only one vanguard left standing. This one, however, managed to throw Garrus out of cover and nearly blew his head off with her rifle. Shepard was really pissed now; she let out a battle cry, activated her cloak, then rushed up to the asari and shot her in the head at point blank range.

"If Thane doesn't kill that bitch I will do it myself," she growled before she smashed the door panel open. They had finally reached the penthouse.

 

* * *

 

"Shepard! I thought you were dead!" Nassana gasped when they walked in. She ordered her bodyguards to hold fire. She had dealt with this human before, and, though the commander was rumored to be quite dangerous, she'd still managed to manipulate her into killing her sister two years ago. There was still a chance that she could convince her to work for her again—or at least to find out who exactly it was that wanted her dead.

"I get that a lot," Shepard snickered, her gun, aimed squarely at the asari, steady in her hand.

"Who sent you? Was it one of my sisters? How much is she paying you? I can double what she was offering."

"Your family reunions must be a lot of fun," Shepard remarked with a sneer. "Do you really think I'm here to kill you? I admit, the thought has crossed my mind, but if that was really the case, we wouldn't be standing here, chatting about old times. Because, you know, you'd be on the floor. Dead," she added, as if she was talking to somebody with the mental capacity of a fruit fly.

"Then why are you here? Why did you destroy my towers and decimate my security?!"

"I'm just looking for someone." She shrugged her shoulders, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to march into a building, shoot it up, then ask politely, ' _Have you seen the assassin?'_ Whom, incidentally, she was pretty sure she could hear moving around in the ceiling ducts.

In fact, everybody in the room but Nassana could hear it; the guards looked around nervously, trying to determine the source of the soft thump they'd just heard, while Shepard, Garrus and Mordin kept their eyes and their guns focused on the group in front of them. And then there he was: he dropped down silently through the vent, and in a matter of seconds he snapped one guard's neck, knocked out the other, eliminated the third one, then shot Nassana in the stomach. She stared at him with shock in her eyes, wondering how the hell this could have happened, and then it was over. She finally let go, released the greed, the lust for power and revenge, and there was nothing left but her sigh as her last breath escaped her lips and she fell into the cold calm of death.

Thane laid her down on her command desk gently, as if he was tucking a sleepy child in, then put his hands together and dipped his head in silent prayer.

"Impressive. You certainly know how to make an entrance," Garrus remarked, but Thane didn't answer.

Shepard lowered her gun and stepped closer. What the hell was this drell doing? She didn't appreciate being ignored; they'd gone to a lot of trouble to try to talk to him and now when he was finally here he didn't even look at them.

"Hello?" she said, impatience and irritation edging her voice, "Can we talk?"

"My apologies. Prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken," he replied without looking up.

"Well, she certainly was wicked, but I'm not sure she deserves that."

"Not for her. For me."

Now, this was something new. She'd never known of an assassin with morals before—not that she was an expert on their beliefs and culture.

As if he'd read her mind, Thane finally finished his prayer and began to talk while he slowly walked around the desk to stand in front of her. "The measure of an individual can be difficult to discern by actions alone. Take you, for instance. All this destruction... chaos—only to find me. Well, here I am."

"We can't all go crawling through the ducts." She shrugged; she wasn't going to shed one single tear for the mercs who had thought nothing of shooting innocent victims only to get them out of their way. "I needed to get to you so we could discuss an important issue."

"I have to admit that you were a valuable diversion while you did that. I'm listening."

"Somebody is abducting entire human colonies and we're going to stop them. We know who they are—the Collectors."

"I've heard of them. But attacking the Collectors would require passing through the Omega-4 Relay. No ship has ever returned from such an attempt."

"We all know the risks. Some would call it a suicide mission, but I'm convinced that we'll make it." She sounded more confident than she actually felt. There was a pretty good chance that going through the relay was going to be their last trip, and there would be no Cerberus there to rebuild them. But that was irrelevant; this was something that had to be done, no matter the cost, and she hoped that the assassin would agree.

"This was going to be my last mission. I'm dying," he explained, "so low odds of survival don't concern me. The abduction of your colonists does."

"Wait." Shepard held up her hands. "You're dying? Are you contagious?" She took an unconscious step back, wondering what the Illusive Man would think if his 4 billion credits he'd spent on her resurrection were wiped out by the assassin that _he himself_ had recommended for their team. The thought would have been funny if she wasn't so pissed about having had to fight through all those mercs just to kick the bucket because of some disease she might contract from Thane.

"No, I am not contagious, and it will not affect my work," he replied in a reassuring voice. "We can discuss the details on your ship, if you wish. I welcome the opportunity to atone for my sins with this mission, and I thank you for that. I will work for you, Shepard. No charge."

"Welcome to the team, Thane." Shepard extended her right hand and he shook it. His skin was warmer than she'd expected and his grip was firm; she started to like this assassin. Especially if he wasn't going to kill them all.

 

* * *

 

Leaving the building was much easier than getting in. They were outside in a few minutes, ordered a skycar and flew to the main trading floor to board the _Normandy_. Shepard could almost feel the hot water streaming down on her back when she thought about the long shower she was going to take; she was going to collapse on her bed afterwards and hopefully sleep uninterrupted the whole night, only willing to get up if the ship was on fire or under attack. So when a guard stopped them on their way to the space port and told them that the place was under lockdown and quarantine, she almost punched him.

"I don't care about your stupid quarantine! We're going to board our ship whether you like it or not!"

"Ma'am, I have strict orders not to let anybody enter. It's for your own safety. We have a situation there at the moment."

"What kind of situation?" she hissed, her eyes sending out bolts of lightning that would have sent anybody else running for cover with their tails between their legs. The turian, however, must have met his fair share of crazy people in his career, because he didn't flinch.

"There was a drug raid on some shipments. Several crates exploded and the whole area is covered in toxic gas. Minagen X3, I believe. It's going to take the whole night to neutralize it." Shepard pointed to their helmets, but he held up a hand before she could say anything. "Like I said, the whole area is covered with it. Concentrated exposure, even with your breathers, would kill you. We had to send in an automated cleanup crew to deal with it."

"Son of a bitch!" Shepard groaned. "It was Pitne For's stuff, wasn't it?" When the guard nodded his head, she turned to her team with an aggravated growl. "I should have shot the bastard and his partner while I still had the chance."

"Need to find place to stay for the night," Mordin remarked, trying to steer the conversation towards a more productive avenue.

"All right," she sighed. They needed to sleep _somewhere_ ; they couldn't just stand around here and wait until the morning. "Let's go find a hotel."


	12. Roommates

Finding a hotel room turned out to be a much more challenging task than they had expected. The first place they went to, in the vicinity of the main trading floor, had no vacancies whatsoever. The second one, a little farther away, was totally full as well, and the third one attempted to charge them an exorbitant amount of credits for a dirty little alcove barely bigger than a supply closet. They didn't bother traveling to any more establishments after that.

Instead, Shepard downloaded a list of Illium lodgings from the extranet and tried to make a reservation through a few vid calls. But, as it turned out, the city happened to be hosting the biggest Galaxy Trek convention of the whole year at the moment and nothing Shepard could say or do, including claiming Spectre authority over their businesses, could produce even one free room for them.

"Weren't you renting a place somewhere?" she turned to Thane after her fifth unsuccessful attempt. "Do you still have it?"

"I stayed at an inn not far from the Dantius Towers. However, I checked out today—I did not anticipate going back there after my mission," he answered, his calm and measured voice a sharp contrast to Shepard's aggravated grunts and groans. "Additionally, it was a small, one-bedroom setup— would not have been satisfactory for a group."

"Dammit." She rubbed her forehead, trying to come up with a plan of action, then she remembered Liara—she had an office here now, dealing with information, no less. Who better to find out if there was a place somewhere out there that wasn't full of crazy convention people and had some rooms available to house all of them for the night? She pulled up Liara's contact info on her omni-tool and put in a call to her. The asari answered almost immediately. Judging from the familiar background behind her, she was still at work.

"Shepard," she greeted her old friend with a small smile. "Can I help you with something?"

"I hope so. We're stuck on Illium—the space port is under quarantine and we can't board the ship. We need a place to stay, and I wondered if you could help with that. Every single hotel we've tried is full—"

"Oh, yes, the Convention," Liara interjected with a knowing nod. "Most of the rooms usually sell out well in advance for the event. Let me see what I can do, and I'll get back to you later."

"Thanks, Liara." Shepard felt a little better now. Her old squad mate had never let her down and she was confident that she was going to come up with something.

"Any time, Shepard."

The team decided to have some dinner while they waited. The multi-species restaurant they had visited earlier for lunch was not too far, so they headed there again.

The dining room was quiet and pleasant during the day, but this time it was full of people. Their talking and laughing merged into a thrumming buzz, the almost monotonous level of noise accentuated by the clanks of the plates and glasses the servers carried on their heavy trays as they hurried between the tables to serve as many customers in as little time as they were able to.

It took a while, but the team finally managed to find an empty booth. They settled down on the seats, which were still warm from the previous occupants, their strange little group absorbed into the crowd without as much as a raised eyebrow or a curious glare. Most of the patrons of the restaurant, representing almost all the usual races one could see on the Citadel or in a metropolis like Illium, seemed to have come for the convention. Some of them were even dressed in costumes representing different characters from the popular franchise. Shepard watched them with a mixture of irritation and amusement—it was almost surreal that, while there was a real danger of annihilation out there, all these people were worried about were plot points and imaginary battles and debates about whether Major En'dan was finally going to make a move on Lieutenant Hynal.

They ordered their meals and ate quietly, hungry and tired and not really in the mood to shout over the noise to have a conversation. When Shepard's omni-tool pinged, indicating an incoming message from Liara, she got up from the table and walked outside to take the call.

"I hope you have some good news for me," the commander said when Liara's face flashed up on the holo screen.

"I have checked all the hotels, but they are all sold out. However, I did find a place that had a cancellation—"

"Great!"

"But," the asari held up her hand to stop any premature celebration, "it's a two-bedroom suite."

"So... there are only two beds?" Shepard's eyebrows pulled into a frown. This wasn't exactly what she was hoping for, but maybe they could make it work—sleep in shifts, if nothing else. Not the best solution, but at this point she didn't care anymore. She was dog tired and desperately wanted to finally get horizontal somewhere, and she was certain that her team felt the same way.

Liara looked away from the screen, most likely to check her computer as she answered, "There are two bedrooms, each with a double bed, plus a kitchen-living room combo and one bathroom. Sounds like a nice place, really—"

"Okay." Shepard sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. "We'll figure out something about the sleeping arrangements. Did you make a reservation for us?"

"Yes. I didn't want somebody else to snatch it up before I could talk to you. I'm sorry I couldn't find anything else," Liara added, turning those big, innocent eyes on her old commander. "You could stay at my place, if you want, but I only have one bedroom. There's also a couch, but it could only accommodate one person, so... I can't really take in the whole team..."

"That's okay, Liara." Shepard shook her head. "I don't want to split us up. With the luck we've been having here, there would probably be an earthquake during the night and we'd get separated by some huge chasm or something."

"All right." The asari sounded disappointed, but she went on, "I'm sending you the coordinates. Just take a cab there and check in under your name. The suite is ready for you."

"Thanks. I owe you one."

"I might collect on that one day. Good-bye, Shepard." Liara shot her a sad smile, then her face dissolved into jagged lines of static as she terminated the call.

 

* * *

 

Shepard radioed EDI to let her know about the situation. She secretly hoped that the AI was going to have some good news about the lockdown but, much to her disappointment, the port was still under quarantine . They piled into a cab, flew to the hotel and checked in.

The suite was on the top floor, its wall-to-wall windows displaying a gorgeous view of the city. It really was a nice place, just like Liara had said. The living room connected to a small kitchen and eating area as well as a bathroom, with two bedrooms on either side, each furnished with a wide bed, side tables and lamps—everything they needed for the night, except for private accommodations for all of them.

Shepard marched around, surveying the available space, then she stopped in the middle of the living room and folded her arms in front of her chest with a nervous frown. "Okay. We have to decide who's going to bunk with whom."

During her years of military service she had gotten used to having to share living and sleeping quarters with others, but this was different. This meant having to actually share a _bed_ with one of her squad mates and, to tell the truth, she wasn't really looking forward to that. Well, she would have been fine—hell, more than fine—with having Garrus as a bunkmate, but she couldn't very well just come out and say, ' _All right, I'm taking Garrus. You two go and sleep in that other room.'_

Or... could she? After all, she was their freaking commander and it was up to her to make these kinds of decisions. And what if she chose her old friend to share a room with? And... make Mordin spend the whole night next to an assassin they'd just met... Dammit. She wasn't really keen on that idea either.

She stood there, chewing her lower lip as she pondered the pros and cons of each scenario, trying to come to some kind of resolution, but in the end she didn't have to. Mordin lifted a hand to cup his chin and declared in his usual no-nonsense manner, "Salarians only need one hour of sleep per night. Can do that on couch. Thane is new to group. Suggest Thane take one bedroom; Shepard and Vakarian take the other."

"You... have a point there," the commander replied, reaching behind her neck to rub it timidly. She did her best not to look at Garrus, because if she did, she knew her face would burst into flames and her lips would curve into an uncontrollable grin. It was all she could do to resist the temptation to throw her arms around Mordin and squeeze him tight and, if the relieved sighs she thought she'd heard coming from Thane's and Garrus's direction were any indication, they were as happy as she was with the salarian's suggestion.

"Which room do you prefer?" Thane asked, folding his hands behind his back and focusing his big, black eyes on Shepard. He couldn't have been more pleased with how things had turned out. He wasn't used to working in groups, let alone sleeping with a stranger in the same bed, and he was looking forward to the privacy his own bedroom would provide. He planned to meditate about the day's events then turn in for the night.

"Doesn't matter. I guess you can take that one." Shepard shrugged and tipped her head towards the room on the left.

"As you wish," he said with a little bow. "Good night," he added, then he turned around and retreated to his private little sanctuary.

"I'm going to take a shower," the commander declared as she headed to the bathroom. "Does anybody need the facilities first?"

There were no takers, so she closed the door behind her, stripped down and started the hot water.

 

* * *

 

She felt much better afterwards; the grime and sweat of the whole day had been washed away, her skin and hair were reasonably clean, and when she strolled into the living room in her undersuit, carrying the pieces of her armor in her arms, she couldn't hold back a happy little smile to see Mordin and Garrus, two of her favorite people in the world, sitting on the couch together.

Their attention was focused on the vid screen at the other end of the room. As she got closer, she realized what they were up to: they were watching the news about the drug raid in the docking port.

"Detective Anaya has assured us that her department has confiscated all the illegal shipments that Pitne For and his cohorts had smuggled into the various docking ports all over Illium," the newscaster said. "A few crates were damaged during the raids, and some of the space ports are under quarantine until the toxic gases can be cleared out. According to the Health Hazard Response Team, service to these areas will be restored by the morning."

"I should have only sent that data to Anaya once we were on the _Normandy_ ," Shepard groaned. "Well, anyway, I think I'm gonna head to be—"

"Coming up, Blasto—The Original Movie," a sultry voice announced, and Shepard stopped as she was, midstride, as she stared at the screen with an incredulous look on her face.

"My god, Blasto One," she said with a chuckle. "I was a kid when I first saw it, and it's still one of my favorites. It made me want to be a Spectre so bad."

"Same here." Garrus flared his mandibles at her with an excited grin; his eyes were twinkling with the joy of a little boy who had just been let loose in a candy store.

"Is that right?" She smiled back at him, her chest filling with warmth—it was good to see him so cheerful about something. "How about you, Mordin?" she asked, turning to the salarian.

"Never seen it."

Shepard and Garrus stared at him, their mouths hanging open in shock. They found it hard to believe that there was anybody in the galaxy who wasn't familiar with Blasto and all of his adventures.

"Huh? But it's a classic," Garrus finally said, shaking his head.

"Never paid attention to such matters; been too busy studying and working on more important things," Mordin replied with a scoff. He could never understand the allure of these fictitious stories. A good theatrical performance, preferably with music, was more in line with his style of relaxing after a hard day of compiling research data and running tests—and he hardly ever had time even for that little indulgence.

"All right. We're not leaving this hotel until you have been educated about the awesomeness that is Blasto," Shepard declared. "I'll be right back."

She hurried to the bedroom, put her armor in the corner, then went back to the living room and plopped down on the couch, right between her squad mates. "Let the show commence."

 

* * *

 

Blasto was as entertaining as ever—until Mordin began a running commentary about the scientific aspects and other failings of the film.

"Impossible," he remarked in a stern voice when a cruiser exploded and burst into flames during an exciting space battle.

"What is?" Shepard casually asked without tearing her eyes away from the screen.

"No oxygen in space. Ship would not burn. Very short initial ignition possible from internal oxygen; however, fire would stop quickly. No oxygen—no flames."

"Oh-kay." Shepard shrugged her shoulders. She hoped that this was going to be the extent of his observations, but Mordin was not done yet.

"Also, no sound in space."

"Fine. Can we just watch the movie now?"

"Yes."

A few minutes later, however, when a group of thugs surrounded the intrepid Spectre, each of them waiting for their turn to attack him, Mordin just had to say something again.

"Inefficient. No reason to attack one by one. Should take advantage of overwhelming number."

"Then the fight would be over too soon," Garrus smirked. "It's more fun this way."

"Criminals' objective should be to kill him quickly, not wait to be defeated."

"It's just a movie, Mordin," Shepard sighed. "It doesn't have to be perfectly logical. Just... be quiet and watch."

He was silent for a while, but it didn't take long before he found something else to complain about.

"Dead enemy's weapon better than detective's. Shouldn't have left it on floor."

"Mordin!" That was it; she was glaring at him now, ready to tape his mouth shut if she had to. "No more talking! That's an order."

He was going to say something else, but one look at the commander's face changed his mind. He nodded his head and didn't say a word after that.

It was nice not to have every little detail picked over and criticized, but now that she could finally relax and watch the movie in peace, Shepard soon found that she could barely keep her eyes open. Her head tipped down then jerked up a couple of times until it found its way onto Mordin's shoulder.

The salarian glanced down at her in mild surprise. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was even; she looked so peaceful that he hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should just let her sleep, but eventually decided that he had no intentions of sitting there the whole night, serving as a pillow for his commanding officer.

"Ahem," he coughed, his body shaking with the forceful movement of the air entering and exiting his lungs. It certainly did the trick: Shepard's head dislodged from his shoulder, she sat up straight, and her eyes snapped open.

"What?" she asked, looking back and forth between her two couch-mates.

"You were snoring," Garrus teased her, his mandibles flaring wide in an amused grin.

"No, I wasn't!"

"How would you know? You were unconscious."

"I. Do. Not. Snore." Shepard glared at Garrus, then she turned to Mordin for support. "Tell him."

"Did not hear loud breathing," the salarian agreed, then he tilted his head and remarked in his most serious doctor-tone, "If tired, perhaps should go to bed."

"I wasn't sleeping. I was just... resting my eyes."

"Riiight." Garrus was still smirking, which made her really, really want to punch him in the arm, but she wasn't wearing her gloves and he was still in his full armor—violent contact with the hard metal wouldn't have ended very well for her knuckles. Instead, she turned her attention back to the screen with a scowl and pretended to ignore him.

She forced her eyes to stay open, but they only obeyed her for a few minutes. After a while they insisted on closing again, and this time her head decided to find a resting place on Garrus's upper arm. He sat there, unable to move or breathe as she cuddled up to him, and he wondered if they could stay like this, right on this couch, the whole night. He finally came to the conclusion that no matter how much he liked having her press her body into him like that, she needed to sleep on a real bed, so he jiggled his arm carefully in an effort to wake her up.

"Shepard." No answer. "Shepard, you should go to bed."

"Hmm," she murmured, but she didn't move. Apparently she was either too tired or too far gone to actually open her eyes, get up and walk into the bedroom on her own two feet.

"Mordin," Garrus whispered to the salarian, "help me get her into bed."

Mordin nodded and stood up, and he watched as Garrus put his arms around the sleeping commander. He picked her up and carried her to the empty room, her head on his shoulder and her arms instinctively wrapping around his neck. Mordin opened the door, then hurried to the bed and pulled back the covers so that Garrus could deposit her on the mattress. Once she curled up on her side, mumbling something about how damned tired she was, he covered her with a blanket, then tipped his head at the turian and retreated to the living room.

Garrus peeled off his armor as quietly as he could. He piled all the pieces in a corner and safely out of the way, then he slid under the sheets, trying not to jostle the bed too much. Shepard was motionless, facing away from him, and as he lay there, listening to the air softly going in and out of her lungs, he couldn't help but wish that she was still pressed into his side, just like she'd been on the couch, and he could hold her tight through the night.

He didn't think that he'd be able to sleep like this, with her warm body less than an arm's length away, but his eyelids disagreed. They became heavier and heavier, and in a matter of minutes he dozed off. It had been a long, hard day and even a turian's stamina couldn't hold out forever. He fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, and didn't even feel it when Shepard rolled over, snuggled up to him as close as she could, and put her arm around his waist.


	13. A Dimly Lit Room

Shepard awoke with a startle. She gasped for air, clutching the sheets tightly in her hands, and her eyes snapped open to stare into the darkness around her. For a moment all she could hear was the wild pounding of her own heart; it took her brain a few seconds to accept the fact that she wasn't on the operating table anymore, wincing from pain while blurry figures leaned over her, saying words she could barely understand. She ordered her limbs to stop trembling and was about to sit up when something warm pressed against her back and a strong arm wrapped around her waist.

"You okay?" Garrus murmured, nuzzling her neck from behind.

"Yeah," she whispered softly. She leaned back against him. "I'm fine."

"Good." He emitted a low, rumbling sound, which she found quite soothing, then he was quiet again.

She lay there, listening to him inhale and exhale in a slow rhythm, his large frame curling around her smaller form and enveloping her body like a cozy cocoon. If somebody had told her two and a half years ago that the young and brash turian that had just joined her team to hunt down Saren would one day become the only person in the whole world who could make her feel so whole, so wanted, so accepted, she would have laughed them out of the room. And yet, here they were now, best friends nestling together under the blanket, sharing their lives, their battles and their bed, and she could not imagine a day without him anymore.

A rare feeling of peace and contentment filled her chest, her eyelids closed, and she almost dozed off with a happy little smile on her face when her bladder rudely interrupted her bliss to remind her of all the water she'd gulped down at the restaurant the night before. She made a valiant attempt to resist the insistent call of the bathroom, not willing to tear herself away from the comfortable sanctuary of Garrus's embrace, but it didn't work. She finally gave up with an exasperated sigh and began to slowly extricate herself from his firm grasp without waking him up, but he just pulled her back and held her that much tighter.

"Don't go." His subharmonics, deep and rich and groggy, resonated in the silence of the room, reverberating throughout her body from the top of her head right down to her toes.

"I'll be back," she whispered, doing her best to ignore the heat building up in her groin just from hearing him say those words like that. "I have to go pee."

"Okay. Hurry back," he mumbled and, as far as she could tell, he went back to sleep.

 

* * *

 

As she stumbled out into the living room, squinting her eyes to block out the bright lights, she was vaguely aware of Mordin sitting at the kitchen table, but she paid him no attention while she staggered on to her destination.

She went through the motions on auto-pilot, but by the time she emerged from the bathroom, she was somewhat more awake, so she decided to check on her favorite salarian.

"Have you had any sleep yet?" she asked as she stopped in front of him on the other side of the table.

He seemed to be working on something on his omni-tool, his fingers flying over the controls as he scrolled through pages after pages of numbers and charts on the holo display.

"Not yet. Been going through research data. Compiling results, making hypotheses. Taking advantage of peace and quiet."

"I see. Are you sure you'll be comfortable on the couch—whenever you've had enough and decide to finally get some rest?"

"Yes."

"All right then, I'm going to get back to bed. Good night, Mordin."

"Good night, Shepard."

She was almost at the door when he called after her. "Shepard. Actually... would like to discuss some... medical matters."

She turned around with a sigh. Did he really want to chat _right now_? "Can't it wait till the morning? I was in the middle of some... sleeping, you know," she replied, stifling a yawn.

"Might be relevant soon. Maybe even tonight," he said, his tone so sincere and urgent that she found herself taking a few steps forward. When he gestured at the chair opposite him, she sat down without hesitation.

"All right." She leaned forward and folded her hands over the table, giving him her undivided attention. "What's this all about?"

"Aware that mission is dangerous," he started in an intent voice, gesturing enthusiastically, as if he was giving a most fascinating presentation at a scientific conference. "Danger causes stress hormone buildup. Different species deal with stress in different ways. Hanar pray to the Enkindlers. Krogan fight more than usual. Batarians—"

"Mordin!" She raised her hand with a frown; she was _not_ going to sit here patiently and listen to him go on and on about the coping mechanisms of all the known races of the galaxy. Not when there was a warm bed waiting for her just a few feet away—and especially not when that bed came with Garrus. "Is there a point to this?"

"Yes," he replied with an earnest nod of his head. "Sexual activity normal response to tension for humans and turians. Still, recommend caution. Differences in anatomy, skin structure. Human skin easily bruised, irritated by turian plating—"

"What?" She must have heard wrong. Or maybe she was actually in bed at this moment, and this was just a dream. No way was Mordin sitting there at a kitchen table in the middle of the night, talking to her about interspecies sex. She stared at the animated salarian, her cheeks flushed and her ears burning, and she wondered if she should get up and make her escape before he had the chance to say anything else.

"Noticed sexual tension with Vakarian," he explained. Taking note of the slight change in her coloring, which, according to what he knew about human physiological processes, most likely indicated a degree of discomfort, he quickly added, "No need to be ashamed. Physical attraction natural occurrence when team mates spend extended periods of time together. Bit unusual between humans and turians though..." His voice drifted off and his large eyes lost their focus as he pondered the issue, tapping his lips with a long finger.

"You noticed..."

"Of course. Was quite evident all day. Long looks, flirting, blushing, innuendo." He ticked off the symptoms on his fingers as he explained his diagnosis. "Recommend sexual activity to relieve tension. Will help alleviate distractions during mission. However, like mentioned, advise caution. Turian skin much tougher than humans'. Risk of chafing."

"No kidding," she muttered under her breath, remembering her raw thighs after her night of passion with Garrus. "Yeah, about that... Is there something to help with the, uh, chafing?"

"Can supply ointment." He lifted his arm and pushed some buttons on his omni-tool as he continued, "Also, sending files about erogenous zones, comfortable positions for both parties. Visual aids very helpful. Will forward relevant data to Vakarian as well." He brought up some charts on the holo display and studied them for a few seconds. He nodded his head agreeably at whatever it was that he was reading, then he looked up and declared, "No history of allergies on either side. Still, foreign,' he coughed gently, his eyelids fluttering for a second, "material may cause allergic reaction. If having difficulty breathing, swelling, hives—notify me immediately. Will administer necessary medication."

"Umm... thanks, Mordin." She glanced at her omni-tool, but decided to check those files he'd sent later—in private. As fascinating (and embarrassing) as this conversation had been, she'd had quite enough of talking about her sex life with him. She got up and headed to the bedroom, trying to walk with as much dignity as she could still muster.

"Shepard," Mordin's voice, warmer than ever, reached after her, "enjoy this time you have. Live life to the fullest. Omega-4 relay may be last mission. Don't go through it with regrets."

She stopped in her tracks, contemplating his words for a few seconds before she turned around with a smile. She tipped her head in thanks, then she disappeared behind the door.

 

* * *

 

The panels slid closed, banishing the harsh light that had poured in from the living room, and she had to stand still for a few seconds to let her eyes adjust to the sudden darkness.

After a while the different pieces of furniture gradually started to become distinguishable in the dim lights of the city filtering in through the window curtains and the low glow emanating from the radio clock on the nightstand. She took a couple of tentative steps towards the bed, arms outstretched, ready to grab unto something, should she start to fall.

There was no sound other than the shuffling of her feet on the carpeted floor, and when her knees bumped into the side of the mattress, she bent down to lift the covers and slid under them as quickly and quietly as she could.

She had no intentions of waking Garrus up, surmising that he was in deep sleep by this time, but she longed to be near him again, so she scooted as close to his bulky form as she could without actually touching him. She settled down on her side, turning her body towards him, then she closed her eyes and hoped that she was going to be able to go to sleep soon.

"You're back," his drowsy voice broke the silence of the room as he reached out and put his hand on her hip. "I missed you."

"Sorry. Mordin insisted on giving me a talk."

"About what?"

"Us."

There was a moment of hesitation before he raised his head to try to get a better look at her in the dark. "Us, as in... you and I?"

"Yeah. I guess we've been a bit more obvious than we thought. He noticed the... tension... between us." She ran her fingers through her hair with a sigh. "We did behave like sex crazed teenagers, didn't we? We can't let that happen again, Garrus. We're professionals. Can't jeopardize the mission."

He froze, fear clenching his chest so hard that he could barely breathe. Was she ending their relationship before it even had a chance to blossom into something more than just one night of blowing off steam? He cursed himself for not having been able to keep his damn mouth shut. He'd screwed it up, just like he'd known he would. He swallowed hard and forced out the question that tore at his heart, "So... you want to, uh, stop this... thing... between us?"

"No, just the shameless flirting during missions." She touched his mandible with a gentle hand and cupped his face, stroking his cheek with her thumb. "In fact, Mordin encouraged us to... ease tension together." She let out an awkward chuckle, and he decided then and there that that sound had to be the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard.

"Well, you know he is a genius—we should definitely follow his advice." He drank in the peals of her laughter like parched land soaks in a long awaited rain, and he slid his hand up along her back to bury his fingers in the soft strands of her hair.

"You're going to get some files from him," she smirked as she moved her hand down to his carapace, feeling for the vibrations that she thought she could hear emanating from his chest.

"What files?"

" _Visual aids,_ " she said in a suggestive tone. Had it not been too dark to see, she would have wiggled her eyebrows, too, but she achieved her goal even without that extra little gesture: she could hear the toothy grin in his voice when he moved closer and replied in a husky voice, "Who needs visual aids when I have the real thing right here?"

The next moment there was a nip at her earlobe and a textured tongue on her neck, and she had to make a concentrated effort to remember to breathe as a strong three-fingered hand wandered down her shoulder, then her arm, only to move forward and finally come to rest on the swell of her breast.

"Oh god," she moaned, biting into her lower lip as he gently squeezed the soft flesh. "Don't tempt me, Garrus."

"Why not?" His hot breath fanned out over that little spot behind her ear that she'd always found so sensitive, setting off a surge of desire that radiated from the pit of her stomach right down to her groin.

"Mordin's still awake. And he's right out there, beyond that door."

"So? He can't hear us through that thick metal."

He drew a blunted talon slowly across her hardened nipple, then bent down to take it into his mouth through the fabric of her undersuit. Her breath caught in her throat and she instinctively grabbed onto his fringe as he massaged her breast, earning her an appreciative rumble that reverberated through her body. It was getting hard to think, let alone talk, but she managed to choke out in between the lustful whimpers that escaped her throat, "What about the walls? And what if his hearing is as sharp as his... ahh... mind?"

"Then you'll just have to keep quiet," he drawled, lifting his head to press his mouth against her soft lips, just like he'd learned the night before. "Besides," he continued as he broke the kiss, "he's the one who's said that we should relieve all that tension. We're just, uh, following doctor's orders."

His hand left her breast and slowly coasted down her stomach to her lower belly, stopping just out of reach of its final destination. His index finger gently pushed on her pubic bone but didn't move, no matter how maddeningly hard it was to control his urge to go further. He was taking a risk, but he could feel her tremble under his touch and could hear her breathing getting shallow, so he went ahead with his plan and whispered into her ear, "But if you want me to stop..."

She made a small, barely-audible keening sound as she tightened her grip on his fringe. She groaned, sliding her hand to the back of his neck and raking her nails over the sensitive skin there, "Playing dirty, Vakarian?"

"Well, you know... all's fair in love and war," he chuckled. She couldn't argue with that—not that she really wanted to. Her groin was throbbing with desire and when he pressed his knee between her legs and raised her upper thigh to give him better access, she pushed her hips forward in a silent plea.

His touch was feather-light as he stroked her slowly, deliberately through the fabric, timing his movements to the rise and fall of her breathing. He increased the pressure and his tempo when her lips found a mandible and took it into her mouth, suckling on it gently. Her hand moved forward to clench and release his cowl in a steady rhythm as he kept working on her, then glided down his carapace in search of that secret slit between his legs. She noted with a self-satisfied grin that he was already rock hard and ready for her, but when he slid his fingers upward and snaked them underneath the waistband of her pants all the way down to her center, she lost all coherent thought. She let out a gasp and threw her head back as he circled her swollen bud, and it didn't take much more than a few strokes like that and a curled finger pressing into her wetness just the right way to push her over the edge.

She buried her face into the crook of his neck to muffle her cries as she came, her body shuddering and shaking on the bed and her hand clinging onto his arm. He kept up his ministrations until she went limp with a last sigh and reached up to stroke his face from his brow line down to his jaw.

The angles of the hardened plates covering his forehead and cheeks were a stark contrast to the smooth features of a human male, but she didn't care anymore. She started to love the bumpy feel of his natural armor and the soft, leathery skin in the valleys between them. The way he nuzzled her neck, purring into her ear and sharing the vibrations between their bodies, filled her with so much affection and contentment that she thought her heart was going to burst.

Her hand slid down his front until it found its way onto that hard bulge she'd encountered before and she stroked its length a few times, drawing out a desperate groan from him. He pressed his forehead to hers as he quivered under her fingertips, his breathing heavy and shallow, and let out a soft growl when her caress turned into a firm squeeze.

Her name tumbled off his tongue like a reverent prayer, his rich, deep, flanging voice setting off that delicious jolt of heat in her groin again. At that moment she decided that she couldn't care less if Mordin was right there in the room, taking notes and evaluating their performance. Hell, the whole crew of the _Normandy_ could have been present and she would have paid them no attention. She wanted Garrus; she wanted him with every fiber of her being. In the blink of an eye she turned into a deadly predator with lust in her eyes as she pushed him on his back and started to tug his pants off.

He reached for her own underarmor, trying to do the same, but he had no luck with the zipper, so she abandoned her task and quickly pulled off the lower part of her clothing, panties and all. By the time she turned back to him, he had already gotten rid of his own coverings, and she wasted no time climbing over him, straddling his waist. She took hold of his hard shaft and guided it to her entrance, then she slowly sank down, taking him in by an agonizing inch by inch. His hands glided up along her thighs onto her hips and waist as she started to rock back and forth, holding onto his cowl, feeling the reverberations from the rumble in his chest through her hands and groin.

They moved together in perfect harmony, back and forth and up and down, slowly and tenderly first, then faster and harder as the heat built up in their centers and demanded release. He loved the way she moaned in rhythm with his thrusts and arched her back when he reached up and slid his hands under her shirt to cup her breasts, and she couldn't get enough of his purrs and growls as she drew him in with every stroke.

It wasn't long before the first waves of pleasure crashed over them with a blinding explosion of stars. She bent down to press her lips against his mouth as he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her tight until their tremors subsided and all that was left was their breathless panting and the fierce beating of their hearts.

She lay on his chest, boneless and content, her head tucked under his chin, until she could gather up enough energy to roll off and settle down by his side. He turned to face her, touching his forehead against hers and wrapping an arm around her waist and asked, his subharmonics still a little out of control, "So... you still wanna shoot Pitne For?"

"Nah," she snorted, "He can live."

"Plan to bust him out of jail now?"

"Let's not get carried away."

He laughed, the hum of his voice engulfing her whole being, spreading warmth and peace through every inch of her body. She closed her eyes with a smile, took a deep breath and started to drift off.

The room was silent for a while, and he thought that she'd gone to sleep, but he suddenly felt her warm little hand on his carapace as she murmured, her voice deep and groggy, "Garrus. I'm glad you're here with me."

 _'I love you,'_ he wanted to say, but his brain stopped him. ' _She's not ready'_ , it said. _'Don't screw this up'_ , it insisted. So he swallowed those words and gave a little squeeze to her waist as he purred, "There's no place I'd rather be."


	14. Welcome, New Members

For the first time since he'd left Kahje all those years ago, Thane woke up to the urgent pinging of the alarm on his omni-tool. It was set to go off at 0600 hours every morning, but he'd always wake up well before then. He'd spend most of his nights staring at the ceiling, mentally checking off his list of kills he'd carried out or still needed to accomplish, planning, preparing, rehearsing every move, every detail in his head. Other times he'd be consumed by his memories, reliving moments of his life—some good, some bad, all of them etched into his brain with the indelible ink of a drell's mind. After a while he would doze off, only to wake up again a short time later, his soul refusing to grant him respite until he fulfilled the goal he'd set for himself after Irikah's death.

And now it was finished; his last mission executed, Nassana dead, the galaxy a little brighter place than before.

His having survived the night was somewhat unexpected; he had fully accepted the possibility that when it was all over, he might not come out of the Dantius Towers alive. Yet here he was now, in a hotel suite with a group of strangers, given one last chance to atone for his sins, and he was eternally grateful to the Gods that they had deemed him worthy of this.

His lust for revenge had been satisfied, the dark spot that had been eating away at his spirit had been extinguished, and he finally felt at peace. Perhaps this was why he had slept so well—better than any other night for the last ten years.

He lay in bed for a few minutes, contemplating his past and opening up his body and soul to the future. He let out one last cleansing breath then got up, put on his coat that he had carefully placed on a hanger in the closet, and strolled out into the living room.

He found the salarian sitting at the kitchen table, absorbed in a text he was reading on the holo display of his omni-tool while sipping some kind of steaming liquid from a blue cup. Mordin, he remembered his name was, looked up and nodded at him in greeting, then he nudged his head towards the counter in the corner of the room. "Hot drinks available for different species. Might be something suitable for drell."

Thane gave a small bow in thanks, then he walked over to the cupboards to see if he could find any _emdan_ tea. The kitchen was indeed well equipped; it came with a hot water dispenser, which had already been filled and turned on, and there were several containers of teas and other drinks for the different races the hotel accommodated, as well as condiments and sweeteners in little jars. He picked up a packet of herbal tea, placed it in a mug, and poured some boiling water over it. The liquid instantly turned bright green, and a pleasant scent filled the air. As he took a deep breath to inhale it, his mind flashed back to those early mornings so many years ago when he would come out of the bedroom to find his usual drink and breakfast, steaming hot, waiting for him on the table. He was lost in those memories for a few seconds, until he was suddenly brought back to the present by the nagging feeling that he was being watched. He turned around to find Mordin looking at him over his cup, his head tilted and his eyes focused on him with intent precision.

Thane picked up his mug, strolled over to the kitchen table, and took a seat on the chair opposite the salarian. They sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks, enjoying this little morning ritual that they seemed to share.

Mordin was the first one to talk. He'd been pondering over what Thane had said the day before and decided that this was as good a time as ever to approach the subject. "Heard you have a disease. Dying from it. Am a doctor myself–maybe can help."

"You cannot," the assassin replied calmly. "I have Kepral's Syndrome."

"Ah, yes, am familiar with it. Hanar are working on cure. Lung transplant may prolong life. Considered it?"

"I have been offered to be put on the waiting list, but I declined."

Mordin regarded the drell with undisguised curiosity. Most people would do anything to lengthen their lives, no matter how small the chance of survival, and he wondered what made this man so ready to throw his life away. A transplant might keep him alive long enough for him to reap the benefits of the drug trials being done on Kahje at the moment—in fact, Mordin had recently read a research paper about the tests, and, as far as he could remember, they were rather promising.

He made a mental note to look up the latest data about the disease and was about to ask Thane about his state of health when the bedroom door on their right opened and Shepard staggered out.

"Mornin'," she mumbled as she passed by them, her hair tussled and her eyes wincing at the bright lights, and she headed to the bathroom to clean up.

She was soon followed by Garrus, who looked equally sleepy and exhausted. He grunted a greeting at Mordin and Thane, then he trudged over to the kitchen counter to look for some _kava_. He fumbled around, yawning, until he found what he'd been searching for. He fixed a cup for himself, then he walked over to the table and sat down, nursing the hot drink in his hands and taking slow, careful slurps.

Shepard emerged from the bathroom a couple of minutes later, looking decidedly more awake than before.

"I hope they have coffee," she said as she walked into the kitchen.

"Am quite certain I've seen some. Also, started hot water," Mordin noted. Since he'd joined her crew, he had frequently witnessed her need for that strong liquid stimulant in the mornings. It smelled vile, but it seemed to have a magic effect on her, as it managed to turn her from an irritable dictator into a levelheaded leader without fail.

"You're the best, Mordin." She flashed him a grateful smile as she made her way to the table with her newly acquired espresso in her hand and sat down on the last available chair.

Mordin gave her a quick nod. "Happy to help." 

Thane watched the scene in front of him with detached interest. Mordin turned his attention back to his tea, savoring every drop with a delighted flutter of his eyelids, and Shepard and Garrus took turns teasing each other and the salarian, who made some wisecracks of his own. There was an obviously strong bond and close camaraderie between these three, which, he surmised, must have been forged in countless battles and difficult situations.

Having someone dependable to rely on certainly had its allure, but Thane had never had that luxury. He had no experience working within a group, having done all his missions on his own ever since the hanar had sent him on his first official kill. He couldn't help but wonder now if one day he would be sitting somewhere with these people and chat and joke and laugh with them just like they were doing now.

 

* * *

 

According to the morning news, the ports were finally open for business, so, after a quick breakfast in the hotel's eatery, they checked out and headed to the _Normandy_. First, however, they stopped by a nearby storage facility to pick up Thane's belongings, which he had stashed in one of the lockers.

Once they were finally on board, Mordin hurried back to his lab, Garrus disappeared in the elevator, and Shepard took Thane to the conference room to get him acquainted with the layout of the ship. She pointed out important areas on the holo projection and he listened attentively, his large eyes focused on the orange shape floating above the oval table. She was almost done with her little presentation when Jacob walked in, stopped by the door, and leaned against its frame, folding his arms in front of his chest.

The commander raised an eyebrow at the armory officer. Was there something he wanted?

"I've heard impressive things about you," Jacob started, his eyes boring into Thane's. "You should be a valuable addition to the team. That is, if you're comfortable with an assassin watching your back," he added, turning to Shepard with a disdainful look.

Shepard couldn't believe her ears. What the hell was he thinking, coming in and insulting their new recruit the moment he'd set foot on the ship? "You have a problem, Jacob?"

"I just don't like mercenaries. And an assassin is nothing but a precise mercenary."

Shepard let out a small groan. "Be sure to discuss your feelings with Zaeed, too. And while you're at it, why don't you tell Kasumi how you feel about thieves? It will do wonders for crew morale."

"I've accepted a contract. My arm is Shepard's," Thane interjected.

Jacob shrugged his shoulders. "Uh-huh. Don't know about you, but I'm loyal to more than my paycheck." His contempt burnt through every hard syllable he pressed out between his clenched teeth.

"Actually, he's doing this mission for free," Shepard said, shaking her head with an exasperated sigh. "But if you have an issue with this, you can always bring it up with the Illusive Man. I'm sure he'll appreciate his subordinate telling him what a mistake he'd made by suggesting Thane Krios for our team. I can put in a conference call for you, if you wish."

"That won't be necessary." Jacob gave her a stiff salute and finally left the room.

Shepard glanced at Thane apologetically, but he didn't seem to be fazed by the exchange. He stood there calmly, his hands clasped behind his back, as he asked, "Where shall I put my things?"

 

* * *

 

Thane safely tucked away in life support and the course laid in for Haestrom, Shepard felt like she could finally breathe easy—at least until they arrived at their destination.

She took her usual rounds on the ship, checking on the systems and the crew, had a chat with her two newest squad members, then finally retreated to her cabin. She needed to file some reports about the recruitment missions and study all available data on the planet they were heading to. There wasn't a lot of information on record, but she did find out about the intense radiation on the surface and the possibility of encountering geth while searching for Tali.

There was also a message from the Illusive Man, informing her of an experimental heavy weapon they had delivered to the _Normandy_ while she was away. Always happy to try a new plaything, she decided that she was going to give it a workout on their mission, especially since it seemed like it would be useful against geth, should they come across any.

Hunching over her computer always made her neck stiff, so after a while she got up, rolled her head and stretched her back, and decided to go down and have a chat with Garrus.

 

* * *

 

"Hey," she said to his back when she entered the main battery. Naturally he was at his console, as always, tapping away on the display.

"Shepard. Need me for something?" He turned around to look at her, his voice warm and comforting. His blue eyes sparkled with affection and curiosity, and for a second she almost forgot what she came down here for.

"Umm... yeah. I hope you're not in the middle of some long calibration sequence?"

"No, I'm just running some firing algorithms. You know, for fun." His mandibles flared out in a grin as he leaned back against the console. "Why?"

"We'll be at Haestrom in a couple of hours and I wanted to let you know that I want you on the team. Survey data says that there's intense radiation on the surface. It might mess with our shields, so maybe you could fiddle around and see if you could enhance them somehow?"

"I'll see what I can do. Who else is coming?"

"I'm taking Thane. I want to see how he does in a group, how well he follows orders, you know, all that stuff."

He seemed to chew this over for a while before he gave a small nod. "Well, we've seen his sniping skills, so there should be no issues there. Hopefully he won't be a problem when it comes to team work, but I'll keep an eye on him. Just to be sure."

"Thanks, Garrus." She walked over to the railing and leaned her hip against it as she turned towards him with a smile. "I'm pretty sure that everything will go well. He actually seems like a decent guy. Interesting character; much more sophisticated and spiritual than I expected."

"Oh?" Now he was sure that he'd have to keep an eye on him. On the battlefield and off.

"Yeah. You should talk to him sometime."

"Okay." _Oh, he definitely was going to have a chat with him. Especially if he made the mistake of stepping out of line._

"All right, I'll let you get back to your calculations. ETA is 2 hours; be at the shuttle by then." She pushed away from the railing and headed to the door, but before she'd reach it, she turned back with a grin. "Guess what? I've got a new toy and I'm taking it with me. It's called a... wait, what was it? Oh yeah, an Arc Projector. It's supposed to emit a lightning-like bolt that can jump from target to target. I can't wait to try it out."

Her eyes crinkled with so much joy and excitement that he immediately forgot all about his concerns regarding the assassin.

"I bet," he laughed.

She winked at him then walked through the door, leaving behind a warm feeling in his chest that stayed with him for a long time even after he'd turned back to his computations.

 

* * *

 

Haestrom was hot and miserable, and the unfiltered rays of the sun burned a hole in their shields even faster than they'd expected. Garrus's modifications helped some, but they still had to run through exposed areas as quickly as they could and hope that they would be able to get into shade in time before their shields gave out.

The first confirmation they found of Tali being on the planet was a log entry by a dead quarian soldier; apparently she and her team had been gathering some kind of data when the geth attacked. It was good to know that their intel was correct about Tali being here, but the actual presence of the geth was troubling, to say the least. They pushed on, guns at the ready and their senses on full alert. Their arrival must have been picked up by the synthetics, for within a few minutes a dropship appeared in the sky and the plaza ahead of them filled with enemy troops.

They tried to stay in the shadows while they fought the incoming waves, dodging bullets and moving ahead from crate to crate, until everything was quiet again—at least for a short time. They found a few more geth around the corner and eliminated them quickly, and eventually they came upon another dead marine with a radio, the anxious voice of his comrade calling over the air waves in vain.

Shepard pried the equipment from the soldier's cold, stiff fingers and answered the call. It was Kal'Reegar, the quarians' squad leader on the line. He brought Shepard and her team up to speed on the situation, confirming, much to the commander's relief, that Tali was still alive, albeit pinned down by geth at a secure location.

"All right, hold your position; we'll be there soon," Shepard said, ready to move out. "We'll hit them from the back and—"

"Wait! Watch your ass! Dropship coming in!" Kal's urgent voice crackled over the radio, its crescendo punctuated by the blasts from a geth ship. The explosions instantly killed the last group of marines that was still fighting in the area and knocked down a massive column across the square, which landed right in front of the door to base camp.

"Kal, we can't get to the door; a damn pillar is blocking the way now," Shepard yelled into the speaker.

"There are some demolition charges in the buildings nearby. Use them to clear a path!"

It was a good plan—an excellent plan—except the place turned out to be crawling with geth. Regardless, Shepard signaled her team to take up positions to flank the enemy, and they worked together beautifully, weakening the shields and armor of the synthetics before they finished them off with their guns or Thane threw them against a wall with his impressive biotics.

When there was a short lull in the firefight, they managed to grab the first set of explosives, but the interlude didn't last long. Soon another wave of geth flooded the area, nearly overwhelming their location. It was getting difficult to hold them off.

"What about that miracle weapon? Isn't it time to give it a try?" Garrus shouted over the cacophony of the bullets.

"Not yet!" Shepard yelled back. "I have limited ammo for it; I don't want to use them up too soon!"

As it turned out, she didn't have to. Soon the last trooper fell, its mechanical limbs twitching only for a few seconds before silence settled on the ruins again, and they were finally able to get the rest of the charges and blow up the pillar that had been blocking their way.

The room behind the door turned out to be abandoned, its only occupants a few destroyed geth and some left-behind equipment. As they approached the back wall, a holo display lit up over a console and Tali's voice filled the air.

"Tali'Zorah to base camp. Come in, base camp. Is there anybody there? Base camp, come in," she pleaded as the picture of her mask flickered up on the holographic screen.

The commander stepped up to the console and pushed the reply button. "Tali, it's Shepard. Are you okay?"

"Shepard? Not that I'm complaining, but what are you doing here?"

"I came to help. Sorry I didn't get here sooner; all the marines here are dead. The rest must have pulled back. What's the situation over there?"

"Thanks for coming, Shepard. It's really good to hear your voice. Kal'Reegar and his team have put me up in the observatory. It's through the door and across the field. I've got the data we came here for, but can't get out with all the geth outside."

"Is there anybody there with you?"

"Kal and his marines were outside to protect me. Some of them must still be alive, because I can hear them shooting."

"Looks like the door has been sealed from the inside, but the panel is damaged," Shepard said as she glanced at the exit leading to Tali's location. "Can you override the lock from your position?"

"Let me see... Yes, I got it. Be careful, and Shepard... please do whatever you can to keep Kal alive."

The lock turned green and the team pushed on, and soon enough they found themselves in the field that Tali had mentioned. The groups of drones and geth hunters defending it didn't have a chance against Garrus's overload and Thane's warp or their rifles, though one of the cloaked hunters managed to get dangerously close to Shepard's position, knocking out her shields, before she blew its head off with a well-placed shot.

They entered another building soon after that and found a room with metal shutters over its bank of windows. The control panel still worked, and the push of a button raised the covers, revealing another large area beyond the room that was teeming with geth and, of all things, a Colossus.

They barely had time to let out a groan at the sight of that wretched machine when it blasted a rocket right at their position. They dove for cover and scarcely avoided getting torn to pieces by its explosive round. Once the dust settled, they picked themselves up, coughing, and moved out, more determined than ever to put a stop to all this.

They found Kal'Reegar in the next room, injured but still alive, and he gave a rundown of the situation. All his squad members were dead, but Tali was still alive, stuck behind a sealed door across the field with geth bearing down on her location, doing their best to get to her. That damned Colossus took out everything that moved, healing itself if it was damaged. The pathway on the left was crawling with geth, the catwalk on the right had a sniper monitoring the area, and the middle was exposed to fire from, well, basically everywhere.

"All right, we'll take it from here," Shepard declared, surveying the playing field and already formulating a plan in her head.

"I still have a working rocket launcher," Kal said, waving the impressive looking weapon in his hand. "I can give you cover; maybe even weaken the shields of the Colossus."

"You've done enough. Like I said, we'll handle this!" Shepard pulled her eyebrows into a frown, hoping that her commander voice carried over to quarian military culture as well.

Apparently not quite, since Kal protested, "I wasn't asking for your permission—"

"Sit your ass down! You need to stay here and watch our backs! Is that understood?" She was yelling by now, and apparently that did the trick, because he sat back on his heels and nodded his head.

"Good luck, Shepard," was all he said, and he watched them, with a bit of sadness and guilt, as they moved further ahead and crouched behind the wall, huddling together to discuss their strategy.

"All right," the commander started, "let's try to take out as many of them from here as we can before we move onto that catwalk on the right. I want to take that higher position as we approach the back."

Thane sighted his rifle on the sniper on the catwalk, Shepard concentrated her fire on the geth on the left side, and Garrus started picking off the enemy coming towards them in the middle. Troopers and hunters seemed to pour out from every hole, threatening to overwhelm their location. Garrus barked, his voice getting urgent, "How about trying that new weapon NOW?!"

"Fine," Shepard sighed. She grabbed the Arc Projector off her back, charged it, and pulled the trigger, then watched in awe as a lightning bolt hit its target and weaved its way through a whole group, instantly frying their electrical systems and dropping them to the ground. "Yeah!" she yelled triumphantly. "I love this gun!"

Garrus laughed, and even the unflappable assassin allowed a small smile to curl the corners of his lips. The enemy sufficiently reduced in numbers, they headed onto the catwalk, dodging the rocket blasts from Colossus as well as the cruel and persistent rays of the sun as they pushed on to get into a favorable spot to deal with the rest of their adversaries.

Shepard rushed ahead and dove behind a low wall, then popped up to take out the enemy below them. Everything went well until she heard Thane yell, "Look out!" and the next moment she smelled the telltale burn of her shields and felt the pummeling of the bullets trying to break through her defenses as a cloaked hunter appeared behind her and fired at her at close range. Her heart jumped into her throat and panic suddenly rose in her chest as she realized how careless she had been, not having paid attention to her surroundings, before her training kicked in and she threw a stasis field on the shimmering form looming above her. 'Thank you, Liara,' she thought, never happier than now that her friend had taught her this move. She ran into cover while she waited for the effect to wear off before she could do some shooting of her own.

Thane, meanwhile, jumped up, taking aim at the geth, only to be hit by another one's bullet and crumple to the ground.

"Shit," Shepard groaned, but she had to tear her gaze away from her bleeding squadmate as the hunter began to fall. She emptied her SMG into it until it stopped twitching, then she ran to Thane's body and pulled him into the shade.

Garrus ran up to their location and dropped an encroaching enemy with his rifle. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah. The radiation did some further damage, but he's still alive." She smeared medi-gel onto Thane's wound and waited for it to take effect while she popped up from behind the wall to pepper another group with bullets.

Thane slowly came to, opening his eyes to the sight of his two team members by his side firing at the enemy. The medication was stinging the wound in his shoulder, and his throat was dry and scratchy from the dust he'd inhaled while on the ground. He coughed, muttered a thanks, and joined in the fight without a second thought. Having others to rely on was definitely a nice thing, and he wasn't going to let them down now; he was going to give them his all, just like they'd done for him or they would do for each other. This was a new life, a new way of fighting, and he had to admit that he liked it—he liked it quite a lot.

"Let's finish this bastard off," Shepard growled as she took out her Arc Projector and aimed it at the Colossus. "Garrus, work on its shields; Thane, do your thing, and I'm gonna have fun with my new toy."

Her plan worked amazingly well: Garrus's overload and the charges from the heavy weapon cut the mechanical monster's shields and armor away as if it was made out of butter. One more warp from Thane, and the machine exploded into a ball of electrical sparks, then it finally collapsed into a heap of scrap metal.

Once everything had gone quiet, they slowly stood up to survey the battlefield. Satisfied that there were no more geth left to fight, they could finally approach the door, which Tali had unlocked for them, and stroll into the room to find the quarian downloading the last bits of data that all this had been done for.

"Thank you, Shepard," she said as she switched the console off, then she turned around and almost dropped the pistol in her hand when she saw her old commander's companions. "Garrus?! You're with Shepard? But how—"

"It's good to see you, Tali." His voice rumbled warmly. "I'll tell you all about it once we're back on the ship. Long story."

"All right, I've helped out with your mission. Now can you come with me and help me with mine?" Shepard asked. Her eyes twinkled with hope and her lips curved into a small smile.

"I'll deliver this data to the Admiralty Board and let them know that I'll be joining your crew. If they don't like it, they can all go to hell. I've just watched my whole team die for this." Tali waved her hand at the console next to her, her voice angrier and more bitter than they'd ever heard from the young quarian.

"Not the whole team," a voice said from behind them; Kal was limping in, holding his side with one hand. He had stayed put where he was, as he had been ordered, but he had fired off a few shots of his own, and shrapnel from a retaliating trooper's gun had managed to punch another hole in his suit. "Your old commander is as good as you'd said, ma'am. I can see why you want to go with her."

"Kal!" Tali, for once, was grateful for her mask, for it hid the tears of relief that welled up in her eyes. Her voice, however, did betray the happiness she felt at seeing him alive. "I'm glad to see you've made it." She tried to sound neutral, but she didn't fool anyone.

Shepard regarded her with a smirk before she put her hand on her old friend's arm, turning her attention back to their conversation. "So, you're coming with us then?"

"Yes. I'll just get my stuff from the ship and we can leave."

"Welcome to the team, Tali'Zorah." Shepard grabbed her hand and shook it, then she pulled her into a tight hug. "I missed you."


	15. Confessions

Shepard called in the shuttle and they all piled in to take Tali and Kal to their ship. Once on board, they waited while Tali gathered her belongings and said goodbye to the remainder of her crew. When she was finally ready to leave, they flew back to the _Normandy_ , sitting on the benches of the Kodiak and talking about the mission they'd just completed while trying to keep their balance as the shuttle rocked from side to side—just like old times.

Tali was glad to see another familiar face in the pilot's chair when they boarded the ship, though she did call Joker a bosh'tet when he needled her with mock seriousness, "It's good to see you, Tali—it _is_ you, right? It's hard to tell from that mask..."

Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she grinned happily as she gave the order to head to the Citadel. The last few missions had netted them some more funds, and she was anxious to buy a few of those upgrades that she'd had her eyes on but had not been able to afford before.

Garrus went back to the main battery, anxious to check on the status of the guns (one never knew, after all, when they needed some more calibration), and Thane retreated to his room in life support. The commander walked Tali around, showing her the layout of the new _Normandy_ and introducing her to the rest of the crew, but all the young quarian was really interested in were the engines, so they agreed to meet up in the captain's cabin later, and went their separate ways.

After checking her messages, Shepard took the elevator up to her quarters. She was just about to strip out of her banged-up armor and make some repairs to the singed areas when the entry door whooshed open and an enraged Tali barged into her room.

"An AI? Cerberus has installed an AI on the ship?" She stopped abruptly in the entryway, her hands gesturing in agitation and her eyes glowing with anger behind her mask.

"I did not mean to offend," EDI's pleasant voice rang out and her blue orb lit up, flashing apologetically in the corner. "I merely offered my assistance—"

"It's here, too? Is this thing _everywhere_?!" Tali shook her head in exasperation. "How can you work with these people, Shepard? You know the whole place is bugged, too, don't you?"

"EDI is all right," Shepard said with a shrug, casting a quick glance at the glowing sphere before turning her attention back to the fuming quarian in front of her. "I wasn't thrilled either when I first came aboard and found out about her. But there are safeguards in place to prevent her from going rogue, and she's actually been quite useful."

"Thank you, Commander," the AI chimed in, sounding genuinely pleased.

"That's all for now, EDI."

"Logging you out."

Shepard watched as the control station in the corner went dark again, then she turned to her friend with a disarming smile. "Yeah, I know about the bugs. I've gone through this room and turned them off as best as I could, but I don't know if I've detected them all. Maybe you could run a sweep and check?"

"Just give me a minute." Tali took a few steps forward as she brought up her omni-tool and began to wave her arm in a slow circle, but stopped, frozen as she was, when her gaze fell on the huge aquarium running along the wall on her left. "A fish tank? Why did they put a fish tank in your room?"

She sounded so puzzled that Shepard couldn't hold back a small chuckle. "I've wondered about that, too. It seems like such an extravagant thing to have, doesn't it? But," her laughter faded into a serene smile as she walked over to the glass and gently tapped on it, watching the fish glide along their usual patrol route, "I've found that it's quite comforting. Especially after a hard day—it's nice to come back here and just watch them swim around. It helps me forget about the Collectors and the Reapers and all those things people want me to fix for them, at least for a little while."

She seemed uncharacteristically sad and tired as she got lost in her thoughts while her eyes followed the colorful creatures' delicate movements, and Tali couldn't help but wonder how one person, one small human woman, unimposing in appearance but formidable in her acts, could take the weight of the whole universe on her shoulders over and over again. She couldn't even imagine how difficult it must have been to save the galaxy, then suffocate in the cold emptiness of space, doing her duty of defending those that depended on her, only to be brought back to life to be a hero for everybody else once again. She took a step towards her old friend and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you can have this small haven here, Shepard."

The commander turned towards her with a grateful smile, her eyes crinkling as she let out a small chuckle. "Thanks. I just wish I had some kind of an automated way to feed them. I've made a bet with Garrus that I'm not going to kill even one, but it's damned hard to remember to push that button every day."

"Maybe I can help," Tali offered enthusiastically, happy that there was at least one little thing that she could do for her. "I could rig up some kind of mechanism and write a program to inject the food into the water automatically if, say, you haven't done it by a certain time. How's that sound?"

"That would be great, thanks! But... no need to tell Garrus about it," Shepard added with a wink. "I don't want to hear him constantly badgering me about not being able to take care of them on my own."

"No problem." Tali nodded her head in agreement as she resumed her scanning. "You know, I'd thought that this whole Cerberus thing was just an undercover stint, but—gotcha!" She pushed a few buttons triumphantly, shorting out the listening device she'd just found. "I never expected you to actually work with them. Remember all those terrible experiments they did?"

"Of course. But that's why I'm glad to have you and Garrus on board; I need people I can trust by my side. I wish this was an Alliance vessel, but I have to make do with what I have right now."

"Done." Tali turned off her omni-tool with a satisfied nod, pleased with the results of her investigation and hacking efforts. "All bugs and cameras have been disabled."

"Thanks, Tali." Shepard flashed her a smile, then she gestured towards the living area, and they walked over to the couch to sit down.

"Well, now you have Garrus and me, and Joker and Dr. Chakwas on board," the young woman counted off the names on her fingers. "We just need the others from the old team to join us. Do you know where they are?"

"Liara is an information broker on Illium. I've talked to her, and asked her to come on board, but she said that she had something important that she needed to do. As for Wrex, well, I've heard that he's on Tuchanka—maybe we could pay him a visit and see if he would be up for some butt-kicking."

"And Kaidan?"

Shepard was silent for a while as she dropped her gaze down at her folded hands in her lap. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely more audible than a whisper. "He... doesn't trust me anymore."

Tali let out a startled gasp. "How do you know?"

"We met on Horizon—one of the human colonies the Collectors had attacked. He seemed more angry than glad to see me alive." It's been a while since she'd thought about him, but now those memories came rushing back with a vengeance, and suddenly her chest felt too tight to contain all the emotions that surged over her like an enraged wave in a storm. "He... said I was a traitor and walked out on me."

Tali stared at her in disbelief as she tried to absorb the words her translator had just supplied to her brain, wondering if she had heard wrong or if there was a glitch in the program. There must have been some kind of a mistake; he couldn't have said something like that, especially not after everything they'd gone through together. "But..." she stammered, "I thought he loved you! He was devastated when you died—"

"Well, apparently the logo on my armor was more important to him than our past, or the fact that I'm not dead anymore."

"I'm... sorry."

Shepard forced out a smile and swallowed a tear as she shook her head. "It's okay. It's _his_ loss." She waved a dismissive hand, as if trying to chase away the darkness that had started to creep forward at the mention of his name, then she cleared her throat and said, her eyes slowly regaining their usual shine and her lips curving into a mischievous smirk, "But enough about me. How about you?"

"What about me?" Tali asked back, bracing herself for the teasing that always seemed to follow whenever her commander got that particular expression on her face.

"Kal'Reegar— he seems like a nice young man..."

"Yes, he is."

"And?"

"And, what?"

"You and him…" Shepard wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Tali couldn't hold back a giggle even as she held up her hands in protest.

"There's nothing between us," she said, trying to sound like she didn't give a damn, but she couldn't quite hide the hint of disappointment that she felt at that truthful statement.

"Uh-huh."

"He's a professional. An exemplary marine. He..." Her shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh as she gave up all pretense. "He wouldn't even call me Tali, no matter how many times I asked. I don't think he's interested."

"I think you're wrong. I caught him watching you when he thought you weren't looking, and he seemed positively glum about your leaving. You should send him a message sometime."

"You think?"

"Absolutely." Shepard reached out and gave an encouraging squeeze to her friend's hand, then she got up and tilted her head in the direction of the door. "Come on, let's find a nice room for you. EDI can make all the necessary preparations to sanitize it and make it as safe and comfortable as possible."

Tali hesitated for only a second before she stood up and nodded. If Shepard trusted this EDI, then maybe the AI _was_ all right. She wasn't going to let her guard down just yet, but she was willing to give it a try. After all, she trusted Shepard – whether she was wearing the uniform of an Alliance soldier or that of a Cerberus operative.

 

* * *

 

A couple of hours later they were on the Citadel, marching through security, down to Saronis Applications, and then up the stairs to Rodam Expeditions. Shepard charged ahead, anxious to get her hands on those upgrades she'd been lusting for ever since their last visit here, and Tali and Garrus followed, doing their best to keep up with their energetic commander.

When they entered the shop, they were greeted by the exact same advertisement that Shepard had recorded for all the other places. Tali shook her head as she muttered under her breath, "Just how many favorite stores do you have here?"

"As many as would give me a discount," Shepard whispered back. "The Illusive Man hasn't exactly been as generous with our funding as I'd like."

Tali was about to ask if anybody had complained, but before she could open her mouth, the shopkeeper called out jovially, opening his arms wide as if he was ready to embrace the whole world, "Ah, Commander Shepard—it's so nice to see you again!"

"How's my favorite store doing?" The commander beamed at the turian, which he reciprocated with a happy grin of his own.

"Fantastic! Business has been going through the roof since you've made that endorsement for us."

"Glad to hear it! Now, why don't you tell my friend here about your travel packages while I make some more purchases?" Shepard gestured at Tali with a smirk, then she poked her in the ribs with her elbow and nudged her head towards the clerk with an expression that said, _'Watch this'._

"I'd be happy to!" the salesman exclaimed, and Shepard looked on with amusement as he dove behind a crate and started to stalk a pretend shatha with his pretend gun while he described the thrilling adventures their company offered to their customers.

She walked over to the kiosk with a soft chuckle and brought up its interface while Tali leaned over the counter, watching the clerk's shenanigans with shocked interest. Shepard punched in the codes for the mods she wanted, and by the time the credit transfer was finalized, the turian had already finished his demonstration and was standing tall again.

"That's what we offer: not a vacation, but an experience," he declared proudly.

Tali's eyes looked bigger than ever as she stared at the clerk. It seemed to take her a few moments before she could collect herself enough to say something to the man, who was standing in front of her with an expectant look on his face.

"Sounds... interesting," she finally croaked out.

"All right, we're done here," Shepard cheerfully announced, then she grabbed Tali's elbow and pulled her out of the store while she waved goodbye to the happily grinning turian.

"Where are we going now?" Tali asked as her commander steered her to the right.

"To the Dark Star Lounge. I think we all deserve a drink."

 

* * *

 

They got their liquor at the bar then walked over to a corner and settled down at one of the tables. This was nice; good friends, good music, the fighting and shopping done for the day, and finally some time to relax and enjoy their evening, as if they'd just come here from their boring jobs for a little fun before they'd go back to their apartments to sleep, and then start the whole cycle all over again.

The illusion didn't last long, however, for Tali started to talk about the reason for her mission to Haestrom and the data she had collected there. She was in the middle of a long explanation about the dying star when an excited and heavily accented voice interrupted her little lecture.

"Commander Shepard! Garrus! You're alive!"

"Dr. Michel!" Shepard stood up and clasped the woman's hand in a firm shake. "Nice to see you again. You probably remember our friend Tali?" She gestured at the quarian sitting at her side, and Dr. Michel nodded enthusiastically.

"I'm so happy to meet all of you here." She couldn't stop smiling as her eyes darted from Shepard to Tali to Garrus, her gaze settling on the turian's face and staying glued to that spot from then on. "I've tried to send you some messages, Garrus, but didn't get an answer. I was afraid that you were hurt, or worse..."

"I, uh, been busy," he replied, reaching behind his neck and rubbing it awkwardly.

"I'm just glad you're okay." She beamed. "Maybe we could talk? I... have so much to tell you." Her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink and she licked her lips in a nervous gesture. She'd been waiting for this moment for so long, and, though her heart was beating so hard that she thought it was going to jump right out of her chest at any moment, she decided that there was absolutely no force in this galaxy that could prevent her from having this chat that she'd been dreaming about for two long years, so she grabbed his arm and pulled him up and away from the table.

"Dr. Michel, I—" Garrus tried to protest, but she didn't pay him any attention. She told him that it was only going to take a few minutes and tugged on him until he was backed into an empty corner, shifting his weight from foot to foot while she started up the long speech that she had practiced in her head a thousand times.

"Looks like somebody has an admirer." Tali laughed, then she picked up her story from where she'd left off.

Shepard slowly sat down, pretending to listen to her words, humming agreeably a couple of times for better effect. Her eyes, however, never left the corner where Dr. Michel stepped closer and closer to Garrus and put her hand on his arm then slid it up to his shoulder. He seemed nervous, but he didn't pull away, whether for fear of insulting the doctor or because he actually enjoyed the attention—Shepard wasn't sure. She strained to hear their conversation, but it was impossible to do so over the loud music. She couldn't exactly read a turian's lips, and Dr. Michel had her back turned towards her, so she had no luck in that department either.

When she stopped responding to her friend's words, Tali followed her gaze, and she finally realized that she'd been talking to a wall.

"So," she continued in the sweetest voice possible, without losing a beat, "then I told the Admiralty Board that I was going to join the _Normandy_. _'No way!'_ they said. _'But Shepard needs me!'_ I insisted. _'All right, you can go under one condition: Shepard will have to come to the Fleet and talk to us in person. Naked. With flowers in her hair.'_ You can do that, right? Shepard?"

The commander was vaguely aware that Tali had asked her a question, so she murmured an "uh-huh" before she realized what exactly she'd agreed to. "Wait, what?" She snapped her head at the quarian, who burst out in laughter. The lights on her mask flickered wildly with every sharp intake of breath as she tried to collect herself enough to be able to talk.

"Don't worry, I was just testing if you were paying any attention at all," she finally managed to choke out.

"Sorry," Shepard murmured. It took her all her willpower not to turn her eyes back to the corner that she'd been watching so intently.

"What's going on?" Tali asked, suddenly concerned at the anguished expression on her commander's face.

"Nothing. I just... I'm just curious what they're talking about." She tilted her head towards Garrus and Dr. Michel, her eyebrows knitting into a frown and her eyes dark with anger. How dare she come and drag him away? And why didn't he tell her to fuck off? She started to regret coming in here. It was a bad idea. A stupid idea—

"Shepard," Tali interrupted her thoughts as she laid a delicate, three-fingered hand on her arm. "Is there something between you and Garrus?"

"Umm... Well..." She wasn't sure if she should tell Tali about their relationship, but she decided that her old friend deserved the truth. So, she swallowed hard and replied, keeping her voice low, even though there wasn't anybody there who could hear her confession, "Actually... yes."

"Really?!" Tali's grip suddenly got tighter on her arm as she leaned closer. "I want details!"

"I... decided to move on from Kaidan, and I, uh, propositioned Garrus."

"You what?!" The quarian let go of her arm and clutched her chest instead. "Keelah! And what did he say?"

"He said yes." Shepard was positively glowing now. She seemed so joyful that Tali couldn't hold back an 'aww'.

"You deserve all the happiness, Shepard," she said, nodding her head for emphasis. "I'm glad you have someone else."

"Thanks. Me, too. And I know I can count on him. He trusts me, and I trust him. He... he makes me happy."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"What do you mean?"

"Go get him away from her." Tali pointed her finger at the pair in the corner.

Shepard followed her gaze and found that Dr. Michel was making a valiant attempt to drag Garrus onto the dance floor now, while he desperately tried to escape the clutches of the good doctor. If she'd been doing it to anybody else, it would have been funny, but this was _her_ Garrus, so Shepard jumped up and marched up to them, and declared curtly, "We have to go."

"Do you really?" Dr. Michel's lips curved downward, but she let go of the turian, albeit reluctantly.

"Duty calls," Garrus called out, perhaps a bit louder than was necessary. He quickly stepped behind his commander, as if he was afraid that this madwoman was going to go after him again.

"Write to me!" the doctor called after them as they hurried out of the room, then she watched sadly as they disappeared behind the door.

 

* * *

 

"Thank the Spirits," Garrus muttered when they exited the bar. "I thought she was never going to let me go."

"Is there something I should know?" Shepard asked without looking at him. She was walking briskly and he had to take longer steps than usual to keep up with her. Tali lagged behind, giving them some privacy, though she did have her audio receptors turned up a bit, just in case they needed her, and if she happened to hear a few words of their conversation here and there, well, what was the harm in that?

"About what?" Garrus asked back. She seemed to be angry about something. He had a vague idea that it probably had to do with him, but it never hurt to ask.

"You and Dr. Michel."

"There's no _'me and Dr. Michel'_ ," he grumbled. "I have no idea what that was about. She seems to be grateful for something I did for her in the past. That's all."

"You didn't seem _that_ anxious to get away from her."

Garrus was quite certain now that she _was_ angry with him, but it still took him a few seconds to realize what exactly it was that had her so upset, and when he did, it hit him like a charging krogan. He grabbed her arm and made her stop and face him, then he lifted her chin with a curled finger as he asked, his voice warm and rumbling, "Are you jealous?"

Shepard bit her lower lip and slowly raised her eyes to find his blue irises focused on her with so much intensity that her heart almost stopped beating for a moment. She answered him with a question of her own, "And what if I am?"

"Shepard," he purred. That low hum in his chest that she'd become so familiar with set off a chain reaction in her own body, and she couldn't help but wonder when exactly it had become a reflex for her to become so aroused by the subharmonics in his voice. "There's no-one else. There's only you. There's always been only you."

She stared at him for a moment, wide-eyed, hazily aware of a soft 'aww' from Tali's direction, until the world came back into focus again and a smile spread across her face. "That's... good to know." She started to walk again, slower this time, and she called out over her shoulder, "Come on, you two, let's go. It's been a long day."

"Stressful, too." He smirked as he picked up pace and fell in step beside her.

"Yeah. We should do something about that." She winked up at him and laughed when he drawled, "We really should."

"Meet me in my cabin in an hour," she whispered. She hurried ahead, never more anxious to get back to the ship, and Garrus and Tali followed behind—just like they always did.

 


	16. Right Behind You

It was impossible to guess the hour just by looking out through the skylight, watching the never-changing stars above, but Garrus's impeccable sense of time, honed during years of military training, gave him a gut feeling that it was getting late.

He raised his head off the pillow to check the radio clock in the corner and stifled a groan when it confirmed his suspicions—he should have gone back to the battery a long time ago. Doing so, however, required the unwelcome task of peeling the sleeping woman's arm off his waist, and he wasn't prepared to accept that loss just yet. Its weight felt too warm and comforting to give up as it wrapped around his body, so he kept telling himself that he was going to linger for just a few more minutes—and then a couple more.

Shepard had gone to sleep almost immediately after their vigorous love-making, curling up alongside him with a contented sigh, and he'd been lying in her bed, stroking her arm and nuzzling her hair since then. Turians weren't really made for snuggling, but leave it to her to take up the challenge to teach him about the benefits of a little cuddle, not to mention spooning (oh, that wonderful spooning—whoever had invented _that_ was definitely a genius). It never ceased to amaze him how well she could flex and contort her body just to make contact with his skin in as many places as was at all possible, which was not an easy undertaking, given their different anatomy.

Still, since they'd agreed that they were going to keep their relationship under wraps for as long as they could, not wanting to cause any ripples in the relatively smooth flow of the crew's lives that had developed through weeks of team-building, he finally decided that it was time to tear himself away from the warm embrace of his fearless commander and sneak back to his room. He took one last inhale of Shepard's intoxicating scent, intending to carry it with him to his own bunk, then he started to work on extricating himself from her tight grip.

He carefully lifted her arm and moved it to her side, then he turned around and was about to slide out from under the covers when she threw her leg over his thigh and pressed her body into his back. "Where you goin'?" she murmured sleepily, slurring the words into one barely distinguishable string of sounds and drawing a rumbling chortle from his chest.

"Back to my place before somebody notices that I've spent half the night in my commander's cabin. I thought we agreed to keep this to ourselves?"

"Mmm…. Yeah. Dammit." She let out a sigh and withdrew her leg, and in a few seconds she was asleep again.

He waited for a while, listening to her breathing, then he slowly crawled out of bed. He stood still for a moment, waiting to see if his jostling had disturbed her peaceful slumber, but when she stayed motionless, he turned around to look for his clothing that he'd discarded in his haste to feel her bare skin on his the night before. Actually, he remembered with a grin, it was _her_ who'd pulled off his tunic and thrown it across the room just before she'd toppled him onto her bed and climbed over him, straddling his waist with her powerful legs.

He fumbled around, hunting for his clothes in the dark. He picked up his pants and his tunic and tried to repress the happy chuckle that tickled his throat when pictures of the night flashed up in his brain, starting with Shepard's jealousy over Dr. Michel's advances, continuing with their enthusiastic romp, and ending with her falling asleep in his arms. All dressed now, he quietly walked up the steps leading to the entryway then turned around one last time to take in her sleeping form under the blanket. This had happened before, he suddenly realized—he'd stopped on this landing just like this the night she'd drowned her sorrow in a bottle of ryncol and he'd helped her back to her cabin.

His smile faded as he remembered Horizon and Kaidan, and he cast an involuntary glance at the desk where he'd seen his picture before. He took a double-take when he noticed that the place was empty, except for her computer and some datapads, and he had to pull his mandibles tight into his face and clamp his mouth shut to prevent himself from crying out his excitement.

Kaidan's picture was gone.

 

* * *

 

No matter how much Shepard disagreed with Cerberus's methods, she had to give it to the Illusive Man: he certainly knew how to find the best talents for an impossible task like this mission. The team was shaping up quite nicely, with a diverse pool of experts in combat, tech and biotics, and now that Garrus and Tali were back by her side, she felt like their chances of success—and, hopefully, survival—had significantly gone up.

Still, they could use someone like Wrex, if he was able and willing, so she gave the order to head to Tuchanka as soon as they were cleared for departure, then she headed out the door to go down to the mess hall.

She looked forward to breakfast, not so much for the food (though she was so hungry after last night's activities that she could eat a horse), but more for the company. Of course, she wouldn't have been Commander Shepard if things went according to plan at least once, so she wasn't even surprised when she was stopped by Kelly's perky voice before she reached the elevator.

"Commander, there's an urgent message for you at your private terminal."

It wasn't the young woman's fault, not really, but still, Shepard felt an urge for a moment to wrap her hands around the cheery yeoman's throat and squeeze tightly, if only to find out if there was any limit to her liveliness and happy attitude.

She rubbed her forehead with a sigh, as if trying to erase those useless ideas from her brain, and took a deep breath before she answered. "Thank you. I'll check it in my cabin."

She walked back to her quarters, sat down in front of her computer and groaned out her frustration when she read the message.

_'From: Cerberus Command_

_We have received an urgent distress call from one of our science teams in the Minos Wasteland. They were investigating an alien artifact in a mine on Pietas in the Fortis system and requested immediate extraction. We would greatly appreciate your assistance in this matter. Given the rampant pirate activity in the system time is of the essence.'_

So much for Tuchanka and Wrex—at least for now.

 

* * *

 

The mine was cut deep into a hill, and the shaft leading inside seemed to go on forever. Every tunnel they came across was empty and abandoned, with the occasional crate and equipment scattered along the walls, waiting silently for a hand to give them purpose. Shepard took point, her gun at the ready and all her senses on full alert, and Garrus and Tali followed her close behind. The silence was eerie, and Shepard could feel in her bones with a cold certainty that something was not right. There was an almost palpable vibe, some kind of an electric charge in the air or _something_ that made the hair on the back of her neck stand up and a knot slowly grow in the pit of her stomach.

She hated going into a mission blind, and so far nothing gave her any more information than what she'd gleaned from the brief e-mail from Cerberus Command. They'd found a few datapads here and there, but all they contained were personal letters and some data on the mining operation, listing resources and duty rosters.

One of those letters, however, did hint at some kind of an unknown machine the miners had dug up, which, according to the author, was bound to bring in a tidy amount on the black market.

"I wonder if this is the 'alien artifact' Cerberus was investigating," Tali remarked as she read the message over Shepard's shoulder.

"Maybe. We should—"

"Shh!" Garrus interrupted. His gun pointed down the shaft ahead and his eyes stared intently into the darkness.

"What?"

"I think I saw something."

"What was it?"

"Not sure. But it moved quick."

They pressed on, scanning every crevice, every cavity in front and around them, the only noise echoing off the walls the shuffling of their feet and the air entering and exiting their lungs in carefully controlled, slow breaths. The next chamber they came upon looked like a battlefield: spent heat sinks were scattered around, pools of blood stained the ground, and somebody had dropped an Executioner shotgun, worn and well-used, but no longer of use to its owner.

"This is a favored weapon for some pirate groups," Garrus remarked as he turned the gun around in his hand and examined it carefully. "I wonder if they raided this place once they'd learned about this 'special find'."

"It's possible." Shepard rubbed the back of her neck as she pondered the situation. "There was definitely some kind of a fight here. Let's move on and stay sharp—whoever did this might still be around."

The next room was in a similar state of disarray: equipment knocked over and broken, used thermal clips on the floor, and blood splattering the walls. They saw the first sign of Cerberus here as well; there was a computer with their logo sitting on a table, its screen shattered by a bullet that had passed right through the hard metal behind it.

"Where are all the bodies?" Tali asked the question that they all had been wondering about.

Garrus looked around, his keen detective eyes surveying every little detail as he searched for an answer, and he pointed at some long lines that stretched through some of the blood stains. "It seems like they were dragged away. See this—"

He stopped, his head tilted and his eyes staring down the tunnel ahead of them with determined concentration.

"What?" Shepard asked, straining to see what he was looking at.

"Did you hear that?"

"No. What?"

"Listen."

And then they all heard it—that indescribable screech that sent chills down their spines, as a dark, shapeless figure appeared out of nowhere. It charged towards them, faster than should have been possible, and managed to get almost close enough to grab Tali with its long, dead arms before three simultaneous shots rang out and its body exploded into a sickening pulp. The next moment the confined space in the belly of the mountain came alive, spitting out waves after waves of the glowing abominations. They could barely keep up with the hordes as they tried to overwhelm their team, but after a few blood-pumping minutes of synchronized firing, incinerating, and blasting them back with Garrus's concussive shots, the chamber fell silent again, and the corpses disintegrated into thin air.

"Kheelah. I hoped I'd never see these things again." Tali lowered her gun and leaned against the table by the rock wall to catch her breath.

"Yeah, well, I hate to break it to you now, but we'll probably encounter plenty of these monstrosities. We fought a bunch of them on Horizon." Shepard shrugged as she picked up a few fresh heat sinks from the ground and loaded her rifle.

"Ummm... Maybe I should check back with the Fleet. They might need me for some very important mission," Tali deadpanned, pretending to turn towards the exit and get ready to leave.

"Too late. You're mine now." The commander grinned as she clasped the young quarian's shoulder, then she signaled for them to move out.

They pressed on, listening for any noise and keeping their eyes peeled for any movement. They eventually entered another room with some more equipment and a datapad that shed some light on the situation.

_'From: Dr. Tolek_

_To: Cerberus Command_

_We have found the artifact, but we don't know what happened to the miners. They seem to have vanished, though some of our people insist that they have heard moaning sounds coming from beyond the rock wall. Chavez wants to investigate, but I don't think we have the time. We intercepted some chatter from incoming pirate ships. Apparently they have found out about the device and plan to seize it._

_We need to dismantle the artifact and take it with us before those pirates get here.'_

Garrus let out a groan. "Husks _and_ pirates—just what we needed." 

"It might only be husks by now," Shepard said, but somehow it didn't make them feel any better.

 

* * *

 

It seemed like they'd been fighting for hours, mowing down groups after groups of husks and abominations, when they finally reached the cavern that contained the artifact.

"Surprise, surprise—it's a Reaper indoctrination device." Shepard shook her head as she surveyed the area. As expected, there were no survivors from any of the teams that had entered this cursed mine before them. "I'm going to blow this thing up so nobody else can find it. Ever."

They found some detonation charges that the miners had used to open new tunnels, and placed them on two sides of the machine. Shepard signaled her team to move up ahead, then she set off the charges, and they all took off running when the chamber exploded into a ball of fire. The walls shook around them, and dirt and rocks started to rain down and fill the tunnels. Suddenly there was a loud crash and a yelp, and the blood froze in Garrus's veins when he looked over his shoulder to see a gaping hole in the ground where Shepard should have been.

"Shepard!" he bellowed as he ran back to where he'd seen her last.

The floor had collapsed into a cavern that ran underneath their tunnel, taking the commander with it, and all he could see down below was dirt and rocks and darkness. He turned on the flashlight attachment on his rifle and desperately searched around for any sign of life until he finally noticed an armored leg sticking out from under a mound. His stomach dropped when he saw no movement.

"Tali," he barked out without looking back at the quarian, "I'm going after her. Go get help. We'll need some ropes to lift her out of this damned hole."

"Garrus! That hole is at least 12 feet deep!" Tali protested, even though she knew it was useless to argue with him.

"I'm not going to leave her there alone," he grunted, and, without waiting for her answer, he jumped down. A searing pain shot through his right ankle when he hit the ground, and he couldn't hold back a groan as he tried to take a step.

"Are you okay?" Tali yelled down, peering over the edge of the opening.

"I'm fine," he lied, gritting his teeth. "Go get help! Now!"

He could hear her footsteps booming above as she ran away, and then there was silence.

He crawled to the mound from which Shepard's leg was sticking out, ignoring the pain in his ankle, set down his rifle so that its light illuminated the area, and got to work digging her out from under the dirt and rocks. She took a deep, wheezing gasp and coughed violently when he brushed away the rubble from her face. He lifted her head and pulled her into his chest with a purr. "Don't scare me like that. Ever again."

"Mom?" she asked, her eyes unfocused and blood trickling down her temple.

He had to swallow down his fear before he could trust his voice to answer. "No, it's me. Garrus."

She turned her face to look at him. "Garrus?" She seemed smaller, younger, and more vulnerable than he'd ever seen her, and it hurt so much that he could barely take it. "What are you doing here?"

"Watching your six, as usual," he rumbled. His heart almost burst out of his chest when he saw a small smile curl the corners of her lips.

"That's good," she said in a weak voice, then she passed out, and all he could do was hold her tight and press his forehead against hers.

"Don't worry, they'll come and get us soon," he whispered, not sure if as an encouragement to her or himself.

He turned his flashlight off to conserve power and settled down for the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This mission is a bit AU-ish, since I took parts of the Aequitas mission, added in Cerberus and the pirates (and the hole), and changed the location to Pietas. :)


	17. I'd Die For You

Garrus found a relatively smooth and comfortable surface along the rock wall and braced his back against it with a groan. Pulling Shepard's limp body onto his lap, he gently cradled her in his arms. His ankle didn't seem to be broken, but it hurt like hell, and he was pretty sure that once he was able to remove his boots, it was going to swell to twice its usual size. He pushed a button on his armor to dispense some anesthetic into his blood stream and hoped that it was going to start working soon.

He had some extra medi-gel on hand, but it wouldn't do much good for this kind of injury; besides, Shepard needed it more, so he smeared some on her scalp where congealed blood had matted her hair and painted it red. Satisfied that her life signs were stable and the gash on her head was healing rapidly, he took a moment to survey their surroundings and take stock of their situation.

A small amount of light seeped down from above and dimly illuminated their location, but the rest of the cavern receded into darkness. His visor, however, indicated slightly warmer temperature readings at the far end, about twenty feet from their position, and he could have sworn that he saw a couple of little pockets of light flickering behind small gaps in the rubble that seemed to cover an opening in the wall there. He picked up his rifle and turned on the flashlight to examine the cavern that served as their prison at the moment, and he came to the conclusion that this was most likely an abandoned shaft that had been cut off from the rest of the mine by a cave-in at some point in time. It was possible that the old tunnel was right behind those rocks and all he needed to do was claw his way through the debris to gain access to the passageway beyond and, hopefully, to freedom. However, even if he was to be successful in finding a way out of here, he was in no shape to carry Shepard with him, and leaving her behind was out of the question. Besides, he had no idea what state that shaft was in; for all he knew, it could lead them to a deathtrap instead of steering them out of this hellhole.

No, it was a much better option to stay put and let Tali and the crew find them. Whenever that would be.

He was about to turn off his flashlight once again when Shepard started to stir on his lap, so he deposited the rifle on the rubble by his side, aiming it away from them, and made a few soothing strokes through her hair.

She opened her eyes to find Garrus looking down at her, his blue eyes watching her intently. She wondered why he was still in her cabin; hadn't he just said that he was going to go back to his room?

"Garrus," she murmured, her voice dry and her tongue too slow and sticky to form the sounds correctly, "why are you still here?"

His brow plates seemed to tighten into a frown as he narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. He studied her face for a moment before he replied, "I... didn't want to leave you here alone. Tali went to get help—"

"Tali? She was here?" She looked around, confused, as if searching for the quarian, but all she could see was dirt and rocks and darkness, and the realization that they were not in her quarters anymore slowly started to sink in.

"Shepard," Garrus whispered, trying to control the distressed hum in his voice, "we were on a mission, remember? There were husks and a Reaper device and—"

"Tali! Is she okay?" She suddenly sat up with a startled urgency as the shattered memory of the last few minutes started to form into a coherent picture in her brain. She immediately regretted the abrupt movement, as the walls around her started to spin in a never-ending circle and her stomach lurched forward and up into her throat.

"I don't feel so good," she moaned. She slid off Garrus's lap and managed to crawl a few feet on her hands and knees away from him before her stomach couldn't take it any longer and emptied its contents onto the dirt floor.

She hadn't even finished vomiting when Garrus was already by her side, supporting her forehead with one hand and holding her trembling torso with the other. "Are you all right?" he asked when the dry heaves stopped.

 _'Not really,'_ she thought, but just hearing his voice was enough to make her feel better.

"Yeah. Thanks," she muttered gratefully.

He helped her back to the spot where they'd been sitting before and they settled down side by side, leaning their backs against the wall.

She rested her head on his shoulder. "That thing you just did—holding my head while I was throwing up—my mother used to do that when I was little."

"Oh? Did that happen a lot?" He peered down at her, relieved that the fog over her mind seemed to be lifting now. This had to be a good sign.

"I don't know if it was _a lot_ ," she chuckled ( _that_ was definitely a good sign), "but it happened a few times when I was sick or when I had a concussion."

"How did you get a concussion when you were a kid? Did you headbutt a krogan or something?"

"No." She laughed and punched him in the arm, and shook her head.

That was not a good idea—her brain started to throb with pain and she had to squeeze her eyes shut for a few seconds until the ache subsided and she could continue.

"My parents worked in the Alliance, so I grew up on ships and space stations. I had no siblings, and there weren't a lot of kids around to play with. It's not easy to make friends when you don't stay in one place for long, anyway. I occupied myself by sneaking into every room I could at whatever place we happened to be stationed at."

"Huh. Didn't know you started your infiltrator career that early," Garrus dryly remarked, drawing an amused snort from her.

"Yeah. I guess I did. So, anyhow, one day I managed to break into a storage room. I thought I was in heaven; there were all these intriguing boxes and crates just lying around, and I made it my mission to discover what was in each and every one of them. I read the labels, opened the ones that weren't locked or were easy to hack into, and catalogued the contents, filing away the information in my brain as if my life depended on it." She paused to push down a wave of nausea and took a few deep breaths before she continued. "It was getting late, and I should have gone back to our quarters for dinner already, but there was one really tempting box on the very top of a pile of crates that I hadn't checked out yet. So, I started to climb up to get to it, but just as I touched the corner of the box the crate under me gave way and the whole thing collapsed. I fell down, hit my head on the floor, and all those containers came toppling down on me."

"Ouch. Then what happened?"

"I lost consciousness, and when I didn't show up for dinner, my parents started to look for me. After a while it became a ship-wide emergency and it took the whole crew a couple of hours to search every nook and cranny before somebody found me. It turned out I had a concussion and I was taken to the medbay. My mother never left my side until a recovered."

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Well, I got a good scolding afterwards, but mainly they were just happy that I was okay."

"I take it you avoided climbing over crates after that?" He looked down at her with a smile, and wasn't surprised a bit when she returned his gaze with a mischievous grin and a wink.

"Not a chance."

They chuckled and she laid her head on his shoulder again as she asked, "How about you?"

"Hmm?"

"What trouble did you get into when you were a kid?"

"How do you know I got into trouble?"

"Come on, Garrus. Or, rather, _Archangel_ ," she snickered. "You being a good kid? I don't think so."

He let out a rumbling belly laugh, his arm jostling her head as his body shook in rhythm with his amusement. She had to suppress the sick feeling in her stomach and the pounding pain in her brain at the sudden motion, but she didn't care; she'd made him laugh, and that meant more to her than any discomfort this miserable situation had left her in.

"Well, there was this one time when I took apart the family's only working holo projector."

"Ha! Were you trying to calibrate it?" She winced when he chuckled and her head shook again, but she stayed glued to his side and managed to smile through the ache.

"Very funny," he drawled with feigned indignation. "No, I wanted to see how it worked. I was convinced that I was going to be able to put it back together again, but... well, let's just say that that was the last time they ever let me touch any electrical equipment in the house. Also, we needed a new holo projector."

She let out a small, adorable giggle, and he couldn't stop his hand from reaching out and patting her knee then sliding up her thigh in an affectionate caress. He froze when he remembered their circumstances and her fragile state, and withdrew his hand with a nervous twitch of his mandibles. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Even her human ears could hear the concern in the vibration of his subharmonics. "I'm okay," she said, though the world was getting a bit hazy again. He didn't need to know that, though—at least, not at this time. She vaguely remembered him saying something about Tali having gone to get help; if everything went well, they would be here before her condition got any worse. Until then, she just needed to breathe in, breathe out, remain calm, and everything was going to be all right.

They were quiet for a while, then she looked up at him and said, "Tell me about your family."

She listened attentively as he began to talk about his mother, his sister, and the whole Vakarian clan. He told her about spending the summers of his youth with his grandmother at the family estate and of hunting for bugs and other miscellaneous creepy crawlers in the fields and putting them in his sister's shoes, then sneaking out when nobody noticed, even though he was supposed to be confined to his room. There were adventures and laughter and family reunions, some involving crazy relatives that nobody but him wanted to acknowledge that existed—apparently he was not a very good turian even as a child.

His voice washed over her body and soul like warm water in a comforting bath, and soon her eyelids started to feel so heavy that she couldn't keep them open anymore. When her head dipped down and her breathing became even, he stole a peek at her and realized that she'd gone to sleep, so he softly trailed off and finished his tale.

Silence settled on the room once again, and he listened carefully, hoping to hear some familiar voices up above. Instead, what he heard the next moment chilled him to the bone.

 

* * *

 

First it was the clink of one stone hitting the ground, then another, and then one more. For a moment he wondered if the rocks were falling from above as a result of some aftershocks from the explosion—it would have been just their luck to get buried in some kind of a landslide before their rescue ever arrived. There were no tremors around them, however, and he suddenly realized that the sound was actually coming from that filled-in tunnel that he'd noticed before.

He picked up his rifle and directed the beam of the flashlight to that spot in the wall. What he saw made him sit up straight and clench his weapon so hard that there was no force in the universe that could have pried it out of his hands: pieces of dirt and debris were rolling down the barricade, hitting the floor and gradually destroying the closure that had kept their room separated from the old passageway beyond.

A hole was slowly forming in the upper part of the rubble as a hand shoved the rocks through, widening the opening more and more, and he could hear whoever it was on the other side grunt and groan with the effort.

His whole body tensed as he watched and listened, his gun at the ready, hoping that he was just being paranoid and it was one of their crew trying to push their way through. Maybe they'd found this part of the mine and were digging their way in to get to them. Hell, he would have been fine with it being one of the pirates, or even a merc—just as long as it wasn't another one of those damned husks.

One last shove and the rocks and dirt suddenly came tumbling down, making a big enough gap for somebody to get through. Then he saw it: that cursed glow and hunched body shape, as the first husk climbed through the freshly made hole and headed for them with a blood-curdling scream.

He pulled the trigger on instinct, blowing the monstrous creature's head off with one clean shot, but the damned freak was immediately replaced by another. This one didn't fare much better: it received a bullet right between its vacant eyes from Shepard's gun. In a moment the cavern exploded into gunfire and screams, as a never-ending horde of husks pushed through the gap and lunged forward, only to be turned into an oozing pile of dead flesh and flickering cybernetics.

"Have any spare clips?" Shepard yelled over the noise when her gun clicked empty.

"No! I was low already before we ended up here," he yelled back as he pumped his remaining bullets into the newest crowd emerging from that miserable hole.

"It's the butt of the rifle then," she barked out before she smashed the skull of a husk in with one powerful thrust.

They tried to keep up with the waves, but with no fresh heat sinks and no place to hide or withdraw to, their situation looked worse than ever. They were being overwhelmed, and the hope for a timely rescue seemed to evaporate with every second.

Still, the team had to be on their way, and Garrus was damned if he wasn't going to buy Shepard enough time for her to make it until they got there. He shoved the abominations off of her weakening body and covered her small shape with his own bulky frame. The husks latched onto him with a tight embrace, making it impossible for him to move, and he felt his shields and his life slowly drain away.

The last thing he heard before he lost consciousness was an angry roar and a rough voice yelling over the screams, "Goddamn bloody monsters!"

 

* * *

 

Garrus woke up to the soft hum of the medical equipment and the familiar smell of disinfectant in the infirmary. He felt woozy and exhausted, and all he wanted to do was to sleep, but he forced his eyelids open when he heard a quiet conversation coming from his right side.

"He took a beating, but he'll be fine. Zaeed and Grunt got there just in time—a few more seconds and he wouldn't have made it. That goes for you, too, Commander."

He turned his head to find Dr. Chakwas standing by the bed closest to his own. She shifted her weight, revealing the other patient's red hair as it spread out over the pillow, and he couldn't hold back a relieved sigh as her name swelled in his chest and rolled out on his tongue. "Shepard."

The doctor swirled around to look at him, but all he could see was his commander's smiling face as she turned her head in his direction and croaked, her voice still low and weak, "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" Dr. Chakwas asked as she walked over to his bed and put a soothing hand over his arm.

He looked down his body, as if to check if he still had all his limbs attached before he would answer, and found his right foot wrapped in a cooling brace and propped up on a couple of pillows. There was an IV tube stuck into his left hand, probably supplying nutrients and medication, which explained why he didn't feel that awful pain in his leg anymore. All in all, things didn't seem to be too bad—fantastic even, considering that they'd both made it out alive.

"Fine."

"You sprained your ankle, Garrus, when you jumped down. I would say it was quite foolish of you to do such a thing, except you probably saved Commander Shepard's life with your actions. So, I'm going to spare you the lecture and just tell you that you'll have to rest your leg for a while. You'll have to ice your ankle several times a day and I'll give you some pills for the pain. Use crutches until it doesn't hurt anymore to walk, and no more heroics—at least not until you're fully healed. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

The doctor patted his arm then walked over to her desk, sat down, and in a few seconds she was buried in patient charts and medical supply purchase lists.

Garrus turned his attention back to Shepard. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. I have a concussion, so Dr. Chakwas is keeping me here for observation." Her displeasure at this last fact was more than evident in her voice, but Dr. Chakwas just waved a hand and calmly added over her shoulder, "And you'll need to rest for a couple of days. No arguments."

Shepard rolled her eyes, but didn't put up a fight.

"So, how many concussions does that make?" Garrus drawled. He was happy to draw a little chuckle out of her.

"Too many!" the doctor interjected, but this time it was Shepard's turn to wave a dismissive hand. "I don't know. Five, maybe. But, enough about that. I'm glad you're okay, Garrus. I hear you jumped down after me, then put your own body between me and the husks. I..." Her lower lip quivered and her eyes welled up, and she had to stop before she'd make a crying, blabbing fool out of herself. Nobody had ever done anything like this for her; it was always _her_ who had to make these kinds of sacrifices for other people.

" _Somebody_ had to be there to watch your six," he quipped, his mandibles flaring out in a wide grin. "Somebody with style and panache."

"Well, that's definitely you." She smiled. "Garrus _Style and Panache_ Vakarian."

"You know it."

They laughed and soon fell into a comfortable silence, and when Dr. Chakwas looked up, she found both of them asleep, their heads turned toward each other and their life sign monitors beeping softly in perfect harmony.


	18. Little Black Dress

Shepard was cleared for duty in a couple of days, but Garrus wasn't as lucky. Although his ankle felt much better, he still couldn't put his full weight on it without some pain. He hated to be left behind when the squad went on a mission, but he understood that if he wanted to join the ground team as soon as possible, he had to follow Dr. Chakwas's strict orders and give his body all the time it needed to heal properly.

Still, he'd never been one to sit idly by and do nothing, so he hobbled around with the crutches that the doctor had provided for him and tried to make himself as useful as he could under the circumstances. He spent most of the day in the main battery, absorbed in fine-tuning the cannons and the firing algorithms, and was quite pleased when he managed to squeeze out a 0.2 per cent increase in efficiency.

When standing around on one leg while leaning his body against the control panel and putting his weight on the crutches became too uncomfortable, he switched to sitting on his cot and taking all his weapons apart, cleaning them for the hundredth time, then putting them back together again.

Shepard visited him as often as she could, and he looked forward to their discussions about the missions she was planning or the ones from which she had just returned. He wished he could have been there to watch her six when she took Mordin and Thane to a Collector ship to gather data that would help them get through the Omega-4 Relay, but was glad to find out that the scientist and the assassin had been more than capable of giving her the support she'd needed to accomplish the task.

Their next stop after that was Tuchanka, where the commander was finally able to have a chat with Wrex and ask him to join the _Normandy_. Garrus wasn't sure if he felt disappointment or relief at the news that the krogan had declined the invitation. It certainly would have been useful to have one more capable warrior on board, but he couldn't say he'd miss the old bounty hunter's reckless attitude and penchant for destruction. Besides, they already had somebody like that on the _Normandy_ , and having Grunt and Wrex together on the ship would probably have ended in disaster—or, at a minimum, in some broken bones and equipment.

Wrex wasn't the only reason for their trip to the krogan homeworld, however. Mordin had received word about one of his ex-students, who'd gone missing on the planet, and Grunt had developed some kind of a problem that they had no idea how else to deal with other than ask for advice from his own kind.

"Did you find out anything about Grunt's condition?" Garrus asked when Shepard had finally stopped talking about how much she wished Wrex had said yes to her offer. He sat down on one crate in the corner while he rested his foot on another and watched her move around the battery as she talked.

"Yeah. Guess what his issue was?" She seemed to be tired and her armor bore clear signs of battle, but she flashed him a grin as she sauntered over to the railing and leaned her hip against it.

"What?"

"Puberty." She chuckled at his surprised expression, then she went on to describe the Rite of Passage, including the thresher maw fight, which earned her a groan and a shake of his head.

"Sorry I missed it," he drawled, his tone clearly indicating the opposite.

She smirked and folded her arms in front of her chest. "We can always go back and sign you up for another one." 

"That's okay. Wouldn't want to overshadow Grunt and make him feel bad. Sure, he can defeat a thresher maw on foot, but can he look as good doing it as _some of u_ s? I don't think so."

"Riiight."

"So... I suppose Grunt's going to be fine then. What about Mordin's student?"

"Turns out he wasn't kidnapped at all. He was working on a cure for the genophage by choice."

"Huh. That's... unexpected. What happened?"

She told him about Maelon and his barbaric experiments, Mordin's outrage and near execution of his former student, and he listened, asking questions and nodding his head every so often, until her stomach began to growl and she suggested a visit to the mess hall. He himself hadn't eaten yet (he told her that he'd been too busy to notice that he was hungry, but in fact he'd been waiting for her return), so they walked to the dining room and had their evening meal together—just like every other night.

 

* * *

 

She spent the next few days gathering resources and helping some of the team members with whatever issues they were having. They traveled to the Citadel and stopped Thane's son from following in his father's footsteps and becoming an assassin (or worse, becoming a corpse, given the lack of experience he actually had for such a life), blew up the Cerberus facility on Pragia that Jack had grown up in, tortured and abused and honed by the staff into an unfeeling killing machine, and attended a party on Bekenstein to get back a graybox that belonged to Kasumi.

Kasumi gave her a dress for that occasion; it was a low-cut leather thing that hugged her body and, besides revealing her lean arms and long legs, it provided any onlooker with an alluring glimpse of the curve of her breasts. The thief insisted that she looked gorgeous, but Shepard felt absolutely ridiculous walking through the ship in that outfit. Garrus, however, appeared to be impressed. They bumped into him in the elevator on their way down to the shuttle bay, and he seemed to have forgotten all about his destination as he stood there with his feet frozen to the cabin's floor. She pretended that she didn't notice, but she was well aware of his gaze raking over her cleavage and her waist and hips, and she had to bite the inside of her cheek in an attempt to suppress the desire that started to build in her groin as she imagined that it was his hands, instead of his eyes, that were traveling up and down her body.

Kasumi leaned closer and whispered, 'I think he likes you,' when they exited the lift, leaving Garrus behind. The last thing Shepard needed was for the thief to get ideas about their relationship, so she waved a dismissive hand and fibbed, "Nah. He was just shocked to see me in this silly getup. I'm sure he'll harass me about it later."

Her steps, however, became lighter and more confident, and she decided that no matter how this whole mission was going to go down, one thing was certain: she was keeping this outfit.

 

* * *

 

As soon as they'd returned from Bekenstein, having acquired the graybox and destroyed Donovan Hock's empire in the matter of a few hours, she headed to the main battery for her usual chat with Garrus. He was sitting on his cot in the corner, his sniper rifle and its various mods spread out neatly on the mattress, but he instantly got up and came forward when she entered.

"Oh," he muttered when his eyes fell on her armor. He sounded positively disappointed.

"Nice to see you too, Garrus." She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back on one leg. She resisted rolling her eyes, but couldn't stop herself from at least shaking her head a little.

"You... have your armor on."

"Well, it worked a bit better for fighting through dozens of mechs and mercs, not to mention a damned gunship, than that flimsy little dress."

"You fought a gunship?" He looked her over with a quick glance, but other than a small scrape on the back of her right hand, she seemed to be unharmed. He gave a barely discernible nod of satisfaction, then he returned his gaze to her smiling eyes. "Sounds like it wasn't just a simple case of hacking into the vault."

"Of course not." She shook her head with a sigh. "It can never be that easy."

He hummed in sympathetic agreement, then he fell silent as he seemed to consider her with a serious expression on his face.

"What?" she asked, growing a bit impatient with his quiet stare.

"What happened to that, uh, outfit? I... quite liked it."

"I still have it." She shrugged her shoulders, as if it was an insignificant matter, not even worth mentioning, but in fact she'd had the hardest time cramming that stupid thing into one of the pouches of her armor. After the looks he'd given her in the morning, though, she was determined to keep that dress, come hell or high water.

"Glad to hear it." His eyes lit up and his mandibles flared out in a sheepish grin. "So... are you, uh, going to wear it again?"

"Maybe." Oh, yes. Definitely.

"I'm looking forward to it." His grin widened and she couldn't resist reaching up and stroking the undamaged side of his face before she turned around with a smile and a wave of her hand and walked out of the battery.

She went straight up to her cabin and pulled the dress out from where she'd stuffed it inside her armor. It had gotten a bit crumpled, but otherwise it was no worse for wear. She smoothed the wrinkles out as much as she could, then she hung the outfit in her small closet. It didn't quite fit in with her uniforms and casual clothes, but she didn't give a damn. As long as Garrus liked it and gave her that hungry look when she wore it, it had the place of honor on that rack.

 

* * *

 

The first opportunity to wear that little black dress again presented itself a couple of days later, though not exactly in the way that she had anticipated.

Garrus could finally walk without pain, so he'd been cleared for duty that morning, and he wasted no time informing her of that joyous fact during lunch. He was somewhat disappointed, however, to find out that they were going to Omega that day to help Samara apprehend the Ardat-Yakshi she'd been pursuing for centuries. He'd been hoping for a blood-pumping mission on some nice, exotic jungle planet, he said, but he admitted that it was still better than being cooped up in the main battery, so a few hours later he found himself trudging behind Shepard and Samara as they walked through the station, trying to find some information about the exact whereabouts of the asari.

Their search proved fruitful. Apparently she _had_ been busy on Omega, and, according to her latest victim's journal, she'd been spending much of her time in the V.I.P. section of Afterlife.

Shepard was ready to storm the place and pin the fugitive to the wall, but Samara had other plans. "Shepard," she said, her voice as cool as ever, "we can't barge in like this."

"Why not?"

"This is a subtle and delicate operation. Morinth is extremely cunning; no doubt she has several escape routes planned and if she realizes that we're after her, she'll simply disappear for fifty years or more. We can't risk that. This is the closest I've ever gotten."

"So, what do you suggest?"

"You'll have to go in alone and unarmed. I'm certain that she'll be drawn to you as soon as she sees you. You have the power and that special spark that she finds irresistible."

"I'm going to be the bait?" She cocked her head slightly as she considered the proposition.

"You can't be serious," Garrus grumbled. This was a bad idea. A terrible, terrible idea. Fighting an enemy with guns and fists was one thing. Being alone with a ruthless serial killer who paralyzed her victims with mind control and drained the life out of them before they knew what was happening was quite another matter.

"This is our only chance," Samara calmly stated. "I believe the commander can lure Morinth out, and if she invites her to her apartment, we can corner her there. It will be dangerous, but I will be in the shadows, watching, and when the time is right, I will spring the trap."

Garrus tried to protest, but Shepard put a hand on his arm. "She uses sex to kill her victims. I have absolutely no intentions of sleeping with her, so I should be fine."

"I suggest a change into civilian clothing before you enter the bar," Samara advised. If she was excited about the prospect of finally catching her target, she didn't show it.

The corners of Shepard's lips curled into a smirk. "I know just what to wear."

 

* * *

 

To say that Garrus was not happy would have been the understatement of the century. The day had started out so well: he'd been ecstatic that he was finally able to leave the battery that had served as his prison ever since his injury and go on a mission with Shepard. They should have been fighting side by side to return victorious, dammit, but now, instead of watching her six, here he was, back at his console, and he was so distracted that he couldn't even see the numbers he was supposed to be entering into his equations.

After a long while, he gave up with a groan, gripped the sides of the panel, and stared into the distance as he pondered the situation. She was getting ready right now, up in her cabin, and he was supposed to stay on board while she and Samara dealt with Morinth.

He couldn't say he liked this plan. Not that he expected that sociopath to do anything in front of so many witnesses, but during his years as a cop he'd learnt to always expect the unexpected when dealing with criminals. What if she took Shepard out of the bar through some unknown path while Samara was waiting for them at the main door? He'd _tried_ to convince Shepard and the asari that it was too risky, but his complaints had fallen on deaf ears.

Maybe they were right; maybe he would stick out like a sore thumb if he tried to follow the commander in an attempt to provide her with some backup. Still, he couldn't help but wish that there was something he could do besides waiting helplessly while she risked her life to catch that deranged murderer.

Though... maybe there _was_ something he could do. He couldn't sneak off the ship to watch her back from the shadows, but there was somebody else on board who could.

He pushed away from the panel and opened up his omni-tool's interface to send a quick message. The answer came almost immediately.

_'I'll be happy to help._

_Thane'_

 

* * *

 

"I'm in position," the drell's dry voice crackled over Garrus's private channel thirty minutes later.

"Can you see her?"

"Yes."

"Did Samara notice you?"

"No."

"Good. What's Shepard doing?"

"She seems to be having a staring contest with a krogan."

"Let's hope she doesn't headbutt him."

"It appears that was not necessary. The krogan has backed down."

Thane sounded impressed, and Garrus felt a surge of pride swell within his chest. He could just imagine the scene: the big, hulking krogan intimidated by the small human woman. He didn't blame him, though—Shepard could be downright scary when she wanted to be.

He heard some movement over his earpiece, and he realized that Thane had changed his location. Shepard must have walked to another part of the bar. "What's happening?" he asked. Damn, he wished he was there and didn't have to rely on the drell's short descriptions.

"She's dealing with a drunk turian right now. He was harassing one of the dancers." There was a pause, then a chuckle. Garrus had never even seen Thane crack a smile before, but he was quite certain that that was exactly what he'd heard: an actual _chuckle_.

"What's going on?"

"She punched him, kicked him, then threw him across the room. Now she's talking to one of the asari dancing on the floor." Thane sounded perplexed as he haltingly continued. "Uh, I'm not sure... what she's doing. She... seems to be shuffling her feet while her body is rocking from side to side."

Garrus couldn't hold back his laughter as he enlightened the puzzled assassin. "I think she's, ah, dancing."

"Are you certain?"

"Pretty much."

"I see. Interesting."

Morinth must not have minded the commander's ungraceful movements, because she soon appeared by her side and invited her over to her booth. Garrus's smile disappeared and his gut tightened into a knot as he listened to Thane's reports over the comm. The assassin couldn't hear everything they were saying, but things seemed to be progressing well and in a few minutes they got up from the table.

"They must be heading to her apartment. I am attempting to follow them," Thane reported, then the comm went mute.

Garrus waited with baited breath, his heart pounding so hard that he could hear its pulsing beat in his ears. The minutes seemed to crawl by in silence, until Thane's voice finally buzzed over the radio. "I am sorry. I have lost them."

Garrus had to grab the railing for support before he could answer. "What happened?"

"After they left the bar, the commander and the asari took a shuttle. There was only one other vehicle available on the lot and, since I had to make sure that Samara was unaware of my presence, I was forced to let her take it. By the time I could procure another transport, they'd been long gone, and I was unable to trace them."

Garrus took a deep breath as he raised his eyes up to the ceiling. This day was getting worse and worse. "Damn. Well, at least Samara was able to go after them. Let's hope she didn't lose their trail. Thanks for your help."

He cut the connection and let go of the railing. His stomach felt queasy, and he needed to sit down. He walked over to his cot and dropped down on it, and he sat there, his elbows on his knees and his head cradled in his hands, as he stared at the floor under his feet.

 _'She's going to be all right,'_ he kept telling himself. He wasn't sure he really believed it, but right now this was all he got, and maybe if he said it enough, the universe was going to listen and make it come true.


	19. Someone Like You

Morinth's place was in one of the better districts of Omega—not exactly a luxury apartment, but certainly nicer than the small, dark pads of the poorer areas. It even came with a few windows that let some light in through the grimy glass and displayed a depressing view of the neighboring buildings.

Shepard walked around, examining every little item in the spacious room, trying to bide her time until Samara arrived. She hoped it would be soon; Morinth gave her the creeps, and the appraising looks the asari was giving her made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Besides, being alone with a mind-controlling murderer wasn't exactly her idea of a fun evening.

Eventually she ran out of objects to make small talk about, so she took a deep breath and walked over to the couch to sit down. She was careful to position herself as far as she could from her host, but that didn't work for long. Morinth went on and on about music, blood, power, and death, until she got tired of mere chatting and decided to move in for the kill. She got up, sauntered over to where the commander was sitting, and landed herself on her lap.

"You and I have a lot in common. I think we would both choose freedom over safety. Independence over submission. We are quite alike, you and I." Her lips smiled, but her cold eyes focused on her newest prey with an unblinking gaze.

It took all her self-control, but Shepard managed to resist the urge to shove her off. "Is that so?" she asked with a strained smirk.

Where the hell was Samara? It was getting hard to control her right hand and prevent it from curling into a fist and punching Morinth square on the jaw. Maybe it was time to consider the possibility that the justicar had lost their trail, and come up with a quick plan to eliminate the fugitive herself. She was unarmed (she mentally kicked herself now for having agreed to _that_ part of the deal), but it had not escaped her attention that there was an assault rifle displayed prominently on the wall across from the couch. Maybe she could nonchalantly stroll up to it and pick it up, as if she was examining it, then surprise the asari with a few well-placed bullet holes right between her eyes. On the other hand, there was no guarantee that the rifle was even loaded, and she didn't fancy being ripped apart by the powerful biotic if the gun clicked empty. A better idea might be if she could excuse herself, go into the bathroom, then come out with her tactical cloak on and set up an incinerate attack before that sociopath even knew what was happening.

She was about to put her plan into action when Morinth moved off her lap and settled down by her side. _'That's more like it,'_ Shepard thought, but her relief was short-lived. Morinth's eyes went black and the air seemed to fill with a strange kind of electricity as she leaned closer and started up her little speech that was no doubt the last thing her victims had ever heard. "Look into my eyes and tell me you want me. Tell me you'd kill for me. Anything I want."

 _'That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard,'_ Shepard wanted to say, but the words got stuck in her throat. Her skin was tingling, her heartbeat sped up to an utterly unreasonable pace, and she started to have trouble drawing air into her lungs. The worst part of it, though, was the fog that began to settle over her mind. It felt as though a dark mist was seeping in, probing for an easily accessible channel to push its despicable tendrils through.

Not that it was entirely unpleasant; in fact, the tingling of her skin turned into a delightful flush as it slowly spread throughout every cell in her body and the heat started to build up in her groin. She had a vague feeling that she was supposed to experience unimaginable pleasure at this point, but she knew with every fiber of her being that none of this was right. Pleasure, after all, should have come from the caress of a strong, three-fingered hand and the rumble of a dual-tone voice vibrating through her body, and not from these black, sinister, empty eyes and their siren's song trying to penetrate her mind.

"Garrus," she gasped out as the picture of his face flashed up behind her eyelids. He seemed to be watching her intently, urging her to fight, resist, never give up. Morinth's stranglehold on her consciousness seemed to slip for a moment at that, enough for Shepard to shake herself out of this daze and growl, "I wouldn't want you even if you were the last person alive."

"But you... Who _are_ you?" The asari's irises regained their normal color as she stared at the woman next to her with wide, disdainful eyes. "Oh, no—I see what's going on. The bitch herself found a little helper."

Shepard didn't get the chance to answer; the apartment's door slid open and Samara finally charged in, and she was more than happy to let the justicar handle the rest. She watched in awe and amazement and, admittedly, with a certain measure of nervousness, as the two mighty biotics battled for dominance, hurling insults and furniture at each other. When the time came to choose sides, she did not hesitate for a second—after all, it might not have been Morinth's choice to be born an Ardat-Yakshi, but it certainly had been her decision to turn into a monster.

"Find peace in the embrace of the goddess," Samara said in the same unemotional voice she used every morning to ask Gardner for a cup of hot herbal tea in the mess hall, and then there was that sickening sound again as she snapped her daughter's neck with a forceful thrust.

 

* * *

 

They walked in silence on their way back to the _Normandy_. Once they were on board, Samara retreated to her room, and Shepard instinctively started down the corridor to the main battery. It was getting late, but she hoped that Garrus was still awake.

She found him standing by the control panel that he seemed to have physically attached himself to ever since he'd joined the crew. This time, however, he turned around as soon as she walked in, and his mandibles flared out in a relieved smile when he saw her.

"Hey." She leaned against the doorframe as she watched him. God, it was good to see him now, especially after all the misery of the last couple of hours.

"Shepard. How did it go?"

"Fine. Morinth's dead. Samara killed her."

"Damn. Killing your own child – can't imagine anything harder than that. Is Samara okay?"

"She'll be fine. She's probably meditating in her room right now." She nudged her head at the console behind him. "Still working?"

"Not really. I've been waiting to see if you needed bailing out."

His voice had that teasing tone that almost always sparked a lively back-and-forth between them, but she'd known him long enough by now to notice the serious look in his eyes and understand the real meaning behind his words: he'd been worrying about her. She tried to brush off his concerns and come up with some cocky answer—something about being able to kick ass on her own, thank you very much, but she couldn't do it; her eyes began to burn and her chest swelled with all the suppressed emotion of this miserable night. She pushed away from the door and closed the gap between them without a word. His armor felt cold against her skin, but she didn't care; she threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.

"Are you all right? Did she hurt you?" He tried to pull back to take a look at her, but she just held him that much tighter.

"No. Not that she didn't try." She pressed herself into him as close as his bulky armor let her and closed her eyes as she inhaled his scent. He smelled like home.

"Then what's the matter?"

"Nothing. I've been just... thinking about Nef. Poor, lonely, innocent Nef. She deserved so much more. She should have met someone kind, caring, supportive..." She was rambling, she knew it, but she couldn't stop herself. She'd been thinking about this ever since they'd left Morinth's apartment. "Someone like... you. I'm so lucky to have you, Garrus." That last sentence came out as a choked whisper, and for a moment she hoped that he hadn't actually heard what she'd just said. Not that it wasn't the truth, but it wasn't exactly her style to go all mushy like that. Garrus, however, didn't seem to mind. He wrapped his arms around her so tight that she could barely breathe and he let out the most affectionate rumble she'd ever heard from him. Then he said something that took her by surprise: he called her _Jane._

She never even knew that he was aware of her first name. Everybody, Garrus included, had always called her _Shepard_ or _Commander_. She didn't really mind—in fact, she'd never been too fond of plain old _Jane_ anyway. But damn, when he said it now, it sounded like it was the most beautiful word in the whole universe.

She leaned back a bit so she could look at him. "Say that again."

"What?'

"My name."

"Shepard."

"No, my first name."

"Jane..." There it was again. That rich, dual-toned voice, full of warmth and devotion—it set off a thousand butterflies in her belly, and she had to bite into her lower lip to keep it from trembling.

She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his head down for a kiss. His tongue slipped in expertly; she had to admit that he had become quite proficient in this human gesture since their first night together. She let out a small, satisfied sigh as their tongues slid against each other and his hand wandered down from her waist to her backside. He stroked its curve, enjoying the way the soft material of her dress followed her shape oh, so faithfully, then he gave it a firm squeeze as he pressed his hips into her. She longed to feel his hardness against her body, but his armor was in the way, so she began to fumble with the latches until he joined her efforts with a chuckle and removed the metal pieces one by one.

Before she could enjoy the results of their labor, however, he grabbed her by her waist, lifted her up and spun her around, then he dropped her onto the console behind him in one fell swoop. It would have been quite an impressive move, had he remembered to turn off the interface first; as it was, however, an angry red warning flashed up on the holo display and a loud alarm's blare filled the room.

"The commander's authorization code is required for arming the Thanix cannon, Officer Vakarian," EDI's patient voice rang out over the ruckus as Garrus desperately tried to find the correct key combination to turn the damn thing off. "Commander Shepard, do you wish to—"

"No, EDI," Shepard shouted over the noise, hopping off the desk and trying not to laugh too hard at the flustered turian fumbling with the keypad beside her. "Turn the stupid alarm off!"

"As you wish," EDI simply said, and the next moment there was finally silence.

"Dammit," Garrus grumbled as he brought up his precious firing algorithms. He prayed to the spirits that he hadn't just lost all the work he had been slaving over for the last week or so.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at his fingers hovering over the entry keys. "Garrus, if you're going to start calibrating now, I'll kill you."

His hands froze in the air and he glanced at her with a sheepish look on his face. "Umm... Duly noted."

He sealed the door with the push of a button, then he turned the interface off and locked the keys down—he had something in mind and he was definitely not going to make the same mistake again. He turned back to the smirking human at his side, but before he could pull her into his embrace, she put a hand on his chest and addressed the A.I.'s station. "EDI?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"Turn off all the surveillance cameras and recording devices."

"Done. Anything else?"

"That will be all."

"Logging you out, Shepard."

"Now... where were we?" She put her arms around Garrus's neck and let out a little squeal when he picked her up and deposited her back on the console.

"I was just about to admire... this," he purred. He turned his attention to her cleavage and ran a careful talon along the edge of her swooping neckline, tracing her exposed skin along its trail. "I like this."

 _'I can tell,'_ she was going to say, but the words came out as an incoherent moan when he bent down and dragged his tongue along the same route, giving special consideration to the valley between her breasts. He'd come to love these bumps on her chest; they were soft and firm at the same time, and the sounds she made when he massaged them sent a jolt of desire straight to his seam. He wanted to do it over and over again.

There were other attractive parts of her body, however, that deserved his attention, so his hands slid down after a while and gently squeezed her waist. Her outfit accentuated the dip there quite nicely, and ordinarily he would have lingered here for a while, but this time he had something else in mind. He grabbed her hips and pulled her forward to the edge of the table, pushed the bottom part of her dress up along her thighs, then he hooked his fingers in her underwear and, with her help, pulled them all the way off.

She bit her lower lip in anticipation and reached for his pants to free his erection, but he moved away. Her eyebrows knitted into a confused frown, but he pretended that he didn't notice. All that free time that had come with being left behind while recovering from his injury had been good for more than just calibrating the cannons and cleaning his guns: he'd been doing some research and... there was something he wanted to try.

He hooked his arms under her knees and dropped down onto the floor in front of her, resting her legs over his shoulders.

"Garrus... what are you—" she started. She abandoned the question and let out a breathy _'Oh'_ when he proceeded to nip and lick the inside of her left thigh, close to her knee, then he moved higher up and repeated the gesture.

Her muscles trembled under her smooth skin, and her hands clenched around his fringe tight enough to take his breath away for a moment. He hoped that it was out of arousal and not because of discomfort on her part; he'd never done this before, and he couldn't help but worry about whether he was doing it right. When he took an experimental lick of her folds and she shuddered with a needy moan, however, he knew that he was on the right track. Encouraged by her reaction, he continued his ministrations, making his swipes a bit longer and harder this time. He let out a happy little chuckle when she asked, obviously struggling to get the words out between the lustful groans that escaped her throat, "Do turians... mmm... do this, too?"

"Not really. But... remember Mordin's files?" He carefully nipped her delicate skin, then he slowly dragged his tongue along the same place before he continued. "They turned out to be quite... illuminating." He looked up at her, raising his eyebrow plates in mock concern. "But I can stop if you don't like it..."

"No! I mean... carry on." She waved an encouraging hand, trying to go for gracious as opposed to desperate, and he returned to his abandoned task with a grin.

It was hard to believe that this was really his first time doing this, but then again, he'd always been a quick study. He put his long tongue to good use as he explored her favorite spots, circling and laving and pushing and lapping, caressing that little nub one moment, then dipping in further down the next. His strokes were gentle, but persistent, alternating speed, location and pressure with just the right frequency, taking cues from the rise and fall of her labored breaths and the involuntary movement of her hips. He loved it all; he loved her taste, and he loved the effect he could have on her. The way she moaned, the way her thighs quivered, and how she stroked the back of his neck as she held him close, urging him to go on. He was almost sorry that it was over when she reached her peak, crying out his name and digging her fingernails into the sensitive skin below his fringe as her body shook and trembled underneath him. He kept up his ministrations to draw out every last bit of her aftershock, and pressed his tongue against her wet seam to soak up the incredible pulses that rocked her body as she came off her high.

He slowly stood up when she finally went limp and collapsed onto her elbows and her legs loosened their death grip around his head. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair was sweaty as she lay there gasping for air, but she looked up at him with a happy smile. He stroked her legs as he grinned back down at her. It warmed his heart to see her so peaceful and relaxed, and the knowledge that he was the one who could give her this small haven, this reprieve from all the stress and pain of these last few weeks—and whatever lay ahead of them—filled his chest with so much pride and joy that he thought it was going to burst at any moment.

"That was... amazing," she said, still hungry for air, when she could finally muster enough energy to sit up. She planted a kiss on his mouth, then she buried her face in the crook of his neck and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Do you want to... find out for yourself how it feels?"

He had to swallow past the lump in his throat before he could answer. Judging from the vids, the reversal of this act seemed to be quite enjoyable for the males of her species, too, and, truth be told, he _had_ wondered how it would feel to have her lips around him. "I wouldn't mind finding out," he croaked out and laughed along with her when she let out a small chuckle.

"All right. But let's take it to my room. We would be a bit more comfortable there."

She slid off the desk, picked up her underwear that had been discarded on the floor, and pulled it back on. "Wait for a few minutes, then come up to my cabin," she said as she headed for the door.

He nodded, then he released the seal. "I'll be there. And, Jane..." he added, his eyes raking over her body for one last time, "keep your dress on. _I_ want to take it off."

She tried not to blush, but it was impossible when he said things like that. "I'll be waiting," she replied with a wink, then she walked out, swaying her hips and hoping he was watching.

She couldn't wipe the smile off her face as she strolled through the empty mess hall and took the elevator up to her quarters.

Oh, yes. She was definitely the luckiest woman alive.


	20. Teamwork

The next few weeks went by in a blur. There were missions to complete, people to save, minerals to mine. The one assignment Shepard kept putting off was getting to that derelict Reaper Cerberus had found trapped in the gravity field of a brown dwarf and extracting its IFF. The Illusive Man hoped that the code would be enough to protect the _Normandy_ while they passed through the Omega-4 Relay, but the commander had a nagging feeling that it wasn't going to be that easy. When it came to the Reapers, derelict or not, you had to assume that the worst possible thing was going to happen. Who knew what awaited them once they boarded? She couldn't discard the possibility that getting their hands on that IFF could somehow alert the Reapers to their plans, and if that came to pass, they might be forced to enter the relay sooner than they'd like—before they were absolutely ready.

No, this mission was too important to leave their chances hanging on such uncertain terms. They needed to stack the cards in their favor and gather as many upgrades and resources as they could possibly manage before embarking on that trip, not to mention ensure that the whole crew operated at maximum efficiency, without any distractions that could jeopardize their success.

So, when Jacob asked for her help with finding his long lost father, she gave the order to head to Aeia. When Miranda requested her assistance in moving her sister to a new location, they set course for Illium. And, when the Admiralty Board accused Tali of treason, they paid a visit to the Migrant Fleet. It was crazy enough to discover that Ronald Taylor had used his crew for his own benefit, or that Miranda's father would go to such lengths to get back his younger daughter. But the thought that her own kind would bring such charges against Tali, of all people, was absolute lunacy.

"Did you really send active geth to your father?" Shepard asked her friend before they boarded the Alarei to reclaim the ship and prove Tali's innocence.

"Of course not!" Tali shook her head indignantly. "I would never make such a mistake. I always made sure that I only sent disabled parts."

The commander simply nodded in acknowledgement and waved them on. She didn't need to hear anything more. She trusted Tali—just like the quarian had trusted _her_ when she'd joined her team, putting aside her hatred for Cerberus, at least for the duration of their mission.

When the time came to face the admirals again, Shepard yelled at them so hard that she was pretty sure half the ship could hear it.

"This whole trial is a farce! Tali is a hero; she risked her life saving the Citadel from Saren and she risked her life again fighting the geth on Haestrom. She's done nothing but protect the galaxy and defend the quarian race! That should be proof enough of her innocence. But that's not what you're interested in, is it? You don't care about her! All you care about is the war with the geth!

The audience started to rumble, but the admirals didn't seem to be moved by her speech in the slightest. Admiral Koris pointed an accusing finger at her and spat out, "If Commander Shepard has no new evidence, I suggest we render judgment."

Shepard was about to tell him where to stick their judgment when a nervous voice called out and Veetor pushed forward.

"Wait! Shepard is right! Tali saved me. She doesn't deserve to be exiled!"

"Damn straight!" Kal'Reegar stepped up to stand by their side. He sounded angry. Good, Shepard thought, get the crowd riled up and on our side. "Tali's done more for this fleet than you assholes ever will! You're pissing on everything I fought for! Everything Tali fought for! If you exile her... you might as well do the same to me."

"Me, too," Veetor chimed in, and the audience went wild.

That finally seemed to have done it; the admirals punched in their votes and Shala'Raan declared their verdict. "Tali'Zorah, in light of the history of your service, we do not find sufficient evidence to convict. You are cleared of all charges."

"I can't believe you pulled that off," Tali said when it was all over and the crowd began to disperse. "Thank you, Shepard. And... I appreciate the things you said about me."

"No problem. I spoke the truth—I'm just glad it all worked out well in the end." The commander gave her friend a warm smile and nudged her head in Kal's direction. He was standing to the side not far from them, chatting with someone, but he took a glance their way every once in a while. "Go talk to him."

"I don't know... " Tali wrung her hands nervously, and Shepard wondered if she was blushing behind her mask—if quarians even blushed. She had no idea what went on behind that frosted glass.

"Go!" she ordered, and the young woman hurried off.

Garrus let out an amused snort behind her, and she turned around to find him looking back at her with a twinkle in his eyes.

"What?"

"I liked your yelling. It was very... impressive."

"Oh? Maybe I should do it more often then."

"As long as you're not directing it at _me_." His mandibles flared out in a grin and she reciprocated with a smile of her own.

"I would never yell at you," she said in a low voice, then she added with a wink, "Unless you do or say something really stupid."

"Good to know."

They shared a laugh then they slowly started to walk towards Tali and Kal. The pair had their omni-tools activated, and Shepard could only hope that it was to exchange contact information at last. She made a mental note to grill her friend about it once they had a few minutes in private, but right now, it was time to leave.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't more than a couple days later that Shepard had to do some more yelling, this time at Zaeed. His deal with Cerberus had included a promise to help with his mission in exchange for his services, and naturally, it fell on _her_ shoulders to make good on that offer. So they traveled to Zorya in the Faia System, supposedly to liberate an Elfell-Ashland refinery from the Blue Suns. Of course, this being Zaeed, she should have known that there was more to the story than that; as it turned out, his real goal was to take revenge on Vido Santiago, the leader of the Blue Suns who had betrayed him and ordered him dead 20 years before.

Shepard couldn't have cared less if Zaeed killed that vicious bastard and all his minions on sight—she'd never been a fan of merc bands and their ruthless bosses anyway. But when he broke a valve and set the whole place on fire, trapping all the workers inside, and insisted on putting his obsessive need for revenge ahead of the lives of all those innocent people, she was ready to shoot him herself.

She ignored his curses and proceeded to save the workers before continuing their hunt for Vido. Unfortunately for Zaeed, by the time they caught up with that monster, it was too late: he and his men had managed to get away.

The old merc was not amused, to say the least. "You just cost me twenty years of my life!" he shouted, pointing his gun at her head.

She drew her own weapon at him, and she could hear Garrus do the same behind her. When a huge beam from the burning building toppled and fell on Zaeed, pinning him underneath, for a moment she seriously considered leaving him there.

She put her gun away and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she regarded the man on the ground. "You started this fire; it's only fitting that you burn in it."

"Yeah? Well, screw you. Now come on, get me out of this shithole."

Oh no, she wasn't done with him yet. She turned around and pretended to start walking away. "Come on, Garrus, we have a ride to catch."

"Stop screwing around and get me out of here!"

She charged back and pointed her pistol at him. "Not so much fun being on the other side, is it? I'm not sure I want somebody like you on my ship, Zaeed. You put your own goals ahead of the mission and the lives of others."

"That's the way I've survived all these years," he grunted. "Never had to worry about anybody else."

"You're part of a team now. I have to be able to trust that you'll do what you're supposed to and not act on your own impulses. There's no way we can do this unless we all work together."

"You... have a point. I'm not done with Vido, but I can put that behind me long enough to get your mission done."

"Good enough for me." Shepard signaled to Garrus to lower his gun and they finally lifted the beam off of Zaeed's leg.

He staggered to his feet and began to limp towards the shuttle. "Let's get the hell out of here."

 

* * *

 

She had to give it to Zaeed: he was true to his word and never mentioned Vido or his missed opportunity again. He seemed to be back to his old self, shooting the breeze with whoever was willing to listen to his never-ending tales of survival, and he followed orders and displayed a surprising amount of cooperation when they were on missions together.

Once all the upgrades had been installed and everybody on the team was able to fully concentrate on their task, Shepard finally made the decision to travel to Mnemosyne and board the derelict Reaper.

The ship was enormous and creepy, but just as she'd expected, it turned out to be anything but abandoned. Unsurprisingly, the Cerberus team had been thoroughly indoctrinated, and they had to fight through hordes of husks the Reaper had created out of them to get the IFF and reach the core. What she had _not_ expected, however, was the lone geth that they found on board. Even more shocking was the fact that not only was it not interested in killing them, but it actually fought the husks and even watched Shepard's back when one of those freaks was about to surprise her from behind.

When it came time to escape the doomed vessel, she hesitated only for a second before she decided to take the geth's disabled body with them. Garrus wasn't sure about the sanity of that idea, but she ignored his protests, and they eventually tossed the motionless A.I. into the _Normandy_ through the open door of the portside airlock.

Talking to their new charge, once it had been repaired and activated, proved rather informative. As it turned out, they had a common enemy in the Reapers—or, "Old Machines", as the synthetic called them. Apparently the geth that had fought alongside Saren was a splinter cell that had been seduced by Reaper technology, while the majority, in fact, opposed their common enemy.

"Welcome to the team," Shepard said, extending her hand, when the geth proposed an alliance.

If there was one sentence she'd never thought she would say to these things one day, that must have been it, but she just couldn't pass up the opportunity to have such a powerful ally on their side. So Legion, as they'd come to call him, settled in the A.I. core and began his new career as one of the illustrious members of Commander Shepard's elite squad.

Tali wasn't exactly happy with her decision, but she relented somewhat when they infiltrated the heretics' station and destroyed their programs. Legion turned out to be a highly capable and reliable squadmate and Shepard couldn't have been more pleased with the success of their mission.

There were still some uncomfortable feelings among the crew, however, about having one of his kind in their group, so when a scan of Zada Ban revealed a Blood Pack base, she decided that taking that place down was the perfect opportunity for some team-building exercise.

 

* * *

 

"All right everyone, listen up!" Shepard barked out as she marched into the Communications Room and took her place at the head of the big, oval desk in the center.

This was the first time that the whole team was in one place for a briefing, and she could already see that her hunch had been correct: they definitely needed to practice working together as a cohesive unit. Legion was standing alone, apart from the others, a sort of cold bubble forming around him that nobody wanted to breach. Garrus and Thane were watching the geth from across the table, seemingly evaluating its weak points and coming up with plans on how to take it down, should it make any aggressive move. Tali had some kind of a program running on her omni-tool, most likely keeping an eye on the synthetic's processes as well, and, as usual, Jack and Miranda were sending murderous glances at each other from two different corners of the room.

Shepard rested her hands on the cool surface of the desk and leaned forward as her gaze traveled from one person to the next. "The Reaper IFF is getting installed into the _Normandy's_ systems as we speak, and once it's done, we'll head to the Omega-4 Relay. We don't really know what awaits us there, but one thing's certain: we'll all have to work together to take down the Collectors."

She pushed a button and a holographic display of Zada Ban sprang up in the center of the room. "We're going to attack and destroy a Blood Pack weapon manufacturing plant on this planet. I don't expect a whole lot of resistance, but this will provide an excellent chance for us to do a trial run as a team, so I'm taking all of you on this mission."

"The IFF is nearly installed, Shepard," EDI's voice chimed in as her blue sphere shimmered to life. "However, I still need to test its impact on the _Normandy's_ systems. I suggest you take the shuttle to this location."

"Are we even going to fit?" Jack put her hands on her hips as she wearily eyed Grunt's bulky frame by her side. He was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. He hadn't gone on a mission in quite a while and couldn't wait to get out and blast some heads off with the new shotgun Shepard had bought for him on their last shore leave.

Zaeed folded his arms across his chest and leaned back on one leg as he flashed a wide grin at the tattooed biotic. "You're more than welcome to sit on my lap, sweetheart."

Jack let out a derisive snort. "In your dreams, asshole."

"There's plenty of room in the shuttle for all of us," Shepard said with an annoyed shake of her head. "Nobody's going to sit on anybody else's lap. Suit up and be at the shuttle bay in fifteen minutes. Dismissed."

 

* * *

 

The mission was a great success. The team worked together seamlessly, and by the time they all piled into the shuttle for their trip back to the _Normandy_ , the mood was much more jovial than before. Even Legion seemed to have been accepted as part of the group now—having your back watched by a squadmate with impeccable aiming and a cool head certainly had its advantages, as several of them had found out when a boom squad had attempted to sneak up on them from behind.

The cabin was filled with talking and laughter, but when the pilot's voice came on the intercom, it got so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop.

"Commander, we've just received a message from the ship. The _Normandy_ has been attacked."


	21. Captain's Quarters

One good thing about being the commanding officer of a ship was having your own quarters—especially having your own personal bathroom. Not that Shepard cared too much if anybody got a glimpse of her naked body (after all, she'd left the last remnants of her modesty at the door the moment she'd enlisted in the military), but the fact of the matter was that it was nice to make your showers as hot as you wanted and have them last as long as you damn well pleased. Right now, she really didn't want that scalding water to stop beating down on her body.

She closed her eyes and rested the palms of her hands against the wall as she stood under the deluge. The tight knot in her shoulders had started to relax somewhat in the blissful warmth, but she could still see the scorch marks on the walls and the emptiness of the halls behind her eyelids, and every time she thought of the Collectors walking through _her_ ship like they owned the place, rounding up _her_ crew and dragging them away as if they were a pack of wild animals, she felt like she was going to explode.

"Fucking bastards." She hit the wall with her fist and hissed out in pain when the hard metal scraped off a layer of her softened skin. It stung, but her skin weave repaired the damage almost immediately.

Nevertheless, it was time to stop brooding and wasting water, so she turned off the shower and reached for the towel to dry off.

She almost ran Garrus over when she charged out of the bathroom. He grabbed her arms to stop her before her face could make contact with his carapace, and when she looked up into his blue eyes, all thoughts of the damn Collectors dissipated from her mind.

"Garrus! What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you. You okay? You spent an awfully long time in there."

"Just how long have you been standing here?"

"A while." His eyes slid down and settled on her collarbones peeking out from under the neckline of the oversized tee shirt she'd thrown on after her bath. He couldn't help but notice the glistening drops of water that had collected in the hollow of her throat, and he had to make a concentrated effort to control the overwhelming urge to bend down and lick that moisture right off her skin.

"I was just taking a shower." She shrugged her shoulders, hoping that the casual tone she'd forced on her voice was convincing enough, and pulled away to head down the stairs and get her clothes from her locker. They had a couple of hours before their arrival at the Omega-4 Relay, and she had no intentions of spending all that time in her armor, as comfortable as it was (relatively speaking). Apparently Garrus had had the same idea, because he was wearing his civvies for a change.

She stopped in her tracks when she caught sight of a pile of ration bars and two bottles of water on her coffee table. "What's this?"

"You didn't come down to eat, so I figured I'd bring up some food. I don't know about you, but I'm starving." He wasn't going to take _'no'_ for an answer; she needed her energy now more than ever, and damned if he wasn't going to make sure that she was at her best when they finally took the fight to the Collectors.

"Yeah. I didn't feel like eating in the mess hall. It was too... empty." She walked over to the couch and dropped down on it with a grateful smile. "Thanks."

"No problem." He sat down next to her and picked up a dextro bar. "I didn't feel like eating in the mess either."

 

* * *

 

Shepard took one last bite of her food then washed it down with a gulp of water before she crumpled the foil and hurled the shiny little metallic ball into the trash can by her desk.

"Fucking assholes." She shook her head and let out a frustrated puff of air through her nose. Who was she kidding? This was all her fault. "I shouldn't have taken everybody with me. Whoever stayed behind could have defended the ship."

Garrus's eyebrow plates pulled into a frown as he turned his head to look at her. So that was what was bothering her. He should have known. This guilt gnawing at her insides was all too familiar; he'd felt the same way when he'd returned to their hideout on Omega and found his men bloodied and dead on the floor. But this was different—this time they still had hope.

"The _Normandy_ was disabled," he said, waving a hand and gesturing at nothing in particular. "How long do you think they could have held out while more and more Collectors got on board? At least we didn't lose them, too. We still have a full team of badasses to take to their homeworld."

She considered his words for a moment before she nodded. "Yeah. You're right. I just... hope we won't be too late."

"Those bastards take people alive, and they haven't been gone that long. I'm sure they are fine, they're just... paralyzed. We'll find them. And when we get there, ah, how does Donnelly say it? We'll kick those damn Collectors in their daddy-bags?"

Shepard laughed. "Something like that."

She rested her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers. It took a bit of maneuvering, but she managed to intertwine her five fingers with his three. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Garrus." She planted a kiss on the side of his neck for emphasis and smiled happily when she was rewarded with a deep, rumbling purr in return. "I like that," she murmured, closing her eyes and letting the vibrations travel through her body.

"What?"

"That sound you're making."

He hummed in acknowledgment and rubbed his chin against the top of her head. "And _I_ like that thing you do with your lips."

"You do, huh?" She looked up at him with a twinkle in her eyes. "Like this?" She kissed his neck again, adding a lick and a suckle this time, and let out a pleased chuckle when his subharmonics dropped to a lower register. "And this?" She sat up straight to have better access and ran her tongue along his mandible, then she continued her trek on to his mouth plates.

"Definitely," he rumbled as he pulled her closer to deepen the kiss.

She eagerly let his tongue in, but she had some other ideas now, so after a while she broke away and stood up. He was about to protest, but he quickly swallowed the words when she climbed over him and settled down on his lap, straddling his legs and resting her forearms on his shoulders.

"What else do you like about me?" She watched him attentively as she waited for his answer, her lips curving into a nervous smile. Perhaps it was vain of her to fish for compliments like this, but even an intergalactic hero needed to hear sometimes that she was appreciated for more than kicking ass and solving problems.

He reached out to pick up a lock of her silky hair and rolled it between his fingers. "I like your, ah, hair. It looks... good. And I like your waist." His hands coasted down on her back, then moved to her sides and settled in that delicious dip that he loved so much. "It's very... supportive."

Shepard's smile turned into an amused smirk, but she bit back the sarcastic remark that wanted to roll off her tongue. Okay, so smooth talking wasn't exactly his forte. Still, it was the effort that counted, and besides, he was definitely quite talented at... _other_ things. Which he aptly demonstrated the next moment, when his hands snaked forward and took hold of her breasts.

"And I, uh, really love these," he said as he gently kneaded her flesh through the fabric.

Even if she wanted to say something now, she couldn't anymore; the only sound that was able to escape her throat was a strangled gasp and a moan. He sure knew how to push the right buttons to get her started, she thought, but then so did she. She reached behind his neck and drew a few lazy circles on the sensitive skin under his fringe before she dug her fingernails in a bit deeper and dragged them down towards his cowl.

He released a soft growl as he leaned forward to nip at her shoulder while his hands trailed down to her thighs and moved under the hem of her shirt.

"And here's another thing I love—" He stopped abruptly and lifted his head to stare into her eyes. "You... you're not wearing any underwear."

"That's right." She flashed him a grin through the blush that was rapidly creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks, and watched with amusement as his eyes lit up at his discovery. "I was going to get dressed after my shower, but _somebody_ distracted me."

"That bastard," he murmured, turning his attention back to nibbling her earlobe and slipping a finger into her wetness.

"I, ahh, don't really mind." Her eyelashes fluttered as she threw her head back with a groan. God, he was definitely an expert at turning her on faster and harder than anybody else she'd ever been with. "At least..." she had to swallow to moisten her suddenly dry throat before she could continue, "it sped things up." Her hands moved away from their perch on his cowl and headed to his front. When she glanced down his body and noted with a certain degree of satisfaction the rapidly growing bulge in his pants, she looked back up into his eyes with a grin. "Now we just have to do something about _your_ clothes."

Her deft fingers made short work of his zipper, and before he could even say or do anything, he was already bare for her. She stroked him from the base to the tip, then she scooted back to give herself a little more room and bent down to run her tongue along the same route.

Garrus sat up straight as his eyes opened wide and his mandibles went slack. Spirits, she was going to do that wonderful thing with her mouth again. He buried his fingers in her hair and closed his eyes, barely daring to breathe for fear of interrupting her ministrations, and gave himself over to the sensation of her moist, hot lips closing around him and drawing him in deeper and deeper. Every lick, every swirl of her tongue discharged a bolt of lightening through his body, and it took all his willpower to stay still and not buck his hips up in tandem with her movements. The rumbling sound emanating from his chest, however, could not be tamped down, and it rose and fell along with the wild beating of his heart.

His climax was approaching rapidly and, tempting as the thought of letting go was, he wanted to see her come undone first. He grasped her shoulders and pressed them back with a gentle push. "Jane," he groaned, "stop. I'm getting too close."

She straightened up and looked at him with a perplexed expression in her eyes. "So?"

"I want to satisfy you first."

God, the way he said that, in that rumbling voice of his, sent a jolt of heat right to her groin. She bit into her lower lip and moved forward wordlessly to position herself over him, and she sank down with the most obscene moan that had ever erupted from her throat. They stayed like that for a few seconds, connected but motionless, her forehead pressed tightly against his, before she finally started to move. She kissed his eyes, his cheeks, his mouth, while she raised herself up and sank down again and again, rolling her hips on every descent to make contact with the base of his shaft.

He let her control the rhythm, only thrusting up a bit harder every once in a while, each time drawing out a sharp inhale and a desperate moan from her. He knew she was almost there when her breathing became heavier and her movements sped up, and he gripped her hips to help her glide up and down on his length, matching her fast tempo with the insistent bucking of his own pelvis.

He held her tight when the shudders overtook her body and moaned into her neck as her tight channel convulsed around him, and she clung to him as if her life depended on it. She was still coming down from her high when she vaguely became aware of being picked up, and the next moment she found herself flat on her back on the coffee table, the empty water bottles scattering and rolling off the smooth surface.

Garrus was looming above her, their bodies still connected. How he'd managed to do that she'd never know, but she didn't really care. All that mattered was the insatiable desire in his eyes and the loud beating of her own heart as he wrapped her legs around his waist and started to move. His hips snapped forward and began their forceful thrusts, long and slow at first, but building up speed rapidly as every single nerve ending in his lower belly lit on fire and begged for release.

He let go of the tight control that he'd been imposing on himself until now and drove into her as hard as his aching groin demanded, and she reached behind her head to hold on to the edge of the table and keep herself in position through his determined jostling.

"You okay?" he panted, slowing down, afraid that he might have hurt her, but she shook her head and dug her heels into his lower back to urge him on.

"Never... ahh... been better," she moaned as she lifted her pelvis in offering. "Keep... going."

She didn't have to say it twice; he grasped her bottom and buried himself deeper as he continued pounding into her, the pace of his movements increasing along with the volume of his grunts, and in no time at all he started to feel the first waves of his pleasure creeping up on him. She was close, too, he could tell, so he reached down between them to press his thumb against that wonderful little nub at her center. The results were immediate; she cried out as her back arched right off the table, her body thrashing and her inner muscles quivering around him, and he followed soon after with a roar of his own.

He bent down and touched his forehead to hers once he'd stopped shaking, and she reached up to caress the back of his neck beneath his fringe with a gentle hand. In that brief moment everything was right; there were no Reapers, no Collectors, no war, just the two of them in their warm little bubble, oblivious to the outside world as they held onto each other and drew in big, hungry gulps of air and waited for the erratic beating of their hearts to subside.

"Garrus," she finally whispered, cupping his cheeks and lifting his head up so that she could look into his eyes, "no matter what happens today, I want you to know that I'm glad we've had this time together."

He leaned into her touch and closed his eyes with a blissful sigh. "Me, too."

"I just need one thing now."

"What's that?"

"Get off me, so I can peel off all those empty wrappers that I think are sticking to my ass."

He let out a rumbling laugh and stood up, pulling her up with him when she reached for his hands in a silent request. "Sorry." He looked her over and brushed off the two thin sheets that were indeed stuck to her bottom and thigh.

"It's okay." She flashed him a warm grin, then she started to drag him behind her as she headed towards her bed. "We still have another hour or so before we have to start getting ready. Will you stay with me?"

"Of course."

They climbed onto her bed and settled down, and he held her tight as she snuggled into his side.

"And if you want to go another round, you know where to find me," he purred into her hair, and smiled when he managed to draw a blissful chuckle out of her.

"I'll keep that in mind."

She closed her eyes and gave herself over to the sensation of his callused fingers running up and down her arm. That second round didn't sound like a bad idea. Not bad at all.


	22. No-one Gets Left Behind

Crash-landing on the Collectors' base wasn't exactly how they'd planned their arrival, but at least the _Normandy_ was still in one piece, and they were all alive.

Their welcoming committee, on the other hand, could not boast the same positive outcome. The new Thanix cannons had worked flawlessly (in no small part thanks to Garrus's tireless calibrations), and their old friend, the Collector cruiser—or what was left of it—had joined the extensive debris field orbiting the Omega-4 Relay.

Shepard called a meeting as soon as it was fairly certain that they were safe for the moment, and for the second time that day, the conference room filled with all the members of the ground team.

"The good news is, we've made it," she started, leaning her hands on the table and surveying the team around her. "The bad news is, the _Normandy_ _'s_ disabled and we have no idea when EDI will be able to get the systems back online. But we all knew the risks when we signed up for this mission, and we didn't come this far to give up now. We're going to get our people back, and once we have them, we'll take out this station and all the damned Collectors with it. All we need is a plan. EDI, bring up your scans."

All eyes turned to the holographic image of the massive structure when it flickered up in the middle of the room. There appeared to be two main routes leading to the central chamber where, if their earlier experience with the Collector vessel was anything to go by, they were most likely to find their kidnapped shipmates and possibly some of the colonists as well. Past that area lay the main control center. If everything went well, overloading the critical systems in that section might just blow this whole place to hell. There was only one little problem: they needed to get through a series of doors that, unfortunately, appeared to be locked from the inside.

"Looks like there's a thermal vent here." Shepard pointed at one of the shafts running along the length of the station. "Somebody could get in there and open those doors while the rest of us break into two teams and fight down the other two passages. Then we'll all meet up in the central chamber and go on from there."

"Practically a suicide mission," Jacob said, crossing his arms in front of his chest and leaning back on one hip. "I volunteer."

Shepard took a deep breath and stared at the flickering holo image for a few seconds to stop herself from rolling her eyes at Jacob's posturing. "No. Bravado alone won't cut it. What we need is a tech expert. Legion, you can hack through anything, and you can do it faster than anyone else. I'm sending you into the shaft."

"Acknowledged."

Her choice was accepted without a word of complaint from Tali or anybody else who had eyed the geth with suspicion before (apparently the team building exercise had been good for _something_ ), but when Miranda declared herself the leader of the second team, the room erupted into disapproving grumbles and groans.

"Not so fast, Cheerleader," Jack said, in her usual tactful way, what just about everybody else seemed to be thinking. "Nobody wants to take orders from you."

"This isn't a popularity contest!" Miranda burst out. "This is about the lives of our people and all the colonists out there. Who should lead the team, Shepard? You need someone who can command loyalty through experience."

Shepard raked her fingers through her hair as she looked around the room. Jack was right—Miranda wasn't exactly the most popular person among the crew, and she did need to pick someone everybody would trust and follow; preferably someone who knew what it took to be a leader.

Her heart ached when her gaze settled on Garrus. She didn't like the idea of not having him at her six, but this was not the time to make a decision based on selfish desires.

Garrus's eyebrow plates lowered in a frown when his eyes met hers. He didn't have to say anything; she knew exactly what he was thinking. He was supposed to watch her back. They were supposed to walk into hell together. However, he understood what needed to be done, so he tamped down his disappointment and simply gave a nod when she appointed him to the position. This time there were no objections; in fact, Shepard could have sworn that the air got a bit lighter in the room.

She pushed off from the table and straightened her shoulders. "All right, everyone. Let's go kick ass."

 

* * *

 

Watching Garrus and half her team jump down from the open airlock and go their separate way into the tunnel on their left was harder than she'd expected. She had no doubt in her mind that they were going to do their absolute best to give the Collectors hell, but she couldn't ignore the fact that this place was much bigger than any other vessel they'd explored with thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands, of enemy troops inside. Still, this was what the last few months' preparations had been all about, and there was nothing else to do now than to exchange a last ' _be careful'_ glance with her people and hope for the best as they walked down to their designated locations. It was time to teach those bastards what they were all made of.

Things went remarkably well for a while. They encountered no resistance in the first room, and in a short while Legion checked in on the radio to report his successful entry into the thermal vent. The calm, however, didn't last long. No sooner had the geth asked for their assistance with opening some valves that were blocking its way than a group of Collectors flew in and assaulted their position. Fighting the enemy while simultaneously rushing from control panel to control panel to remove those obstacles was not an easy task, but they managed and pushed forward.

The last panel turned out to be the hardest to reach. Whether or not the Collectors knew about the geth's predicament, they seemed to be doing their darnedest to prevent the team's advancement. Shepard tried to pop out from behind cover and make a run for it, but it was nearly impossible to do so with Harbinger's rockets constantly pummeling her location.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion's voice crackled over the radio. "You need to lower the gate to enable us to proceed."

"I'm a little busy right now!" she shouted as she emptied her clip into the assassin trying to flank them on the right.

Legion waited patiently for a while, listening to the sound of gunfire coming through his audio receptors. The heat inside the vent, however, was relentless, so he made the decision to alert the commander again. "Temperature rising to dangerous levels. Circuits on the verge of failure!"

If Shepard hadn't been occupied with lining up a headshot to take out the newest body Harbinger had just possessed, she might have contemplated the urgent quality of the geth's voice. As it was, however, she barely had a chance to duck before another rocket hit the barrier in front of her, sending chunks of the hard metal flying in all directions.

Mordin, on the other hand, couldn't resist making an observation while he set a couple of drones on fire. "Interesting. Geth seems to have survival instinct and dread of deactivation. Should study implications when back on board."

Shepard exhaled a puff of frustrated air. Legion perishing in the thermal vent and both their teams getting stuck behind those closed doors, with no hope of accomplishing their mission, was not in the plans. "Keep them busy!" she yelled as she activated her cloak and prayed that it wasn't going to give out before she had a chance to reach her destination.

She ran past the drone that was standing just a couple of feet away from the console and managed to slam her fist into the panel just before her form flickered back into visibility. The drone immediately turned in her direction and raised his gun, but it was too late.

"Collect _this_ ," she hissed through her clenched teeth as she shot the bastard in the head, and he collapsed into a pile of flesh at her feet.

"Obstruction lifted. Proceeding," Legion reported, the earlier anxiety completely gone from his voice. "Nearing exit."

"Thank the spirits," Shepard muttered under her breath as she dove behind a low wall and finished off the last incarnation of Harbinger with her Widow.

 

* * *

 

They all made it to the central chamber just in time to witness the horrific fate of one of the Horizon colonists. She stood in the pod the Collectors had stuffed her in, paralyzed and unable to move until, for a brief moment, she regained consciousness. She screamed and pounded on the glass door as her body melted down into the essence of her genetic material, carried away through thick, despicable tubes to some unknown part of the station.

"Get them out of there! Hurry!" Shepard shouted, and the team launched themselves at the nearby pods containing their lost crew members, trying to bash the doors in with the butt of their rifles and clawing at the hinges with their bare hands to force the covers open.

Had they come just a few seconds later it might have been too late: by the time they managed to free their friends from their prison, the capillaries under their skin had already started to burst and bright red blood began to trickle down their faces.

"No-one gets left behind," the commander said, her voice dark and determined, when her kidnapped crew came to, shaken and nauseous, staring at her with the disbelieving look of a death row inmate who'd been pardoned just as the executioner was about the flip the switch.

"The colonists were... processed," Dr. Chakwas said once she'd regained her composure. Shepard had never seen her so pale and lifeless; her voice broke as she recalled the images that had been forever seared into her brain. "Those swarms of little... robots melted their bodies into gray liquid and pumped it into those tubes."

Shepard shook her head in impotent rage and tapped her earpiece. "Are you receiving this, Joker?"

"Yes, Commander. Those tubes lead into the main chamber right above you. The route is blocked by a security door, but there's another passage that runs parallel to the one you're in."

"I cannot recommend that," EDI chimed in. "Thermal emissions suggest that the path is overrun by seeker swarms. Mordin's countermeasure cannot protect you against so many at once."

Shepard rubbed her forehead with a sigh. Of course. There _always_ had to be something. "Gunfire won't even make a dent in them. We have to come up with a different solution."

"I might be able to project a biotic field and keep them at bay," Samara suggested. "I won't be able to protect all of you, but I could get a small team through if you stay close."

The commander nodded in acknowledgement. She didn't particularly like the _'might be'_ part of that equation, but their options were extremely limited, and while the plan wasn't perfect, it was still better than nothing.

"All right. Samara and I will take a small team through the seeker swarms. Garrus will lead the rest of you through the main passage and provide a diversion. We'll open the security doors from the other side and meet you there."

"What about us?" Dr. Chakwas asked. "We're in no shape to fight."

She was right. They were in enough of a bad shape already; they would only be a liability if they followed them into the heart of the station. Leaving them alone here, however, was out of the question.

"You don't have to." The commander turned to her favorite salarian. Losing his expert skills during the rest of the mission was not something she took lightly, but right now she needed him to guide these people back to safety and tend to their injuries once they were back on board. "Mordin, escort their group back to the _Normandy_. When you arrive, give them all the medical attention they need."

The salarian nodded, already mapping the best route to the location of the ship on his omni-tool. "Understood."

 

* * *

 

Samara's biotic field worked perfectly, and, despite the hordes of husks, abominations, scions, and other assorted enemies the Collectors threw at them, they managed to get through the area and open the door for the rest of the team. They provided cover fire as the group burst in, and sealed the door before the Collectors could press through.

The commander took a moment to do a surreptitious head count and was relieved to find that everybody was accounted for. Joker checked in as well, reporting that Mordin and the crew had safely gotten on board. For once, everything seemed to be going according to plan.

All they had to do now was to hop on a platform and follow the tubes to the main control console, overload the system, and blow this place to hell.

Of course, nothing ever could be that easy. The Collectors hadn't given up on pushing through that door, and it was safe to assume that it was only a matter of time before they'd succeed. The last thing they needed was to get attacked from behind, so Shepard made the decision to break up the team once more. This time, however, she wasn't going to leave Garrus behind.

"Garrus. Jack. You're with me," she said, climbing up on the platform in front of them. "The rest of you will stay here and hold this room. Don't let those bastards in—give them hell. Show them what happens when they pick on the wrong people. Let's end this once and for all."

She watched her crew take cover and get ready as their platform slowly began to move away and wondered if she was ever going to see them again.

 

* * *

 

Jack had encountered plenty of fucked up shit in her life, but this was a whole new level of crazy.

"What the hell is that?" She stared at the... _thing,_ slack-jawed, her head tilted back and her hands on her hips, as she took in the construction's skeleton-like frame and empty eyes.

Shepard tore her gaze away from the monstrosity hanging high above them to glance at the young woman by her side. "Apparently the damn Collectors are building a Reaper. A _human_ Reaper."

"I don't think they got the number of eyes right," Garrus dryly remarked.

Jack snorted and shook her head. "What the fuck do they want with a giant human shaped Godzilla?"

"A what?"

Shepard waved a hand. "I'll tell you later. EDI, how do we take out this thing?"

"The large feeding tubes carrying the human genetic material it needs for its development are its structural weakness. Destroying them should cause the support to collapse and the Reaper to fall."

"All right." Shepard detached her rifle from her back and lined up her shot. "Let's do this. I'll take the tubes on the left. You two take the ones on the right."

 

* * *

 

EDI had been correct; once the feeding tubes were destroyed, there was nothing to hold the structure up and it fell into the abyss below them with a most satisfying screech.

They could hardly believe it, but it seemed that they were almost done here; they just needed to overload the systems and get out as quickly as they could. There was no reason now to hold the room they'd left their comrades in, so the commander radioed Thane and ordered them to head back and rendezvous with the _Normandy_ before they'd get caught in the explosion.

She pulled up the control module in the platform and began accessing the main systems of the station. She expected firewalls and encrypted code to block her efforts, but what she did _not_ expect was to get a call from the Illusive Man. She had no idea how he got through, but there he was, his holo image flickering up over Garrus's omni-tool.

"Shepard," he said, "I've examined the base's schematics that EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery intact. We could use all that information and technology in our fight against the Reapers."

The commander abandoned her task to face the Illusive Man. She pointed at his holographic chest and poked a finger right through it. "First of all, they've liquefied people to build this thing. We're not going to step over their dead bodies to use this... this abomination. And second, having people in the vicinity of Reaper technology has a tendency of not ending too well. No, this thing is too dangerous. We have to eliminate it."

"Don't be short-sighted. This base is a gift. We can't just destroy it!"

"I've made my decision. We'll find another way to fight the damn Reapers."

She turned back to the control module, ignoring the Illusive Man's desperate attempts at preventing her from finishing what they had come here to do in the first place. She wondered if he knew this all along; it wouldn't be unlike him to set them up—again—and change the parameters at the last second. This time, however, he wasn't going to get his way; she gave Garrus a pointed look, and he unceremoniously turned off his omni-tool, shutting him off in mid-sentence, and handed her the explosive device they'd brought along for the occasion.

"Okay," she said after she'd planted the bomb and set the timer. "Let's move. We have ten minutes before the reactor overloads and blows this whole station apart."

They couldn't take more than a few steps, however, before the platform began to tremble underneath their feet and the human Reaper rose from the depths of hell.

"You've got to be kidding me." Shepard shook her head and let out an exasperated snort. She should have known that it was not going to be that easy.

Apparently the fall not only had failed to finish the creature off, but it had given it new purpose. It proceeded to shoot a bright red beam of laser pulse through the air, narrowly missing their location. Getting sliced in half was not appealing in the slightest, so they all dove behind a barricade and prepared for another fight.

"I thought we got rid of this thing!" Jack glared at Shepard, as if it was _her_ fault that the proto-Reaper had returned.

"So did I! And it just _had_ to come back _after_ I set the timer," she added with a groan.

"Looks like it's brought some friends, too," Garrus grumbled, tilting his head towards a platform approaching their position.

"Dammit. We don't have time for this. I'll deal with junior; you two take care of the Collectors. Try to knock them off before they dock."

The plan worked quite well; Garrus's concussive shots and Jack's shockwave sent several of the incoming troops flying backwards while they were still en route to their position. They were left to fall into the abyss as the platform kept moving, and by the time the mechanism stopped, there were only a few drones and scions left to take care of.

Garrus and Jack finished the job in less than a minute, then they joined Shepard's efforts at getting rid of the constantly moving monster in front of them, aiming at its red, glowing eyes and other seemingly more vulnerable parts on its body. It took a while, but it finally collapsed with a roar. Its body crashed into the platform they were standing on, tilting it at a precarious angle and sending them tumbling in all directions.

Shepard's stomach jumped straight into her throat when she saw Garrus helplessly roll towards the edge of the surface, and she launched herself after him without a second thought. For a moment she thought she'd lost him, but she managed to grab his hand at the last second. Her arm felt like it had been ripped right out of its socket, but there was no force in this universe that could have made her let go. She heaved him up and they tried to stand, but the stage suddenly tilted the other way, and they were tossed around like a pair of rag dolls as the whole place came down around them.

The last thing Shepard saw was Jack staring at her with wild eyes as she desperately tried to keep her balance and stay upright on a piece of moving slab in a sea of tumbling metal and machinery.

_'She looks like a surfer riding a giant wave,'_ Shepard mused for a moment, then everything went black.

She awoke a few minutes later to Joker's urgent voice attempting to raise them on the radio. She pulled herself up and looked around in a daze, trying to find her squad and hoping that they'd all made it.

The blood froze in her veins when her eyes fell on Garrus's motionless body, lying under a piece of thick, broken panel. She ached all over, but she willed herself to rush to his side and push the wreckage off him. When he opened his eyes and looked up at her, she felt so relieved that she could have kissed the ground. There was no time for that, though, since she still had to free Jack from _her_ prison, and they still had to escape this place before they'd be taken along to hell with it.

The _Normandy_ was waiting for them on the other side of the chamber they'd landed in, and they made a dash for the open airlock, racing against time and the enemy that came chasing after them from behind.

Joker standing in the doorway, picking off a few surprised Collectors with his gun and looking positively heroic, was a most welcome sight. They were never going to hear the end of this, they were sure, but right now they didn't care if he was going to brag about it for the rest of their lives, just as long as he was keeping it up and giving them a fighting chance at reaching their destination.

Shepard kept up the rear guard, letting her squad make the first jumps. By the time she got close enough to launch herself off the ledge, however, the ship had drifted a few feet, making the gap that much wider. She put all her strength, all her muscle power into her legs as she made the leap, but she knew that she was not going to quite make it. Her eyes met Garrus's terrified gaze as she floated through the air, aiming to at least latch onto any part of the _Normandy_ that she could reach. Her body slammed into the side of the ship as she grabbed the hard metal of the doorway, dangling precariously from the ledge while the Collectors' guns below them did their best to strip away her shield. Joker and Jack returned fire, giving her a small respite, and the next moment she felt two strong three-fingered hands grip her arms and haul her up into the safety of the ship.

"I got you," Garrus said as he pulled her into his embrace, finally exhaling the breath that he had been unconsciously holding until now.

"Thanks," she panted, still a bit out of breath from the exertion of the mad rush and the jump. She planted a warm, wet kiss on his mouth plates, witnesses be damned.

Joker had no time to make a smartass comment, since he had to hurry back to the cockpit and get them away from the coming shockwave and through the relay, but Jack, of course, _had_ to say something.

"Get a fucking room."

"Maybe later." Shepard's lips curled into a smirk, and she winked at the tattooed biotic.

Jack made some retching noises and rolled her eyes in feigned disgust. Garrus, on the other hand, couldn't have looked happier even if he tried.


	23. You Are Not Alone

The _Normandy_ was in shambles, but it could fly, and unbelievable as it was, they'd all made it back alive. Dr. Chakwas and Mordin had taken care of a few scrapes and bruises, and the crew had done some rudimentary cleanup—enough to allow unobstructed passage through the hallways, at least. There were more repairs to be done, but those had to wait for now: the agenda at the moment was to party and get drunk as they gathered together in the mess hall to celebrate the success of the mission and the survival of the whole crew.

The dining room was getting crowded and steamy from the collective heat generated by all those bodies in one place, but no one seemed to mind. Getting jostled and bumped into was certainly better than being left alone with the memories of the last twenty-four hours.

Even Thane and Samara preferred the companionship of their shipmates to the silent solitude of their rooms, and Mordin had decided to leave his lab for the occasion as well. He sat at the big table in the dining area, holding a glass with some green liquid that didn't look like his usual herbal tea. His eyes were bigger and shinier than ever, and his lips pulled into a seemingly permanent grin as he watched the people around him and listened to their banter, no doubt attempting to file as much information away about the drunken behavior of different species as his own inebriated brain allowed.

Tali occupied the seat next to him, sipping a drink through a straw and chuckling at Grunt's excited retelling of his firefight with the enemy. Zaeed, of course, was not to be outdone. He tried to impress anybody who'd listen with his own tales of narrow escapes and heroism, ignoring Joker's insistence that in fact it was _him_ who'd saved everybody's ass with his expert flying, and had he mentioned that he'd managed to kill a hundred Collectors single-handedly without even setting foot on the base?

Shepard was pretty sure that she'd caught a glimpse of the tell-tale glimmer of Kasumi's cloak, too (unsurprisingly, right next to where Jacob happened to be standing at the time) when she headed to the kitchen to refill her glass.

"Hey, Girl Scout!" Jack yelled over the cacophony of chatter and laughter, punching the commander in the arm when she attempted to pass by the biotic leaning against the kitchen counter.

Shepard stopped and rubbed the now aching spot. For such a small person, Jack had quite a mean right hook. "Yeah?"

"Nice job with the Illusive Asshole. You're not so bad after all."

"Was there ever any doubt?"

"Well, yeah," Jack snorted. "You always struck me as a goody-two-shoes. But now that you've told him to fuck off, " she leaned closer with a big grin on her face, "we could take the ship and do that pirate thing we talked about."

"Hmm. Tempting." Shepard laughed and patted the young woman on the shoulder. "I'll think about it."

She picked up the bottle of scotch Gardner had pulled out of his secret stash as a grateful thank-you to his rescuers and poured some of that rich, amber liquid into her glass. Donnelly had wrinkled his nose at it, calling it a cheap imitation of the real stuff, but she didn't care. It did its duty as it slid down her throat, burning a path to her stomach and spreading warmth all through her chest. Judging by the engineer's bloodshot eyes and his accent, thicker than usual as he slurred a wisecrack that made Gabby slap him on the back of his head, he, too, had eventually decided that it would do.

Shepard leaned her hip against the counter as she watched her people talk and laugh. She'd never thought that one day she would say this, but this was one of the best teams she'd ever had, as disparate and seemingly incompatible as they had appeared when she first brought them all on board. The Illusive Man was indeed an asshole, just like Jack had so eloquently said, but he knew how to find the best of the best. And now that their mission was done, she had no idea how long they were going to stick around.

_Damn._

She let out a deep sigh and rolled her right shoulder, trying to loosen up the muscles that had been pulled out of alignment when she'd caught Garrus in the Collectors' base and heaved him up onto their platform. Her arm was getting better, but her shoulder still hurt, and she made a mental note to seek out Dr. Chakwas in the morning and ask for one of her miracle cures.

"Are you all right?" Garrus's voice rumbled warmly in her ear as he stopped by her side.

"Yeah." She smiled up at him and shrugged. "It's just a pulled a muscle. No big deal."

"I might be able to help with that."

She cocked an eyebrow at him, but before he could continue, Legion's metallic form appeared out of nowhere and one of her model ships was shoved under her nose.

"Shepard-Commander, it has been suggested that you collect this item."

She glanced at the ship in Legion's hand, then up into his ocular light, then down at her ship again. "What?"

Legion's headlight flaps fluttered in what almost looked like embarrassment, and his head tilted to the side as he repeated what he'd been told. "Shepard-Commander, collect _this._ "

She tried to look stern, but she couldn't hold back the laughter as she took her ship out of the geth's hand. Okay, so maybe that line back on the Collectors' base was a bit cheesy. It felt damned good to say it, though. "Who put you up to this?"

"Pilot Moreau indicated—"

"I should have known," she said, not waiting for Legion to finish the rest of that sentence. She turned around in a huff and strode up to the table where Joker was still sitting with his captive audience.

"Commander!" he shouted upon her approach. Whatever liquid the glass in his hand contained, it sloshed and spilled onto the floor as he waved the cup enthusiastically at her. "Drink _this_!"

"Very funny." Shepard rolled her eyes, and she pointed the miniature dreadnought at the pilot with a scowl. "Nobody touches my ships. Nobody."

" _I_ didn't touch it," Joker smirked. "It was Kasumi."

"Traitor," the thief's voice came out of thin air. She flickered into visibility for a moment, her eyes glinting with amusement under her dark hood, then disappeared again.

"So," Joker started, calling the commander's attention to himself once again," when do _I_ get my kiss?"

"Say what, now?"

"Well, Garrus got one. I'm still waiting for mine."

The conversation around the table came to a sudden halt and all eyes snapped to her face, which, she was sure, was turning redder every second.

"Garrus pulled me into the cabin when I almost fell to my death on the damn base," she tried to explain, but Joker just gave a loud snort.

"Yeah, but it was me who provided the cover fire to allow you to get back to the ship in the first place. I say I deserve a kiss, too. Maybe two."

"Well, then you should get a smooch from Garrus and Jack as well. I can call them over if you want."

"Hell, no!" Jack yelled from the kitchen—apparently her hearing was as good as her biotics. Shepard wasn't sure if the expression on Joker's face was relief or disappointment, but it was rather amusing either way.

"So underappreciated," he sighed theatrically and shook his head before he downed the rest of his drink.

The conversation turned back to ships and missions and weapon mods, and Shepard took the opportunity to set out in search of Garrus. She scanned the room, expecting him to be where she had left him, but he was gone. When she finally caught sight of her favorite turian, he was in deep conversation with Dr. Chakwas.

She'd hoped that he would come up to her quarters for their own little celebration, but he seemed to be so absorbed in whatever Karin was explaining to him that she gave up with a sigh.

It had been a hard day anyway, and she really needed to take a nice, hot shower and get to bed, so she took her model ship, silently slipped out of the mess hall, and headed to her room.

 

* * *

 

She'd just lifted the corner of her blanket and was about to climb into bed when the door slid open and Garrus marched in with some kind of a bottle in his hand and a determined look on his face.

"Good, you're still awake," he said as he walked down the steps. "Take off your top and lie down."

"I like where this is going," she replied with a smirk, but she didn't move. She tried to sneak a peek at the bottle, wondering what part it was going to play in whatever he was planning for the evening. Her mind raced with all kinds of delicious possibilities, but nothing could have prepared her for what he said when he put it down on her nightstand and pushed her hands away from the hem of his tunic.

"I'm going to give you a massage."

She wasn't quite sure whether to feel disappointed or grateful, and she gaped at him for a moment before her lips quirked into a smile. Her stunned silence, however, was enough to take away some of his confidence.

"I, uh, made sure to check with Dr. Chakwas, and don't worry, I won't push too hard... human anatomy being different—not that you're weak or anything, I just—"

"Thank you." She laid her hand on his chest to stop his stammering, and she could have sworn that she could feel the wild beating of his heart even through the cloth of his tunic and the tough plating of his carapace underneath her palm. "That would be nice."

He blinked a few times before he nodded in relief and nudged his head at the bed in a silent request.

She pulled her tank top off and threw it on the far side of her bed, then she climbed on top of the covers and stretched out, face down, with a tired groan. "So... what's in the bottle?"

"It's a medicinal lotion from Dr. Chakwas. She said it will help relax your muscles."

He climbed over her and settled down on his knees, straddling her waist but keeping his weight off of her, and poured some of the creamy substance into the palm of his hand. She hissed at its coldness when he spread it over her shoulder blades, and he murmured an apology, then he set out to gently push the pads of his fingers into her skin in small circles, mindful of his talons, no matter how blunted they were.

She let out a blissful sigh as he worked her muscles, dissolving the hard knots with his careful touch, the heat from his fingers warming up her skin and spreading pleasure throughout her whole body. He concentrated on her neck and upper back, but soon it became too much and not enough, so she urged him to go lower... and lower, and soon his hands were digging into her waist, pushing and kneading the tissue and sending waves of fire to her groin.

She raised her hips and moaned, hoping that he would get the hint, but he seemed to be too absorbed in his task to notice. His hands moved up and down her body, digging shallow trenches into her flesh, until she thought she was going to burst with need. She moaned even louder and proceeded to push herself up against his groin plates.

That finally did it; his movements stopped abruptly and he asked, "Are you doing that on purpose?"

"Is it working?" she asked back, grinning from ear to ear, and she wiggled her hips for good measure.

"It sure is," he grunted. As if to prove the point, his arousal, painfully suppressed until now, finally escaped its confinement and strained against her body in a splendid show of desire.

He scooted down to give himself better access and slid his fingers under the top of her sleep shorts. She lifted her hips enthusiastically, her heart racing and her throat dry, as she waited in heart-pounding anticipation for the next step, but just as he started to pull the clothing off, EDI's voice rang out and shattered the breathy silence of the room.

"Commander Shepard, there's an urgent call for you at your private terminal."

"Ignore it," Garrus groaned, and he bent down to nip at the back of her neck.

She shuddered and seriously considered complying with his wishes, but when EDI announced who the caller was, her body went still and she turned her head to look up at the figure looming above her.

"I have to get this."

He rolled off her with a defeated sigh, and she scrambled off the bed, looking for the tank top she'd discarded earlier. She yanked it out from under his legs and pulled it on, but she decided that she still had too much skin showing, so she ran to her closet, grabbed a hoodie and her sweatpants and quickly got dressed. Finding her appearance finally acceptable, she hurried up the stairs and pushed the button on her computer.

It hadn't been more than a couple of hours since she'd sent her report to Anderson about the Collector mission, including all the data they'd collected, and she hadn't expected to hear from the Alliance this quickly. She hoped that Hackett was bringing good news; it was high time they took this threat seriously and began to do something about it. But if they didn't—well, she had a good ship and a good crew; they had accumulated enough resources to keep fighting and cover the expenses of those who might decide to stay on board.

 

* * *

 

"Commander Shepard, I need to discuss a sensitive matter with you privately," Admiral Hackett said when the holo display lit up over her terminal and his face came into view.

This wasn't quite what she'd anticipated, and she almost told him to go ahead out of sheer surprise when she remembered that she wasn't alone at the moment.

"Please give me a minute, Admiral." She gave him a brief nod before she turned the screen off and glanced at Garrus through the glass.

He was already up and on his way to the door. He wouldn't exactly call himself an expert on humans' tones, but he'd spent enough time around them to hear the seriousness in the admiral's voice. "Well, I should probably get back to the main battery. I think some of the targeting systems got a bit messed up and maybe I can—"

"No, don't. Would you mind waiting outside? I'd like to finish the, uh, massage. I'm still in a lot of pain." She made a production of rolling her shoulders and wincing in exaggerated agony, and he couldn't hold back the chuckle at her theatrics.

"All right. I'll stick around. Just to... you know. Help."

"Appreciate it."

He looked back at her as he stepped out into the hallway, and the last thing he saw before the doors hissed closed was the happy grin on her face.

 

* * *

 

Time seemed to crawl at a snail's pace as he waited in the small space. He leaned against the wall one minute, only to start pacing up and down the next, trying to push away the uncomfortable feeling that was starting to settle in his gut. The moment he'd heard Hackett's name he knew this was not going to be good. He had nothing against the man, he had never even met him in person, but an admiral wouldn't call and want to speak privately if some shit wasn't about to hit the fan somewhere. And right now he really, really didn't want to deal with any more shit; not after everything they'd gone through.

They were limping back to the Citadel to have some much-needed repairs done and drop off those who wished to leave the ship, and he was looking forward to a nice, long shore leave while docked at the station. He still had his apartment from his C-Sec days, and he hoped that he and Shepard could spend some time together. He could take her to his favorite places, show her all the sights they'd always been too busy to see, and maybe... maybe he could gather up the courage to tell her—

He stopped in his tracks when he felt the ship bank slightly and his sensitive hearing picked up a barely audible change in the hum of the engines; they were turning around and picking up speed as they changed course and hurried to a new destination. The next moment the doors to Shepard's quarters whooshed open and there she was, curling a finger at him in a wordless invitation.

There was a smile on her face, but it was obviously strained. Whatever Hackett had said must have put a damper on her mood.

"Thanks for waiting," she said as he entered her room, and she waved towards her living area, inviting him to make himself comfortable again.

He didn't move.

"Are we going somewhere?" he asked, his eyes searching her face.

She rubbed the back of her neck, staring at a spot past his shoulder, as she carefully considered her words. He was not going to like this. "Yes. I've given orders to head to Aratoht in the Bahak system."

"Batarian space? Why?"

"I need to... find someone and get her off the planet."

He narrowed his eyes as he mulled over her words. There was undoubtedly more to this than just paying a visit to a friend. Especially when it was to a planet rumored to have an extensive batarian military presence both on its surface and in its solar system.

It was not going to be easy, getting around the batarians' defenses; he'd need to check the _Normandy_ _'s_ stealth systems and assess the damage they might have sustained during their crash on the Collectors' base. More likely than not he was looking at a long night of digging through cables and wires and software—not exactly how he'd imagined spending his time, but having your plans ruined by an unexpected mission was something you got used to when you ran with Commander Shepard, hero of the Citadel, savior of the galaxy, errand girl of the Alliance. He knew it was useless, but he couldn't resist making a remark about this last point.

"And you're the only person Hackett could send in. Sometimes I wonder if the whole Alliance consists of one Commander Shepard."

"Well, not really, but I'm certainly one of the best." She gave him a cocky grin, but he didn't laugh, and her smile quickly faded away. Fine. She might as well give him the rest of the news then. "Plus, it's not an Alliance operation. It's one person going in to bust someone out of prison."

His eyes opened wide and his mandibles went slack for a second. "You can't be serious. Bust someone out of a batarian prison? And you're going in alone?"

"Yep."

"Why?" He started to change his opinion about that man. Sending them on missions all over the galaxy was one thing, but this... this was insane.

She folded her arms across her chest and leaned back against her desk. She wasn't happy about this either, but she'd made a promise and this was how it was going to be. "The Admiral thought that one person had a smaller chance of being detected. The batarians might kill this... person... if they see a squad."

"Your Admiral is a fucking idiot!" he burst out, and he started to pace back and forth between her office and EDI's station in the corner. He came to an abrupt halt and turned to face her when an idea took hold of his brain. "You could take Thane and Kasumi with you. If there's anybody that's good at staying unseen, it's them."

"I'm sorry. I can't. My orders stand." She straightened up and met his eyes with her most serious commander expression, and he knew her better than to argue about the issue any more.

"Yes, Commander." He turned around and headed to the door.

"Garrus," her voice reached after him in a wordless plea to make him stay, but he kept going.

"I have to check on the stealth systems. Get things ready. For your mission."

The doors closed behind him and she was left standing alone. Her room felt colder and emptier than ever, and it took her a few minutes to convince her limbs to start moving and walk down the steps to her bed. She slid under the covers and reached for the switch by her nightstand to turn the lights off, and her hand froze in the air for a second when her gaze fell on the bottle that Garrus had brought up. She stared at it for a while, cursing Hackett's terrible timing, then she pushed the button with a sigh. She turned on her other side and closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would soon claim her.

It didn't.

 

* * *

 

Two days. She was gone for two days—50 hours, 45 minutes and 18 seconds, to be exact—and Garrus spent most of that time in the battery, listening to EDI's updates about the state of Shepard's mission on his radio.

The commander had checked in a couple of hours after she'd set down on Aratoht to inform them of the successful extraction of whoever it was Hackett had sent her to rescue. Garrus expected them to return to the _Normandy_ , but instead, she and the mystery person took a shuttle to a hidden research station that was built into an enormous asteroid in the vicinity of the system's relay. She sent a message to Joker once they'd arrived, but after that there was no communication from her, and when they tried to make contact, all they got for their efforts was static and a canned reply that there was a problem with the base's comm system.

Something wasn't right, he just knew it, but there was nothing he could do, and it drove him crazy. Miranda must have felt the same, because she ordered the _Normandy_ to get as close to the asteroid as they could while still staying out of sensor range.

Her decision proved to be remarkably prescient when EDI's scans of the station revealed a sudden change in its trajectory. The rock was heading straight towards the mass relay and dozens of escape shuttles were leaving in a hurry. Shepard's request for a swift evac came soon after, and they managed to pick her up and make a jump through the relay just before it blew up and destroyed the whole system.

And now here she was, sitting on a bed in the med bay, trying to ignore the pain as Dr. Chakwas removed the last shrapnel from her forearm, patched up the wound, and put a dab of healing gel over it.

Garrus had seen her after worse injuries, and on almost all occasions she'd be joking and grinning, exhilarated by the success of the mission, but not this time. There was a darkness in her eyes that he'd rarely seen before, and her lips were pulled tight into a thin line as she stared at the floor.

"Shepard. Are you okay?" he asked.

Her head whipped up and she glared at him, her eyes cold as ice.

"I've just killed more than three hundred thousand batarians. How do you think I am?"

"It wasn't your fault," Miranda said matter-of-factly. "It was either that or let the Reapers come through the relay and kill us all."

"Yeah. That still doesn't make it any easier." The commander hung her head again, then she looked back up at Garrus. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's all right. I understand."

She gave him a weak smile as she slid off the plastic mattress. "I think I'm going to go to bed. Deal with this shit tomorrow."

"Commander," Dr. Chakwas called after her, "I need to see you again in the morning to check on your wounds. Let me know if you have any nausea, blurred vision—"

"Yeah. I know the drill." Her lips curled into a small smirk and she tipped her head in a nod before she walked out the door.

 

* * *

 

Her room was dark and silent, as usual, but every time she closed her eyes she saw pictures of burning people behind her eyelids and she heard the screams of three hundred thousand men, women and children in her ears. She pulled the covers over her head, but it didn't help.

She wondered if she should call Dr. Chakwas up and ask for some sedative to let her sleep. Knocking her out seemed to be the only way to turn those sights and sounds off and let her relax right now. She was about the reach for her comm when the doors to her cabin opened with a quiet swoosh.

She didn't have to sit up and check who it was; she immediately recognized the thuds of Garrus's boots on the hard floor and his earthy, smoky scent drifting towards her as he approached her bed. Still, she lay motionless, pretending to be asleep, desperately wishing not to have to talk about the mission just then. She hoped that he would eventually turn around and leave.

He didn't.

She heard the rustling of his clothing and her sheets as he slipped in behind her and she felt the bed dip down under his weight. His arm sneaked around her and held her tight; he didn't say a word, and her throat swelled with gratitude. She turned over and buried her face into the crook of his neck, wrapping an arm around his waist, and she pressed her body into him as close as she could.

His fingers drew long, soothing lines on her back as he silently held her, and her eyelids soon started to droop and her breathing evened out as she finally fell into a mercifully dreamless sleep.

He closed his eyes and listened to her soft sighs as he cradled her small form, and for the first time ever, he stayed in her room the whole night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to The_Red_Celt, Detective-Mason from ff.net and Tuffet37 for giving me some ideas for the chapter. 
> 
> Huge thank you to Laura Kay for beta reading the chapter, correcting my mistakes and giving me suggestions for improving the text. Thank you! :)


	24. Don't Go

The day started out so well. Waking up in Garrus's arms after a full night's sleep did wonders for her mood, as did their chat while they had their breakfast together in the mess hall. The deaths of three hundred thousand faceless victims had mellowed into a dull ache, soothed by her determination to not let their sacrifice go in vain. The Reapers would undoubtedly find another way, but it might take some time—time they could use to protect the rest of the galaxy, spread the word about their common enemy, and prepare for the invasion that was sure to come.

Even her checkup with Dr. Chakwas went better than she'd expected. Her cybernetic implants had done their magic, and there were barely any signs left of the trauma her body had endured during her fight with Kenson's small army on the research station.

Of course, she knew better than to assume that her luck would last longer than a couple of hours; she just didn't expect the bad news to come from Admiral Hackett.

The fact that he was willing to board a Cerberus vessel should probably have tipped her off that he wasn't merely paying her a visit for a debriefing. Nothing, however, could have prepared her for his warning of a possible court martial as thanks for saving the entire galaxy form certain annihilation.

By the time he finally departed, there was nothing left of her good mood, and she damn near walked into the doorframe of the med bay as she dragged herself out of the room in a daze.

Her feet, without a conscious thought of direction from her brain, automatically took her through the mess hall and down the corridor to the main battery. She marched in without a word and stopped by the railing, latching onto the metal bar and squeezing it so hard that her knuckles turned white.

Garrus glanced up from his calculations, expecting some light-hearted banter before they'd get down to the business of going through the list of equipment they needed to purchase on their next visit to a planet with a decent shop. His smile, however, immediately vanished and his brow plates pulled into a concerned frown when he looked into her face and saw the hurt and anger still lingering there.

"Are you all right?" he asked, shutting off his console and turning towards her to give her his undivided attention.

She shook her head. "No, not really." She went on to describe her conversation with the admiral and her decision to return to Earth in a few days to surrender herself to the Alliance.

By the time she'd finished, Garrus was seething with rage.

"And what about Hackett?" he growled, trying to control his voice, even though he was fairly certain that Shepard would not be able to catch the furious undertones in his subharmonics.

"What about him?" Her eyebrows shot up and her eyes widened as she looked up at him in confusion.

"What's _his_ punishment going to be?"

"Come again?"

"He was the one who sent you on that mission. He was the commanding officer. The responsibility is his. If anybody gets punished, it should be him."

"Well, I'm not technically in the Alliance now, and it wasn't an Alliance mission—"

"How convenient."

"Besides," she continued, choosing to ignore his scathing remark, "he wasn't the one who pushed the button and set the asteroid on its collision course with the relay. It was me."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, though I'm pretty sure I'm not, but wasn't that what Kenson's team was supposed to do in the first place? You know, protect the galaxy from a Reaper invasion? Would she be put on trial now if she had accomplished the objective she was ordered to carry out _by the Alliance_?"

She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a deep sigh as she stared at the floor for a moment. "I don't know. If they hadn't been indoctrinated they probably would have sent out a warning in time to allow at least some of those people to evacuate."

 _'You would have warned them, too, if Kenson hadn't prevented you from doing so,'_ he wanted to argue, but he knew it was all pointless. No matter what Kaidan Alenko or anybody else might have thought, she was _Alliance_ through and through, whether she was on their official roster or not. If the brass ordered her to become their scapegoat and throw herself into jail to save their own hides, that was exactly what she was going to do.

The enraged pounding of his heart gave way to a desperate ache as she raised her eyes to lock her gaze onto his, the corners of her lips drooping down in silent misery. He closed the distance between them in one step and wrapped his arms around her waist as he pressed his forehead against hers.

"Please don't do this," he whispered, even though he knew what her answer was going to be. Still, he had to try.

"If I don't go, the batarians will start a war. We can't afford that right now. You know that."

Indeed, he did. But that didn't make it any easier to lose her again. He let out a resigned sigh, his mandibles twitching in agitation.

"Fine. But I'll go with you."

She pulled back just enough to give him a disapproving look and a shake of her head.

"No. There's nothing you can do on Earth while I'm locked up. Besides, I need you out there. Go to the Citadel, to Palaven—anywhere that you might find some receptive ears. Tell them about the Reapers, the Collectors. Tell them to get ready."

She held his gaze until he gave her a reluctant nod.

"All right, I will. I won't let you down."

 

* * *

 

Instead of doing everything in her power to prepare the galaxy for the coming destruction, now she found herself spending the next few days breaking up the group she'd worked so hard forging into a cohesive unit and saying good-bye to her friends as they went their separate ways.

Legion was the first to leave. They dropped him off on an uninhabited planet in the Terminus Systems, close to the Perseus Veil. The place was cold and inhospitable, but it was perfect for keeping him off the radar while he waited for his people to receive his tracking signal and send a ship for extraction.

It wasn't as if he needed warmth and a breathable atmosphere, but still, Shepard couldn't shake off the twinge of anxiety she felt over leaving him out there, all alone.

"Will you be all right?" she asked, her voice crackling through the speaker of her helmet, as she watched him settle down under an outcropping.

His headlight flaps fluttered for a moment, accompanied by that pleasant whir she had come to associate with their chats these last couple of weeks, while he considered her question.

"Affirmative. Scans do not indicate any hostile presence. We estimate a period of approximately two hours thirty minutes before this platform is recovered."

Her lips curled into a sad little smile and she nodded her head in understanding. Not even in her wildest dreams could she have ever imagined that one day she would consider a geth her friend, but her heart clenched tightly in her chest at the thought that she would most likely never see him again. Nevertheless, they couldn't very well give him a ride into geth space or take him with them to Alliance Headquarters, so she turned around with a sigh and headed back to the shuttle.

"Shepard-Commander," Legion called after her. "We... appreciate the time we have spent together. Good luck with your future endeavors."

"You, too," she said, looking back over her shoulder. "Farewell."

His ocular light started to fade into a dim glow and he began to fold his form up to conserve energy, and she had to force herself to stare ahead and increase her pace to the Kodiak before she could change her mind and drag his metal ass back with her onto the ship.

 

* * *

 

Saying goodbye to Grunt wasn't any easier. She watched with a mixture of pride and sorrow as he stepped out of the shuttle when they landed on Tuchanka and walked into the ruins as if he owned the place.

He'd certainly come a long way since she'd freed him from the tank, newborn but ready to fight, even if his growing maturity didn't extend to leaving his favorite action figures behind.

Wrex promised to take him under his wing and keep him occupied, and offered to travel to Earth and bust her out of jail if _"those damned fools"_ didn't release her soon.

"Or you could just stay here, Shepard," he rumbled and waved an arm around in a wide circle, gesturing proudly at the rubble around them as if it was the most beautiful place one could hope to call a home. "Screw the Alliance."

"I wish I could, Wrex," she laughed, her eyes glinting warmly in appreciation. She took his large hand in hers and shook it as she got ready to leave. "Take good care of my boy."

"Will do."

She went in search of Grunt, who had already wandered off to watch the fight in the varren pit, and gave his arm an affectionate rub before she turned around, blinking back the tears, and hurried back to the shuttle.

 

* * *

 

They dropped the rest of the crew off at the Citadel. Shepard made sure that each and every one of them had enough credits to charter a transport to any location in the galaxy, and gave most of what was left in her account to Tali to allow her to buy a small ship to take back to the Flotilla.

She stood by the airlock, shaking hands with her departing teammates as they disembarked one by one, and watched with a heavy heart as they walked through the door and disappeared down the docking tube.

When it came time to say good-bye to Mordin, she ignored his outstretched hand and threw her arms around him in a tight hug. He was the closest thing she'd ever had to that crazy uncle she'd always wanted, and damned if it didn't break her heart to let him go. He stopped his blabbering in a shock and stood there frozen for a moment until his brain finally snapped out of its daze and he encircled her waist with his long arms to reciprocate the gesture.

"Take care, Shepard," he said.

She let go of him and gave him a warm smile. "You, too. Are you going back to Omega?"

"No. Reaper threat more important. Plan to visit Sur'Kesh. Look up a few old friends from STG. Present data from Collector Base."

"You're not going to talk to the salarian councilor?"

"No. Valern's an idiot."

She let out a hearty laugh and nodded her head in agreement, then watched sadly as he gathered up his bags and strolled through the door.

 

* * *

 

Garrus waited until the very last minute before he collected his belongings and took the elevator up to the CIC. He wasn't quite sure what he'd expected by extending his stay; maybe some kind of miracle, undoing everything that had happened, or at least Hackett to man up, step up to the plate and take the blame.

When he saw her standing by the airlock, bidding farewell to the last group of people to leave, his heart clenched in disappointment. This was actually going to happen. He was going to walk off this ship and spend the next few weeks, months, maybe even years, without her.

His feet felt as if they were made out of lead, but he took a deep breath and forced his legs to keep moving, and all too soon he was the one standing in front of her, extending his hand to clasp her own.

 _Goodbye, Shepard_ , he wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come. He stood there, staring at her, his sad eyes begging her to change her mind.

Her eyelashes fluttered, moist from the welled-up tears collecting in the corners of her eyes. She pulled his head down to touch her forehead to his as she whispered, her voice faltering with barely suppressed emotion, "I'll miss you, Garrus."

He wrapped his arms around her slim waist and breathed her in. This was all they had left; this moment, this last touch, the smell of her hair, the feel of her soft skin against his hardened plates. His throat felt too constricted to talk, but he swallowed hard and managed to squeeze out, "I'll miss you, too."

He lifted her chin with a curved finger and gently pressed his mouth plates to her lips, and she let his tongue in with a trembling sigh. He kissed her, sweet and slow, and when they finally pulled apart, she leaned back and reached up to trace the blue lines of his colony markings with the tender touch of her fingertips.

"Goodbye, Garrus."

His mandibles twitched a couple of times before he could gather up the strength to answer. "Goodbye... Jane."

"I'll try to message you as soon as I can," she said, trying to sound more positive than she actually felt. "I'm pretty sure they'll be monitoring my correspondence, but we should be able to communicate at least."

That was good. Communication was good. It was certainly better than not seeing her again for who knew how long and not knowing anything about what was happening to her.

"I will write, too," he replied, a bit more hopeful now.

She let go of him and stepped back with a weak little smile and gave him an encouraging nudge of her head. It was time for him to go.

He picked up his bag that he'd dropped on the floor before, casting one last mournful glance at her, then he stepped through the door and walked into the clueless banality of the Citadel.

 

* * *

 

Shepard tried to convince Joker that, with EDI's assistance, she was perfectly capable of taking the _Normandy_ to Earth, but he refused to leave his post. Ken and Gabby insisted that the ship would not be able to function without their expert help either, and Dr. Chakwas elected to stay on board as well.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head dramatically at their stubbornness, but she had to admit that it was nice to have them by her side when they arrived in Vancouver and landed at the Alliance space port.

The ship was surrounded by military guards as soon as it docked. She stood by the galaxy map, shoulders straight and hands clasped behind her back, as she waited for the Alliance personnel to come on board. They marched in, led by Admiral Hackett, and stopped a few feet in front of her.

The admiral gave her a small nod in greeting. "Shepard."

"Admiral." She had to remind herself that she was not in her Alliance uniform before she could automatically snap him a sharp salute. She felt almost naked in her civilian clothes, but there was no way she was going to wear her Cerberus garb for this occasion.

"I hereby relieve you of duty," Hackett said, his deep voice thick with sympathy and an uneasy reluctance. "You are remanded into custody, pending investigation into the events that occurred in the Bahak system."

"Yes, sir."

She swallowed hard and tried to keep her face neutral when the admiral put one of the officers from his entourage in charge of the _Normandy_ and ordered a young lieutenant to escort her off the ship and take her to the medical offices for processing.

She looked straight ahead, her back stiff and her head held high, as they walked through the CIC, their footsteps thudding on the hard, metal floor. It wasn't until they were about to step through the airlock that she finally turned around and took one last mental picture of the place that had been her home for the last few months.

There were still broken cables and equipment here and there, a stark reminder of their near annihilation by the Collectors, but for her it was still the most beautiful ship she'd ever seen.

They could take away her rank, throw her in jail, put her on trial, but this—everything they'd accomplished, the friends she'd made, Garrus—nobody could take _this_ away.

She laid her hand gently on the wall for a moment, as if saying goodbye to an old friend, then took a deep breath to steel herself and resumed her walk out of the _Normandy_ and into the confinement of her new life at Alliance Headquarters.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thank you to The_Red_Celt for beta reading and to Tuffet37 for all her help on this chapter!


	25. Wish You Were Here

For the sixth time that night, the air conditioner kicked in with a soft purr, and Shepard startled awake again. She must have finally drifted off to a real sleep before, for this time it took her brain a few seconds to realize that the noise hadn't come from the warm body of a snoring turian lying in her bed. Her hand stopped its fruitless search and flopped down onto the pillow with a disappointed thud, and she opened her eyes to stare dejectedly into the darkness.

A glance at the radio clock on the nightstand confirmed her suspicion: it was 2:30 in the morning—too late for mere catnaps, but too early to get up and call it a night.

She'd been tossing and turning ever since she'd collapsed into bed, exhausted and emotionally drained after one of the hardest days of her life, hoping for a welcome escape from the harshness of her new reality. The mattress, however, felt too soft, the air in the room too warm, and her mind couldn't stop churning over the events of the last twenty-four hours.

She wondered how the others were doing. Had Thane talked to his son? Had Jack paid a visit to Anderson, like she'd suggested, to find out about opportunities for a powerful biotic in the Alliance? Was Legion back with his own people?

And how about Garrus? Had he been able to request an audience with the turian councilor? Was he in his bed right now, staring up at the ceiling, just like she was at the moment, or was he asleep, his body twitching periodically, his fingers curling around an invisible gun?

Damn, she missed him already. She wished they were all back on the _Normandy_ , so she could go down to the battery or call him up on the intercom, tell him about the doctor with the worst bedside manner she'd ever had the misfortune to encounter, and joke about the glaring eyes of Admiral Mikhailovich as he interrogated her for three hours.

They'd have a drink together, he would make some wisecracks about all those damned bureaucrats, and she would laugh until her side hurt. She'd settle down by his side, rest her head on his shoulder, and he'd take her hand and squeeze it lightly.

She tried to relax and go back to sleep, but she was unable to do so. Finally, after a few useless minutes of counting sheep, she gave up on this impossible task and sat up. She was all awake now—she might as well do something more productive than just lie here in bed and feel sorry for herself.

Not that there was much she could do at the moment, locked up in this room all alone, with no working terminal or a single datapad in sight. Even her omni-tool had been stripped of most of its functionality: her extranet access, hacking programs, tech powers—they'd all been disabled, leaving her with nothing more than a glorified flashlight and a limited-capability personal computer.

She would have given anything to be able to video chat with Garrus right now, but of course that was out of the question. Still, she'd promised to send him a message as soon as she could, and as long as she wasn't able to get any shut-eye anyway, she could at least get started on that.

Satisfied that now she had a plan of action, she turned on the lights, fired up her omni-tool, and began to write.

 

_Garrus,_

_I don't know when I'll be able to send this message, since they locked down my extranet access, but I expect that sooner or later I'll be permitted to exchange mail with friends and family._

_My surrender went smoothly—though I wouldn't exactly call being poked and prodded in a medical facility a wonderful experience. I guess it's understandable, given the circumstances, to check for a DNA match and make sure that I'm not a clone or an impostor, and I suppose that if I were in their shoes, I would scan for any Cerberus tracking device or control chip as well. Nevertheless, I could have done without the snarky remarks and shitty attitude about my cybernetic implants and my cooperation with the enemy._

_Once I was finally released from the cold clutches of Dr. Noonseng, the real "fun" began. You wouldn't believe the bureaucratic bullshit I had to go through to get my status changed from KIA to Alive just so that I could be subjected to a rather lengthy debriefing by Admiral Fucking Mikhailovich. Remember him? Remember his hissy fit when he couldn't get his hands on the Normandy SR-1? Well, he got his wish now—they took away my ship, and I'm pretty sure he's going to claim it for his own fleet. That fucking asshole._

_I'm under house arrest while they investigate the scans and the files I submitted about the Collectors and the Reapers. Once the brass have gone through those, there will be some hearings about Bahak and our findings. I know it won't bring back the people who died when the relay was destroyed, but all the evidence we've accumulated should at least make everybody realize that the Reaper threat is real. Maybe they'll finally start doing something about it._

_The good news is that I'm not in some godforsaken military prison. They've put me up in a rather nice suite at Alliance Headquarters. I'm locked up and I have a guard, but at least I have a good-sized room and my own bath. I can only hope that they've extended the same courtesy to Joker, Dr. Chakwas, Ken and Gabby._

_Take care of yourself, Garrus. I'll need you by my side when I get out of here._

_Shepard_

Her finger automatically moved to the _Send_ button and hovered there for a moment before she remembered the futility of that motion. She saved the message instead, turned off her omni-tool and the lights, and settled back down on her pillow. It took her another twenty minutes, but she eventually drifted off to sleep and didn't wake up again until the alarm went off at 0600 hours.

 

* * *

 

Shepard stormed into her quarters and chucked the datapad detailing the terms of her punishment and incarceration at her bed. It landed on the mattress with a disappointingly soft thump, doing nothing in the slightest to ease the frustration and rage that had built up in her gut during her heated argument with the admirals at her tribunal.

Her hands clenched into tight, angry fists as she began to pace in the middle of the room. She should have known that it wasn't going to be so easy. She should have known that they wouldn't believe her; most of these people were so entrenched in their views and had their heads so far up their asses that not even a signed declaration of intent from the Reapers could have convinced them that what they were facing was indeed real and not a "figment of her overactive imagination", as Admiral Otoki had so condescendingly put it.

"Have you actually looked at the files I submitted?" Shepard had demanded, grabbing the desk in front of her and squeezing its edges so hard that the furious marks they'd left in her palms were still visible an hour later.

"What these _'Collectors'_ did was despicable," Mikhailovich had growled, curving his fingers into the same irritating air quotes that the turian councilor had always used, "but it doesn't mean that they were working with the _'Reapers'_ towards the annihilation of the whole galaxy. And yet, your wild ideas and irresponsible acts have resulted in the destruction of an entire solar system and have almost cost us a war with the batarians."

Shepard stopped her pacing and walked up to her bed to pick up the datapad and scan through the verdict again. The admirals might have been boneheaded and unsympathetic, but at least they'd refused the Batarian Hegemony's demands for her extradition. Moreover, as Admiral Kowalski had begrudgingly informed her, she got away with mere incarceration instead of a full-blown court martial, and she could thank Councilor Anderson's charm and negotiating skills for that.

They had also afforded her a little more freedom than before. She was allowed to go to the gym and the library now, and she could receive a limited number of visitors—only family and Alliance personnel, all under supervision, of course. She could request a holo projector to watch vids from a pre-approved list; outside communication, however, was still strictly prohibited.

She wished these new allowances included a shot of whiskey or two—she could have really used some stress release at the moment.

That particular thought didn't help; she missed Garrus now more than ever. Not just for the amazing sex that had always managed to drain every bit of frustration out of her system, but more so for his companionship and understanding that had become such an important part of her life.

She dropped the datapad onto the bed and sank down next to it, and after a moment of hesitation she brought up her omni-tool to write yet another undeliverable message.

 

_Garrus,_

_I sure hope you're having better luck with your people than I'm having with mine._

_I've just come back from my last hearing with a bunch of stuck-up admirals, and I swear, it's like talking to a wall. I know it's hard to imagine such a formidable opponent, especially when you haven't seen them yourself, but dammit, we can't just ignore the threat and hope for the best; we have to do something NOW. There's a whole galaxy on our hands, unprepared and vulnerable, and I'm afraid that it will take the damn Reapers to show up for everybody to realize what's at stake here._

_I want to be out there, screaming and yelling, until SOMEBODY will listen, but I'm grounded until further notice, locked up in this room and unable to do anything but stare out the window and watch life go by._

_My extranet access is still disabled, and I have no idea when I can finally send my messages to you. If you've tried to contact me, it was most likely blocked; apparently they still don't trust that I won't betray the Alliance to Cerberus "again"._

_I wish you were here, Garrus. I miss you._

_Shepard_

* * *

 

Kicking and punching a bag to her heart's content in the gym felt like heaven after having been limited to pushups and sit-ups in her room, but it was nothing like the workout she used to get while away on a mission. She missed the excitement, the adrenaline rush, the camaraderie, and she longed to feel the cool, smooth metal of her sniper rifle in her hands.

She let out a loud grunt as she increased the intensity of her jabs, releasing her pent-up energy and taking out all her frustrations on the poor equipment. The chain creaked and the leather cover damn near cracked open as she landed one hit after another, until she ran out of steam and finally stopped, tired and sweaty and out of breath. She took big, hungry gulps of air as she wrapped her arms around the bag and leaned against it, as much for her own support as to prevent it form swinging back and forth.

"Nice form," Lieutenant Vega quipped behind her.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes as she glanced back at her guard; she'd almost forgotten about him. He grinned at her, making a show of sliding his eyes down her body and back up again.

Anybody else would have received a hard punch to their jaw by now, or at the very least encountered the famous "Shepard Glare", but for some reason she could never get mad at James.

"Do you flirt like that with all your charges, Lieutenant?" She let go of the bag and grabbed her towel to wipe the glistening sweat off her brow.

His grin widened into a mischievous smile as he pushed away from the wall that he'd been leaning against, his arms crossed in front of his massive chest. "Only the good-looking ones."

She laughed and wrapped the towel around her neck. He was a nice kid, really. Not much for formalities or tact, but definitely much more fun than anybody else she'd met since she'd entered Alliance Headquarters all those weeks ago.

"You're so full of shit, Vega."

"Who, me?"

"Yep."

She headed out of the gym to go back to her room and take a shower, and he dutifully followed.

"You're watching my ass, aren't you?" she asked, not even bothering to look back.

"Maybe."

She laughed again and punched the button to call the elevator down. If they ever let her out of this place and gave her ship back, she was definitely going to ask him if he wanted to join her crew.

The ride up was spent in silence. James kept a respectful distance as he watched her in the small cabin, her back straight and her eyes unblinking as she stared at an invisible spot on the wall. He wondered what might have brought on the change in her demeanor; she seemed sad and pensive all of a sudden, her previous good mood all but gone.

When they arrived at her door, she walked in without a word and he took up his usual position outside her quarters. This guard duty shit was one of the most boring jobs he'd ever had to do. If it wasn't for Commander Shepard, he would have asked to be transferred a long time ago. He just wished it was under better circumstances; he would have given anything to work with her one day.

If they ever let her out of this place and gave her ship back, he was definitely going to ask her if he could join her crew.

 

* * *

 

Shepard leaned her hands against the smooth surface of the shower stall and closed her eyes as the hot water beat down on her back. The temperature was fluctuating again, rising to nearly unbearable levels at times, but she barely noticed the harsh little pinpricks of the strong sprays as they rushed out from the overhead faucet, pummeling her skin and running down her legs, only to disappear into the drain below.

James's flirting had brought up memories of another day, another place, and even though she had decided a long time ago that it was no use dwelling on the past or torturing herself with silly what-ifs, her brain refused to stop replaying the same thoughts over and over again.

It took her a few more minutes to finally come to a decision to tackle her obsession head-on. She turned off the water and reached for her towel to get dry. It was time to write another message again.

 

_Hey Garrus,_

_Do you remember all that shameless flirting we did on Illium when we were trying to find Samara and Thane? It was silly and unprofessional, but it was one of the best days of my life. In fact, come to think of it, most of my fondest memories are of things we did together._

_Sorry, I don't mean to get emotional and sentimental here, I just miss you. I miss being with you._

_I wonder if you still have the files Mordin sent us. You know, those "visual aids" he put together to help us relieve tension? I never really had the time to look at any of it, and I'd deleted them all before I surrendered myself to the Alliance. The last thing I needed was for them to add "xenophile pervert" to the list of my sins._

_Now I sort of wish I hadn't been so quick to get rid of them. If I don't have the luxury of having the real thing here, I wouldn't mind watching those vids now. You know, for educational purposes—wink, wink. Hell, who am I kidding? It would be for stress release, haha._

_Whenever I get out of here, we'll have to make up for all this time that we've lost._

_Well, provided you still want me... I don't want to presume... Maybe you've met somebody else by now. A flexible recon scout perhaps?_

_It's not like we promised anything to each other, and you're out there, single and free, so I'd understand if that was the case, but... I really hope it isn't._

_I think I'd better stop now before I make an even bigger fool of myself._

_I miss you, Garrus. More than I can say._

_Take care._

_Shepard_

* * *

 

The days passed a little faster now that she could work out in the gym and entertain herself with some books and holo vids, but there were still too many empty hours in a day. She missed taking her rounds on the _Normandy_ and talking to her team, especially to Garrus, and she tried to make up for that by writing to him as soon as she had anything new to say. It wasn't the same, but at least she could pretend that she still had a connection to him.

When her mother came to see her, she almost asked her to forward her messages to Garrus's extranet address. Their conversation, however, was monitored, and besides, putting her own mother into a difficult position by asking her to compromise her integrity was out of the question, so they talked about Cerberus and the Collectors instead. Hannah Shepard listened intently to everything her daughter told her, and promised to do whatever she could to convince those who were willing to listen to prepare for the coming war.

Anderson came by two weeks later to let her know that he had resigned as the first human councilor in order to devote his time to getting as much of the Alliance troops ready for the invasion as was at all possible. He had Hackett's full support, which helped, and the two of them had managed to slowly turn a few other high ranking officials over to their side. They began to stockpile weapons and equipment, ratcheted up the Alliance's recruitment efforts in order to pull in as many new soldiers as they could, and started to fortify vulnerable positions on far-away colonies.

Sitting on her hands, doing nothing, while there were all these preparations to be made, drove the commander—well, former commander—crazy. All she could do at this point was keep in shape both physically and mentally, and she soon came to the conclusion that if they were to beat such a formidable enemy, they were going to need the whole galaxy's cooperation. Energized by finally having a sense of direction, she began raiding the library's books and datapads about the history, culture and politics of the different council races. They didn't do much for entertainment, but she hoped that they would at least prove useful in providing some insight about how best to approach her future efforts of building an intergalactic alliance.

There was a section of old, printed books in the far-off corner of the room that she found quite soothing when she browsed for something new to read. She remembered Kasumi's love of old romance novels, and she started to understand her feelings a little better now; she had to admit that there was something comforting about the smell and feel of these remnants of the past. These texts, however, couldn't have been farther away from the steamy love stories that the thief adored so much. They were dry and boring, but Shepard vowed to read through as many of them as she could.

She picked up a volume that, judging by a thick layer of dust, hadn't been touched in ages but seemed to have gotten quite a lot of reads in its time. The cover was well-worn and the pages showed signs of having been turned over hundreds of times before. The title didn't seem that interesting; it was something about the military history of the Turian Hierarchy, promising lists of wars and skirmishes spanning a thousand years.

She wondered why such a boring read would have been so popular, and she began to leaf through the publication with mild interest. It didn't take longer than a few paragraphs, however, for her to realize that the book within was not the one the cover had been made for.

Her throat went dry and her cheeks turned red as her eyes drank in the story about a turian soldier and a human infiltrator stuck together, alone in the wilderness, all their collective troops gone after a desperate fight during the First Contact War. They had to overcome their animosity and learn to cooperate in order to survive, and soon they were fighting a losing battle of mutual attraction that led to the most stimulating sex scenes she'd ever read in her entire life.

She wondered who had switched the covers of these two books and whether this person knew how it really felt to have a warm, textured turian tongue caress the most sensitive parts of your body. The writer, a certain "Agnes Merriweather", certainly seemed to know what she was talking about, and just reading about it all made Shepard's heart race and her insides turn to fire.

She was about to find out whether Tassius was going to take Emma from the front or from behind this time when James appeared by her side and tried to take a peek at what had her at such rapt attention.

"Found something good?" he asked. He wasn't much for reading such heavy stuff, but he was bored out of his mind and anything had to be better than standing by the wall and counting the minutes as they crawled by.

Shepard slammed the book shut and clutched it close to her chest. "Uh, well, it's a... it's a... umm, it's pretty boring. Should help me go to sleep tonight." She chuckled awkwardly and scanned the code on the back of the cover with her omni-tool. "I'm taking it with me."

She checked out a few more books and datapads for show and hurried back to her room. She had some serious reading to do.

 

* * *

 

Five months. She'd been locked up in this damned room for five months, and she wasn't sure how much longer she was going to be able to take it.

She sat in her chair by the window, turning her face towards the weak rays of the afternoon sun, soaking up the little warmth that managed to make it through the thick glass. It was a lonely existence, living in this place all by herself, while life went on without her out there. She had good days and bad days, and today was certainly one of the latter.

Her communication with the outside world was still strictly restricted, but she refused to believe that she would never be able to talk to Garrus again. So, she opened up her omni-tool and began writing her message of the day.

 

_Dear Garrus,_

_I had a dream about you last night. You kissed me and made that purring sound that I like so much, and we made love. I was happier than I'd ever been since I came here._

_Then I woke up and you weren't there, and I wanted to punch somebody._

_I'm starting to wonder if I made a mistake by giving myself up. I'm tired of not being able to do anything. I'm tired of being lonely. I'm tired of not knowing how you're doing. I asked Anderson about you, but he had no information whatsoever for me._

_I want to wake up next to you, Garrus. I want to feel your hand on my skin, I want to feel you inside me, I want to run my fingers along the patches of soft hide between your admirably tough plates. I just... I want you._

_And I can't help but wonder if you think about me once in a while?_

_Forgive me, I know I'm being selfish and foolish. The Reapers are coming, I have no doubt about that. And yet, here I am, sitting in a warm and comfortable room, and all I do is whine about being alone._

_But damnit, five months is a long time to go without... you know. You._

_Anyway, that's all for now. I'm going to get back to a wonderful book I found in the library. I basically know it by heart by now, but I still read it every day. It reminds me of us in a way._

_I miss you so much._

_Jane_

* * *

 

Being a spacer all her life, spending six months in a closed environment shouldn't have bothered her that much. Still, Shepard couldn't help but miss the variety going on different assignments had always provided. She would have given anything to be able to go outside, if only for a little while, but she had to make do with watching the clouds float by and the birds fly across the sky in intricate flocks from the window of her room.

She could see the rooftop of one of the buildings on the opposite side of the street, and she often observed a little boy playing over there. She was watching him run around in circles, holding a toy Alliance fighter in his hand, when the door behind her hissed open and James walked in. She expected him to be holding a tray loaded with her lunch, but this time he came empty-handed.

He looked serious, almost solemn, as he gave her a sharp salute.

"Commander, the Defense Committee wants to see you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to KabiViolet for a speedy beta on such short notice and to Tuffet37 for her help with some military issues in this chapter!


	26. Into the Fire

It was hard to believe that these were the same quiet, boring hallways Shepard had walked through so many times before, going to the gym or the library, or, if the brass felt like it, to another round of interrogations—then back to her room again.

There was nothing left of the subdued and serene atmosphere that had always made her so uncomfortable. Instead, the entire place had turned into a beehive of frantic activity, with assorted Alliance personnel rushing about, their shoulders stiff and their expressions sullen, as they hurried to their unknown destinations.

Something big was happening, she just knew it. Despite her forced inactivity that had lasted much longer than she would have preferred, her soldier's instincts immediately kicked into high gear and put her senses on alert as she did her best to dodge all those bodies and follow James to the Defense Committee's chambers.

Meeting up with Admiral Anderson and hearing about something ominous heading their way did more than just validate the dread she'd started to feel in the pit of her stomach: it set her heart racing and twisted her gut into an aching knot.

The Reapers. It had to be the Reapers.

 

* * *

 

Of course, she'd been well aware, more than anybody else, that this day was coming. After all, this was what she'd been trying to warn the Council and the Alliance about, and preparing herself for the invasion was all she'd been able to do these last six months. Still, this wasn't exactly how she'd expected her day to go when she'd woken up this morning.

What she had anticipated even less was to hear a familiar voice call out her name when they finally reached the courtroom lobby and James offered her a good-luck handshake, which she took gratefully.

She turned around and let out a startled gasp when she found herself face-to-face with a ghost from her past.

"Kaidan."

Ten months ago her knees would have gone weak and her heart would have fluttered wildly to see him standing there, handsome as always, looking a bit more muscular in his new uniform than she'd remembered. A lot had happened since then, however, and right now the only emotion she felt as their eyes locked onto each other was a mild shock at her sudden realization that she hadn't thought about this man in a very, very long time.

"How'd it go in there, Major?" Anderson's query interrupted the surge of memories, both good and bad, that had started to resurface in her brain, and she snapped her attention back to her former lover.

"I can never tell with them. I'm just waiting for orders now," Kaidan said, but Shepard barely heard a word he uttered. He'd been promoted? When did that happen?

"Major?" she blurted out, unable to contain her surprise at this new piece of information.

"You haven't heard?" Anderson asked.

She had to bite the inside of her cheeks to suppress the blind irritation bubbling up in her throat. Where exactly would she have heard? "No. I've been a bit out of the loop these days."

"Sorry, Shepard." Kaidan rubbed his forehead with the back of a hand, and she wondered if he was getting a migraine. "Didn't mean to keep it a secret."

 _'It's not like you came to visit me and didn't tell,'_ she wanted to say, but she found that she didn't quite give a damn that he'd never come to see her while she was under lockdown. It was probably for the best, anyway; what would they have talked about? Her supposed betrayal of the Alliance? Her mass killing of three hundred thousand batarians?

Whatever he thought of her, it didn't really matter anymore. There was somebody else out there who had given her all the support, friendship, and affection Kaidan had withdrawn from her, and she wouldn't give that up for _him_ or anybody else in this universe.

Still, she couldn't resist the temptation to needle him at least a little bit with an "I told you so."

"That's all right. It's not like the Collectors were working with the Reapers and you didn't tell me."

His eyebrows pulled into a frown and there was a slight hint of a blush on his cheeks as his mind flashed back to their conversation on Horizon. "I suppose that's true," was all he got to say before an assistant waved Anderson and Shepard towards the door.

"The Defense Committee is ready to see you."

Kaidan gave Shepard a nod and a small smile, which she reciprocated with a half smirk and a steady gaze as she followed the admiral into the courtroom.

It felt good to be right. She just wished it wasn't about the Reapers.

 

* * *

 

Forty minutes later it was abundantly clear just how right she had been. Every single member of the Committee was dead, Vancouver lay in ruins, and the entire planet was under attack.

Leaving Earth and all that devastation behind, no matter how much she agreed with the need to gather support from the Council for their fight, was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do.

At least she had the _Normandy_ back, even if it had been sprung from dry dock on short notice and lacked the full crew complement as well as all the supplies they were going to need. Joker was on board, however, which was a welcome surprise, and it was no doubt due to his unparalleled flying skills that they managed to avoid all the Reapers in orbit and make their escape.

The Citadel, though, had to wait for now. They headed to Mars on Admiral Hackett's orders to locate some Prothean data that he hoped would be the key to winning this war. It sounded too good to be true, but Shepard decided to ignore that nagging little doubt in her mind. If there was even the slightest chance that whatever the Alliance had found on the red planet would actually help them stop this insanity, then that was where they needed to go.

Her team consisted of James and Kaidan. Vega had apparently settled down after his initial outburst at leaving Earth, and Kaidan appeared to be cool and collected as they readied themselves for their mission. Shepard was looking forward to working with him again; he was a good soldier and a talented biotic, and she hoped that he was going to have a calming effect on the hotheaded lieutenant.

Once they landed on the surface, however, it didn't take long for her to realize that it was Kaidan, not James, that she should have been worried about.

 

* * *

 

The mission started out well enough. The formidable dust storm looming over the horizon and their failed attempts at contacting the facility added to the urgency of the situation, but they weren't about to be intimidated by such small obstacles. They were going to get in, grab the data, and hightail it out of there as quickly as they could.

It all sounded good in theory, but the reality, as usual, turned out to be vastly different.

An hour later Kaidan lay unconscious in the med bay, barely alive, Liara was setting up shop in Miranda's old room, and they had a robot... thing on their hands, its burned and battered body crumpled up in the AI core. The shuttle had been severely damaged, thanks to Vega's spectacular ramming of the Cerberus vessel, but at least they got back the plans for the Prothean device that the Illusive Man's cybernetic lackey had managed to steal from right under their noses.

Shepard hadn't eaten all day and she was so exhausted that she could barely stand, but once she'd talked to Hackett and they'd set course for the Citadel, she refused to leave Kaidan's side.

Liara found her sitting on a chair by his bed, her elbows propped up on her knees and her head cradled in her hands.

She walked over to her old friend and nudged her shoulder with the water bottle she'd scavenged from the storage unit in the mess hall. "Here, I found some water and a few nutrition bars."

Shepard looked up and attempted a small smile. "Thanks."

Liara nodded and pulled up a chair to sit beside her. "Are you all right?"

The commander stared at the items in her hands for a moment. When she finally spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "Was I too rough on him?"

"On whom?"

"Kaidan. At the tram station, when we found that trooper and removed his helmet."

Liara's forehead crinkled with concentration as she thought back to the scene she'd observed through the window of the control room. There used to be a time, back on the old _Normandy_ , when she would have given anything to trade places with Kaidan and receive as much attention from the commander as he did. At that moment, though, on Mars, she definitely did _not_ want to be in his shoes.

"I couldn't hear everything that was being said, but you appeared to be very angry. What happened?"

Shepard let out a deep sigh and shook her head, as though trying to shake off the dark thoughts crowding her brain.

"It all started when we encountered the first group of Cerberus soldiers. Everything went so well up to that point. After all the time we'd spent apart and those ugly things he'd said on Horizon, it felt like we were finally on the same team again, you know?"

Liara gave an understanding nod and picked up one of the ration bars, abandoned on the commander's lap. She peeled back the silver foil and shoved the dehydrated, unappetizing stick of food into Shepard's hand. "Eat."

"Yes, ma'am." The smile curling up the corners of her lips was a little more genuine now. She dutifully took a few bites and washed them down with some water before she continued. "Unfortunately, I soon found out that the fact that I'd been right about the Collectors and the Reapers or that I'd surrendered myself to the Alliance willingly hadn't changed his mind about me at all. He's still convinced that I could be working with Cerberus."

"No, he can't... You must be wrong. He can't possibly think that."

Shepard let out a bitter snort. "Oh, yes, he can. He said so several times. First he asked me what Cerberus was doing on Mars. I told him I had no idea; I wasn't with them anymore. He made a snide remark about how convenient it all was, but I ignored him. I wasn't about to get into a petty argument—especially not when we had more Cerberus troops in our sights. I hoped that he was going to save it all for after the mission, or better yet, maybe, just maybe, he was actually going to trust me again once we'd defeated those assholes and accomplished our goal. Together."

She took a few deep breaths to prevent herself from throwing the bottle across the room, and eventually settled on running her fingers through her hair instead. "Boy, was I wrong. Once we'd disposed of all the enemy outside, then got in the building and onto the elevator, he marched up to me, shook an angry finger in my face, and demanded to know, _again_ , why they were there. He refused to believe, just because they'd rebuilt me and had given me a ship, that I'd only used their resources to defeat the Collectors."

Liara gave her friend a sympathetic look. It must have been incredibly hurtful to be questioned like that about your loyalties—especially by someone you used to care about.

"No wonder you were so upset."

"Yeah, I was getting a bit irritated, but actually, at this point I was still trying to stay calm. I told him that I had had no contact with Cerberus since my team and I had defeated the Collectors, and I didn't know why they were on Mars and what their plans were. James backed me up, and it seemed like Kaidan finally accepted that I was saying the truth, because he said he was sorry and that he trusted me."

"So, what was the problem then?"

"Well, that wasn't the end of it. Not by a long shot." Shepard seemed to get lost in thought for a moment as she stared at the floor underneath her feet. Liara cleared her throat and fidgeted on her chair until she raised her eyes to look at her. "Remember Kaidan's idea to use the short-range communication device built into the helmet of one of the dead Cerberus soldiers? Well, when we opened up the visor on one of those, we found that Cerberus had done something to the man inside. It seemed like they'd added some kind of Reaper technology. It wasn't a husk, but it was similar."

"Goddess! That's terrible."

"Yeah. It looked pretty gruesome. And guess what Kaidan said?"

"What?"

" _Is this what they did to you?_ "

Liara's eyes went wide. "I'm so sorry."

She started to reach for her friend's hand, but Shepard couldn't sit still anymore. She got up, tossed the empty wrappers and the water bottle into the trash, then walked over to the med bay window overlooking the mess hall. She grabbed its ledge for support and hung her head as her chest constricted with the memories of that awful conversation. That was the part that had upset her the most; the last straw before she'd lost her cool and started to yell.

"How can you compare me to him?" she'd demanded. "Do I look like that to you?"

Kaidan had turned his amber eyes, still full of mistrust, at her. "Shepard, I don't know what you are. Or who—not since Cerberus rebuilt you. For all I know, you could be a puppet, controlled by the Illusive Man himself."

She tried to say something, but he cut her off. "Don't try to explain it. I don't think I'd understand it anyway. I just want to know, is the person I followed to hell and back—the person that I loved—are you still in there... somewhere?"

Something snapped inside her then. All the frustration, all the anger that she'd tried to control until now burst through her carefully constructed barriers and she let loose the barrage of words that had been stuck in her throat ever since their disastrous encounter on Horizon.

"Oh, for fuck's sake, get over your self-righteous self, Kaidan! You followed me to hell and back? Sure, as long as it didn't endanger your Alliance career too much and it coincided with your narrow little view of the world. But where were you when I needed you? I told you what was happening to the colonists; I told you about the Collectors working with the Reapers. Did you listen? Did you follow me? The hell you did! You turned your back on me and walked away."

He tried to interrupt, but it was _her_ turn to ignore his attempt now. "And as for who—or what—I am, have you even tried to find that out for yourself? Did you see all the data that I was sending to the Alliance while I was with Cerberus? Did you read my reports about the Collectors' base and the Reapers? Did you ever visit me while I was in fucking lockdown because I had done a favor for Hackett and prevented the Reapers from coming through the Alpha Relay in the process? No, you didn't. It's easier to sit back and judge from your high horse than to actually make the effort to learn all the facts firsthand."

Kaidan's face turned pale and he rubbed his forehead with his right hand. This time Shepard couldn't give a damn if he was getting a migraine or not. She was on a roll, and there was nothing, short of a battalion of Cerberus soldiers or the Reapers themselves coming through the doors, to prevent her from finishing the tirade she'd been holding back for so long.

"Everybody else knows who I am, Kaidan. Anderson, Hackett, Garrus, Wrex, Tali—they all trust me and believe in me. Even the Council upheld my Spectre status. You of all people should have known in your heart that I'm the same person I was before I died. If you had joined me, or at least had had an open mind and actually talked _to_ me instead of _at_ me, you could have seen it, too."

She took the communicator and walked over to the railing, but before making the call to the Cerberus troops at the other end, she turned back to Kaidan. Her voice had lost the blazing heat that had burned through every word before and turned to ice now as she hissed through clenched teeth, "Look, you don't trust Cerberus—fine. I don't trust them either. But I have bigger, much more important issues to worry about than your paranoia. If you can't trust me, we can't work together. I won't jeopardize my mission by being questioned like this every step of the way. So make up your mind if you want to follow me or not. If you can't put aside your mistrust, I can drop you off at the Citadel. But right now we have a mission to complete."

And that was it. She'd made that call and they'd fought through several more enemy groups before they'd finally arrived at the Archives. Afterwards everything had happened so quickly, and now here he was, injured and barely breathing, and she couldn't stand the thought that that conversation at the tram station might have been the last thing they'd ever said to each other. Even though what they'd had once was gone and her affections lay elsewhere now, she still considered him her friend and she'd always imagined that they'd eventually patch things up enough to be able to work together again. Now... she wasn't sure if they'd ever get that chance.

She pressed the backs of her fists into her eyes to prevent the tears from erupting and asked without turning around, "Will he be all right? When he said all those things I was ready to strangle him, but now... I'm afraid we might lose him, Liara."

The asari got up and walked over to the window. She stopped by Shepard's side and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure he'll be fine. Some of the best medical minds work on the Citadel, and we're almost there. He's tough; he's going to make it."

"Yeah," Shepard squeezed her friend's hand and gave her a small smile. "He's too stubborn to die, right?"

"That's right. Though," Liara continued, casting a pointed look at the commander, " _some_ people are even more stubborn than he is."

Shepard seemed to accept her assessment with a sad little nod. "Yeah, I know. Garrus can be pretty pigheaded, too." Her lips pulled into a mischievous grin and she gave a wink when Liara shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"True. But not what I meant."

"Well, you can't possibly be talking about me. I'm not stubborn; I'm merely persistent. Big difference."

"Riiight."

They shared a chuckle and stood in silence for a while until Shepard asked, trying to sound as casual as she could, "Speaking of Garrus, do you have any information about him?"

"Last I heard he was on Palaven, but we haven't talked in a while."

The commander nodded in acknowledgement and turned her attention back to Kaidan's bed. "Joker," she called out, "how much longer?"

His voice came crackling on the comm system, this time without any smartass comments. "We're almost there. ETA five minutes."

 

* * *

 

With all the refugee ships lining up for admittance, it took a little longer for the _Normandy_ to dock than usual, but when they finally made it, Kaidan was rushed to Huerta Memorial and Shepard was directed to Udina's office for her talk with the Council.

The place looked much more crowded now, and there was a quiet desperation in the air, but the Citadel was still a peaceful haven from all the devastation that the Reapers had brought upon the galaxy. The news broadcasts continuously looping on the monitors that were scattered throughout the station made it clear that Earth was not the only planet under attack.

The one piece of news, however, that caused the commander to stop dead in her tracks and made her heart drop down into her stomach was the one about Palaven. She stared at the man on the screen, listening numbly to his account of the planet's bombardment, but after a while the only thing she could hear was her own mind screaming.

_Garrus._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to KabiViolet for beta reading!
> 
> We're almost there! Just one more chapter (I think) and we can wrap up this story. Thank you to all of you who have stuck around and I hope to see you next time. :)


	27. I Was Lost Without You

Hearing about the Reaper attack on Palaven had been agonizing enough. Seeing it on Menae with her own eyes as she glanced up at the planet above, the cheery lights of its cities replaced by the raging fires consuming them, nearly broke her heart in half.

She tried to convince herself that if there was anybody to survive such devastation and pick up a gun to fight, it was Garrus, but she'd seen what a concentrated attack from a group of Reapers could do. The odds were not good.

There were other pressing issues at the moment, however, so she forced herself to put aside those dark thoughts for now and concentrate on the task they were here to accomplish. They were going to fetch the primarch for the war summit the turian councilor had told her about, and whether Fedorian was dead or not, she was _not_ going to leave until they found somebody—anybody—who could fill that role.

She was discussing the matter with General Corinthus, impatiently listening to his explanation about all the obstacles littering the road to her goal, when a tall turian in blue armor walked onto the platform they were standing on and announced in that sweet, sweet voice that she'd feared she might never hear again: "I'm on it, Shepard. We'll find you the Primarch."

It was a damn good thing that her feet froze to the ground and her limbs were unable to move for a second; otherwise, she might have disregarded all protocol and flown into his arms to cover his mandibles with a thousand hot kisses. However, this was neither the time nor the place for such displays of affection, so once she collected herself, she merely took a step forward and extended her hand in greeting. She didn't hold back the huge smile, however, that lit up her face.

"Garrus! You're alive!"

He enveloped her outstretched hand in both of his own, spreading warmth across her skin even through her gloves, and for that brief moment everything was all right with the universe.

"I'm glad to see that so are you," his rich voice rumbled.

Had she harbored any doubt if he could still have the same effect on her after all this time, it would have completely evaporated now: her heart thudded loudly in her chest and she couldn't stop the blush creeping up her neck at the memories that the reverberations of his subharmonics awakened in her soul.

She quickly threw a surreptitious glance at his body to check for any signs of injuries. Much to her relief, he seemed to be doing just fine. A little thinner in the cheeks, perhaps, but he'd lost the bandage that used to cover the right side of his face, and he had new armor, which, she noticed, fitted him quite nicely.

"Good to see you again," she said. "I thought you'd be on Palaven."

"If we lose this moon, we lose Palaven," he replied, gesturing at the desolate landscape around them. "I'm the closest damn thing we have to an expert on Reaper forces, so I'm... advising."

She watched proudly as the general saluted him with respect, and her chest filled with the cozy comfort of familiarity when they joined forces once again to fight the enemy.

 

* * *

 

After an hour or so of slogging through hordes of husks and a few new forms of abominations the Reapers, ever so inventive, had seemed to cook up since they'd started their attack, they finally succeeded in finding themselves a new primarch. It took some convincing to get Victus to leave his men, but he eventually relented, and soon they were all back on the _Normandy_ , with the primarch in the war room and Garrus tucked away safely in the main battery.

She looked forward to seeing him in private once he'd settled in, but there were so many reports to deliver and issues to handle after they'd gotten back on the ship that it took her quite a while before she could make her way to his old hideout.

He was talking to Victus on the intercom when she entered the room. She stopped a few feet away from his position and leaned against the wall as she listened—not so much to the words, though she had to admit that she found his confidence and skill at his new role quite alluring, but rather to the smooth velvet of his voice. God, it was good to hear it again.

There were so many things she wanted to talk about, but when he stopped his conversation short and turned around to face her, all she could do was stare at him and grin like a lunatic.

He dipped his head in greeting, his beautiful blue eyes never leaving her own, and uttered her name in that deep rumble that, without fail, set her veins on fire.

"Shepard."

The delicious heat spreading from her lower belly to all parts of her anatomy almost made it impossible to think, let alone form a coherent sentence, but she finally managed to pull herself together. She pushed away from the wall and took a step forward. "Hey. It's good to have you on board again, Garrus."

He gave her a nod of appreciation, but didn't move from his spot. "Damn good to be back."

His tone was as warm as ever, but there was something in the nervous flickering of his mandibles and the stiffness of his shoulders as he stood there, straight as a rod, that made her stomach tighten with unease.

The smile faded from her lips as a quiet dread began to settle in her bones. Maybe her excitement about their reunion was entirely one-sided. Maybe it was foolish of her, after six months of separation, to expect everything to be the same between them. He'd spent all this time among his own people, after all; there must have been plenty of opportunities for him to find someone else—someone closer to home.

She swallowed her disappointment and was about to say something innocuous then turn on her heels and flee the battery when Garrus shifted his eyes away from her and mumbled, "I'm sorry about Kaidan."

Her eyebrows furrowed into a confused frown; it took her a second to realize what he was talking about. "Oh. How did you—"

"Liara told me." He glanced back at her, looking for her reaction. Whether he liked what he saw or not, he continued, "I hope he'll be all right."

"Yeah. So do I. That Cerberus bitch did quite a number on him. The doctors tell me they're trying their best, but I don't know... He was still in a coma when we left the Citadel." She unclenched her hands that she'd unconsciously curled into angry fists and raked her fingers through her hair with a sigh. "I hope to hell it won't be long before he turns a corner and comes out of it. We need him back on the team, and soon."

"We, or _you?"_ He winced as the words came out of his mouth; he hadn't really meant to sound so harsh.

Her eyes widened into big, incredulous saucers and her jaw dropped as she stared at him. "What?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean... It's just that..." He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck and shuffled his feet as he glanced around the room. "Look, Shepard, I know I have no right to question you about this. He probably visited you on Earth and you two, ah, you know... made up. I can't say that I didn't expect it to happen. I mean, I hoped it wouldn't, but I know that you, uh, love him, not to mention that he's closer to home, since, you know, he's human, and you have a history together, and—" Even over his own awkward rambling and his blood hammering thunderously in his ear canal, he picked up a strange noise coming from her direction and he stopped his fidgeting to look at her. "What's so funny?"

She let loose the relieved laughter that had been desperately trying to escape her throat and took the two steps needed to close the gap between them. Throwing her arms around his cowl, she stood on her tiptoes and planted a happy kiss on his mouth.

"So, that's what's been bothering you? Garrus, I've been worried sick about the same thing—I thought you'd found somebody else on Palaven. 'Somebody closer to home.' I almost bolted, thinking that you didn't want me anymore."

His posture slowly eased into a more relaxed stance and his arms snaked around her waist to pull her closer. She could feel his hot breath on her hair as he released the tension of his mandibles and let out a pleased sigh. "And Kaidan?"

"He's not the one I love, Garrus. Not anymore." She looked up into his eyes and smiled when she saw a glimmer of hope and understanding light up in there. "And you guessed wrong. He never came to visit me, and we didn't make up. In fact, while we were on Mars, he kept badgering me about my loyalties. He seemed to think I was a Cerberus agent. Or a clone. Or a robot. Or something."

His grip tightened on her waist and his brow plates pulled into an angry frown. "Good thing I wasn't there then or I would've ripped his head off. He'd hurt you enough as it is."

"Don't worry, I already gave him a piece of my mind." She smiled, but when she thought of Kaidan lying on that hospital bed, her tone grew more serious. "I think that with time he might come around. But even if he won't, we need him to get better. We need good soldiers like him, whether on our team or somewhere else. But," she added, giving Garrus a meaningful look, "he's not the one I want. It's you."

She reached up to cup the undamaged side of his face and brushed her thumb along the blue marking under his eye. Her touch was feather light, but it still left a trail of white-hot sparks across his plates as her fingers painted a path down his cheeks and mandibles, then wandered on to the sensitive skin on the back of his neck. He bent down and pressed his mouth against her soft lips and let out a needy moan when her tongue sneaked out to slide against his own. They deepened the kiss and held each other tight, her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands splayed possessively on the small of her back.

This felt right; it was like coming home after a long, arduous journey to melt into his embrace like this again. She began to feel that sweet, familiar sensation of desire spreading out in warm waves throughout her body, and, if the way he gripped her hips and pulled them as close as he could was anything to go by, he was probably starting to feel a bit uncomfortable in the confinement of his armor as well.

The battery, however, wasn't really the place where she'd planned to have their more intimate reunion. Besides, her day, unfortunately, wasn't quite over yet: she still had to make a couple of vid calls and go through a few mission objectives. As difficult as it was to stop herself right now, she willed her heart to resume its usual rhythm and her breathing to calm down, and slowly extricated herself from his hold.

She chuckled when he let out a disappointed groan, and patted his cheek with a gentle hand. "So, advisor, huh?"

His mandibles flared in an embarrassed grin and he shook his head. "It's not as impressive as it sounds."

"It's impressive enough to have generals salute you."

"Sure, they're saluting me _now,_ but... let's just say that your childhood monsters coming out of the dark reaches of hell and laying waste to your planet has a way of changing people's minds about the validity of your rantings."

She let out a sarcastic snort. "Yeah. Don't I know it."

He searched her face for a moment before he asked the question that he'd wondered about so many times during those lonely nights. "How did they treat you?"

Her eyebrows shut up as she considered him. "You mean the Alliance?"

"Yeah. After the... arrest."

He seemed pained, just mentioning her incarceration, and her chest swelled up at the thought that he cared so much about her well-being. Nobody else had ever asked her that question; everybody seemed to take it for granted that the hero of the galaxy had no feelings or needs or desires, and she couldn't be hurt or lonely or just plain unhappy.

She had to swallow past the lump in her throat and take a deep breath before she could answer. "Other than the brass not really believing me, they were fine. Got my own room and bath. I wished I could have communicated with the outside world, though."

Garrus gave her a knowing nod. "I wrote you several messages, but none of them seemed to get through. Not knowing anything about how you were doing drove me crazy." That was an understatement if there ever was one; he could barely contain his seething anger at those memories and he still hadn't forgiven Hackett for getting her in that whole mess to begin with. "The only information I had was the little tidbits I gathered from the news. I... missed you."

She made no attempt to hold back the huge grin spreading across her face at his words. "I missed you, too. A lot."

He let out that soft purring sound that she loved so much, and she gave a small peck on a mandible before she raised her arm and brought up her omni-tool's interface.

"I tried to message you, too, but they blocked all communications. Here, I'm sending you all the letters I wrote while I was in lockdown. You can read them now, if you want, but I'd like you to come up for a more... thorough reunion in about an hour."

She winked at him, then turned around and started to walk away.

"I'll be there. And Jane," he called after her, "I'm forwarding my messages to you, too."

She smiled in acknowledgement and strolled through the door just as her omni-tool pinged with the notification about the incoming mail.

 

* * *

 

Her chores were done sooner than she'd expected and once she'd changed into her civvies, she spent the next twenty minutes curled up on the couch in her quarters, reading Garrus's letters.

His words mirrored almost perfectly the intense frustrations, hopes, and desires that she'd poured into her own messages during those maddening days of her incarceration. He'd talked about his useless meeting with Sparatus, his discussions with his father and their dogged pursuit of their cause until the Primarch had finally given him a token task force to prepare for the invasion. He was enraged about the news calling her a terrorist and a "disgraced Commander Shepard", and obsessed about trying to find any real information about what was happening to her.

He didn't talk openly about their sexual relationship, most likely out of fear of getting her in some kind of trouble should his messages get intercepted by Alliance Intel—or worse, a reporter or anybody else who could harm her reputation with that kind of a juicy info—but he dropped enough hints for her to understand the hidden meaning behind his words: he thought about her all the time, and couldn't wait to hold her in his arms again.

Her muscles tightened in her lower belly when she thought about that prospect herself, and was about to call him on his personal comm and tell him to hurry up when her doors slid open and he marched in.

She stood up and met him at the bottom of the stairs, and he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her into a tight hug without a word. They stood in a silent embrace until he finally found his voice and rasped out, "Thank you."

She lifted her head to look up into his eyes. "For what?"

"Those messages." He ran a gentle talon down her cheek and along her jaw line. "I missed you, too."

She shivered at his touch, but managed to give him a cocky smile. "Yeah. I know."

"It's worth repeating," he drawled.

She laughed and kissed his mouth. She wasn't sure how exactly it happened, but the next moment she found herself pressed up against the glass wall of the fish tank while his tongue slid against her own and his hands roamed over the familiar curves of her body.

Her stomach trembled with desire and her knees all but buckled with anticipation, and she launched a desperate search for the hidden catches of his new armor to divest him of all that bulky metal. He joined her efforts to remove the pieces one by one and helped her, with shaky hands, to get out of her clothes as well. When her fingers trailed a path down his carapace and slid under the top of his pants, however, he grabbed her wrists to stop any further advancement of her hands.

He was more than ready for her, but this wasn't how he'd planned this. He'd already made a mistake by forgetting to bring up with him the high-quality chivalry-neutral wine he'd purchased back on the Citadel; he wasn't going to mess things up even more by taking her against the wall like an inexperienced teenager who couldn't control himself.

"Maybe we should move this onto the bed," he huffed out.

"No. Not yet," she said, her voice just as breathy as his. The bed could wait; there was something else she wanted to try first—something she could only fantasize about during their long separation. "I want you here," she nipped at the skin on his throat and chuckled when he answered her action with a low growl, "now." She stretched herself up onto her tippy toes and whispered in his ear canal, as if she was afraid that somebody could overhear their private conversation, " _Chapter Ten: Up Against the Wall_."

His mind was too hazy to immediately understand what she was talking about. He was about to ask for some clarification, but then her lips assaulted his mouth and he lost all coherent thought for a while, and before he knew it, his knuckle was already dipping into her heat and his tongue was swirling around that hard, pink nub on her chest. The feel of her soft skin under the pads of his fingers and the flat of his tongue was as exquisite as he remembered, and the way she dug her blunt little nails into the thinner skin of his waist underneath his shirt and moaned his name in rhythm with his motions left no doubt in his mind that she enjoyed his ministrations as much as he did.

He suddenly remembered her letters and lifted his head to look into her hooded eyes. "The book, right? This was in that book?"

She threw her head back, instantly drawing his attention to the graceful column of her neck, and let out a throaty laugh. "Yes."

"Mmm." He dragged a hot path with the tip of his tongue from her collarbone all the way up to that sensitive spot behind her earlobe, and grinned with satisfaction when she shivered in response. "So, what happens next?"

He could hear her swallow hard before she answered. "This."

Her hands moved to the waistband of his pants again. She hesitated for a second, but when he didn't stop her, she pushed the fabric down, freeing his arousal, and hitched a leg up over his hip spur. He ignored his racing heart, told himself to breathe, and locked eyes with her as he slowly slid into her moist heat. They let out a raspy groan in unison; it felt beyond wonderful to join again like this after all those months of loneliness and yearning, and they took a moment to enjoy the sensation.

He eased out and pushed back in gently. She moaned his name as he repeated the motion, going a little further and harder each time. It took no small amount of his sanity to try to restrain the built-up tension coiling in the pit of his stomach, but lost the battle when she gasped out, "Faster, Garrus." He cupped her bottom with one hand to lift her a little higher and hooked her other leg over his waist, and she held onto his cowl tightly as he thrust his hips into her, over and over, just as she desired.

The world and all its troubles fell away as they moved together in a steady rhythm, their limbs intertwined in a dance of passion, and, as strung up as she was, it didn't take long before a powerful shudder ran through her whole body and she came with a cry.

He kept rocking into her throughout her aftershocks and followed her soon after with a string of loud grunts of his own. He held up her limp, sated form until he was fairly certain that she got enough muscle power back to stand on her own, and deposited her gently on the floor.

"I love you, Garrus," she breathed out, without thinking, when she could talk again.

He stiffened for a moment, and she thought that maybe she'd made a mistake by taking their relationship into such dangerous waters. She bit into her lower lip and did her best to avoid his eyes, but he lifted her chin up with a finger and pressed a kiss onto her mouth.

"I love you, too, Jane. I've loved you for a long time."

She wound her arms around his waist and buried her face into his neck with a happy sigh. He ran a hand over her hair and they stood in silence, holding onto each other, until his gaze fell on the empty aquarium and he blurted out, "What happened to all the fish?"

"No idea. I hope somebody gave them a good home. I'd hate to think they starved to death after all the trouble I went through to keep them alive."

He looked around the room to take stock of all the changes, and for the first time since he'd walked in, he noticed the tarp over several parts of the wall.

"And what happened to your room?"

She shrugged. "Retrofits. I hope you don't mind that it doesn't look like a luxury cabin on a cruise ship now," she added, glancing at him expectantly, "because I'd like you to move in." Her eyelashes fluttered and she swallowed as her cheeks turned a darker shade of pink. "That is... if you want that, too."

His mandibles flared out in a grin and he brushed his forehead against hers. "I would live with you anywhere, Jane. Besides, no more sneaking out in the middle of the night? I think I can handle that."

"Good. You can bring up your stuff tomorrow. But now," she continued with a wink, "it's time to clean up and reenact _Chapter Twelve: In the Shower_."

She helped him get out of the rest of his clothes and grabbed his hand to drag him behind her as she headed up the stairs.

"I haven't even read that book, but I think it's my favorite piece of literature now," he drawled as he followed her to the bathroom. _Their_ bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A great big thanks to KabiViolet for beta reading!
> 
> Looks like there will be at least one more chapter, since several reviewers over at ff.net commented that they'd like to read about the talk between Shepard and Kaidan about Garrus, and I realized that they were totally right: we can't finish this story without "The Talk"! So that's coming up in the next chapter. 
> 
> The title of this chapter comes from one of my favorite songs on the ME3 soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCwgu5W0ZaU


	28. Dreams

Garrus moved into Shepard's quarters the next morning. She'd made some room for him in her closet and lined up her own toiletry on one side of the sink in the bathroom, and he took over whatever space was left for him with the few belongings he'd managed to grab from his locker when his troop had been ordered to leave Palaven and withdraw to Menae.

His bulky armor was the hardest thing to accommodate, but it usually ended up haphazardly tossed into a dark corner at the end of a long day anyway—along with her clothes and his undersuit—just before they fell into bed (or onto the couch, the desk in the office, or against the cool wall of the shower) and made up for those awful six months when all they'd been able to do was dream about each other. It was nice, cuddling under the blanket afterwards and talking about whatever came to mind before they fell asleep side by side, then waking up in each other's arms again in the morning.

If anybody noticed the change in their sleeping arrangements, they didn't say anything. Those who'd known them for a long time might have caught the light in their eyes and the spring in their steps when they both came down late for breakfast, but the new members of the team seemed oblivious to the fact that the commander was sharing her bed with a turian now.

Not that they would have cared much anyway—after all, most people on the skeleton crew had more things to worry about than the personal life of their CO. Besides, if push came to shove, they all would wholeheartedly agree that if there was anybody in this galaxy who deserved to be left alone and do whatever the hell she pleased in her free time, it was Commander Shepard.

Nevertheless, they did their best not to flaunt the true nature of their relationship in public. Garrus and Shepard did their jobs as usual and were nothing less than professional during the missions they went on together, and when back on board, Garrus stayed locked up in the main battery, tinkering with the weapons systems for hours on end, while Shepard dealt with the never-ending demands of the war.

They didn't talk any more about Kaidan until she received a message from him, telling her that he was awake and conscious and feeling much better.

"Seems like Kaidan's out of the woods," Shepard said in lieu of a greeting when Garrus walked through the door that night and bent down to press his mouth against the top of her head.

He stilled for a moment before he straightened back up and cleared his throat. "That's, uh, good."

She swirled around in her chair and looked up at him. "He wants me to visit him. We're going to have to pick up some supplies and a few new people on the Citadel in a couple of days anyway; maybe we could swing by the hospital then."

" _We_?"

"Sure, why not? I thought you might want to see him, too."

"Not particularly, no."

She chuckled and stood up to plant a small kiss on the unscarred side of his face. "Fine, you don't have to come if you don't want to." She took his hands in hers and smiled up at him. "But maybe we could do something fun afterwards. Just the two of us."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. "I can think of a few fun things to do."

"As tempting as that is," she shook her head with a grin, "I meant something on the Citadel. You've been telling me of all those places you wanted to show me one day; well, this might be the perfect opportunity."

He didn't have to say anything; it was enough to look into his eyes to know that he bit back the same thought she'd tried to chase away: it might be the _last_ opportunity before things went to hell.

"All right." He nodded and ran a careful talon along her scalp, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face. He paused for a second, enjoying the silky feel of the strands underneath the pads of his fingers, before he drew back and looked at her with feigned seriousness and pretended to search his memory for the most exquisite place he could take her to. "Let's see... You want to check out the seediest bar on my old route, right?"

"Not really," she laughed, "though, if they have good ryncol, then why the hell not?"

"I'll see what I can do," he rumbled, putting an extra effort into the deep vibrations of his subharmonics, and grinned happily when she shivered and bit into her lower lip in response. He knew very well what his voice did to her—not that she complained; especially not when he followed up that satisfying purr by sliding his warm hands underneath her shirt as he bent down to nip at her jaw. "But right now, we could have some fun right here," he drawled.

The corners of her lips curled up into a grin and she gripped his hands to lead him down the stairs towards the bed. "That works, too."

 

* * *

 

They arrived at the Citadel two days later and she spent the better part of the morning staring down bureaucrats (or yelling at them—depending on what worked best) to make sure that they got the supplies she'd requested and that they were actually delivered into the cargo hold of the _Normandy._ The few specialists Hackett had promised to add to her team boarded without any trouble at least, and she took the time to welcome each of them personally before she declared a 24 hour shore leave and finally headed over to Huerta Hospital.

Garrus had already hurried off somewhere to deal with the needs of a group of turian refugees and to make preparations for their date later in the day—the nature of which she knew absolutely nothing about; all her attempts at coaxing, bribing, and cajoling the information out of him had fallen on deaf ears.

She couldn't even remember the last time she'd been this excited about an impending event; even if they did end up in that seedy bar that he'd joked about, she was sure that it was going to be the best night of her life. Just spending a couple of hours with him without being shot at or getting dragged away to a meeting seemed like absolute heaven right now.

The hospital was even busier than the last time she'd been there, but she managed to bump into Kaidan's doctor before she reached the door to his room.

"Ah, Commander Shepard." The salarian waved away his assistant and nudged his head towards a relatively quiet corner of the lobby. "I heard you were back on the station."

Shepard followed him dutifully and listened to his long-winded explanation about the nature of Kaidan's injuries, but all her brain was able to pick out from the barrage of medical terms was that something bad had happened to his L2 implant and he almost died, but was doing much better now.

She thanked Dr. Ensol when he finally stopped his extensive diagnosis with a nod and a cheerful "We'll keep him under observation for a couple more days," and took the opportunity to continue on to Kaidan's room when the assistant came back and dragged the doctor away.

The last person she'd expected to find when she walked through the door was Udina. He was just leaving, which was more than fine by her, and he gave her a curt _'Shepard'_ as he exited the room. She reciprocated his strained greeting in a similar manner, and once he was gone, she pulled up a chair and settled down by Kaidan's side.

"Hey. How are you doing?"

"Much better, thanks." His eyes were sunk in and his skin was still bruised, but his smile was as warm as it used to be—once upon a time, a long while ago. "I'm glad you came."

She nodded in acknowledgement and tilted her head towards the door. "What did Udina want?"

Kaidan raised his upper body onto an elbow and rubbed the back of his neck with his other hand. "He wants me to become the second human Spectre." He sounded unsure.

"And? You're going to do it, right?"

"I don't know. I'll have to think about it. I have some big shoes to fill." He smiled at her, and she gave him a smirk in return.

"You can do it—Major." He laughed, and she started to relax a little. It was nice to be able to talk like old friends again. Maybe this was going to work; maybe they could get over all those hurtful things of the past and fight side by side again. She leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees and resting her chin on her folded hands. "I've talked to Dr. Ensol. Sounds like they're going to let you out soon."

"Yeah. My implant got rattled—don't ask me about the medical gibberish, I don't understand half of it myself—but it's better now. My biotics seem to be even stronger than before, actually."

"Rattled, huh? That's about as much as I could decipher from the doc's explanation myself."

Kaidan chuckled and lay back on his pillow with a sigh. "I can't wait to get out of here."

"I could break you out if you get desperate," Shepard grinned. "Though your doc might not appreciate it."

"Heh, I'm sure he wouldn't." He looked at her thoughtfully and fidgeted in his bed for a while before he approached the subject he'd been thinking about ever since he'd awoken in this place. "Shepard, I'm... sorry."

"About what?"

"Horizon, Mars—everything." He searched her face for a reaction, but all he got was a small nod and a pair of green, inscrutable eyes boring into his soul. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and fisted the sheet at his waist into tight balls without realizing what he was doing. "I was... unfair. I took my anger and hurt out on you and I shut you down. I just couldn't deal with losing you then seeing you on Horizon after two years of mourning, you know? In a Cerberus uniform, no less."

He sighed and raked his fingers through his dark hair. "Look, I know now that I was wrong about you. I was right about Cerberus, but I was wrong about you."

A moment of uncomfortable silence fell on the room before she finally said something. "Okay."

It wasn't exactly what he'd hoped for, but it was better than "Go to hell", so he took a deep breath and continued. "So... can we put the past behind us and go on from here? I'd very much like to join you on the _Normandy_ again. When I finally get out of here, that is."

He gave her an awkward smile. His heart flipped in his chest and filled with hope when she smiled back at him and said, "I'd like that, too."

"I... still care about you. More than you'll ever know." His words spilled from his lips in a choked murmur, and he lifted up a timid arm to reach for her hand. His blood froze in his veins when she pulled away.

"Kaidan, I..." She bit into her lower lip and took a deep breath. When she'd come in here, she'd expected either another fight with him or some strained conversation about his recovery and the war. This—she had not expected this. "I'm glad you're doing better and we've cleared the air, and I'd be happy to have you back on board. But what we had... is gone. I have somebody else now."

Underneath all the black and blue bruises and scorch marks on his face, his skin paled to a ghostly white as he stared at her with hurt in his eyes. "Somebody I know?" he finally rasped.

"It's Garrus."

"Garrus?" The way he growled out his name, it sounded more like a statement than a question. His forehead creased into an angry frown and his lips pressed together into a thin line. He should have known that it was him. He could still remember the irritation he used to feel back on the SR-1, every time he caught Garrus watching Shepard with that stupid, hopeless longing in his eyes. That two-timing son of a bitch, he wanted to say, but he swallowed his words when she started to speak, her voice rising in annoyance at the hint of reproach in his tone.

"Yes, Garrus. Supportive, loyal, nonjudgmental Garrus. My best friend, my pillar of strength, the one person that I can count on to watch my back, no matter what. The person that would follow me anywhere, no questions asked—"

"And the person who finally made his move as soon as I was out of the picture," he spat.

Her eyes opened wide. "What?"

"Come on, Shepard, don't tell me you didn't notice how he looked at you whenever you were in the room. He'd been carrying a torch for you almost from the moment he set foot on the _Normandy_ _._ "

He waited for her to say something, but she merely gaped at him in slack-jawed surprise. Apparently she'd had no idea. Her cluelessness about the turian's long-lasting affections should have been mildly gratifying, but under the circumstances he found little comfort in the thought that she'd been so blind to Vakarian's charms. He wondered when things had changed and couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice when he grumbled, "How long did he wait before he took his chance? Were you two together already when we met on Horizon?"

Her mouth snapped shut and she glared at him for a second before she answered. "Paranoia is a way of life for you, isn't it?" She shook her head with a sigh. She'd been trying to stay calm, but he sure didn't make it easy. "No, there was nothing between us at that time. I was so happy to see you, Kaidan. The Illusive Man had told me that you might be there, and the whole time we were going through the colony I kept hoping against all hope that we weren't too late and the Collectors hadn't taken you. And then there you were, not willing to listen, and you walked away from me. You stabbed me in the heart then kicked me in the gut with that letter when you questioned my integrity once again and told me you'd moved on."

He tried to say something, but she went on. "It was _me_ who went to Garrus after that. Not the other way around. He'd been a perfect gentleman. I was hurt and angry and needed a shoulder to cry on; I needed somebody to hold me and make me feel like I wasn't a worthless piece of trash."

Kaidan winced as her words sank in. He'd been so wrapped up in his own volatile emotions back then that he'd never considered the effect his outburst could have on her. The thought that he'd caused her pain was almost more than he could bear. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Whether she heard him or not, her gaze drifted off into the distance and her voice grew soft when she continued. "He was always there for me and never asked anything in return. I can't even imagine a day without him anymore." Her eyes slid back onto him and she gave him a small smile. "In a way, I have _you_ to thank for that. So it's okay. Really."

He stared at her in stunned silence, trying to put together an intelligent reply, but his brain was too dazed to cooperate. This was not how things were supposed to be; she was supposed to forgive him and they were supposed to forget about the past and move on. Together. This—he didn't know how to deal with this.

Before he could collect himself and say something, the tense quiet of the room was interrupted by the ping of an incoming message on her omni-tool. "Excuse me," she muttered as she lifted her left arm and brought up the interface. The message was from Garrus, letting her know that he was done with whatever he'd been doing and asking her to meet him on the Presidium Commons.

 _'Be right there,'_ she typed, beaming at the prospect of seeing him soon, then she turned off the display and stood up. "Well, I have to go now. Take care, Kaidan. And get better soon."

Kaidan stared at the door long after she was gone and wondered what Dr. Ensol would think if, after all his efforts to bring him back from the clutches of death, his patient would end up dying of a broken heart in his hospital.

 

* * *

 

She found Garrus as soon as she stepped out of the elevator. He was leaning against the glass wall with his arms folded in front of his chest, one leg casually crossed in front of the other. He flashed her a wide grin and proudly held up two tickets to the best movie theater on the station.

"Blasto 6: Partners in Crime," he crooned.

Her eyes lit up and she nearly jumped into his arms in her excitement. "Really? I noticed the ads last time we were here. Never thought I'd be able to see it."

He gave her a satisfied smile and gestured towards the cab station behind them. "Shall we?"

They chose a vehicle and climbed in, and she put her head on his shoulder when they took off.

"So... how did it go with Kaidan?" he asked.

"Fine. They might release him from the hospital in a couple of days."

He nodded in acknowledgement, and she decided not to spoil the moment by talking about Kaidan any more.

The large projection room was almost completely full by the time they got there. They found two comfortable seats and settled down with their snacks and drinks, which Shepard had insisted on purchasing in the lobby in spite of Garrus's repeated warnings that they were going to be late for the show.

The lights dimmed soon after, and the movie started up with an exciting space chase, complete with rousing music and sound effects. Shepard took a sip of her drink and damn near snorted the liquid up her nose when Garrus leaned closer and whispered, "There's no sound in space."

She chuckled, and when one of the vehicles exploded into a red and orange ball of sparks and fire, she put her lips to his ear canal and murmured in her best Mordin voice, "Also, no oxygen—no flames."

He laughed, spilling some of his drink onto the floor, and raised a hand in apology when the hanar in front of him turned around to cast a reproachful look at the two of them.

They watched the movie quietly for a while, until the volus chief berated Blasto for having destroyed half a level on Zakera Ward and wheezed out something about the Council having given the vorcha "diplomatic immunity".

"Who wrote this stuff?" Garrus grumbled.

Shepard snickered. "A vorcha?" 

The hanar turned around again and said, his colors flashing in subtle waves and his voice echoing melodically in the spacious room, "This one requests that you stay quiet. This one would like to watch the movie in peace."

The batarian next to the giant jellyfish shook his head in exasperation and growled. "This one would like all of you to shut the hell up."

There were a few more hisses of "Shh!" around them, and then they all fell silent.

They watched the rest of the show without any further incidence.

 

* * *

 

Garrus took her to a nearby dock afterwards, and they boarded the small boat he had reserved the night before. He punched the coordinates into the automatic steering system and settled down next to her on the deck. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and she pressed into his side with a blissful sigh.

The artificial lighting had been switched to the night cycle by now, and the lights of the buildings dotting the shoreline reflected off the rippling water, giving the illusion of a million sparkling jewels bobbing up and down around their craft.

"It's beautiful," she said softly.

"Not as beautiful as you," he purred, and his chest rumbled happily when she turned her face up for a kiss.

"Thank you for this," she whispered when their lips parted. "This has been the best date I've ever had."

His mandibles flared in a pleased smile. "I'm glad. But it's not over yet."

"No?"

"The best is yet to come." He pointed at a shimmering spot ahead of them, and she followed his gaze to a graceful waterfall between two huge artificial boulders and a thick vegetation of bushes and ferns.

He fired up his omni-tool and tapped a few buttons. The curtain of the cascading water parted, creating an inviting entrance for their boat, and they slipped into a breathtakingly beautiful grotto, hidden right underneath those unimposing rocks on the outside.

He watched proudly as her eyes opened wide in child-like wonder and she looked around, taking in the scene unfolding in front of them. The water split into different directions from their entry point, each stream ending in a small bay and most of them already containing a water vessel of some kind; further ahead there was a small building delicately decorated with flowering vines and garlands of glimmering lights. The wall and the paths between the waterways were illuminated by the flickering flames of exotic-looking torches, and every available spot was covered with tropical plants of all kinds.

"Wow," she said when she found her voice again. "What is this place?"

"Welcome to 'The Enchanted Jungle' restaurant!" Avina's cheery voice chimed in as the VI's holographic form shimmered to life right next to their craft. Shepard nearly jumped out of her skin at the sudden intrusion, but managed to turn the undignified squeak escaping her throat into a grumbling cough before anybody, especially Garrus, could notice.

She took a deep breath while Avina directed their boat to bay Number 7, and Garrus steered their vessel to the designated spot, which was surrounded by large shrubs of mauve colored, hibiscus-looking flowers. There was a small clearing right next to the small dock, just big enough for a round table and a few circular seats around it.

As soon as they got out of the boat and settled down next to each other, an asari waitress appeared by their side and took their orders with a pleasant smile. She brought them some drinks, then she retreated to the building in the back while they waited for their dinners.

"I had no idea there were such places on the Citadel," Shepard said when they were alone again.

"Neither did I, until we had a murder case here a few years ago." Not that he condoned the ruthless killing of innocents, but that was one of his favorite investigations while he was in C-Sec. It was full of twists and turns, with intriguing clues that took him all over the station and beyond, and ended with a highly satisfying arrest of the leader of one of the most dangerous Citadel gangs of the time. As a side benefit, it also earned him a much-needed promotion.

Shepard raised an eyebrow and groused in mock indignation, "So... you've brought me to that seedy place you talked about?"

His head whipped at her in shock and he was about to protest when he noticed the smirk pulling at the corner of her lips. "Ha! Funny."

She laughed and took a sip of her drink. It was a fruity concoction with a generous amount of alcohol and one of those cute little umbrellas stuck into the sweet slosh that she never knew what to do with. She wondered if the waitress put this in every customer's glass or if she only tortured those crazy humans with it—it certainly didn't adorn Garrus's brandy. Either way, she decided to get the silly thing out of her way and drop it unceremoniously on the table.

"Actually," Garrus mused, sliding his gaze around, "it was a pretty classy place, even then. The murder happened in the back office; the owner got tangled up in some business with the wrong people. Long story. However," he went on, casting a sideways glance at her with a wide grin, "it did lead to a step up in the cases I was assigned to—one of which happened to be the investigation of Saren Arterius."

Shepard nodded at that. "And, as they say, the rest is history." She fumbled with the discarded umbrella on the table, twirling it around and around, before she looked at him and brought up something that had been stuck in her brain ever since she'd left the hospital. "Speaking of which, Kaidan said something... interesting today."

"Oh?" His mandibles pulled in tight as he peered down at her. Anything involving Kaidan could only be bad.

"He said that you, uh, had a crush on me ever since you came on board the first _Normandy_ _._ Is that true?"

She reached for his hand and squeezed it lightly when she saw the tension in his face plates. That was enough to make him relax and let out a deep sigh. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I... It was clear you loved him. I didn't want to interfere. Besides, I didn't think I had a chance."

She had to admit that he was right. Nobody, besides Kaidan, would have had a chance back then. She'd been a fool; a blind, misguided, clueless fool. "You know, I used to be mad at Kaidan for Horizon. But now, I'm actually thankful that he opened my eyes." She scooted closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm so glad I have you. I love you, Garrus."

He rested his chin on the top of her head and let out a happy rumble. "I love you, too. And I'm glad you like this jungle thing, because I uh, thought that we could, you know, settle down in a place like this after the war."

She looked up at him in feigned shock. "Really? You want to settle down in a restaurant?"

"No," he laughed, "on some nice, tropical planet. Just the two of us. And the kids."

"Kids?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't mind finding out what a turian-human baby would look like."

"I don't think biology would cooperate, Garrus. Besides, can you imagine us as parents?"

"Why not?" He shrugged. "I could teach them lots of things: how to shoot, how to take apart their weapons and clean them, then put them back together—"

"How to calibrate..." She chuckled when he pretended to snort indignantly. "You're not putting guns into my kids' hands, Garrus."

"Hmm. I thought we couldn't have any kids anyway. You know, that whole 'biology would not cooperate' stuff?"

"It's still nice to dream."

They fell silent at that. Indeed, who were they kidding? There was a war out there, more desperate than either of them had ever seen, and, despite all their best efforts, there was a mighty big chance that the outcome was going to be total annihilation of all intelligent life in the galaxy, instead of a comfortable and cozy retirement and the start of a family.

Still, the universe hadn't been entirely unkind; they _had_ survived two suicide missions before and they _did_ find each other, in spite of all the odds—maybe a little peace and happiness wasn't totally out of the question after all.

Their mood lifted when the waitress appeared with their food, and they ate contentedly until their stomachs felt like they were going to burst.

Afterwards, they retreated back to the _Normandy_ and finished this wonderful night in each other's arms.

If someone had asked each of them the next morning what they'd dreamt about, the answer would have been the same: "A place by the ocean and the pitter-patter of little feet running through the house."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to KabiViolet for beta reading! 
> 
> Since this chapter has gotten so long, the epilogue will be a separate chapter. 
> 
> Also, if you scroll up to the very beginning of the story, you can check out the awesome picture Tamy2323 from ff.net drew for Serendipity. :)


	29. Serendipity

The dream of settling down with Garrus somewhere warm and tropical had never seemed more out of reach than the day Shepard awoke in the hospital, wrapped in bandages from head to toe and surrounded by a plethora of medical equipment, and found out that he, along with the _Normandy_ and her crew, had been gone and missing for three months—ever since the Reapers had been destroyed.

She took the news without a word, the hard set of her jaws and the drooping line of her mouth the only visible sign of anguish on the small part of her face not covered by gauze and tape, and fell into a depressed silence that nobody, not even Miranda, who'd come to offer her expertise in rebuilding her body, could breach.

The analgesics steadily dripping into her vein eased some of the intense pain that every movement, every twitch of muscle brought in agonizing waves, but there was no medication for the kind of throbbing ache that gripped her heart at the thought that she might never see Garrus again.

Not like she hadn't been prepared for such an outcome when she'd made her run to the beam. After all, the odds that their goodbye on the ramp of the _Normandy's_ cargo hold was going to be their last were more than high. She'd just never really expected that it would be _her_ who would be left behind.

Miranda's account of their victory and the rebuilding efforts gave her some measure of satisfaction, but all she could manage in reply was a nod of her head before she turned back to staring at the wall in silence.

She wasn't a particularly difficult patient, but she certainly didn't make it easy for the hospital staff. She took a bite of her food if they nagged her long enough, and she never complained about the excruciating pain when they moved her limbs and changed her bandages. Most of the time, however, she withdrew into her shell and ignored those around her, preferring the solitude of her own thoughts and memories over the reality of this new life—a life she wasn't supposed to have. Not without Garrus.

Her mother, paler and thinner than she'd ever seen her, came for a visit as often as she could, and Admiral Hackett dropped by a couple of times to check on her progress and give her an update on the state of the repairs being done to Earth, the fleets, the lifeless remains of the geth, and the relays.

The one visitor, however, that finally shook her out of her gloomy mood, was Wrex.

He wasn't even supposed to be there; visitation rights were strictly limited to family members and a few select high-ranking officials, but he pushed past the wall of nurses attempting to thwart his invasion of the ward and ignored their loud protests as he charged into Shepard's room and lumbered up to her bed.

"Sheparrrd," he rumbled warmly, trying to focus his gaze on her sunken eyes and disregard the fragile, broken state of her body. He didn't like seeing her like this; he felt like he was trespassing on a private moment and witnessing something he wasn't supposed to. It was, without a doubt, difficult to reconcile the mighty warrior of the battlefield with the small human woman looking up at him with an unbearable sadness in her eyes.

"Wrex."

"How are you doing?"

"Been better." She gave him a weak smile and gestured at the chair by her bed. "Want to sit down?"

Wrex cocked a distrustful eye at the flimsy piece of furniture and shook his head. "I think I'll stand. This won't take long anyway. Just wanted to let you know that we've heard from that boyfriend of yours."

Shepard's eyes opened wide and her heart thudded loudly in her chest. "What?"

"I don't know what you did to destroy the damn Reapers, but whatever that energy wave was, it also fried the communication relays. We've been trying to establish a link to Tuchanka, but all we've been getting has been some static. Those useless engineers must have done something right last night, though, because we caught a partial message from Vakarian."

She had to swallow hard before she could say something, but even then all she could manage was a hoarse, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Sounded like the _Normandy_ had been damaged and they've been making repairs."

"And? Are they okay?"

"Don't know. Lost the signal after that."

He watched as her brows pulled into a frown and her eyes darted around the room. She was undoubtedly putting the snippets of information together in her mind, weighing the facts, considering the possibilities, and plotting a course of action. This was the Shepard he'd wanted to see: strong, decisive, cunning, a force of nature wrapped up in a small human shell.

He crossed his arms in front of his broad chest and peered down at her with a grin. "So... want me to bust you out of this place now?"

She looked up at him and let out a small laugh. "I don't think I'm quite ready yet to leave the hospital. But it's good to know that he— _they_ —are out there. Gives me a reason to get back on my feet. You know, so I can go and find them."

"All right. Hurry up and get better then, Shepard."

He turned around to leave, but before he could take a step, she grasped his hand to squeeze it as tightly as her weakened muscles allowed. "Thank you. I'm glad you told me. And Wrex," she added when he nodded and was about to walk away, "say hi to Grunt for me."

He gave her another nod and she watched him leave, and for the first time since she'd come out of her coma and opened her eyes all those weeks ago, she needed no nagging to eat her dinner that night.

She even surprised her nurse with a smile.

 

* * *

 

If she'd been passive and indifferent about her own recovery before, she was downright impatient and overzealous about it now. Her caregivers would have welcomed the change in her attitude had she not swung so wildly over to the other side this time: she used every waking minute, every moment of the day to relentlessly push the doctors and nurses, and especially herself, to accelerate her healing.

Things weren't that easy, however, as Miranda liked to point out. She still needed to go through a series of medical procedures to replace the cybernetics in her body that had been fried by the energy wave, and without those Cerberus-installed upgrades that had been damaged when she'd destroyed the Reapers, her healing process took much longer than she would have liked.

She'd just been through another round of surgeries and was recovering in her room when Miranda received news that the _Normandy_ had finally limped back to London and landed on a ruined airfield outside of town. She sent a message to Garrus, letting him know where to find them, and less than half an hour later he was there, rushing through the crowded corridors of the hospital, until he came to an abrupt halt by Shepard's bed.

Her cheeks were gaunt and her hair was barely an inch long after it had been shaved off for brain surgery, but as far as he was concerned, she was still the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Her eyes were closed; Miranda had warned him that she would still be asleep and suggested that he come by later, but he gave her advice no heed. He sat down on the chair by the bed, took Shepard's hand in his, and held it gently as he waited for her to awaken.

When the anesthetics finally wore off and she slowly came to, she found him dozing on the chair by her bed, his head hanging down and his mandibles fluttering softly in his sleep. It took her a few confused seconds and a concentrated effort of focusing her blurry vision on his figure to finally accept the fact that he was really there; he was _not_ a dream or a figment of her imagination, and this time he wasn't going to disappear and leave her alone and lonely in this world.

Her lips were dry and her chest felt heavy with emotion, but she managed to choke out his name.

"Garrus."

His head snapped up and his mandibles spread wide into a smile. "Hey," he purred. "How do you feel?"

"Much better—now that you're here." She cleared her throat and blinked away the tears that were clouding her vision once again. "I was afraid I'd lost you forever."

"Yeah. I had the same concern about you." His expression darkened at the memories of those desperate days when everybody on board had been trying to convince him that she was gone. He'd refused to believe them; refused to put her name up on the wall of the dead.

He lifted his hand now to gingerly run the back of a curved finger along her cheek and down her jaw. "I don't ever want to be without you again."

She flashed him a happy smile and he moved closer to press a careful kiss onto her lips, then he leaned back in the chair and told her everything that had happened since they'd last seen each other.

He talked until her eyelids became heavy and she fell asleep. He messaged Miranda then, and, upon his insistence, they set up a cot for him in Shepard's room. Steve brought in a few of his personal items from the ship and Garrus settled in, blatantly ignoring the heated glares and pointed remarks from the hospital staff. He wasn't going anywhere, no matter how much the nurses complained about his overprotective interference, and in a few days he became as much a fixture by her side as the medical equipment that monitored her life signs and administered her medications.

His presence turned out to be a blessing in disguise. As annoying as his single-minded insistence on getting her the best care was, it did have the desired result: her condition improved noticeably with him by her side, and in a few weeks she was well enough to be released from the hospital.

 

* * *

 

Her muscles were weak from her prolonged bed rest and she still needed months of physical therapy before she could really walk again, but for the moment she couldn't be bothered to care. All she wanted was to get in that sky car Garrus had rented and move into the small apartment that the Alliance had provided for her and Garrus on the outskirts of town.

Her spirits were high as he pushed her wheelchair over the threshold of what was going to be their first true home together. She couldn't wait to finally spend some private time with him, far away from prying eyes and inquisitive ears. It felt as though it had been a lifetime ago when they'd last had that opportunity.

Her hopes for a quiet evening evaporated, however, when the intercom buzzed no more than five minutes after they'd arrived, and Sam walked in with a pot of stew.

"Heard you were released today, Commander," she chirped happily as she carried the dish into the kitchen. "I figured you could use some real food instead of that hospital mush they've been feeding you. It's my grandmother's recipe—well, mainly. I couldn't get all the ingredients, so I had to improvise, but I'm sure you'll like it. Umm, I hope."

Shepard bit back her disappointment at the interruption of a perfectly good evening and gave the specialist a grateful smile. "Thank you, Sam. That's very kind of you. It smells delicious."

Before she could even ask the young woman if she wanted a drink, the intercom buzzed again and James and Steve strolled in, each carrying some food that they insisted was going to help her get better. They were closely followed by Tali, Kaidan, and Liara; they all brought something to help with her recovery, and in no time at all the place was full of chatter and laughter and unintentionally annoying advice.

Shepard sat by the window, soaking up the precious little sun that managed to poke through the dust swirling in the outside air as the bulldozers did their duty of clearing the rubble off the street, and watched as Tali and Sam argued about the best settings for the apartment's still functioning electrical systems and Kaidan attempted to teach a baffled and confused Garrus about the fine art of preparing levo meals for his ailing mate.

"She'll need some good, homemade meals while she's recovering, so you'd better learn how to do this," he declared with all the seriousness of a grand chef. Liara hovered nearby, nodding her head earnestly, and Garrus did his best to follow along as Kaidan explained all about the intricacies of human cooking.

He was finally saved by the security system's announcement that a new guest had arrived. When he went to open the door, Joker hobbled in with a box in his hands.

"Where's your girlfriend?" he asked.

Garrus nudged his head in the direction of the window. Joker walked over with a serious expression on his face and dropped the box on Shepard's lap.

"Hey. Thought you might like to have this."

She opened the package and pulled out her model of the _Normandy_. Her fingers danced along its smooth lines and she looked up at her pilot with a smile. "Thanks. Can't wait to get back to her once I can walk again."

His lips quirked up into a half smirk as he considered her legs. "I can lend you my old crutches if you want. We could have a race and see which one of us can limp faster."

She laughed and motioned at the armchair by her side, and he sat down with a groan. She didn't miss the dark circles under his eyes and the slightly unkempt state of his beard. He probably didn't sleep much nowadays.

Her smile faded and she touched his arm gently. "I'm sorry about EDI."

He pulled his cap lower over his eyes and stared at the floor under his feet. "Yeah. It sucks."

They sat in contemplative silence for a few seconds before he turned his attention back to her. "Tali's been trying to fix her. Says it's just a matter of time."

His eyes glinted with excitement and she reciprocated with a hopeful smile of her own. "Oh yeah? That's good to hear."

"Yep. I'll have her tell you all about it."

He got up and dragged Tali away from the drink she was sipping through a straw and pushed her down on the chair that he had just vacated. "Shepard wants you to explain to her everything you told me about how you plan on rebooting EDI and the geth. Don't leave anything out." He threw his commander a wink and a wicked grin, and he shuffled away, leaving Shepard alone with the young quarian.

Tali's eyes lit up with unbridled enthusiasm behind her mask. "Really? You want to hear everything?"

"Umm... sure." Shepard glared at Joker's retreating back, but it was too late. Tali leaned forward and began a long explanation about circuits and switches and code and memory banks. She talked about the differences between the original Reaper programming and all the changes and improvements the quarians and, to a lesser degree, Cerberus had done to all that tech, and went on and on about how, if only they could find that one switch that would allow them to return the geth and EDI to their earlier state without activating the Reaper code, they could all be brought back to life in an instant.

Shepard tried to keep up as long as she could, until her eyes glazed over and she couldn't take it anymore. "Great," she said, putting a hand on Tali's arm to stop her from filling her brain with any more information that she wasn't able to process anyway. "Keep me posted about your progress."

Tali gave her an enthusiastic nod. "I will. This is very important, you know. EDI and the geth would be a tremendous help in fixing the relays and all the tech that's been damaged in the war. A lot of our engineers are working on this problem besides helping all the other fleets wherever they can. It's nice to be appreciated now, " she added, her head tilted in contemplation. "Nobody calls us suit rats anymore."

"Well, I guess this war was good for one thing," Shepard agreed. "I never thought that I'd live to see all the races working together for a change. I hope it stays that way."

"Me, too."

"Speaking of the different races working together, have you heard from Kal? The last information I had about him was that he'd been rescued from Palaven. Is he okay?"

"Yes." It was impossible to tell by looking at her mask, but Shepard was pretty sure that her friend was beaming now. "He was on that turian ship that had picked them up for a while, but now he's back with our people. He's recovered from his injuries. I saw him yesterday."

"I'm glad. Say hi to him for me, will you?"

"Of course. Well, I've enjoyed our talk, Shepard, but I think I'd better get back to the ship. Our chat has given me an idea that I want to try. I'll let you know if it comes to anything."

Tali got up with a wave of her hand and left, and Shepard looked around the room, searching for Garrus. He was talking with Steve, but as soon as her eyes found him, his attention was on her. He excused himself and came over, and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"How do you feel? Are you tired? You want me to send them home?"

She reached up and rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. "No. I'm okay. It's nice to see everybody in one place again."

The rest of their guests stayed for a little while longer, but soon they left one by one, and Shepard and Garrus were finally all alone.

She ate some of the stew Sam had brought and he fixed himself a meal from the ingredients he'd stocked in the fridge a few days ago, then he helped her with her bath before they went to bed.

He inhaled her scent as she pressed into his side, and murmured a "Good night."

She'd looked so worn out when her head had hit the pillow that he thought she would go to sleep instantly. Instead, her small hand found its way underneath his tunic and began teasing his waist.

"Make love to me, Garrus," she whispered.

"I... don't know if that's a good idea. Not that I don't want to," he added urgently, "but you're still recovering, and I don't want you to, uh, exert yourself."

"I won't. You'll do all the work." She raised her head to look up at him and opened her eyes wide, quite dramatically. "Please? I've been waiting for this for so long."

"Well," he laughed as he tussled her hair. It felt different than before, since it was still shorter than it used to be, but he liked it anyway. "If you insist."

He rolled her underneath him, taking care to keep his weight off of her, and did as she'd asked, making his movements as slow and tender as he could.

Later, as they lay in each other's arms, still shaky and out of breath, he decided that it was the perfect time to ask her the question that he'd been thinking about ever since that first night following their reunion on Menae.

"Jane, do you want to, uh, spend the rest of your life with me?"

Her eyebrows crinkled in concentration as she tried to decipher his words in her foggy brain. She finally rose up on one elbow to look into his face. "Are you asking me to marry you?"

He swallowed hard and tried to calm his heart. Maybe he wasn't doing this right. Or maybe she didn't want to go that far. Either way, there was no backing out of it now. "Yes, I believe that's what you humans call it. I, ah, would like you to become my official mate. Bond mate. Wife. You know..."

His stomach stopped doing its flip-flops when her face split into a huge grin and she bent down to kiss him on the lips. "Yes. The answer is yes. To all of the above."

He let out a relieved laugh and gently stroked her arm and back when she laid her head back down on his shoulder. They held each other, their limbs intertwined in a loving mess, and talked about their future until they both fell asleep, exhausted, but happier than they'd ever been.

 

* * *

 

Tali's idea turned out to be a stroke of genius. It did need some tweaking, but after two weeks of experiments and the cooperation of a dozen scientists and engineers, they eventually made a breakthrough: EDI and the geth finally came back online.

Of course, there were a few naysayers who predicted catastrophic consequences of letting the synthetics loose on the galaxy, but their warnings were soon forgotten as the geth began to work on the relays, which everybody agreed was a high priority. They achieved greater success in one week than all the races had in 8 months.

Joker, naturally, could not have been more pleased to have EDI back. Things were starting to look up, and it wasn't more than a month later that the relays became functional at last.

The fleets were more than ready to return to their home worlds, and once they verified that there was a working structure on the other end and a place to go back to, several ships began the process of pulling out of the Sol system.

Shepard's legs were almost fully healed by now. They were certainly strong enough to carry her down the aisle, so one year after the Reaper war had ended, the _Normandy_ picked up its old crew one last time before they'd scatter all over the galaxy, and ferried them to a secret location somewhere in the South Pacific for a very special occasion.

She looked beautiful in her white dress, holding a bouquet of red roses, as she walked between the chairs filled with their friends and family. Garrus couldn't stop grinning as he stood under the clear, blue sky, and watched proudly as she approached then stopped by his side.

The official in front of them who was conducting the wedding—an unusual mixture of human and turian customs—went on and on about the joining of their lives in a sacred bond, but all they really paid attention to was each other's smiles.

There was a hugely successful party afterwards, with food and drinks and dancing. As much as she enjoyed the event, Shepard couldn't help but feel a small twinge of pain in between the laughs at the thought that they might not have an opportunity like this ever again. Unless, of course, one of their friends got married and invited them all: Tali and Kal were certainly headed that way, and it seemed like Kaidan and Liara had developed a close attraction during the time they'd spent together on the _Normandy_ as well.

Wrex and Eve would soon become the proud parents of their first clutch of babies, Grunt was very popular with the females, and even Jack seemed to have warmed up to the goofy charms of Jimmy Vega.

It was funny how life found a way to happiness despite the horrors of the war. Among all the suffering, all the heartache, it was remarkable how they'd all found the one person in this universe that made them whole, and in spite of everything that had happened, she wouldn't have traded that for anything. Not a thing at all.

 

* * *

 

Years later, when she and Garrus would sit around their living room with the kids, cuddling up on the couch or on the floor in front of the fireplace, and the children would ask them to recount, once again, the story of how they'd met, they would always start their tale the same way:

"It was serendipity."

 

 

~ The End ~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great big thanks to Tuffet37 for being my sounding board/advisor and to KabiViolet for beta reading this chapter.
> 
> When I started to work on this story, back in 2012, I never imagined that it would take me more than a year and 29 chapters to finish this. Thank you so much to all of you who have stuck with me through the infrequent updates and supported and encouraged me with your comments. 
> 
> Also, thank you to all the wonderful people who have helped me with the chapters: The Red Celt, Laura Kaye, Tuffet37 and KabiViolet. I couldn't have done it without you. :)
> 
> For a glimpse at Shepard and Garrus's new life together after the war, check out my story "Anything for You":
> 
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/1165368


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